New boyfriend?

[jaggu008]

I wish it had happened earlier and we could have read about your journey so beautifully written. You and sue have complimented together, it is so easy to see, sometimes you leading but most of the time she leading youin cuckolding. You have expressed your turmoil and doubts so clearly, which i can understand, because i myself have gone through it. But the difference is my wife was very much unlike sue to lead me everso gently as she did. The result was it was not as fulfilling ot as enjoyable for either of us and we had to stop it, when we tried it first time.
We being wiser today, we hope our experiement with her present lover will be more pleasureable to us and She will me make me a real cuckold

 

[SoonToBe]

Jagg - thanks. it's not easy at times but it's been wonderful.

To bring things up to date, she is going out with him tonight. I know she's gone out with him many times on Thursdays but it does feel different this time after seeing them together, I know what she'll be doing and how she will be.

I had said many times that I wondered if it was easier when she was seeing Robert as I had never seen them together. I have to say that I am still thinking about that. Ever since seeing them together it's been in my mind just how connected and intimate she was with him. She even said it again last night, that she feels very comfortable with Paul, that and other things are in my mind now. Even though she's told me this is very much how she was with Robert, it's not how she was when I last saw her with Frank. Back then, yes, I saw her many times but she never seemed to convey as much emotional and seeming instinctive closeness as I saw with Paul. It's not changing my mind about anything, in some ways it makes it more intense to know just how much she gives to him. But knowing she was this way with Robert has given me a lot of new things to deal with.

I should have known or realized this, after all she couldn't have wanted to have this "big affair" without this and perhaps even more closeness and intimacy - but somehow after seeing it again it's given me a bit more angst. Of course I should say that I am incredibly turned on by all of this and I very much want things to progress as they seem to be. One of the discussions was whether Paul could come by "most" weekends like we've done as a second time for them to be together. Yes "most" was the correct word to describe it. So I have this split feeling - the angst at knowing, seeing and even being a part of what I witnessed last weekend between them - vs - the incredible arousal I have at this going on.

Make no doubt, last night I told her and confirmed with her that I did still want to let things happen as they are. She asked me if I was still comfortable with things. That led to me telling her about my thoughts and new feelings. I have to say that it was a crazy intense feeling to hear her tell me (again) that this is how she was with Robert. She teased me and taunted me a bit by telling me more - that in the later times she was with him, that she felt every bit as intimate with him as she did with me and made particular to remind me that he was the only one making her cum like she does with me. For as much as it stung, it was equally arousing!!! My god did my cock throb as she said those things.

I told her how it made me feel, anxious and yes aroused. She came closer to me and again told me how it's "just a thing" and that it's not something that I should worry about and that she's not leaving me, ever. It did make me feel better to know that even after she'd been this way with Robert, that we have merged back together as we have for the past year now. She didn't specifically remind me of that but instead again came back to that it will be something that we talk about and not that she springs on me in surprise and she again cooed in my ear about whether it still turned me on to see her with Paul. When I answered with a hoarse "yes" she got really sexy and slithered up next to me and asked me how I'm going to be when she wants to start denying me with Paul. Yes, she used the word "denying". Before I could say anything she said in a matter-of-fact voice "it IS going to happen" and she added "I can feel it already". Whether she could for real or whether she said it for my arousal, it didn't matter, it had the desired effect!!!

I didn't hide it from her, I moaned in response as she said it. I did feel safe, despite feeling apprehensive, it was like all Wednesdays, a time when I don't feel I need to hide anything. She told me after feeling him cum in her that if was okay with it that she "knew" she was going to want to deny me again and she looked at me and said that now that she has another lover, that she admits that it turns her on to think about. That was something she repeated later as I spewed my cum all over my chest and stomach. She told me more, that feeling him in her and especially feeling the wetness from him later on, that it had started her thinking about how she felt those last few months with Robert.

I had to admit that it turned me on too (it was obvious). I was quite horny and she even giggled and said that maybe I was so horny because of what I'd seen (shortened from her way of asking that). Without much thought I grunted back a 'yes' and she giggled again of how the same thing that so turned her on "finally feeling him in me" was the same thing that turned me on. But it was when she started to tell me more about how she felt, about how finally having him cum in her and how it seemed to have made her feel closer and more in-touch with him. And while she was teasing and taunting, for a moment after she said that took on an incredibly caring tone and she leaned in and said quietly "are you okay with this baby?". But there was no question to me about how she felt. In a way, it was as significant to her as it was to me for the first time she'd received his cum. I told her honestly that it scared me but that it also turned me on like nothing else ever.

She kissed me and told me she loved me and always would. I told her that I depended on that and for a moment again, she dropped the cuck-tone for a moment and she held me close. She still had her night-shirt on but I could feel the warmth from her. She turned my head towards her and looked at me in the eye and said "I will always love you" as she kissed me.

A moment later though she returned to her cuck teasing of me and continued on her earlier course. I sensed that she wanted me to cum soon from how pointed her comments were, especially when she asked me "what do you think of how he's shaped?". It brought a groan from me that made her giggle and she said "it took me a little while to get used to it" and then she said "but the second time baby, mmm, I could really feel it". And she said something about how he felt ".... inside" and that was it, while I'd hoped to have lasted longer, just the way she spoke, it was incredible. She was surprised too at first but then later cooed to me that "must have really turned you on..." as she reached down and stroked the last little bit out of me.

As she played with my cum she told me about how she knew that she was going to want to deny me in the future, that again the teasing and comments started about her being turned on by seeing me cum and that it wasn't going in her. She traced her fingers through the sticky wetness and told me how crazy sexy she feels when she thinks about only her lover having sex with her. Yes, she said that, she didn't say only him cumming in her, but I didn't ask about it as I thought (and still do for right now) that it was the sentiment and not the physical act she was talking about. I had caught my breath by then and I told her that I found it exciting too. She pulled me close with her other arm and kissed me and as we ended our kiss, we shared a finger-ful of my cum before I licked her fingers clean. She giggled and said "you like that" and proceeded to bring up another 2 fingers-full which I licked off her and she then leaned in and kissed and we snowballed a bit. She always moans deeply when she first shares the taste with me.

The fun part of our evening ended with the both of us lying there side-by-side talking. I was totally relaxed and she was animated and excited. She admitted that she'd held off her own horniness because she was seeing him tonight (Thursday) and she talked to me more normally asking if I was okay with her seeing him. I told her that I loved that she wanted to see him and that I was okay with it. We talked briefly about him coming to our place. I told her that I wasn't ready to commit to every Saturday but said that I didn't see why we couldn't work something out. Of course it was easy to say that having just cum and shared a very intimate moment with her. I'd long said that I would like to experience it where her boyfriend might come over from time to time to be with her, I'm not sure I was thinking it was going to be so sudden and start so soon but also hard to change how things seem to just happen on their own.

Well, I'm sure I've missed a lot. Let me finish out my work day and then I should have some time to re-read and correct/update as needed.

 

[SoonToBe]

Well, it's 4pm and she just texted me that she called Paul and that she's going to leave work a little early so that she can have time with him and still come home at a "reasonable hour". Even though I let go with a huge load last night I'm horny as a goat again and am sitting here with a huge hardon that I will surely have to relieve before she gets home. She won't care as I'm sure she will prefer for me to leave her alone tonight while she enjoys her post-sex time.

 

[Harry2614]

"For Harry - for as much as I can recall, there is that much more that I can't. I surely didn't account for every minute of every hour. Even now 3 days later, I can't recall specifics such as who said what and when, but I can surely recall the visions and feeling about what I saw and experienced."

OK now let me understand this more clearly. What I am getting is that from the point that you stood outside the "cracked" [barely open] door, where you could see only a limited 'view' of your own bedroom, and "couldn't hear them at all."
From that moment, to when you spilled your 'cum' into your hand, then turned away to go back downstairs what you wrote and posted (Paragraph 2 of post #136 below) is mostly from the "vision" [Movie] in your mind. -or- as I said earlier your 'wishful thinking mind.'

Post 136: "After a while I couldn't take it any longer and I crept back upstairs. I suppose they may have expected me as the door was cracked and the hallway was totally dark.

I did not go in this time. She didn't invite me and to be honest, if this was the guy she was going to have her fling with, I wanted to see how they were together without me being there. I couldn't see everything clearly and I couldn't hear them at all."

It is not that I 'disbelieve' what you write. It is that I am learning that some of what you describe so voluminously, is reality, and some is the 'replay' of the "vision" in your head. That "vision" often 'weighted' by your own thoughts and desires, tip's the 'balance' more towards 'fantasy' than reality.

Cheers, Harry

 

[SoonToBe]

Whatever. I post what I am feeling and what I best recall. That's all. Take it however you would like.

 

[far2easy]

Well i for one think it sounds like you and sue have found some fun! How would it be if she just decided to deny you without going to condoms? Maybe she that is what she was really thinking and was floating a trial balloon!

 

[SoonToBe]

Harry - going back to that point in what I posted about. There were candles lit in the room as well as these sconces we have on the wall so it wasn't dark in the room but it was totally dark in the hallway. The door was probably open about 2 inches - if I moved close I could see all of them, standing back I could only see a narrower area of them. I couldn't see where her butt was firmly buried in the bed and could only see his back and I guess his butt moving up and down. But I didn't need to be there to know what I was missing seeing and as I said, it was the vision of how they were together without me there that really struck me. Seeing her respond truly on her own and seeing how he treated her when I wasn't there, while it was somewhat disturbing as I am now understanding my own responses better, but it was also profoundly exciting and arousing.

Sorry if that isn't as accurate as you'd like Harry.

Far2 - I'll admit that it would be somewhat of a surprise and yes, would be exciting, but at the same time I also know that she wants this to happen when we're both ready. I know that last night a lot of what she was saying and teasing about is also her time to start to feel out how different ideas feel and are received. I know she pushes the envelope and takes signals from me on what works. I suppose I should be very grateful that she does that. So I don't expect that she would do that. Sitting here alone right now thinking about where she is, I am quite sure she wants to have this develop slowly and steadily. I am also grateful that unlike with Glenn, that she hasn't suddenly jumped into the deep end of the pool. To that, I know it's something she wants to feel herself.

I admit that truly seeing her wanting this for herself, seeing her alone with him, that I am a little scared. I'm not scared to let her do and experience what she wants, I guess maybe it's that I"m a bit hesitant to see just what she winds up wanting to experience.

So, while I'm pondering what I want for dinner I am unable to avoid thinking about her.

 

[SoonToBe]

I find that when I am home alone waiting for her return is when my mind wanders the most.

Why does it turn me on so to know she's out getting fucked at her boyfriends. I mean I even know she's not going to want to do anything with me sexually - well hopefully she'll share some of her evening and maybe I'll get some relief that way, but even if she doesn't - the arousal I feel right now knowing what is likely has me turned on like crazy.

 

[SoonToBe]

Finally heard from her - she called this time. Told me she was getting in the car (heard it start up) and also told me to "wait up for me". She sounded playful so maybe it's good that I held my arousal at bay...

 

[dana007]

STB
Well matbe you will , have some fun tonight after all.
hope all is going well still .
how is Sue's dad doing still good. keep us posted.

 

[Harry2614]

"Harry - going back to that point in what I posted about, ..... I didn't need to be there to know what I was missing seeing and as I said, it was the vision of how they were together without me there that really struck me. Seeing her respond truly on her own and seeing how he treated her when I wasn't there, while it was somewhat disturbing as I am now understanding my own responses better, but it was also profoundly exciting and arousing." Sorry if that isn't as accurate as you'd like Harry."

There is an old 'Truism' that has been 'handed down to me' that says: "I know you believe you understand what you think I said [wrote] but, I am not sure you realize that what you heard [read] is not what i meant."
Now that is supposed to be self explanatory, perhaps it is. I think It explains, what I am getting at. (I replaced "said" with wrote, and "heard" with read),

Steve, I am not looking for accuracy. To attain that I would have to be standing next to you so close that I would see, and hear exactly what you see and hear. And even if that were possible, I would still record the "vision" differently than you. Because my mind would have recorded it differently.

You have a Cuckold mindset. You are writing on a cuckold website. What I am saying is that those two things, among others, have an influence on how you mentally record each event you witness, and therefore how you describe it in this journal.

That is true whether you want it to be or not.

That is true, whether your "vision" is reality -or- fantasy

The bottom line is that you write it, then We read it. And we perceive what we read by another 'mindset' that is uniquely ours.

I have long ago quit being critical of what you are doing, so what I wrote is no judgement of who, or what you are.

I no longer live "vicariously" through your writings. I read, 1.because it's entertaining, and 2.because I'm curious to know what happens in the last chapter.

This is all I expect to say on this issue. You of course can answer. I just don't want to burden you with the need to explain every detail.

Cheers, Harry

 

[SoonToBe]

Well, I thought we might have some fun and such when she came home on Thursday night, but instead we had a bit of a discussion that extended into last night.

I guess the concerns and such that I posted here all week didn't go unnoticed by here here at home either. I thought I'd hidden them a bit more from her but she picked up on them and she told me it was one of the reasons she wanted to see him on Thursday night, that she wanted to talk to him more about this and other stuff. I wanted to know more about what she talked with him about but she first pointedly asked me "do you still want this to happen". She told me very matter-of-factly that she had just spent the past 4 hours "making love with my boyfriend", just like that. She again asked me if I was okay with that.

Well, I opened up with her and we were actually up quite late on Thursday night talking about all of this. I didn't quite say everything to her that I conveyed here but she surely picked up on my ambivalence after they'd been here last weekend and how I seemed a bit withdrawn and hesitant since then. I was honest and I told her what I'd said here - that it's been a long time since I'd last seen or been with her and another man and that she seemed a lot more intimate with Paul than I remembered her being. She didn't say much until I said that the last time I saw her that it was much more like fuck-buddies fucking and I told her that I was having a hard time getting my head around what she'd said that she wasn't fucking but that she was making love with her boyfriend.

She asked me again if this was what I wanted and she told me that it's something she recognized and she looked at me and said that she feels it's happening because they click so well and she again told me that "it was this way with Robert" and then I think she realized the significance that me never seeing her with Robert left a huge gap. She asked me in a questioning kind of way about "what did I think was happening with him (Robert)" and then she said what I'd known and I realized that she probably had told me all of this but it just never registered that she was this way with Robert.

I don't want to and probably can't recall the exact conversations but at one point she asked me if I still wanted to be a cuckold and she asked me again if I still wanted to assume, using my words, "the beta role" with her. When I said yes was when she looked at me and said something very close to "then you'll just have to understand that I will always be making-love with the man who is the alpha for me". I think all the blood must have drained out of my face because of just how she put it. She held my hand and told me that it's okay and that she actually feels she'll be ready for this if it's still what I want. She said that while she still hasn't found that intense climax with Paul just yet she admitted that it's just a matter of time and that she can feel herself be very close at times with him.

Maybe she's been reading what I've been posting because she actually confirmed a lot of what was in my head but she also took the time to tell me many times that "it's just sex baby" and that "I just want to really enjoy him" - but each time she added that "I want it to be good for you" and she asked me again if I liked watching her and how it made me feel and if it made me feel the way I wanted. I told her it did and that she knew it had made me really want her. She giggled and said to me "so are you really turned on now despite all of this knowing where I've been earlier?" I told her yes. And we talked quite openly about how she'd felt with him earlier. She told me how she loves "making love" with him and she told me that I have to get used to that. And I guess that was around when she asked me if I was still okay with her having this whole "big affair" thing. (my words).

I asked her if Paul was "the guy" and she said that she still wasn't sure but that she was very comfortable with him and that he respected us enough that she felt it was possible and she admitted that she was starting to develop some feelings for him. She asked me if that turned me on to hear and I told her yes and again that it was something that also made me anxious to think about.

So - no - we didn't mess around at all on Thursday night. Other than talking about her having been with him and seeing her briefly naked as she put on her night-shirt, Thursday night wasn't about sex for me even though I was horny and my cock was visibly hard at times. I wondered about last night but realized that as we settled onto the couch after dinner that she still wanted to talk more.

She asked me yet again if I was okay with all of this and when I said yes last night she said again that "it's going to happen then". And when I asked I think I already knew my answer. She told me that since last weekend, that right after he came in her the first time, she told me she felt her desire click up a notch. I'm paraphrasing here but she told me that she felt really close with him before but that since he'd started to cum in her that she feels it's made a huge difference in how she feels about him. She told me that finally truly "feeling him" had been something she felt had pushed her desires up a bit. I knew where she was going just by how she was talking a bit evasively until she felt comfortable herself telling me what she was really thinking. I told her that I knew that would be a big moment for her and him and I told her again that it was beautiful even if it was a bit difficult for me. She held my hand after I told her that because I guess she finally realized that I was okay with some of this feeling awkward when I told her how turned on and strangely satisfied I felt seeing her let herself go like that with him.

She looked at me and then said something like "then it WILL be okay, right?" and I egged her on and she said that she can already feel that she is going to want it to be "just Paul" and that she might want it sooner than she or I might have thought. And for a moment we talked in a serious tone when she asked me "when did you think I was going to want that to start?"

No, I did not tell her that in my head I'd been playing the "one less time" mind-game on myself. But I did tell her that I thought that it would be another month or two before she might come to me and say she's ready. She held my hand tighter and said that is how she was thinking too, that it would be something that would build slowly, that kind of desire. In a way I wasn't surprised when she looked at me and said that she feels it more strongly than she thought she would and that almost from the first time she felt it last Saturday, that its something she's begun to think about more and more. She looked at me and said that each time they have sex that she has thoughts about not wanting to share it with me. I told her that I could respect that and that I understood it too and told her that was why I didn't expect to have been with her last Saturday and I joked "last night too".

We went back and forth a bit with her telling me a bit more about her own desires and how she was a bit surprised about how her feelings are developing. I laughed and actually felt good for a moment because I recognized her honesty and I asked her if this isn't what she'd wanted, to have this sort of thing happen without her having to force it? And I even reminded her of how she felt when she realized her feelings were developing when he was away last month. She smiled broadly when I guess she realized that i'd maybe thought a lot more about this than she thought I did.

She held me closer and asked me if I was really going to be okay with it and she said "you know, having it happen". Before I could answer she said that she felt bad sometimes thinking like that, knowing that at some point she's going to want to deny me (I moaned inside when she said it) and she said she still had some qualms about wanting this with the man she loves (me). I held her and told her that I wanted her to let it happen and that maybe my melancholy response was a bit overboard for me.

In the next 15 minutes she had some of the most revealing conversation with me. She asked me again if I was really okay with it happening. Finally I had to ask her "just what are you thinking". Without recanting the entire conversation she told me that she knew that she was going to want me to start using condoms with her sooner than she (or I) was thinking. I asked her when and she half-laughing and half-somber said "in a way I wish it was now" but then said that she was sure I'd want a few more weeks at least. I gulped and told her that I wasn't ready yet unless she felt really strongly about it. She hugged me and said "no baby, I do want to feel you more" and admitted that she would suppress her desires a bit longer. Before I could really reply she added though that she knows now that if this goes on for longer, that at some time she hesitated to say it but finally did and said that at some point, "if it happens", that she is going to want to feel how it is to be totally exclusive with Paul. She looked at me and said she'd talk to me when she started to feel that she wanted that but added that "it is something I want". I held her and told her that when she was ready for that, that we should talk about it. She held my hands and said in a very quiet tone "it is something I've already thought about". I told her "I know".

She continued to open up with me and I already knew to expect the next when she said "you know, I'm also...." and sure enough she said it. That she's going to want to spend the night with him "sometime soon". When I told her that I expected that too she added "I even thought about whether I could stay over with him during the week" and she added that "he's not far from my office". I groaned back about that and told her that was a big step and that we would have to talk about that. It was me that turned to her and said "don't forget about him maybe coming skiing with us?". She cooed in my ear "would you really be okay with that?" and when I nodded yes she giggled and said "you know how I get when I ski" and after a pause she turned to me "would you really be okay with that - he and I making love after skiing?". I held her tightly and said as long as I still feel love between us that by then - still 3-4 months away - that "I expected no less by then!".

I know I started out on Thursday night feeling hesitant and anxious, but by that same time late last night, I felt quite different and much more comfortable. I don't know why particularly other than our entire conversation pushed my openness with her a bit further down the road, but more that I think I finally heard her open up and admit her own desires to me instead of making me guess about it all. Taking all of the little comments and such and stitching them all together if you will.

And now it is Saturday. Yes, he is coming over tonight again, despite the rain, etc. She asked me very honestly last night if he could come here again. She told me that this time she would like me to be with-them and "not just watch". I asked her what Paul thinks about all of this. She says he is still a little confused but that he is also amused that I like what she is doing with him. She told him again that I get turned on when she will playfully deny me and she told him on Thursday that we likely won't have sex until the weekend and she said he was interested and curious that I actually was okay and wanted to wait. She said they talked about last weekend and that he'd felt a little weird when he realized that it was just going to be her and him and not me but as she explained how it turned me on and she told him that I liked 'seconds', that he seemed to have accepted it. He's dated other married women and he said that he'd thought that some of them may have had a relationship like ours but that he never pushed or asked or found out. He actually told her that he is somewhat more curious about everything and a bit more interested in her because of our relationship and how I am. So that also made me feel good about things.

So, apparently we're coming up with a bit of a schedule of sorts. Wednesday night is and will remain my masturbation night. Thursdays it seems will be her date-night with Paul. That night worked well for us all along and yes, alleviating my desires on Wednesday also makes it a bit less of an imposition. Friday is open although she's said she may want to go out for drinks again in the future. Saturday daytime appears to be manicure day for her and now, at least tonight, is when Paul is coming over again. I'm not sure this is sustainable but for the short term before the holiday season starts, I suppose it will work.

I'm sure again I've missed a lot of details and nuances of our conversation but I can also say that we've moved ahead quite a bit with things. I know what I'm feeling will pass now knowing how she feels and more importantly, what she wants for us. It feels weird to know what is coming and what she wants and to now truly be waiting for the desires to surface and congeal. But I loved what she said about us, that she recognizes the boundary and recognizes our relationship.

I know I've felt this way before too. Seeing it happening and feeling torn between apprehension and wanting to let it play out and let her fulfill her desires.

 

[peakmb]

I think I'm as surprised as you as to Sue's timetable but not her content. Her frankness was always going to be necessary before your denial period started. Her relative harshness also in order to reinforce your beta position. It can be tough lesson if you want to take it that way but I'm afraid it's part of the territory. What I am surprised about that in such a long post you made no mention of when you next expect to make love to your wife. Clearly Thursday was out as it became a lesson night. Apparently Friday is not to be a reconnection and it seems likely you will be denied on Saturday too. You may be accepting of condom wearing in the near future but Paul needs taking on the journey too. He may well be a little uncomfortable with it at first. Whenever your next time does come you will probably be overwhelmed by the knowledge that it will be one of your last times in what may be an extended time. A real head rush perhaps. Whatever happens it's going to be emotional.

 

[far2easy]

No need to wrap you head around it, just go with it. Sue knows what she wants and is thinking of your well being. She loves you and will make sure you are enjoying it as well even though condom time is coming and so is full denial. You should give her what she wants why delay it. Start using condoms today FOR HER. After all, arent you doing it for her? In fact, maybe you should pick thanksgiving to begin the denial. That way you know when it is coming and can prepare a bit so you arent so shocked. You will be glad you did and it'll save you money on condoms too. Besides she loves seeing you spill your seed and i bet she will help you get off even more than you are now!

 

[SoonToBe]

Well, we've had a bit of a rough spot. It's me, but after last night I'm not sure if it wasn't better when she was with Robert and I didn't see them together. To be honest, I had a bit of difficulty watching them make love next to me. It led to a bit of a spat when Paul was out of the room and Sue actually looked at me and with a somewhat nasty tone in her voice told me that I needed to make up my mind and that if I wanted her to be with Paul then this is how it is and she reminded me that this is how she'd been for so long with Robert. That's what made me start to wonder if maybe it was better if I wasn't there.

Don't get me wrong, it's not even the sex part of it as I truly do think I'm long past getting upset about her fucking other guys - so it's what I guess I was so focused on the last time. It's just how intimate she is with him. I mean I knew it wasn't just fucking like it had largely been with Frank, she HAD told me and I should have known this was how she was with Robert. But seeing it and being next to her as she loses herself with him. I'm just not sure I can really be there all the time for it.

I knew she'd want him first just for herself as well as the comments that had been made about me and seconds. I was actually okay as they got undressed together and I followed suit a bit away from them. But again, I was immediately hit by this huge wave of I guess it's insecurity. But seeing her give herself so easily to him and seeing how easily she accepted his advances - just like we are together - I don't know but I guess I never really got used to this part of things. They kissed, he sucked at her breasts and she seemed so so comfortable as she just reached for his cock and it was like they're rehearsed that he would lay next to her on the bed.

While it was something I hadn't expected to feel, it didn't mean I wasn't aroused. Even as a part of me winced in, I guess agony, another part of me was hugely turned on when it seemed like nothing for him to just pull her pussy apart and reveal the tender pink insides and a second later seeing his wet finger slip inside her. Seeing her pussy throb like that, knowing how turned on she was hugely turned me on but at the same time I felt such a chill seeing him so comfortable with her as to just penetrate her like that and to feel around inside her. I actually looked away from her pussy and up to her face as she let out a moan as I imagined his fingers had found her g-spot (not too hard to find in reality).

I am not going to recap things as I felt more like a spectator at times yesterday than even the prior week. Despite her holding my hand, I know I felt her grip relax each time she felt him bring her to orgasm. In some ways it was easier to look at him penetrating her as they were fucking as it was so much more physical and not nearly as emotionally intimate. The sounds and smells of their pleasure filled the room and again neither of them held back. As the rooted away next to me I still didn't know what was going to happen other than he was going to cum soon from how they seemed. My revulsion turned to arousal as I watched her give way to just animal instincts. And when he did finally cum in her, I will say that I definitely felt a distinct wave of pleasure myself as I felt her tense at first and then relax as he enjoyed cumming in her. He lay forward on top of her afterwards and I didn't see a thing more between them until a moment later he pushed up from her and laughed as he looked over at me and said "geez, sorry, we got a little carried away".

He didn't say anything to me but he did look down at her and he did smile as he slowly pulled back and out of her. Thing is I am sure that she must have told him that I liked to see her right then because before he pulled out of her completely he shifted back onto his knees and moved as far back - coincidentally? - so that I had a better view. I know I should cringe at that moment but I never seem to. He pulled back slowly and I saw her inner pussy lips stretch more and more until he slithered out of her. Just a little dribble of wetness followed even as her pussy stayed open for a moment.

I expected to lean in then and maybe lie next to her on the other side and to start playing with her and that's when I again felt the same jealousness as instead she leaned towards him and pulled him in for a kiss and a hug. She sort of yelled at me later asking me what she should do at that moment that she just wanted to feel a bit more of him after making love with him and that she didn't feel right switching to me right away. I should have probably been a bit better at that moment but instead as she pulled him close and kissed him I sort of sulked for a moment.

But even despite her annoyance at the time, sure enough a few minutes later she pulled away from him and out loud asked me if I wanted my turn! I thought about going down on her as I could see quite a bit of cum was starting to drip out of her but I was also very self-conscious with Paul lying right there up on his elbow right next to her. She turned to him and said "you're okay, right?" and he joked for a second and said "you're his wife!" which made me laugh too.

I hadn't ever lost my hard-on even with all of my emotional issues at the time and with that lead in, it felt a little weird but I was okay with it as I moved between her legs and I started to rub my cock at her now wet pussy. We'd switched places and now he just held her right hand and occasionally pulled her hair out of her face but he let me have my turn with Sue. I was always aware that he was there but as we got into it and she relaxed and I could feel what he'd done to her and yes, I could start to feel his cum lubricating me, oh man did it turn me on. He saw it and he even commented something about "... enjoying it..." and "... like you said...." but it didn't matter to me. I'd waited days and now she felt so incredible. I didn't need her or him to say anything, feeling the slackness in her pussy and, in my head, what I thought was her feeling very open deep inside (where I pictured the big head of his cock as he came in her) was all I needed to be on the edge. Rising above her on my elbows and seeing the frothiness around my cock as all I needed and on the next thrust into her I pushed deep and hard and let go. I felt her body responding as I pushed her knees back and apart and as I came deep in her I felt her unable to resist letting go into that post-fuck orgasm that she'd been wanting so much with Paul.

I admit for a second I even felt some sort of victory that he hadn't done that for her, at least not yet, and that I had. That did make me feel good until she told me later on last night that she would rather I didn't do that with her if he's with us. I didn't know what she meant until she said that she didn't like letting him see that I could do that to her while hasn't been able to. I was quiet when she said that and it's stuck with me even into today, that she actually asked me to not ride her like that if he can't do the same for her yet!

I guess maybe there's still a part of me that's got some reluctance now that things are happening right in front of me. But I will also say that I felt a little weird climbing off of her after him having seen that again as I felt like I was sort of saying "okay, she's yours again". I stayed on top of her for a moment longer before getting off. I'm not even sure what I said or really all that I was feeling other than I knew that I should give them some alone time again.

 

[manon]

Steve, it has taken you a long, long time to get to this point of trust and being open with each other. Your wife has demonstrated time and time again her love for you. You need to trust in her and let this go or it will be ruined.

You know I believe in balance and being prudent so for what its worth, my small opinion.

 

[Harry2614]

Steve, I'm sure some would say, "Be careful what you wish for, without first knowing the consequences." But I think this rightly belongs Under the "what if" heading.

Since neither Sue or You thought of, or considered 'what if xx happens' I think there should be no repercussions.
This all is pretty much "a learning experience" for you both, with many more to come.

It also points out that you are really not "two sides of the same coin," but that you each have goals that sometimes will conflict.

You have agree'd over and over again that this is what you want, without really knowing what "this" is.
I'm sure that more discussion will follow.

BTW, did you get a passionate kiss and hug, for the mind blowing orgasm YOU gave her?

Cheers, Harry

 

[far2easy]

This is what you wanted right? Sue to have her affair, for her to take control, right? If you really want her to expand her horizons then you need to set aside and stop being so selfish . Its kind of funny because you are the one slowing things down now and she is comfortably moving forward just stop fighting with your ego. She loves you, needs you, but right now she wants Paul's dick. Let her have it, be happy for her, be her emotional support and stop trying to fuck her. It'll all work out fine just let her lead.

 

[peakmb]

Steve,
Your account of Saturday is clearly unfinished so I will back off any real conclusions until you say how it ended and how you related today. Still I feel I must say that everything Sue has done she said she was going to do, especially the greater emotional content and you agreed to it all up front, you even pushed for it. Maybe it's the speed of change, especially your lack of control. It's almost as if you somehow saw Sue at least partially as your puppet and then found she had cut the strings. Logically I'm sure you knew what was going to happen. Emotionally it may just take longer to process. My advice. Trust Sue and suck it up. She didn't marry a sulker.

 

[SoonToBe]

So, yes, to Harry's question. After cumming in her and holding myself off of her as she enjoyed her bliss, after that I collapsed down onto my elbows and then onto her. She always feels warm all over and I love to feel her breathing still calming down and to almost be able to feel her heartbeat. She held me tightly and as she regained her composure and I could feel her relax, she did give me a kiss and tell me that she loved me.

For Manon. I do trust her and I do recognize what you said about jeopardizing this. And I suppose that directly goes with Harry's comment about not discussing what if's, such that now, things feel a little weird.

So - I felt somewhat self-conscious having "performed" in front of Paul the way I did and again, I'd been so horny that I hadn't really taken my time and savored the moment. I can't say that I was feeling any desire to reclaim her and I don't know that was even fucking her that hard or anything. I didn't need it as the wicked thoughts in my head about how she felt and what I'd just seen I didn't need all that much time. Thing is, we were in a good rhythm and I admit that it was Paul who got her started up. So when she felt me getting ready to cum I can only guess that it didn't take her long to get there herself.

But after letting go of her and rolling off of her it felt suddenly strange to see him still lying there next to her like he was. As I already said, I had wanted my turn with her to be something more than wham-bam, but seeing him there when I was done, like I said, I can remember the feeling of pulling out of her. I know she lay there for a second looking quite brazen letting both of us see the damage I'd invoked on her. But I guess it what she did next that again got to me. Instead of lying there like that, she pulled her legs together and leaned up on one elbow towards him and as I watched she pushed his hair back and then gently touched his face and said something to him.

I know we shared our moment after sex where I felt all of her but again, as she turned to him and began to touch him gently, as I said, that was when I just felt I should give her a bit of alone time. Don't get me wrong, I was turned on. Despite all of the angst and agita that it wrought on me, I have to say that seeing her turn to him and his hand touch hers, it was kind of beautiful. I mean it had all happened so fast that I am sure now that she still felt warm all over. I think I suddenly felt like a third-wheel and again I had this sinking feeling seeing her just fall back into his arms.

This time I didn't watch them afterwards. I thought about it but to be honest, I wanted to see her come down the stairs to the kitchen - and to know where she's just come from. So, again, I am having this same problem as I've had most every time. I feel kind of stupid thinking and going back to reading a bit. I guess it's just the next level up in it all. A lot more is out in the open.

I feel weird, I mean I definitely want her to continue with Paul. I even told her that before bed tonight. I told her that it's my problem and I'll have to get used to it. I know she's right, she again reminded me "this is how I was with Robert for months, did it matter at all?" I know she's right but I also know I just totally didn't let my mind go in that direction. And again I have an issue with intimacy for her, but I know it's mine and that it will come to pass.

I was nice to Paul when he came down the stairs alone dressed. He came up to me where I sat in the living room and he held out his hand and said "we good?". I held mine out and he pulled me up and I pulled him in and I told him "yeah, we're good" He said something about "really liking Sue" and I told him that as long as he makes her happy that he makes me happy - or something with those same words. He said thanks and then complained about the cold rainy weather and really, before we could talk much more, he left.

Mind you we'd again had some wine and I will also say it may have enhanced some of my negative feelings. Much of that negativity was shed though when she came into the room a few moments later with just her robe on. It was loosely tied and I could see her cleavage as well as a lot of thigh as she walked. She stood in front of me and untied the robe and as I looked at her she said quietly something like "I'm not going to hide it".

I was spent but even so she looked radiant and it did get a bit of a throbbing going! I stood up and kissed her and I suddenly realized she wasn't in a sexy mood, she was in an annoyed mood.

And so, that has been how we've been today. At one point when she got annoyed with me she yellled at me to "shit or get off the pot" so I know this is bothering her. I admitted to her that I am having a bit torment at times that she's aware of. Despite having the thought that it would be so much easier, I did NOT suggest to her that I not be there. I want to be there, I mean it did turn me on once I got past the angst-filled moments and I kept myself from thinking too much in the wrong direction. It did turn me on to see the physical side of their sex, I just need to get used to what apparently developed over the time with Robert. I feel stupid thinking about not realizing it.

So now she's said what others here have said, that this is what I wanted. As we lay in bed earlier tonight before I got up and let her sleep, she turned to me and said in this calm coaxing kind of voice that this is what I said I wanted, to be the beta for her. She held my hand and said calmly that I need to be sure that's what I want.

Peak - I think you may have part of it, that in some ways it's happening quite rapidly. And perhaps again I thought I had more control than I really did or that somehow my feelings would maybe have more of a role in all of this. Is it realistic to think that she might tone down the ardor until I am more comfortable? Maybe yes, maybe no. Yes, I pushed for this, even provided fodder for fantasies to develop more rapidly, and I know I have no reason to be mad at her in any way. I'm not, that's part of why I feel weird, I'm more mad at myself more than anything. But your last few sentences are true and as I suppose to be expected given all that we talked about and yes, all that she would like. I guess the reality is that it's harder to see it happen than it is to hear about it.