Hey all,
Sue's out shopping so I thought I'd post more about my thoughts and our conversations.
First - about Custer's statement that Brads wife must surely know he's messing around with Sue. I honestly don't think so. I know what you say about smells and all - and yes, Sue's wet pussy does have quite a fragrance when she's aroused. But I also know that from having the kids in the van that she has quite a selection of "wet wipes" and such. I know she doesn't clean up before she comes home, and while I've never asked about it, I wouldn't be surprised if somehow Brad gets cleaned up. Aside of the fact that Sue's told me that he has 2 small kids - so thinking back to when our kids were that young, sex is probably not the first thing she thinks of when he gets home. Matter of fact, that may be more of the drive for Brad if he's dealing with rug-rats and a stressed out wife at home with young kids. I know when our kids were young - that if I had someone I could have a quickie with and not have any issues afterwards - I'd have jumped at the opportunity.
But, as you've all said - it's an unknown till I finally meet the guy - which Sue has promised me for either later this week or early next week.
I guess it comes back to the fact that, despite the angst, that hearing of her and Brad is just a turn-on for me. All I need to do is think about them and I get a wicked hard-on. And Sue knows that - and I think she's learning how to deal with that and how to use it to, in some ways, make things even better for me. In some ways, knowing she has feelings for him makes it somewhat more arousing in that I know how passionate they must be when they're together.
See, that's the thing here - nothing that's happening between them is taking away from us - at least not just yet. If anything, what's been going on is making things better between us.
I'm sure she'll want to have some time with him this week somehow. I do think they'd be doing a lot more "after work" if it weren't for his wife and kids as our kids and I actually eat dinner much later now so our late afternoons and early evenings are more relaxed.
See, that's the thing. Even if she were fucking him every day - she's still coming right home after work and aside of her having this spring in her step and this cheery outlook (and of course, that well-satisfied look in her eyes) - and to me, that's what's most important. And that was one of the things we'd talked about long long ago - that if she ever did start to sleep with another guy, that whatever she did, that it couldn't take away from us. And so far, it hasn't.
Still - I do see the danger - I mean as you've all said, I do think back to when we got together and it wasn't much different - and over time, basically our fuck-buddy relationship grew into our marriage. But that took 2 people - not just one. And as I said, either she's lying really well to me - or she's serious when she says that she has no desires for anything beyond a fuck-buddy relationship with him.
And, then there's the issue she pushes at me - that this is my doing, that I pushed her to do this and that I should have the courtesy to let it play out based on how it's going. I do hope to one day actually watch her with Brad (or someone else) - but I also know that would be asking a lot of her and Brad right now. Perhaps when I do meet him - and if Sue will give us some time alone when we do meet, then I can ask him other things that might be more uncomfortable for the 3 of us to talk about together.
Sue doesn't know what the word cuckold is. I mean she could look it up but it's not part of her knowledge and isn't part of how she defines her relationship with Brad and I - and I suspect - at least now at such an early point in her allowing herself to be with others - that she'd be receptive or interested in expanding on the cuckold-aspects of all of this.
Clearly if I've been lurking here and finally convinced her to go ahead with all of this, that I'd be lying if I said I wasn't hoping for some sort of cuckold-related sexual attitude from her eventually. There's a part of me that would love to hear her say "not tonight, I want to be fresh for Brad tomorrow". I haven't told her that yet though - that I'd like her to flaunt her sexuality like that and to put herself first more. And I guess, until I'm more secure with how she and Brad are - and how she is in general - that I won't suggest that or bring it up for discussion.
I also haven't told her exactly that despite how personal and intimate it is, that I am very aroused by her letting him watch her put her diaphragm in. I still can't figure out why that turns me on or why I can't get it out of my head - but the thought of her sitting there on the bed next to him with him watching her spread her legs and put it in - knowing it's there to protect her from his sperm. Something about the reality of what that act means is touching me very deeply. I hope to one day have the courage to tell her this just as I am writing it here.
Sue was raised as this good catholic-girl and I think it's been enough of a stretch for her to accept that I am enjoying her and Brad - that if I were to push her further towards out and out cuckoldry - that it might turn her off. I want her to reach there on her own - if she reaches there - I want it to be something she wants to do.
Anyway - for the time being, I think we're okay and as I said, I hope to meet Brad later this week or early next. Until then - I'm just watching the bathroom drawer for signs.
More as it happens.
