Soon,
To travel back in time, although not too far — regarding your post 34 of Dec. 3 (referring to my previous post of the same day):
SoonToBe said:
I noticed Custer's last reply and found it possibly condescending (not sure - sorry if it wasn't)....
I had been viewing birth control as a practical matter to be dealt with in a straightforward way. Thus, I found it puzzling that your wife is in such an extended state of uncertainty over how best to deal with it.
I see now, however, my view was very naive. Marys_pet has done us all a large favor, I would say, by posting a number of links that illuminate this problem. They can be found here:
http://www.cuckolds.com/forums/gene...nt-b-c-b4-b-f-how-long-after-did-she-get.html
It is post 7 in response to the thread started today (Dec. 11) at this link, by Dudo.
A central point is that the pill has adverse affects on the libidos of a large percentage of women, and these adverse affects can apparently persist long after the pill is discontinued. "More research is needed," as researchers always say.... and that appears to be right. Apparently other hormone-based b.c. methods can also have adverse affects on the libidos of many women.
I also talked with my wife (an RN with long and varied experience) about this. She said the pill now has only about 1/10th the hormone content of the early versions and is much safer, re. your wife's concerns about cancer. It's b.c. effectiveness is slightly decreased as a result, but it's still highly effective. Her comments about other methods, including IUDs, made it obvious the whole problem is very complicated. So I said: "Suppose you were 48 [I think you said your wife is 48], you had become more sexually active, and you wanted effective b.c. What would you do?" She said, "I'd get a tubal ligation" (i.e., have her tubes tied).
She went on to say since that would be elective surgery, medical insurance probably wouldn't cover it. The cost might be on the order of $3 K (she guessed). It could be done via laparoscopy (negligible scarring), but recovery would probably take something like two to three weeks during which your wife would be unlikely to feel like any kind of sex.
So, sorry to have seemed condescending about this complicated subject. Clearly, your wife is fully justified in feeling a lot of doubts and uncertainties over how to go about it.
—Custer