Squirming - yes, things were easier between all of us. I just saw your last update and I want to thank you as your thoughts very much match how I would have replied to Broken had I had the sense to think of it that way. You're also correct that I don't want the alpha/beta stuff to really be outside the bedroom. I'm not sure if that falls counter to the D/S type of stuff that Broken is suggesting.
But you are correct that things were a lot more relaxed. Not to the point where the 3 of us were talking nonchalantly in bed, but certainly to the point where he looked over at me as he was kneeling between her legs rubbing at her clit and fingering her pussy. He smiled at me and I smiled back and I think I even said something like "she likes that". Again it seemed a lot easier without him seeming to be smothering Sue.
It's something that I have been thinking about since Saturday. I really had no problems (well, nothing compared...) seeing him playing with her body so freely, even as he rubbed the tip of his cock up and down her swollen pussy slit! Even seeing her back arching as he tweaked her didn't really bother me as much. I am sure he must have sensed this too because at other times he looked over at me and even after he'd started to push into her he didn't monopolize her. I would also add that even Sue was looking at me at times with a truly beautiful look in her eyes. I held her hand and even caressed her breast as she started to get into a rhythm with him. And that was when he surprised me by pulling out of her and looking at me as he said "want to take a turn?" I know it must have surprised the heck out of Sue and I don't think it was what she had intended if she'd told him to be nicer to me! But I also didn't want to upset things so I grunted out a "sure" and he moved over and I took my place.
Mind you this all happened very fast and I was not expecting it, neither was Sue. She was about to complain until I said "okay, just a bit" and then I just said "but you can go first". Now my cock was rock hard as I took my turn but I also KNEW that Sue didn't want it - and as I said that, her smile returned. Thing is, for as excited as I was - I also knew she didn't want me doing much with her right then so for as intense as the moment was, I knew every well that I certainly shouldn't make her cum or anything and that I definitely shouldn't cum in her. And I have to say that seeing the smile return to her face, it was as if it was something unsaid but known between us! I had to resist my urges to plunge into her and I had to resist the thoughts of Paul having been in her just a second earlier! I gave her a few thrusts and then said "she's all yours" as I pulled out of her. Sue let out a deep moan as she looked down and saw me pull my now huge cock out of her. That moan was only surpassed by the one that followed Paul's cock re-filling her pussy.
I'm not going to say that it was easy. I think maybe knowing what is at stake and what we've talked about that is making it more intense as I've seen her having sex before. Once they got back into their rhythm they slowly moved closer to each other until once again, he was lying totally on top of her holding her legs back at a lewd angle leaving everything visible from the foot of the bed. Even after all this time, it still winces to see him penetrating her and to see her responding. I knew that by this point I was virtually invisible to them and again, I admit that the moment was again getting to me. I was starting to not like how I was feeling until I felt something and realized that even with her eyes closed, that Sue had reached out with her left hand and she'd touched mine. It was just for a second but it was all that I needed. In a flash my mood went from somber to elated. Even though she fell back under his attentions that she'd reached out in a moment when I needed her, it really made me feel better and it helped me!!!
I went into total cuckold mode at that point. Yes, they had moved to being incredibly intimate this time when Paul resumed with her, he held her tightly as he pushed into her sweetness. It didn't phase me that they were passionately kissing and from my own experience I know how erotic it is to feel her pussy responding as I kiss her, I knew that he was feeling that same. The thing was - it didn't bother me this time. I actually knelt there next to them with my hard-cock bobbing away and was loving watching them. I admit that when I moved behind them more to the foot of the bed and watched him physically fucking my wife and seeing her respond with him that it hurt a bit. But at the same point - I will say loud and clear - I loved seeing it!!!! I could have easily jerked-off at that moment watching them like that - but I didn't, I just wanted to be there and experience it.
Dare I even say that kneeling there watching them, that while it did hurt and sting to know what she was giving him and what she will soon only have with him, that at the same time I felt awesomely aroused and again strangely satisfied (even without cumming) at seeing her respond so willingly and easily. This time the comfort that was evident between them, while it made me a little uncomfortable, it also turned me on when I saw Sue cum with him and could see her wetness appear around his cock. It turned me on to know end knowing that he had just felt her like that. I think without the emotional pressure I felt last time, this time I was really able to again enjoy the cuck-ish aspects of it. My arousal continued right through the moment I watched him take her from me. At least that's how it felt to me to hear him grunt and to then watch him as he thrust deeply into Sue and then watched his body tense several times.
It's going to sound weird but I actually felt a tear in my eye at that moment - both at what I'd just seen and knowing he'd again cum in her pussy but also knowing that they'd both just shared the moment of intimacy that should have only been between Sue and I. I can't explain it other that that it really tweaked my cuck-desires incredibly! I don't know how to explain it other than to say that seeing him cum in her only gave me more arousal to want to resume using condoms with her.
I know that I found myself daydreaming as I watched them. I should probably add that Paul isn't a bear or a very hairy type of guy, I think that would turn me off to watch. But I hadn't even realized they'd come down from their high until I felt the bed move and Paul climbed off her slowly. The lights were dimmed in the bedroom and it was dark outside already but there was no hiding how she looked. Her head was turned and she was still kissing him and his hand was still on her breasts but her pussy was visible to all!! It was slick looking and yes, still somewhat open but there wasn't a flood of cum running out of her. I'll even admit that it turned me on to think that he'd cum so deep in her that it hadn't yet seeped out!
And again I came out of my momentary daydream hearing him say something about how good it was and then her say "baby, be quick if you want me" and of Paul looking up at me as he leaned back away from her. If I didn't remember what she'd said earlier she reminded me as I leaned down to kiss her as I rubbed my cock against her pussy - she whispered "remember at the end, okay?". She didn't know it but hearing her say that made me incredibly horny - my god it was such a turn on to hear her tell me that as we started to fuck.
Paul said something about warming her up for me but I really wasn't that focused on it and I just gave him a 'uh huh' with a little enthusiasm. I actually questioned at first whether he'd cum in her until I pushed into her a little bit and then it was obvious. Oh god was it obvious. I pulled back and I could feel the lubrication being spread all around and she moaned loudly at it too and opened her eyes wide as she felt me pushing back into her. In my head - her look was one of loving feeling me fill her fully combined with a look saying "don't make me cum too much". I fought the urge to fuck her as passionately as I could. She felt heavenly and it would have been so easy to make her scream. Each time I pulled back I could feel the desire rising in me, I needed to mount her. She felt awesome, and (she later confirmed) it felt like she was deliberately trying to keep it loose despite how I was making her feel. But it didn't matter - if anything it made me even more turned on as in my head she was loose because of him - loose and now gushingly wet from him.
I thought about not cumming in her. I actually did for a moment - thought about pulling out and either not cumming at all or stroking it off all over her stomach and in my head I even thought about saying "it's only for Paul today" but it was a fleeting thought. It turned me on to no end and was one of many thoughts that finally set me off, but I decided to stay in her and to enjoy cumming in her one more time. I didn't fuck her deep or hard, I just enjoyed the silky feeling of her pussy gently around my cock and the thoughts in my head did the rest. I came in her a moment later, I tried not to plunge all the way in or be too physical but I'm sure that mid-orgasm I got in a few deep ones.
She did NOT cum at the end with me, whether she fought it off or just didn't feel it. I know she didn't by the look on her face when I caught my breath, I gave her a kiss but she had a look on her that said I should get off of her and I saw that she was (and had been?) holding his hand as I was fucking her and a part of me was annoyed by that, but another part was aroused by it, either way, I didn't say anything. Instead I pulled out of her and I rolled off of her to the opposite side. She almost immediately pulled Paul down to kiss her - and again I felt that cuckold sting as I watched his hands start to roam all over her body and I watched her turn towards him. I got up to go into the bathroom and bring back a warm washcloth but by then they were both lying next to each other on the bed and she was totally facing him. I made a noise and motioned that I had a washcloth if she wanted it. She turned her head back to me and said "thank you baby, can you just leave it" and before she turned her head back towards him she stared at me, mouthed "love you" and then puckered as if to blow me a kiss before she again turned away from me.
As with prior weeks and as with how we'd talked about it, and obviously as she'd talked with Paul, this was now time for them to be alone. I had much less hesitation about leaving at that moment than I had in the past. Seeing her cleaving to him as she was hurt less this time. I picked up my clothes and carried them out of our bedroom to get dressed in the hallway.
And yes, I again gave them their alone-time. Where I hated the feeling the week before, it felt much easier this time. I don't know why other than what is in my own head that I just felt, I guess - less threatened by it this time - maybe not seeing him be all over her and having the little interaction I did with her, whatever, I sat in the living room again sipping a glass of wine while I heard quiet talking and laughing from upstairs. When that calmed down sometime later, I again crept up in the hallway.
Yes, it sounds like a repeat to everyone - but it never feels that way. Even after all this time and even with all of the angst and ill feelings I've felt, I would still never trade that moment of peering into our bedroom and seeing her totally involved with him. They were talking quietly and gently touching each other. I said from prior weeks that it really makes me feel good to see them like that, to see her really wanting it and really into it with him. And yes, to see that he treats her right. In retrospect, that really is the most important to me.
I stayed to watch them start to make love. Yes, there is no other way to describe it. We all fucked earlier, but this was definitely much more intimate and close between them. I tried not to focus on the emotions that were obvious but instead to think of it with the cuck-part of my brain and when I saw her wanting him, it really tweaked my pleasure center! I watched for a little while and when I saw her roll onto her back I felt compelled to watch for a moment more and watch him take her again. When I saw her responding I felt like a voyeur at the door and actually decided that I was not going to watch. Instead I went back downstairs and listened from a distance.
I did hear them. I can't say that I heard Sue scream out with that huge passionate post-fuck orgasm, but I did hear her cry out several times along with quite a few grunts and moans from him. Their sounds reached a crescendo and then quieted down. I will say that was one of the most intense moments in a long time - knowing what I'd just heard. I sat there in the living room for a while longer, even after hearing footsteps and noises in the bathroom upstairs. Sure enough, maybe 10-15 minutes later Paul came down the stairs.
He saw me sitting there and I stood up and we talked for a few minutes. He told me that Sue was an incredible lady and he again shook my hand and thanked me for "sharing her" with him. I told him it was more her doing than mine but that I too enjoyed what was going on. He said he didn't quite understand it but knew that it was common and he mentioned many Penthouse stories as well as the internet. I told him that as long as he took care of Sue that we would be fine, it was him who said that he wanted to respect our boundaries but that he had wanted to ask me if I was okay if he asked her out on other days "other than Thursday". I told him as I'd said before that it was up to Sue but that in general I was okay with it.
I know I could have talked with him more but at that moment it just seemed easier to shake hands with him again and to let him say the next thing, I won't lie when I said I was relieved when he said "well, I should be going now" to which I told him "thanks" and to drive safely.
Needless to say, as soon as he was out the door I was upstairs in our bedroom doorway.
