Thoughts/plans for 2014

[Jaxunman]

Steve, i tend to agree with Will. Stop overthinking things and just go with the flow. You already have Sue's assurances that she loves you and none of this is changing how she feels about you. She is a smart cookie and recognizes what is in this for her and wants to show her gratitude to you by making this everything it can be for you too.

Sue is no doubt getting some coaching and advise in moving forward. So far, it seems to be very good advice. Perhaps her chat buddy is knowledgeable and sharing his wisdom with her. Her punishing you for your invasion of her privacy indicates a show of force on her part. She is showing you she is ready to take charge of things during this next adventure. She is seeking reassurance from you that you trust her judgement. What Sue is trying to do makes perfect sense. Making you comfortable talking about your deepest desires will increase your comfort level once she begins making those desires a reality. She will have much of herself and her own emotions invested in her lover once it reaches the levels you two have been discussing as of late. It just makes sense for her to insure with you now, when you both can take your time working through it, rather than later, when going too slow might impede the progress of her future relationship with a lover.

 

[SoonToBe]

I suppose you and Will are probably correct, I saw Will's reply yesterday and have been thinking about your reply.
Maybe I'm reluctant to relinquish 30 years of being the alpha-male for her, and yes, I admit that thinking about it this way makes me have some thought/angst about the future as in talking to her, it has become very apparent that she no longer has any doubt or question that she WILL have another lover at some point in the near future and that she is quite sure she will fulfill some if not all of her desires.

I will also say that I fully recognize what you are also saying in your second paragraph Jax. She's told me that she is sharing what is going on with her pen-pal and, at least in my head, I can see a change in attitude on her part - as I said, no longer doubting what she wants. Perhaps you're right in summing it up that she wants to take charge of things in her next adventure.

I know I have some reluctance and hesitation on all of this, and yet I also know that it is what I do want. When that feeling hasn't changed or gone away in 16+ years, it's for real and I suppose I should just accept it and make her truly understand that I am okay with it and that I do want it. I do know what she's saying about when it happens I'll be ready for it. I am seeing that more clearly for sure. As I've said and told her, in a way, I am almost looking forward to when she will come to me ready, my thought that seeing her desires rise for her lover will make me want her to move ahead all the more. I've looked back in my earlier writings about the same sort of rising desires each time she'd begin a new relationship, whether I recognized it then or not, by the time they moved to the next level of intimacy, in a way I was almost rooting for her to move ahead because of how excited I saw her becoming.

She's already hinted that we'll have some fun later and even teased that "maybe I'll let you peek later" so that has me turned on for sure...

 

[Harry2614]

Very well said, Jax!!!

I may not be making much comment here, but I am following along. In my opinion, 'Will' and 'Jax' are giving wise advice.

Cheers, Harry

 

[Will2112001]

I suppose you and Will are probably correct, I saw Will's reply yesterday and have been thinking about your reply.
Maybe I'm reluctant to relinquish 30 years of being the alpha-male for her, and yes, I admit that thinking about it this way makes me have some thought/angst about the future as in talking to her, it has become very apparent that she no longer has any doubt or question that she WILL have another lover at some point in the near future and that she is quite sure she will fulfill some if not all of her desires.

I will also say that I fully recognize what you are also saying in your second paragraph Jax. She's told me that she is sharing what is going on with her pen-pal and, at least in my head, I can see a change in attitude on her part - as I said, no longer doubting what she wants. Perhaps you're right in summing it up that she wants to take charge of things in her next adventure.

I know I have some reluctance and hesitation on all of this, and yet I also know that it is what I do want. When that feeling hasn't changed or gone away in 16+ years, it's for real and I suppose I should just accept it and make her truly understand that I am okay with it and that I do want it. I do know what she's saying about when it happens I'll be ready for it. I am seeing that more clearly for sure. As I've said and told her, in a way, I am almost looking forward to when she will come to me ready, my thought that seeing her desires rise for her lover will make me want her to move ahead all the more. I've looked back in my earlier writings about the same sort of rising desires each time she'd begin a new relationship, whether I recognized it then or not, by the time they moved to the next level of intimacy, in a way I was almost rooting for her to move ahead because of how excited I saw her becoming.

She's already hinted that we'll have some fun later and even teased that "maybe I'll let you peek later" so that has me turned on for sure...

Oh Stevie You are still conflicted about this. But We both know Your not going back to Vanilla Sex. You started down this path are you really going back? You have opened Your Soul to Sue. Quite Frankly, You are what You are. You know You can't have sex with Sue and Not Think about Her with a Lover. You got on this ride. There is no getting off. Look Steve You are what You are. Enjoy It.

 

[peakmb]

Steve,
For you and Sue at this point I don't think the choice is between going to Sue's full affair and plain vanilla with you as the alpha. As Will and others have said, you are what you are. The only question is to what degree. You have already tested several of the shades of grey and are now preparing for a darker one. Nowhere near black, but closer than you have been. Chances are you will enjoy it but as with any increasingly risky activity, you will reach your limit. All you have to do at that point is take one or more steps back. You can play at this as long as you both find it enjoyable and rewarding. Your only issue may arise when only one of you does so but I think love will trump that. Enjoy the journey.

 

[SoonToBe]

Well, I think I said and did a few things last night that may have finally persuaded her, and admitted to myself, that this is what I want.
But I have to say that she continued to play her part in turning me on and making me feel good about it all.

As I said, she's continued to talk more openly about her desire to have a boyfriend - and last night she admitted that she felt she a growing "need" to be with another guy. She wanted me to tell her how I felt about that and she asked me what I thought about her bedding Tony one more time. As part of our talking about this before we got into our fun last night I literally took a deep breath and told her the truth. I told her that I understood what she wanted and that I wanted it for her too. I told her that I too wanted her to find a new boyfriend and when we talked about Tony, she expressed a little concern about "doing it too much" with him but at the same time admitted that she'd begun to fantasize about being with him again. I told her that it turned me on to think about it and that if it's what she wanted, that she should go for it. She worried about leading him on but I told her that this would be the first time with him in a few weeks if not months now and I joked that he'd probably love to have another shot at her! I guess it was how I was talking, again, more calmly and confidently, because she seemed to be content with what I was saying and didn't continue to push for more of what I felt and was thinking.

She lay next to me on the bed and started kissing me and such and I knew it was time again and I guess like Pavlov's dog - my cock already started to rise. She reached into my boxers and giggled at how hard I was already. I wasn't sure about whether she'd slip her own panties off and I didn't push it, instead I told her how it turned me on that she was still wearing them and I told her that I was constantly thinking/fantasizing that she was doing so because she wanted only her lover to have her pussy. She asked me if that turned me on to think about and I, very relaxedly (is that a word), told her yes. She giggled and said "do you want to feel his pussy?" and the reference to "his pussy" hit me like a bolt of lightning. Excitedly I said "yeah, sure" and she smiled when she took my left hand and slid it beneath her panties. Her pussy felt so silky soft. She spread her legs a bit and didn't flinch or shy away as my fingers spread her pussy lips apart and I felt inside her pink wetness. Not being able to see it only made it more intense.

My right hand was a blur by now and Sue was giggling and asking me "do you remember how I feel?" "do you feel how wet I am?" and then she also said to me "this might be all you get to feel." I was wicked hard by then and she again encouraged me to tell her what I fantasize about that will get me to cum.

I guess everyone's thoughts and comments as well as my own had sunken in. I lay back and started to talk much more openly (even something I noticed myself) and I told her. I told her how I loved the thought of her being sexual with another guy. I told her everything that was in my head, I told her how it turned me on to think of her fucking another guy and to think of him filling her pussy. I told her how it turned me on to think about her excitement rising when she'd find a new lover and I came out and told her that I was incredibly turned on to think about when she'll come to me and tell me she wants to go bare with him - and what I said that I think meant something to her was what I think I'd posted here - that as I see her excitement rising that I would WANT to start using condoms with her. She asked me what I meant by that. I told her that it turned me on to think of her getting to the point where she'd want more with her boyfriend and that I would want that for her. Wow did she smile at that and even more when I told her - while frantically stroking my cock - that I actually want the day to come when she'll tell me that and I told her that I understood what she was saying about me "being ready" for it when that time came. However what really made her gently moan in response was when I told her I would want to use condoms and that in some ways, I was eagerly anticipating that day and wanting it to get here.

She was talking with me also openly and she shared that she missed feeling another man fucking her and that she missed the excitement and thrill of having a lover. She made no bones about telling me that she loved the thought of her enjoying sex with him and was thrilled at the thought of feeling those same desires that I'd told her excited me. She said she loved hearing me tell her that it also excited me and that she loved hearing how suppportive I will be.

I was getting closer and closer to exploding and at her encouragement "what else baby....". I totally opened up at that point and I told her what I'd said already (but I must have sounded in-sincere back then) - that I loved thinking about the time when she'd come to me and tell me she's ready to just be with her lover and that she wanted me to use condoms again. I told her that I loved thinking about us making a bit of a ceremony about it and her playing it up. She moaned like crazy as I told her that and she could obviously see that the thoughts were really turning me on as I could feel pre-cum oozing out of my swollen cock. She told me how sexy it was that I would feel this way and how wonderful it made her feel. I told her again how it turned me on to think of her being so into sex with her boyfriend and I told her - "and you starting to deny me more". She really responded when I told her that it also turned me on to think about her getting more and more into her boyfriend and I really started to moan as I told her that I often thought about her only having sex with her boyfriend and how much it turned me on to think about. I told her again that her wearing panties really made me think about only her lover fucking her and how that sometimes I would masturbate thinking that her pussy is full of his cum and hidden beneath her panties. But it was when I told her that I loved the thought of her coming to me and telling me that she wants "more" with her lover and wants to be exclusive with him sexually - I was soooo close to cumming. Hearing her moan and tell me "I love you baby, I love you so much" at what I'd said that I just exploded all over my stomach and chest. As I let go I felt her firmly grasp my arm and I swear she came herself just from what I'd/we'd said (I know I did).

When I caught my breath and looked over at her I saw her smiling broadly and when she saw me looking at her she told me how beautiful it was to watch me cum and how much she appreciated me "finally" opening up to her. She kissed me and again promised me that she loved me and that she'd never do anything to hurt me and then added that she loved that I would really be turned on by all of this. I knew right then that I think I'd finally reached her, and also that I'd maybe reached my own acceptance too. She started to play with my cum and told me how turned on and erotic it was that I'd cum from thinking about her and her boyfriend and that she loved that it made me feel so good to think about. As she brought her first finger-full of cum to my lips she smiled and giggled and said something like "oh god, it turns me on that this will be what we'll share more of then" and I knew what she meant by that....

So - have I/we finally taken the big step? I think maybe so.... This morning Sue kissed me deeply and said "tomorrow night I'll take these off again baby" and I guess that may be my reward for my openness and her acceptance of my sincerity and honesty.

 

[Harry2614]

I have intended not to get involved in this site to the extent I have, but I see something here that makes me want express some thoughts.

"...Hearing her moan and tell me "I love you baby, I love you so much" at what I'd said, that I just exploded all over my stomach and chest. As I let go I felt her firmly grasp my arm and I swear she came herself just from what I'd/we'd said (I know I did).

When I caught my breath and looked over at her I saw her smiling broadly and when she saw me looking at her she told me how beautiful it was to watch me cum and how much she appreciated me "finally" opening up to her. She kissed me and again promised me that she loved me and that she'd never do anything to hurt me and then added that she loved that I would really be turned on by all of this. I knew right then that I think I'd finally reached her, and also that I'd maybe reached my own acceptance too...."

To your benefit, Steve, Sue does love you enough to 'treat you kindly' (unlike other stories we find on the site). That to me is obvious!

Virtually, that is the best assurance that your life won't become a nightmare when she chooses another 'Lover'.

Sue has been thankful to you, first for allowing, and then encouraging her extramarital affairs. Now that she has taken 'control. you have to continue to trust & support her, so that she will continue to be kind and loving to you.

The choice is now her's in whom she picks. (A dominant Alpha could make your life life hell). But is that what Sue really wants?
She is searching for 'Romance' and 'sex' from a different man. A 'romantic man' can be kind and loving, but not be a cruel Alpha. (Consider Brad)

Sue is enjoying her control & power. Could that carry over to her choice of a man. ? I tend to think it will.

Perhaps in your discussions regarding your 'concerns', you could express yourself in this matter.

Cheers, Harry

 

[SoonToBe]

Harry - interesting question... Other than the generic description of her hopeful next boyfriend (good looking and well-endowed), we haven't spoken much about specifics either in terms of looks or behavior/attitude. I know she's that she's talked about someone perhaps a bit more assertive as she still feels that is who she would feel she'd respond best to but we haven't talked about specifics or any of my concerns. Still, I think she has enough wherewithall to be aware of herself and what is going on should things go in a direction she (or I) isn't comfortable with.

I have to say that it does feel better and definitely different to have things more clearly out in the open. I admit I did feel a little bit of shame or embarassment before we fell asleep and again this morning but it was all in my head as Sue behaved and treated me no differently - so maybe to Will's statement of me over-thinking things, maybe I have been. After all, for as much as this seems to consume me at times, the reality is it is just sex we're talking about.

Thinking back to last night, I did tell her some of my most intense thoughts. Sometimes it's graphic - cum dribbling down her thigh. But more often than not it's just the opposite - indeed some of the most intense orgasms I've had while masturbating have been thinking of the "ceremony" that I hope we can enjoy together. I can't explain it but just thinking about it is something that just sets me off. Weird, I know. But as Will says, I should just accept it and stop worrying. As long as I feel the connection I feel with Sue right now, I think he may be right.

 

[Will2112001]

Steve I really feel Your on a good road. I told You "The Truth Will Set You Free" And if Your honest with Yourself, Hasn't It. No Hiding Sue fueling Your desires. Nothing to hide. Steve Your a Cuckold and a Beta. (You know I don't judge You) Life is too short to live a Lie.

 

[SoonToBe]

Yeah, having now said it pretty clearly to Sue, I suppose it is the truth.

I think what is getting me now is why I seemed to almost refuse to accept all of this earlier when I look back and can see so many signs now so clearly. I guess maybe it's like she's said now many times - that when it's time for it to happen, that it'll be something I'm ready for. I have re-read many things that I've experienced and I guess the one thing that I can clearly see is that I never resisted or said no to anything she wanted - from overnights to going away.

Reading back to what I posted earlier - I think I may have understated Sue's desire in general and her interest in another hookup with Tony. The way I left it, it sounds like it's still a question but I have no doubt that she will have another roll in the hay with him.

It's kind of weird in my head right now, in a way I think I've been resisting these feelings and as a part of it, I've also been reluctant to ask Sue to share what she's done with me in more detail. But now and after last night, a part of me would love to hear her tell me exactly how she feels getting naked for Tony. It seems like, at least for right now, I'm much more aware of the thoughts in my head about this sort of stuff and the arousal they bring me.

 

[Will2112001]

It's kind of weird in my head right now, in a way I think I've been resisting these feelings and as a part of it, I've also been reluctant to ask Sue to share what she's done with me in more detail. But now and after last night, a part of me would love to hear her tell me exactly how she feels getting naked for Tony. It seems like, at least for right now, I'm much more aware of the thoughts in my head about this sort of stuff and the arousal they bring me.

Steve don't worry about how You here. The important thing is. Your Here Now.

 

[Will2112001]

Steve meant to put GOT Here . That's what happens when You do more than one thing at a time.

 

[Jaxunman]

It's kind of weird in my head right now, in a way I think I've been resisting these feelings and as a part of it, I've also been reluctant to ask Sue to share what she's done with me in more detail. But now and after last night, a part of me would love to hear her tell me exactly how she feels getting naked for Tony. It seems like, at least for right now, I'm much more aware of the thoughts in my head about this sort of stuff and the arousal they bring me.

Steve, so glad to hear you, or at least a part of you, expressing an interest in the details of what Sue is feeling while she is with others. She has revealed to you some of her more intimate feelings while other men have taken her bare and what that means to her at the moment of orgasm. You seemed to not only enjoy hearing her thoughts, but learned from her as well. It seemed that when you first began using condoms with Sue, your predominant thinking was what you were giving up and missing. Since you have opened up, so has Sue, and she has revealed the details from her side. From those details, you now know the whole picture. You know exactly what Sue feels and wants from her lover by going bare, and what she wants to reserve for him by you wearing condoms.

I can see nothing but greater things ahead with the extremely open communication you two have going. By getting more detailed with Sue, you may find even more of what you are wanting and needing has already been happening, but just never talked about.

 

[sptbj2]

Steve, after reading through the last couple of weeks' posts a few things come to mind. The story of how you and Sue came to this point is very beautiful. Often we men think with our "other head." I'm often aroused by your posts, but the posts about your discussions with Sue are even more arousing than your descriptions of your various sexual activities. Women seem to enjoy the mental aspects of sex, including dominance and submission.

In many ways, I think that your actions over the years and especially recently are relationship affirming for Sue. You have placed your heart in her hands. I would think that any woman would envy the level of trust you place in Sue. To love her and trust her enough to not only condone, but enjoy her sexual activities and relationships with other men is very giving. In my opinion she will never betray that trust. She can have her cake and eat it too!

Your willingness to surrender control to Sue communicates your trust. Actions are louder than words. Sue loves that you trust her so much that you are willing to surrender control of your very manhood, your essence as a male. Your willingness to do so both requires and implies a high level of trust.

Selfishly, from the beginning of your story I hoped that Sue would gradually exert more control over your sex life and that you would become willing to surrender more control to her. To be able to experience your journey in real time has been exhilarating. I felt early on that embarking on this journey together would enhance your lives and bring you both closer together. Yes, I always saw the warning signs and heard the cautious voices along the way, but I hoped for (and expected) the best.

Of course, by submitting to Sue's carnal desires and lust for her boyfriends, you have benefited too. Your sex life is envied by many here. To some extent every submissive craves at least some level of humiliation. The trouble is we don't know where or when the line of heartbreak and real humiliation will be crossed. Being on the receiving end of humiliation is perhaps the most intense form of submission. I admire Sue for understanding your desires and her willingness to fulfill your desires while maintaining open communication and getting feedback from you about what you want.

In the future, I see an even deeper relationship between you and Sue as each of you work through your inhibitions, embrace your desires and become the sexual beings that you were always destined to become. Enjoy and, always, thanks for sharing!

 

[SoonToBe]

Thanks Sptbj - I appreciate your comments. I wish I had more time right now but I'd wanted to find time to post an update yesterday but never had enough time.

I don't know what thoughts to get out first, there are still so many after Friday night. It started when I got home from work and Sue was very friendly and very loving. I looked around the house and she smiled and said that our daughter had taken the car and was spending the night at a girlfriends house and that our son wasn't coming home until Saturday evening. There was something about her that just looked so sexy, she had on this short skirt and a snug fitting top that really made her look hot. Plus, I was quite horny and to be honest, I was hoping she'd keep her word and let me undress her fully.

We drank some wine before, during and after dinner and then went up to the bedroom. She was really playful and all. But what really turned me on was when she got up from lying next to me and as she stood there she did this really sexy striptease and got down to just her bra and panties. I could see she was as horny as I was. I was really horny from watching her and then she leaned over and unclipped her bra and I just loved seeing her tits come out into view. I reached for them but she moved back and smiled at me and then walked up closer to the edge of the bed and she said "you can take them off me".

I swear I was almost shaking from being so horny. Her skin felt so warm as I slid them down. It felt like slow motion and I know my cock throbbed as she stepped slightly apart to let me pull them down. She'd trimmed her pubes way short on the sides but left a little more on top and all I could do was stare at how swollen her pussy lips looked and how I swore that they were even glistening. I pulled her down onto the bed next to me and lay against her as we started to kiss and when I reached down to feel her pussy, she moaned and gently spread her legs apart and let me feel just how wet she was.
We kissed and I started to play with her pussy and she held my cock. I looked down and loved seeing her legs spread and when I moved up on my elbow, I loved seeing how wet and open she was. I so wanted to fuck her but at the same time, I loved finally seeing her again and seeing my fingers push in and out of her pussy while I heard her moan as we'd kiss. I was getting really hard and was ready to fuck her when she turned to me and said she wanted to ask me something. At that moment I was agreeable to anything and was loving finally seeing her naked body again that I was just enjoying the moment.

And then she said, or rather, asked me. She asked me if I'd like to maybe help her get ready for when she's going to meet Tony. Holy crap. Granted we were both a bit buzzed and she had a giggle to her voice as she asked it, but she asked it and she could tell from how I was staring at her and had apparently stopped moving my fingers that I'd heard her. She smiled and said something like "come on baby, wouldn't you like to help me get ready to go out". I was still silent - it was partly surprise but my god, it was a huge turn on as she said more, that "you know, maybe you can help me pick out what to wear, that sort of thing?" with a little question in her voice. I know I'd hoped she'd start to tell me more in the future but this, this was a surprise and not something I'd expected to hear from her. Despite the surprise, my cock was rock hard at the thoughts her question put into my head.

I swallowed and I focused. My first instinct was to shy away from answering her directly. But then, in that instance I know I sort of said to myself "I should answer her" and so I did. I told her that idea made me horny to think about and that I would try to help her. She said stuff about how fun it'll be and asked whether the idea turned me on. I moaned back that I was a little surprised but she could tell my answer from how I guess I sounded as I answered her, horny. We kissed and this time when I put my fingers back in her, she was really wet and a minute later I remember hunching down between her spread legs and feeling her hands on my head guide me to just where she wanted me to lick her.

I was getting really frantic but at the same time, my god, she just tasted and felt soooo good that I really got into it. Her hands kept guiding me until she stopped and I knew that's when she was close. My brain was filled with so many thoughts from what she'd said and now, to be feeling and tasting just how aroused she was - it was so intense when she finally came with me licking and fingering her. I kept gently licking her until she literally pulled my head up and said it was my turn now. I wiped some spit on my hard cock and rubbed it up and down against her pussy lips but I couldn't wait much longer and instead, I started to push into her.

Seeing her finally naked beneath me made me so horny that I was soon really into fucking her. Her question to me had triggered all sorts of thoughts including her lying like this for Tony with his face and then HIS cock buried in her. And I'll admit that seeing her bra and panties lying on the floor next to the bed tweaked a thought in my head about me having maybe picked them out. I know I was getting really into it, no doubt she came at least once more beneath me before I was close to. Her gentle teasing about Tony really pushed me to the edge and I told her so. I kept it up and was loving how she felt. I know I had a fleeting thought then and am reminded of it now that at one point I was distinctly marveling at how her pussy felt as I slid in and out of her effortlessly and heard gentle moans from her. But eventually, no matter how much I tried to hold off, in the end she screamed out when I took my final plunge into her and I started to spew. She moaned at how warm she felt all over as I stayed buried deep in her pussy as we rocked back and forth a bit.

When we both caught our breath she rolled towards me and gently kissed me and asked me if I remembered what she'd asked me earlier. I laughed at her and said something like "yeah, you asked if I'd help you get ready". In a soft voice she asked "will you?". When I said "...yes" she kissed me again and said that she loved me and again that I should feel like I can tell her anything and that she loved hearing my thoughts and such. It felt good to hear that. She smiled at me and said something about it being something fun for me to do with her. I told her that is what I was starting to get more used to, sharing with her and having fun.

I'd thought we might have a bit more fun last night but that wasn't to be when our son came home and quickly monopolized the rest of our evening.

 

[peakmb]

Wow, a great night for you on Friday but your narrative gave me a shock part way through. There was Sue, naked and wet and asks, ' will you get me dressed for Tony?' It read as if it was that night to me! What a cucky blow that would have been. I read on and all was revealed. I suspect Tony's night will be a little more memorable than his last time though. Have fun planning.

 

[far2easy]

it looks like she is getting some great advice from her penpal that is sparking a fire in both of you. It appears that she is also beginning to prepare you for those days to come when she starts incorporating your love for each other outside of penetrative sex. Great idea for both of you! Crazy hot STB!

 

[SoonToBe]

Peak - yeah, I can see that I may have not conveyed that as well as I could have. I can see how that could have sounded pretty crazy from how I wrote it if you didn't know better! That would have been really crazy had she actually said that.

To be honest, the whole impact of what she said was kind of muted to me at least because after the wine and such, I was really into finally seeing her naked and was kind of taken with her having trimmed her pubes too. And I have to say that a fantasy thought went through my head was that she'd done that for a lover and that this was the first I was seeing it. So, when she asked me about helping her get ready to see Tony or whoever, it didn't hit me fully at first.

She's gone back to going panty-less around me since Friday. Just this morning when she came out of the shower she stood in front of the mirror with just a towel around her head as she started to get ready for work. She looked up and smiled at me in the mirror when she saw me staring at her. There was no doubt that she knew how horny I was when she let me take them off her on Friday. Wow, I loved that moment.

After our son left to head back to school later last night Sue said she wanted to talk a little more. I was hoping for a quickie but also understood that we were tired from the day - having gone over her parents house for Easter and then visited her sister (and our nephew Bill was there again too). She asked me what I thought about her idea from Friday night and how I felt about it. It was surprisingly easy to talk about. Maybe its in my head, or maybe its in her voice, but she sounded comforting and concerned in a good way about how I felt about it. I told her (again) that I'd hoped she'd feel more comfortable sharing more details with me. And as we talked she admitted that Robert and I being separate did make her feel awkward in that aspect, that without my knowing him, that she felt a bit inhibited telling me about their time together and she admitted that she'd like to make that something we do more of - it was the way she said it though, "oh baby, I'm sorry, you really should be more involved" with this concerned sincerity that, I think made it easier for me to talk to her as we were lying in bed about 10pm last night.

I told her that I'd love to be more involved with anything she was doing and I reminded her that I'd done some of this before. She smiled and said she did remember but wanted to be sure that this was something that I'd enjoy doing with her now and how I'd feel about it as time progressed with her boyfriend. I looked at her and I told her that I thought it'd be exciting to do it and I told her that it'd be fun as something that we could do together. Like I said, it was very easy talking to her and her answering was just as easy. She shared that with what I'd been telling her more recently, that she was thinking this might be something fun for me and as she giggled a little she said teasingly that it'd only add to the fun when she'd tell me what they'd done together. And she teased me a bit more and said "it'll probably get you horny all day thinking about it" and added that it'd be fun for when it's my turn to undress her! When I agreed with her she pulled me towards her and told me yet again that she loved me and that she wanted to be able to share all of this with me and to know that it's really what I want.

We talked a bit more and she again told me how great it was making her feel about everything that she felt that I was really okay with everything and that she loved that I could talk to her without feeling the awkwardness she used to feel from me. I told her it turned me on to think of her and her future boyfriend and that I too liked the feeling of openness and honesty I felt from her - I told her it gave me a good feeling and that it made me trust her more. She rolled towards me and we kissed more and as we did I ran my hands up and down her body. When I didn't feel any panties beneath her long-t-shirt I started to pull it up and she looked at me and said "want a quickie?". When I nodded yes she moaned and kissed me deeply as she pushed the covers off of us and in one motion, my boxers came off and her night-shirt was pushed up. An instant later I was buried in her to the hilt and it was obvious she was horny too. Neither of us lasted long but it was intense for both, I felt her shudder and cum beneath me just moments before I plunged into her and came myself. As I blasted into her I looked down at her and as she felt me cumming in her, her eyes fluttered back in her head and she moaned as she slipped into her own second orgasm that quickly swept over her body.

As we both caught our breath, I didn't but I should have told her that again I had the overwhelming desire to see her enjoy that second-orgasm wash over her with her lover. We lay there together kissing and holding each other. When I slipped out of her she reached for a tissue to clean up a little bit and as she did so, the turned to me and said that she thought maybe this Thursday after work that she'd "seduce Tony again". It was my turn to laugh at her and I told her that I doubted it'd be much effort. She giggled and then looked at me with a slightly more serious look and said "so Thursday morning you'll help me?". I don't know if she did it on purpose or if she even realized it, but it was very arousing hearing her tell me about seducing Tony as she blotted and wiped at my cum leaking out of her pussy.

Peak - not sure if it's her pen-pal or her own mind that's brought this new idea out in her. I guess if I want to truly be her beta, that this is something I should be a part of so that'll be exciting for sure.

I'd like to continue putting my thoughts to words but work is calling me yet again.

 

[pspj1212]

I wonder what you will get to experience after she comes home from Tony this time.

 

[SoonToBe]

PSP - not sure. In thinking further on what we've been talking about, I think I never brought it up - picking stuff out for her to wear - because, I'm thinking that I didn't know if that was something she wanted me to be involved with or not. But now after talking about it, it seems almost obvious that this could/should be something we do more of together. I think I was maybe too reluctant to be so up front about it - but I also wonder if maybe she didn't do it because maybe she wasn't sure of how I'd respond or that sort of thing. Looking back, I guess I may have been a bit wavy on my responses, being so encouraging and permissive at some points and at others, sticking to my image as opposed to maybe accepting what I'd been unable to or unwilling to.

I admit that I've even wondered what may have happened had we been where we are now when she met Don. The thought is at once frightening as it is arousing. I wonder if she would have given into his desires. I wonder if he would have treated her like the other similar women he'd dated where he'd eventually tire of them (or they of him).

But as always, the thing I feel even more strongly about now than ever is that I really want this to be what she wants. I want it to be when she wants, who she wants and how she wants it. I think she may have been reluctant herself when it came to her relationship with Robert and may have been similar to me, not having accepted things.

Ahh gotta run again.