Help keep this site alive with your VIP membership and unlock exciting site features available only to our supporting members!
UPGRADE to get lifetime access to dig420's video section, the Meet Up! forums, AD FREE surfing and much, much more!
Waiting for her return
- Thread starterSoonToBe
- Start date
Afterward
After my wife has sex with a guy, she looks foward to him leaving so that she can have her time with me. This nonverbal conversation says, "I love my husband. He is my partner. I want him to be part of each of these experiences."
It makes me feel loved, knowing that she's eager to be with me.
You wife is saying, "My husband can wait. I want more time for intimacy with my lover."
She's not eager to come home to you.
She keeps reassuring you how much she loves yoy as she gives more and more of herself to him. When his piece grows larger than yours, say "goodbye".
After my wife has sex with a guy, she looks foward to him leaving so that she can have her time with me. This nonverbal conversation says, "I love my husband. He is my partner. I want him to be part of each of these experiences."
It makes me feel loved, knowing that she's eager to be with me.
You wife is saying, "My husband can wait. I want more time for intimacy with my lover."
She's not eager to come home to you.
She keeps reassuring you how much she loves yoy as she gives more and more of herself to him. When his piece grows larger than yours, say "goodbye".
Let her have the her overnight, as long as she takes the kids with her. Tit for tat. That way the reality of the situation hits home. Right now there scinerio is a dream that you allow. If you pull plug reality enters and the whole thing comes down. I remember a nurse that was cheating on her husband and when her husband found out he put her out. When she showed up on the lovers doorstep he said "what you doing here, your not welcome go home to your husband" and that is what she did.
SoonToBe said:
I love women and those are words I'd expect her to say. I've guided several women through opening up sexually and they mostly have the same concerns and progression.
Indyhubby and reader22 must not have noticed this is a cuckold site. Sheesh. Hey, guys, read the thread that preceeded this thread then reread this entire thread and see that he encouraged her to play. Don't bash Sue for doing exactly what he asked her to do.
I thought I would have more time tonight but I got busy with stuff and Sue's fell asleep during Leno's monologue.
Loveslife has it correct - I am a cuckold and after giving it a lot of thought, I am going to tell her yes. They were thinking of next Friday night but I pointed out that it's Good Friday, although none of us seem to be overly religious. I asked her what Brad was going to use as his excuse and he said that he'd already arranged an alibi and I reminded her that she didn't want to be the cause of any problems.
We've talked about a lot of stuff in the last few days including her asking me if I was going to miss her being with Brad. I was kind of taken by that question - it was weird, I answered yes and it felt good to say it. Like a weight had been lifted off of me. She smiled at me and said she thought I would say that.
I asked her what she wanted out of her night with Brad and I guess she got the vibe from me that I was being open and she was too. She started with the same reasons she'd told me earlier, not liking to have to rush home or whatever. I actually asked her if that was all it was or was she looking forward to being with "him" for longer.
When she didn't answer me right away I already knew the answer. She swore to me up and down that it's not love and that she doesn't feel that for him - but then as she looked away from me a little she also said that she loves sex with him. She quickly added, "not more than with you or not better than with you", "just different" and after a pause "more physical might be a way to describe it". And she looked back at me and I just said "it's okay" and I then just said "I understand".
And I do. I know what Indy and Radar have said and I know what others have said here too - but I also know that I feel like a million bucks right now. Something about setting her free to do it - it just feels right. She saw me smiling a little and she said "you're really okay with it?" and I just said that she needs to make sure that this is all it is and again she swore up and down that she just wants more of him.
I didn't ask about watching her but it did come up. She asked if I still wanted to and I nodded and said yes. Again a pause which I picked up on right away and asked "what - what's wrong" and she just said that I need to be sure its something I really want. I didn't understand why she said that until she said that "Brad is very physical with me" and all I said back was "oh" and then I just said "maybe I should wait then?". I didn't push it and sort of left it there.
The fact that this was a Wednesday night did come up. Once she heard the stuff I opened up to her with she said that we should keep up our Wednesday pattern and not have sex tonight. It was weird because I actually didn't expect to (I did not tell her though). I asked her if she'd tell me all about her night when she comes home and she said she would love to.
So, that's it - it's almost all out in the open now. I told her yes when she asked if I "take care of myself" (her term for masturbating) on Wednesdays (of course she already knew that). When I admitted to being turned on thinking about her with him all night she asked me about it and I just told her that the idea of her being in bed with him, having sex whenever they wanted, her sleeping with next to her or closer, (as someone here suggested) her maybe having a "morning" with him before coming home - I told her it all turned me on. But then I added that it only turned me on if, in fact, she was coming home to me.
She knew what I meant by that and she just turned to me and said that I will always be where she calls home. I swear I almost felt a tear in my eyes! Sometimes you just feel something from your partner and this just feels good - really good.
I"m sure I'll get flamed by some folks here. And yes, I do know that this is a huge thing to do and allow - and yes, Indy and Radar and others do have a point that if nothing else, it moves the bar very far beyond where it was. But I do think, and of course, hope, that it will be okay for us.
Loveslife has it correct - I am a cuckold and after giving it a lot of thought, I am going to tell her yes. They were thinking of next Friday night but I pointed out that it's Good Friday, although none of us seem to be overly religious. I asked her what Brad was going to use as his excuse and he said that he'd already arranged an alibi and I reminded her that she didn't want to be the cause of any problems.
We've talked about a lot of stuff in the last few days including her asking me if I was going to miss her being with Brad. I was kind of taken by that question - it was weird, I answered yes and it felt good to say it. Like a weight had been lifted off of me. She smiled at me and said she thought I would say that.
I asked her what she wanted out of her night with Brad and I guess she got the vibe from me that I was being open and she was too. She started with the same reasons she'd told me earlier, not liking to have to rush home or whatever. I actually asked her if that was all it was or was she looking forward to being with "him" for longer.
When she didn't answer me right away I already knew the answer. She swore to me up and down that it's not love and that she doesn't feel that for him - but then as she looked away from me a little she also said that she loves sex with him. She quickly added, "not more than with you or not better than with you", "just different" and after a pause "more physical might be a way to describe it". And she looked back at me and I just said "it's okay" and I then just said "I understand".
And I do. I know what Indy and Radar have said and I know what others have said here too - but I also know that I feel like a million bucks right now. Something about setting her free to do it - it just feels right. She saw me smiling a little and she said "you're really okay with it?" and I just said that she needs to make sure that this is all it is and again she swore up and down that she just wants more of him.
I didn't ask about watching her but it did come up. She asked if I still wanted to and I nodded and said yes. Again a pause which I picked up on right away and asked "what - what's wrong" and she just said that I need to be sure its something I really want. I didn't understand why she said that until she said that "Brad is very physical with me" and all I said back was "oh" and then I just said "maybe I should wait then?". I didn't push it and sort of left it there.
The fact that this was a Wednesday night did come up. Once she heard the stuff I opened up to her with she said that we should keep up our Wednesday pattern and not have sex tonight. It was weird because I actually didn't expect to (I did not tell her though). I asked her if she'd tell me all about her night when she comes home and she said she would love to.
So, that's it - it's almost all out in the open now. I told her yes when she asked if I "take care of myself" (her term for masturbating) on Wednesdays (of course she already knew that). When I admitted to being turned on thinking about her with him all night she asked me about it and I just told her that the idea of her being in bed with him, having sex whenever they wanted, her sleeping with next to her or closer, (as someone here suggested) her maybe having a "morning" with him before coming home - I told her it all turned me on. But then I added that it only turned me on if, in fact, she was coming home to me.
She knew what I meant by that and she just turned to me and said that I will always be where she calls home. I swear I almost felt a tear in my eyes! Sometimes you just feel something from your partner and this just feels good - really good.
I"m sure I'll get flamed by some folks here. And yes, I do know that this is a huge thing to do and allow - and yes, Indy and Radar and others do have a point that if nothing else, it moves the bar very far beyond where it was. But I do think, and of course, hope, that it will be okay for us.
SoonToBe said:
The bashers don't get the cucky part or the fact you pushed her into this where she'd never have gone without your urging. The risk, well, the risk causes jealosy and much arousal, and also causes us men to value our ladies and treat them well.
Just my opinion. Give Sue my greetings and best wishes, please. It goes without saying that I send my best wishes to you, as well.
Loveslife, it was really your post that made me want to come out and own up to it all with Sue.
I do still have some misgivings but it feels so good to be able to tell Sue exactly how I feel and to finally be honest with myself too.
I genuinely do want her to have the experience she wants. When I think about her waking up in his arms and them enjoying a leisurely morning fuck and the maybe showering and dressing together - it just turns me on incredibly to think about her sharing those moments with Brad. Yes, it's going to hurt - I already know how I'll feel next Friday night lying in bed alone - but I also know that I will have such fantasies that there are going to be a lot of sticky wads of tissues by the time morning comes around.
I know Indy and Radar and the others all fear that Sue sharing those intimate moments with him will take away from what we have together. That could be but I wouldn't be honest with myself if I didn't say I want to experience this.
I guess that's the difference I feel. Inside I want to truly experience being a cuckold - and that surely (for me) includes denial and, at times, her even preferring or wanting him more than me at times.
I may regret it later but right now, it feels wonderful to anticipate this and want it to happen.
And yes, from reading your comments on what I wrote, I do see that Sue is getting much better at manipulating me and alleviating my concerns while still keeping me very aroused at what is going on.
Oh well - back to work.
I do still have some misgivings but it feels so good to be able to tell Sue exactly how I feel and to finally be honest with myself too.
I genuinely do want her to have the experience she wants. When I think about her waking up in his arms and them enjoying a leisurely morning fuck and the maybe showering and dressing together - it just turns me on incredibly to think about her sharing those moments with Brad. Yes, it's going to hurt - I already know how I'll feel next Friday night lying in bed alone - but I also know that I will have such fantasies that there are going to be a lot of sticky wads of tissues by the time morning comes around.
I know Indy and Radar and the others all fear that Sue sharing those intimate moments with him will take away from what we have together. That could be but I wouldn't be honest with myself if I didn't say I want to experience this.
I guess that's the difference I feel. Inside I want to truly experience being a cuckold - and that surely (for me) includes denial and, at times, her even preferring or wanting him more than me at times.
I may regret it later but right now, it feels wonderful to anticipate this and want it to happen.
And yes, from reading your comments on what I wrote, I do see that Sue is getting much better at manipulating me and alleviating my concerns while still keeping me very aroused at what is going on.
Oh well - back to work.
Loveslife - I agree with almost all of what you posted - except - I do not think I would want to hear her say she would "rather be fucking Brad than me" - at least not in that way. Denial is one thing and I DO get off on that, but I don't think I would want to hear her say she'd rather be fucking Brad while we are mid-fuck.
Other than that - I can't believe I am actually saying it but I do want her to do this as far as she wants to take it.
Later....
Other than that - I can't believe I am actually saying it but I do want her to do this as far as she wants to take it.
Later....
Cuckold for a very long time...
Some folks here think, because I believe see risk of certain behaviors, that I don't understand a cuckold relationship. I'll give you some perspective.
I married my first wife six weeks before my 19th birthday. Before my 20th birthday, she was having sex with other guys. We were married for almost 24 years. She regularly had sex with other men throughout our entire marriage.
During those years, I experienced almost everything I've read about here. For example: at times I waited for her to come home from a guy's house, or waited in the living room while she was with some guy in our bedroom, or waited in our bed while she went to the guest room for sex with someone spending the night, or joined her in 3-ways (one of the guys was one of my brothers), to name a few. She had sex with both of my brothers for many years.
I ate my first really fresh cream pie in 1974. It's been a staple to this day. Of course I didn't have a name for it then. It was also the year I was instructed to guide another man's cock into my wife for the first time.
In the winter of 1976-1977, while I was away in Germany for six months, she would make an international call to tell me who she just fucked. She and a friend of her's would go out regularly to pick up guys for one reason... to fuck. Ultimately she had a number of different guys who would come over after she put our daughter to bed. They would call and ask if it was OK to come over. If another guy was already there, she just wouldn't answer the phone and they would know someone beat them to the punch that night. Sometimes after one would leave, another would come over. One of her regulars was her ex-husband.
In the late 70s, she worked as a cocktail waitress and would stop at her lover's apartment almost every night after work. Sometimes she would bring a guy home and fuck him on the sofa bed in the living room (next to our bedroom) before coming to bed with me. A few times she would bring a guy into our bed and they would have sex as I lay next to them. I may or may not be invited to participate.
1988 was a watershed year. It was the first time she described to me a guy she wanted to have sex with, told me where he worked and told me to "make it happen". This meant that I walked up to a guy that I'd never met before, dug up the courage to overcome my humiliation, and tell him that my wife wanted to fuck him. He was her first steady black lover. That relationship continued over a year until we moved out of state. In fact, because we wanted to wait until the end of the school year, I moved and she stayed behind from Jan until Jun and they had sex 4 or more times a week.
One of the most erotic things she ever said to me was, "It's a good thing you like for me to have sex with other guys because I could never be faithful to any guy. I tried to be faithful when we first got married but I love cocks too much and couldn't do it."
I've been married to my second wife since 1998. Before we got married, I clued her in on my previous marriage. We tried a 3-way and she liked it. We agreed, before we got married, that she would have freedom to have sex with whomever she chose. That is how we live.
In 1999 she had sex with a black man for the first time. Over the next two years, she gradually ended all of her sexual relationships with white guys. She never lets me forget that I get sex with her because I'm her husband and she loves me. She loves her orgasms with me but they are from my "magic hands" and don't leave her satisfied like she feels after her lovers.
For at least the past 6 years, when she cums, she is either with a black lover or pretending she is. If I'm the one making her cum, she always is calling one of their names, never mine.
I help her prepare for them. I'm her guina pig as she tries different things and asks it I think he'll like this. She compares me to them daily. And rest assured, it's never an ego builder for me.
One time, she and a guy had just finished having sex. I was fucking her missionary, enjoying that wet, loose, silky feeling that some of you know about. She was, after him of course, not really feeling me at all. He moved up and put his semi-hard cock between our faces for her to suck. As soon as he was fully hard again, she pushed me off, and said, "Get off of me. There's no way you're going be the one fucking me if he's hard and ready."
I know who she prefers kissing. It's not me. I know which cocks she like to suck best. It's not my weenis (her name for it). I know who gives her the best oral. I know whose cum has the best flavor. Whose nipples she like to suck. Whose hands she enjoys on her body. It's never mine.
I'm her partner in life. I'm her comfort zone, her security.
I've been a cuckold since 1972 and I've experienced or seen almost everything I've read about here. So when I warn about the "slippery slope" I do it for the people who want both the lifestyle and their marriages. This lifestyle appeals to folks who keep needing the bar raised to feel the excitement.
Sometimes raising that bar in certain ways, opens a Pandora's box that ends the bonds that hold the marriage together. The key is to know your glue and which bars pose risk. Then decide which is more important to you, more excitement (aka cucky angst) or your marriage.
I keep seeing people pushing others to raise their bars so they can get get second hand excitement. They either don't know what they're talking about, don't care who gets hurt or both.
It's obvious, by what's written, that most are not deep enough into this to even understand the psychology of all of this. So Soon... be careful. Reverse doesn't usually work and you are on a dangerous path. Manage your risk.
PS The very physical sex is to be expected. It's a huge turn-on to see her experience those highs.
Some folks here think, because I believe see risk of certain behaviors, that I don't understand a cuckold relationship. I'll give you some perspective.
I married my first wife six weeks before my 19th birthday. Before my 20th birthday, she was having sex with other guys. We were married for almost 24 years. She regularly had sex with other men throughout our entire marriage.
During those years, I experienced almost everything I've read about here. For example: at times I waited for her to come home from a guy's house, or waited in the living room while she was with some guy in our bedroom, or waited in our bed while she went to the guest room for sex with someone spending the night, or joined her in 3-ways (one of the guys was one of my brothers), to name a few. She had sex with both of my brothers for many years.
I ate my first really fresh cream pie in 1974. It's been a staple to this day. Of course I didn't have a name for it then. It was also the year I was instructed to guide another man's cock into my wife for the first time.
In the winter of 1976-1977, while I was away in Germany for six months, she would make an international call to tell me who she just fucked. She and a friend of her's would go out regularly to pick up guys for one reason... to fuck. Ultimately she had a number of different guys who would come over after she put our daughter to bed. They would call and ask if it was OK to come over. If another guy was already there, she just wouldn't answer the phone and they would know someone beat them to the punch that night. Sometimes after one would leave, another would come over. One of her regulars was her ex-husband.
In the late 70s, she worked as a cocktail waitress and would stop at her lover's apartment almost every night after work. Sometimes she would bring a guy home and fuck him on the sofa bed in the living room (next to our bedroom) before coming to bed with me. A few times she would bring a guy into our bed and they would have sex as I lay next to them. I may or may not be invited to participate.
1988 was a watershed year. It was the first time she described to me a guy she wanted to have sex with, told me where he worked and told me to "make it happen". This meant that I walked up to a guy that I'd never met before, dug up the courage to overcome my humiliation, and tell him that my wife wanted to fuck him. He was her first steady black lover. That relationship continued over a year until we moved out of state. In fact, because we wanted to wait until the end of the school year, I moved and she stayed behind from Jan until Jun and they had sex 4 or more times a week.
One of the most erotic things she ever said to me was, "It's a good thing you like for me to have sex with other guys because I could never be faithful to any guy. I tried to be faithful when we first got married but I love cocks too much and couldn't do it."
I've been married to my second wife since 1998. Before we got married, I clued her in on my previous marriage. We tried a 3-way and she liked it. We agreed, before we got married, that she would have freedom to have sex with whomever she chose. That is how we live.
In 1999 she had sex with a black man for the first time. Over the next two years, she gradually ended all of her sexual relationships with white guys. She never lets me forget that I get sex with her because I'm her husband and she loves me. She loves her orgasms with me but they are from my "magic hands" and don't leave her satisfied like she feels after her lovers.
For at least the past 6 years, when she cums, she is either with a black lover or pretending she is. If I'm the one making her cum, she always is calling one of their names, never mine.
I help her prepare for them. I'm her guina pig as she tries different things and asks it I think he'll like this. She compares me to them daily. And rest assured, it's never an ego builder for me.
One time, she and a guy had just finished having sex. I was fucking her missionary, enjoying that wet, loose, silky feeling that some of you know about. She was, after him of course, not really feeling me at all. He moved up and put his semi-hard cock between our faces for her to suck. As soon as he was fully hard again, she pushed me off, and said, "Get off of me. There's no way you're going be the one fucking me if he's hard and ready."
I know who she prefers kissing. It's not me. I know which cocks she like to suck best. It's not my weenis (her name for it). I know who gives her the best oral. I know whose cum has the best flavor. Whose nipples she like to suck. Whose hands she enjoys on her body. It's never mine.
I'm her partner in life. I'm her comfort zone, her security.
I've been a cuckold since 1972 and I've experienced or seen almost everything I've read about here. So when I warn about the "slippery slope" I do it for the people who want both the lifestyle and their marriages. This lifestyle appeals to folks who keep needing the bar raised to feel the excitement.
Sometimes raising that bar in certain ways, opens a Pandora's box that ends the bonds that hold the marriage together. The key is to know your glue and which bars pose risk. Then decide which is more important to you, more excitement (aka cucky angst) or your marriage.
I keep seeing people pushing others to raise their bars so they can get get second hand excitement. They either don't know what they're talking about, don't care who gets hurt or both.
It's obvious, by what's written, that most are not deep enough into this to even understand the psychology of all of this. So Soon... be careful. Reverse doesn't usually work and you are on a dangerous path. Manage your risk.
PS The very physical sex is to be expected. It's a huge turn-on to see her experience those highs.
Indy Hubby said:
You're assuming. I've been in the lifestyle since 1981 and have seen lots of hotwife, cuckold, cheating, and swinging situations.
It's nice to read how you got your cuckold merit badge, and it's a relevant cautionary tale, but don't assume others know less or that they don't care about this couple's marriage and happiness. Don't assume that you see into other posters' hearts and minds. Don't assume other posters are carless of his marriage for the sake of their own secondhand excitement.
Everyone take a deep breathe
Gentlemen,
If I may (and I am not someone who is in the lifestyle although I have friends that are, and I am somewhat envious of Soon's situation), you both bring relevant perspectives to the table. Neither of you is empirically correct, and that's cool... you are giving Soon your perspectives based on you own personal experiences, both of which sound different from one another.
There are others here that I doubt have any personal experience yet do not seem short on perspectives based on fantasy experience - lol; and then there are folks like me who give advice or ask questions from the head or the heart with admittedly no personal frame of reference for the lifestyle. Lastly there are folks that, well....I can't tell where their perspective is coming from (sometimes what planet even) but... to each their own I guess.
Let's try to avoid the urination tournament here. I believe the intent of your posts is not to prove you are right.... it's to make sure Soon get's your point of view, advice and cautions. Based on what he's written... he get's it.
I am a mod on another site and have seen "discussions" like this get ugly for all the wrong reasons. I think you are both great guys with vast expereriences to be shared. If I was a mod here, I would recommend that you make sure we always try to respect the other person's point of view.
Thanks for your posts.... and Soon, please keep us updated by continuing to share your thoughts and experiences.
Rick
loveslife2005@yahoo.com said:
Gentlemen,
If I may (and I am not someone who is in the lifestyle although I have friends that are, and I am somewhat envious of Soon's situation), you both bring relevant perspectives to the table. Neither of you is empirically correct, and that's cool... you are giving Soon your perspectives based on you own personal experiences, both of which sound different from one another.
There are others here that I doubt have any personal experience yet do not seem short on perspectives based on fantasy experience - lol; and then there are folks like me who give advice or ask questions from the head or the heart with admittedly no personal frame of reference for the lifestyle. Lastly there are folks that, well....I can't tell where their perspective is coming from (sometimes what planet even) but... to each their own I guess.
Let's try to avoid the urination tournament here. I believe the intent of your posts is not to prove you are right.... it's to make sure Soon get's your point of view, advice and cautions. Based on what he's written... he get's it.
I am a mod on another site and have seen "discussions" like this get ugly for all the wrong reasons. I think you are both great guys with vast expereriences to be shared. If I was a mod here, I would recommend that you make sure we always try to respect the other person's point of view.
Thanks for your posts.... and Soon, please keep us updated by continuing to share your thoughts and experiences.
Rick
casino said:
In posts, I also give the caveat that it's just my opinion. I don't claim wisdom from on high, and I don't presume to correct others unless they give "kick the bitch to the curb" advice when the wife's only doing what the hubby begged her to do, often for years, while she was saying "I need no one but you."
Casino, you're right. Folks need to offer comments or advice, but not start a pissing contest. STB can choose which advice to take, and which isn't relevant to his personal situation and preferences.
Some recommend more extreme cuckold measures that turn me off (chastity devices, refraining from jerking off, insults, tatoos, wearing panties). However, I'm glad they post because maybe one or more of those suggestions may resonate with STB. I don't presume to know what might one day pique his interest.
STB, has Sue talked more about what she's thinking? The "being his" remarks she says that are painful to you are exciting to me. Do they excite you on a cuckold level as well? Just curious.
SoonToBe said:
I found it a great turn on when my wife shouted out "Fuck me, (boyfriend's name), fuck me" . I thought it was great that I could still get her that excited that she wasn't sure who she was with, even after she had had his bigger cock many times. Needless to say I didn't last much longer after that!
She also told me that she fucked with him, but made love with me.
Good luck with your lonely night.
Addendu
Loveslife,
After you "save" a reply to someone's post (thereby posting your reply), you have 10 minutes during which you can click the "edit" button that appears at lower right then make editing changes to your post. In other words, if you flame someone in a moment of rage, you have only 10 minutes (for reasons best understood by the forum owner) to reconsider and modify your "reply" to something more civilized. After that, the "edit" option disappears and whatever you've said in your "reply" is, so to speak, set in stone.
The "edit" option can, of course, also be used to correct spelling and grammar if one is concerned with such niceties.
—Custer
*The subject line should read "Addendum" not "Addendu." This illustrates that the "edit" option does not permit one to edit the subject line.
Loveslife,
After you "save" a reply to someone's post (thereby posting your reply), you have 10 minutes during which you can click the "edit" button that appears at lower right then make editing changes to your post. In other words, if you flame someone in a moment of rage, you have only 10 minutes (for reasons best understood by the forum owner) to reconsider and modify your "reply" to something more civilized. After that, the "edit" option disappears and whatever you've said in your "reply" is, so to speak, set in stone.
The "edit" option can, of course, also be used to correct spelling and grammar if one is concerned with such niceties.
—Custer
*The subject line should read "Addendum" not "Addendu." This illustrates that the "edit" option does not permit one to edit the subject line.
