I was a bit rushed yesterday and tired from all the driving. Being away made it a little easier to talk too, we'd started some playful banter just after we left our daughter with her cousin, Sue and I joked about our own fun times in the college dorms which sort of broke the ice. I told her that I'd remembered what she'd told me and she smiled until I reminded her that I also remembered about Greg (I thought that was his name), her boyfriend in college who had the long-skinny cock and was the only guy she enjoyed anal sex with. She turned red when I mentioned that, but fair was fair....
I can't say I'm totally comfortable with all of this, but she is right, that talking about it more openly and outside the moments when we're in bed having sex together seems to be easing whatever concerns she seems to be having and I guess, I am a bit apprehensive and reluctant about it. I looked back at some of my recent posts and while most are positive, even I know that no matter how much I want this to happen, that there is definitely a part of me that has my own concerns. I guess I put up a good front. The thing is, I know it's not that I'm scared or worried about losing Sue. I actually feel good about that - especially in the way she is encouraging me and not judging me.
What I feel is that Sue wants me to tell her the "how I feel" part more than she specifically wants to hear all of the sordid details about the things in my head. She seems to be most comfortable when I tell her what's in my head and what things mean to me rather than specifics of what position or that sort of thing about her. And that's where I guess she's right, it has felt good to share with her some of how I feel and I hope that continues. I know that I've always (almost always) been able to tell her that "watching this" or "doing that" turned me on. She knows that it turns me on to know she's had sex with another guy, what she wants to hear is what about it turns me on, what thoughts do I have that turn me on.
For her side, she's told me that she loves that I can share this with her as she feels it is something significant for us and something that she says makes her understand and believe that this is truly what I want to feel. I've told her about my concerns and she's said that she can understand them, especially when I've shared more of my feelings. When I told her how it made me feel so aroused to think about her feeling her lover deep inside her as he brings her to orgasm (told her that last night even though we weren't having sex) she looked at me and said she loved me in such a sensitive and deep way, it just made me feel good about it. I told her that I loved knowing another guy would feel what I do - that I can feel all of her through my cock deep in her and how it turned me on to think of her sharing that moment with her lover.
Last night she explained a little more about what she wants to feel from me - what she's looking for. She looked at me and told me that in the past, whenever she's shared some of these types of thoughts with me - how she feels or what she wants to feel - that I have almost always responded in such a way that she knew that I wanted what was happening. She says that it's given her a lot of confidence knowing how I feel. What she said, in her own round-about-way was that she wants me to feel the same. That she wants me to feel that she knows what I'm saying and thinking and that she would like me to have that same feeling of being able to tell her anything and everything and to know that she is okay with it. Convoluted thinking for sure, but I guess it's her way of explaining more of what she wants to have between us.
Far2 - you use the word "soon" in your description of things progressing between us but I don't get that feeling, at least not just yet from Sue. Had she already met or had someone in mind, the word "sooner" might be applicable, but at this time - and maybe that's also at play in making this easier to talk about as it's all in the abstract and not happening - but it's still months away at best before she, by her own admission and her own desires, thinks anything will happen in terms of her wanting that sort of closeness with another guy.
You mentioned being a part of their love making - Sue's already said that she missed that at times when she was with Robert (maybe not towards the end) and has said that she would want me to be able to be with them at times. I told her that I did miss it. We didn't talk about it but the implications are obvious depending on where they are in their relationship would influence what I did /didn't do with them. But other than enjoying watching me masturbate on Wednesdays, she has no interest in "controlling my orgasms". My thoughts about this are that this is for her, the only comments she's really made about it is what she'd said last Wednesday that's stuck in my head - that she teased me that "this may be all you have for a while baby, how are you going to feel about that" referring to me masturbating. Again she wanted to know how it will make me feel and I told her that I knew I'll miss feeling her but that in many ways, thinking that only me cum more when I jerk off. The point being that her response was more like "that's good baby, you'll need that at times".
I know that it's all easy to talk about, especially right now when we are still having full-on sex and she's still going to bed filled with my cum. As I said above and that we've talked together, that this is more fantasy and Penthouse Stories right now between us, but she is very quick to tell me that I need to be sure about this too.
I can't say I'm totally comfortable with all of this, but she is right, that talking about it more openly and outside the moments when we're in bed having sex together seems to be easing whatever concerns she seems to be having and I guess, I am a bit apprehensive and reluctant about it. I looked back at some of my recent posts and while most are positive, even I know that no matter how much I want this to happen, that there is definitely a part of me that has my own concerns. I guess I put up a good front. The thing is, I know it's not that I'm scared or worried about losing Sue. I actually feel good about that - especially in the way she is encouraging me and not judging me.
What I feel is that Sue wants me to tell her the "how I feel" part more than she specifically wants to hear all of the sordid details about the things in my head. She seems to be most comfortable when I tell her what's in my head and what things mean to me rather than specifics of what position or that sort of thing about her. And that's where I guess she's right, it has felt good to share with her some of how I feel and I hope that continues. I know that I've always (almost always) been able to tell her that "watching this" or "doing that" turned me on. She knows that it turns me on to know she's had sex with another guy, what she wants to hear is what about it turns me on, what thoughts do I have that turn me on.
For her side, she's told me that she loves that I can share this with her as she feels it is something significant for us and something that she says makes her understand and believe that this is truly what I want to feel. I've told her about my concerns and she's said that she can understand them, especially when I've shared more of my feelings. When I told her how it made me feel so aroused to think about her feeling her lover deep inside her as he brings her to orgasm (told her that last night even though we weren't having sex) she looked at me and said she loved me in such a sensitive and deep way, it just made me feel good about it. I told her that I loved knowing another guy would feel what I do - that I can feel all of her through my cock deep in her and how it turned me on to think of her sharing that moment with her lover.
Last night she explained a little more about what she wants to feel from me - what she's looking for. She looked at me and told me that in the past, whenever she's shared some of these types of thoughts with me - how she feels or what she wants to feel - that I have almost always responded in such a way that she knew that I wanted what was happening. She says that it's given her a lot of confidence knowing how I feel. What she said, in her own round-about-way was that she wants me to feel the same. That she wants me to feel that she knows what I'm saying and thinking and that she would like me to have that same feeling of being able to tell her anything and everything and to know that she is okay with it. Convoluted thinking for sure, but I guess it's her way of explaining more of what she wants to have between us.
Far2 - you use the word "soon" in your description of things progressing between us but I don't get that feeling, at least not just yet from Sue. Had she already met or had someone in mind, the word "sooner" might be applicable, but at this time - and maybe that's also at play in making this easier to talk about as it's all in the abstract and not happening - but it's still months away at best before she, by her own admission and her own desires, thinks anything will happen in terms of her wanting that sort of closeness with another guy.
You mentioned being a part of their love making - Sue's already said that she missed that at times when she was with Robert (maybe not towards the end) and has said that she would want me to be able to be with them at times. I told her that I did miss it. We didn't talk about it but the implications are obvious depending on where they are in their relationship would influence what I did /didn't do with them. But other than enjoying watching me masturbate on Wednesdays, she has no interest in "controlling my orgasms". My thoughts about this are that this is for her, the only comments she's really made about it is what she'd said last Wednesday that's stuck in my head - that she teased me that "this may be all you have for a while baby, how are you going to feel about that" referring to me masturbating. Again she wanted to know how it will make me feel and I told her that I knew I'll miss feeling her but that in many ways, thinking that only me cum more when I jerk off. The point being that her response was more like "that's good baby, you'll need that at times".
I know that it's all easy to talk about, especially right now when we are still having full-on sex and she's still going to bed filled with my cum. As I said above and that we've talked together, that this is more fantasy and Penthouse Stories right now between us, but she is very quick to tell me that I need to be sure about this too.