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Thoughts/plans for 2014
- Thread starterSoonToBe
- Start date
- Status
Will - yeah, I know, I was pretty open and honest with her. But I will also say that outside the light in the bedroom, I'm sometimes reluctant to accept what I said to her. I mean in my heart I do want her to have all the experience she wants to, and I've been pretty clear about how I was surprised at how I felt using condoms with her. I know what she said to me, that she can't feel as much as I thought she could when I use them, is something that maybe she said because it's real and it also could be something she said to push me a bit, I do want to talk to her more about that and I suspect that Wednesday night will be when we are both in the mood to do so.
I wanted to say all that to her because after the time I've now spent as the alpha-male for her again, that I guess part of me wanted her to know that I do still want to return to being the beta. Even after she told me all that she did, I cannot lie, it all turned me on. I think what maybe I'm feeling and is also something I will have to talk with her about is, I guess, that I'm a little scared to go down this road. I told her some of my fears and concerns and she gave me her assurances and that is all good for now, but for as sure as I am about what I seem to need to feel, I think I"m equally scared to let it happen. I know she'll be supportive and I guess what I'm hoping for is to make my concerns as clear to her as I can right now so that when/if it does start to happen, that she'll remember what I've said.
Even though Spring is right around the corner, even last night Sue said she might still want to "get one more weekend". It's funny because the thought that went through my mind was, yeah, she's into skiing - but also that she wants another night like Saturday night. There was just something about the way she said it.
Sometimes I read back on what I've said and done and afterwards, in the cold light of day as opposed to the sweaty-post-sex bedroom, sometimes I think I open up too much and share too much - it is a huge turn-on to me in the short run as I so enjoyed masturbating while we talked and the intense orgasm that totally drained me - but sometimes I look back afterwards, like today and yesterday, and I wonder if maybe I shared too much of the "fantasy" part of whats in my head.
What I can really say is that I do miss her having a lover. I know that it should make me feel one way - that we're essentially back to being a monogamous couple - and that should (and is) satisfying to me. But I will also say here just as I did tell her, I do miss knowing another guy is fucking her. I don't know why but even when we were having awesome sex this past Saturday night in the hotel room, that I missed just the knowledge much less actually feeling it, that she's fucking another guy. I miss how her pussy would feel a bit looser and more open and definitely more wet and responsive. I think that may be part of why I'd always liked fucking her like we did on Saturday where I'd ride her for a long time until I finally felt the need building to cum in her - the thought I just had was that maybe I'd been subconsciously trying to loosen/open her up a bit all along - she surely knows that I love fucking her like that.
GTR
I wanted to say all that to her because after the time I've now spent as the alpha-male for her again, that I guess part of me wanted her to know that I do still want to return to being the beta. Even after she told me all that she did, I cannot lie, it all turned me on. I think what maybe I'm feeling and is also something I will have to talk with her about is, I guess, that I'm a little scared to go down this road. I told her some of my fears and concerns and she gave me her assurances and that is all good for now, but for as sure as I am about what I seem to need to feel, I think I"m equally scared to let it happen. I know she'll be supportive and I guess what I'm hoping for is to make my concerns as clear to her as I can right now so that when/if it does start to happen, that she'll remember what I've said.
Even though Spring is right around the corner, even last night Sue said she might still want to "get one more weekend". It's funny because the thought that went through my mind was, yeah, she's into skiing - but also that she wants another night like Saturday night. There was just something about the way she said it.
Sometimes I read back on what I've said and done and afterwards, in the cold light of day as opposed to the sweaty-post-sex bedroom, sometimes I think I open up too much and share too much - it is a huge turn-on to me in the short run as I so enjoyed masturbating while we talked and the intense orgasm that totally drained me - but sometimes I look back afterwards, like today and yesterday, and I wonder if maybe I shared too much of the "fantasy" part of whats in my head.
What I can really say is that I do miss her having a lover. I know that it should make me feel one way - that we're essentially back to being a monogamous couple - and that should (and is) satisfying to me. But I will also say here just as I did tell her, I do miss knowing another guy is fucking her. I don't know why but even when we were having awesome sex this past Saturday night in the hotel room, that I missed just the knowledge much less actually feeling it, that she's fucking another guy. I miss how her pussy would feel a bit looser and more open and definitely more wet and responsive. I think that may be part of why I'd always liked fucking her like we did on Saturday where I'd ride her for a long time until I finally felt the need building to cum in her - the thought I just had was that maybe I'd been subconsciously trying to loosen/open her up a bit all along - she surely knows that I love fucking her like that.
GTR
GTR[/QUOTE]
You think Your the first Guy to second guess themselves in the morning? Steve this is a Big Step For You. I have followed You for about 2 years. You have reached this point Kicking and Screaming. I remember when You would not even think about being an Beta when I brought it up to You. Steve You have certain needs. Your lucky, Your married to a woman who will forfill those needs. How many Men here have Wives who will not even talk about this Subject??? Let alone do Sue does for You? You have been with Sue for a long time. Somehow at this point in Your lives. I don't think Sue Is going to Use Your Words Wants and Desires to Hurt and betray You.
You think Your the first Guy to second guess themselves in the morning? Steve this is a Big Step For You. I have followed You for about 2 years. You have reached this point Kicking and Screaming. I remember when You would not even think about being an Beta when I brought it up to You. Steve You have certain needs. Your lucky, Your married to a woman who will forfill those needs. How many Men here have Wives who will not even talk about this Subject??? Let alone do Sue does for You? You have been with Sue for a long time. Somehow at this point in Your lives. I don't think Sue Is going to Use Your Words Wants and Desires to Hurt and betray You.
GTR[/QUOTE]
You think Your the first Guy to second guess themselves in the morning? Steve this is a Big Step For You. I have followed You for about 2 years. You have reached this point Kicking and Screaming. I remember when You would not even think about being an Beta when I brought it up to You. Steve You have certain needs. Your lucky, Your married to a woman who will forfill those needs. How many Men here have Wives who will not even talk about this Subject??? Let alone do Sue does for You? You have been with Sue for a long time. Somehow at this point in Your lives. I don't think Sue Is going to Use Your Words Wants and Desires to Hurt and betray You.
You think Your the first Guy to second guess themselves in the morning? Steve this is a Big Step For You. I have followed You for about 2 years. You have reached this point Kicking and Screaming. I remember when You would not even think about being an Beta when I brought it up to You. Steve You have certain needs. Your lucky, Your married to a woman who will forfill those needs. How many Men here have Wives who will not even talk about this Subject??? Let alone do Sue does for You? You have been with Sue for a long time. Somehow at this point in Your lives. I don't think Sue Is going to Use Your Words Wants and Desires to Hurt and betray You.
Steve,
You know yourself that you tend to over bid in these sessions. We know you do after all this time. It shouldn't surprise you to find that Sue knows too. She has tried total denial before and stopped it fairly quickly. Unless she has a lover that is almost living in she ends up denying herself during a period she is most horn. Not the win win that condom use gives her so that is far more likely. Mind, there are bulky condoms that give her more sensation and you less! The period between re connections could also be stretched a bit more. Sue has her ways of grabbing your excitement and expanding it more each time. I think if she really finds someone to fall for she might just go for playing more with your head than other parts. I don't think there is any chance she will stop loving you though. Or you her by her actions. Where else are either of you going to find that special set of combinations that you each have. Unlikely.
You know yourself that you tend to over bid in these sessions. We know you do after all this time. It shouldn't surprise you to find that Sue knows too. She has tried total denial before and stopped it fairly quickly. Unless she has a lover that is almost living in she ends up denying herself during a period she is most horn. Not the win win that condom use gives her so that is far more likely. Mind, there are bulky condoms that give her more sensation and you less! The period between re connections could also be stretched a bit more. Sue has her ways of grabbing your excitement and expanding it more each time. I think if she really finds someone to fall for she might just go for playing more with your head than other parts. I don't think there is any chance she will stop loving you though. Or you her by her actions. Where else are either of you going to find that special set of combinations that you each have. Unlikely.
Will, I guess what you're saying is true. I find myself sometimes wondering whether I was in denial earlier. As I said, it even surprises me at how I felt when I used condoms with Sue, it just felt like it was what I'd been looking for and wanted to feel. In some ways, thinking back to when we first started dating I had a crazy thought that even back then, I may have enjoyed her asking me to use condoms while she was still seeing the other guys. I sometimes do think "is this what I've been wanting all along". As I posted, the thought of full denial of her is scary for me. I know many here can't see any excitement or arousal in that for them, for me, if it does happen, as I've said - I see it as something that'll (hopefully) be short lived but quite intense for me to know.
My last thoughts seem to somewhat align with the thoughts from Peak regarding full denial. I see that as perhaps the ultimate play-out of this whole thing between us and in some ways, the idea sits atop a pedestal waiting for the right circumstances. And I guess it'll take the right circumstances as well as the right person to take it from there and make it real. Now, a few days after her saying it to me (several times) I can see what she means that by the time we get to that point where that becomes something she/we would consider, that so many of the prerequisites would already be fulfilled that it probably won't be the earth-shaking discussion, but more like "yeah, I expected it". And it's weird to say it, but I think I'll enjoy seeing this develop and seeing her desires rise.
Even now, I can say here and I've even told her, she needs a lover. I still think it's somewhat circumstantial as our daughter is still home and we are very still mom/dad - but she needs a lover who can take her away from that and remind her of the pleasure she's felt in the past. I do think that come next fall, that once our home can return to being "ours" - that her desire for other men may decrease - and maybe we'll find an equilibrium at that time that will be different from now. But for right now, I admit it that I guess I don't give her everything she needs sexually - more because it's in her mind than in my cock (so to speak) but I guess it still is a need of hers that's grown over time (back to where it was?). I have talked about the lightness in her step and the way her eyes and her body looked when she was seeing Robert regularly - and I can now see that they are gone or reduced. Not that she's not happy or horny right now - quite the opposite - but I'm not sure if even she realizes what having a lover did for her. A crazy thought I also have is whether some of that was because she was having Robert bare for so long and whether some of her disposition was chemically oriented (I admit that's somewhat of a turn on).
I am comforted that Peak, you can understand how I feel about things between us, that going down this road may be scary and exciting, but I also don't feel the same sense of foreboding or fear for our relationship. If anything these past few months have been very revealing and have only reinforced my belief that we love each other in ways that are far beyond what she may do with other guys.
Let me run, sometimes I look back and cringe at what I've opened up and shared with her, but then after that feeling has passed, I often look back and amazed at how much of what I have buried in my head I will let out at times. She must make me feel very secure to let me feel that I can tell her anything as she asks - maybe I don't convey that feeling of security enough and is why others often question the wisdom of letting all of this play out.
My last thoughts seem to somewhat align with the thoughts from Peak regarding full denial. I see that as perhaps the ultimate play-out of this whole thing between us and in some ways, the idea sits atop a pedestal waiting for the right circumstances. And I guess it'll take the right circumstances as well as the right person to take it from there and make it real. Now, a few days after her saying it to me (several times) I can see what she means that by the time we get to that point where that becomes something she/we would consider, that so many of the prerequisites would already be fulfilled that it probably won't be the earth-shaking discussion, but more like "yeah, I expected it". And it's weird to say it, but I think I'll enjoy seeing this develop and seeing her desires rise.
Even now, I can say here and I've even told her, she needs a lover. I still think it's somewhat circumstantial as our daughter is still home and we are very still mom/dad - but she needs a lover who can take her away from that and remind her of the pleasure she's felt in the past. I do think that come next fall, that once our home can return to being "ours" - that her desire for other men may decrease - and maybe we'll find an equilibrium at that time that will be different from now. But for right now, I admit it that I guess I don't give her everything she needs sexually - more because it's in her mind than in my cock (so to speak) but I guess it still is a need of hers that's grown over time (back to where it was?). I have talked about the lightness in her step and the way her eyes and her body looked when she was seeing Robert regularly - and I can now see that they are gone or reduced. Not that she's not happy or horny right now - quite the opposite - but I'm not sure if even she realizes what having a lover did for her. A crazy thought I also have is whether some of that was because she was having Robert bare for so long and whether some of her disposition was chemically oriented (I admit that's somewhat of a turn on).
I am comforted that Peak, you can understand how I feel about things between us, that going down this road may be scary and exciting, but I also don't feel the same sense of foreboding or fear for our relationship. If anything these past few months have been very revealing and have only reinforced my belief that we love each other in ways that are far beyond what she may do with other guys.
Let me run, sometimes I look back and cringe at what I've opened up and shared with her, but then after that feeling has passed, I often look back and amazed at how much of what I have buried in my head I will let out at times. She must make me feel very secure to let me feel that I can tell her anything as she asks - maybe I don't convey that feeling of security enough and is why others often question the wisdom of letting all of this play out.
I don't have much free time this morning to update here but wanted to take a moment to put some thoughts here that are fresh in my mind from last night.
We had our usual Wednesday night fun last night but this time Sue did a little more of the talking than what is usual. She again wanted me to tell her what I was thinking deep down and share with her. But then she said something that made sense but also scares me a little. She said she wanted me to talk to her about what I'd shared and that she felt that the more I talk about it with her, the more I'll get used to it and the more relaxed we can both be about it. That got me thinking but it was what she said later about wanting to have this stuff out in the open when she does find her next boyfriend. She said that it's very easy for us to talk openly both in and out of bed now about her having sex and doing stuff with other guys - and that she'd like to feel the same about the rest of all of this. It made sense to me at the time but now, it sort of feels like she's "conditioning" me.
But it went sort of like last Saturday where she asked me to tell her more about how I feel about things and she told me more about how she feels. She wanted me to understand how she feels when her lover will be the one who makes her cum. She told me how she feels when his cock fills her pussy and she can feel him connected with her, like they are one. She said again how this is also when she's become much more aware of how it feels physically - she told me how she loved being able to feel her lover's cock throbbing deep in her vagina (she used the proper term again too) and she again told me how it feels when her lover will share her orgasm with her and how they're "one" at that moment and how she is "his". She asked me how it felt to know what I was going to be giving up and my god did it turn me on. I know we were talking "in the moment" but it very intense.
It was when she asked me again what I was thinking about that and whether it turned me on that I guess I again revealed my truest thoughts. Again as she encouraged me to "tell me anything" that I started to tell her how horny she'd gotten me and I again came violently when it got to her asking me if I liked thinking of her pussy being filled with his cum when they came together.
I guess it's hard to hide my truest feelings, it's a little embarassing to know how clearly it tells Sue what I'm thinking.
We had our usual Wednesday night fun last night but this time Sue did a little more of the talking than what is usual. She again wanted me to tell her what I was thinking deep down and share with her. But then she said something that made sense but also scares me a little. She said she wanted me to talk to her about what I'd shared and that she felt that the more I talk about it with her, the more I'll get used to it and the more relaxed we can both be about it. That got me thinking but it was what she said later about wanting to have this stuff out in the open when she does find her next boyfriend. She said that it's very easy for us to talk openly both in and out of bed now about her having sex and doing stuff with other guys - and that she'd like to feel the same about the rest of all of this. It made sense to me at the time but now, it sort of feels like she's "conditioning" me.
But it went sort of like last Saturday where she asked me to tell her more about how I feel about things and she told me more about how she feels. She wanted me to understand how she feels when her lover will be the one who makes her cum. She told me how she feels when his cock fills her pussy and she can feel him connected with her, like they are one. She said again how this is also when she's become much more aware of how it feels physically - she told me how she loved being able to feel her lover's cock throbbing deep in her vagina (she used the proper term again too) and she again told me how it feels when her lover will share her orgasm with her and how they're "one" at that moment and how she is "his". She asked me how it felt to know what I was going to be giving up and my god did it turn me on. I know we were talking "in the moment" but it very intense.
It was when she asked me again what I was thinking about that and whether it turned me on that I guess I again revealed my truest thoughts. Again as she encouraged me to "tell me anything" that I started to tell her how horny she'd gotten me and I again came violently when it got to her asking me if I liked thinking of her pussy being filled with his cum when they came together.
I guess it's hard to hide my truest feelings, it's a little embarassing to know how clearly it tells Sue what I'm thinking.
Soon to Be,
Could you elaborate on the following:
"That got me thinking but it was what she said later about wanting to have this stuff out in the open when she does find her next boyfriend. She said that it's very easy for us to talk openly both in and out of bed now about her having sex and doing stuff with other guys - and that she'd like to feel the same about the rest of all of this. It made sense to me at the time but now, it sort of feels like she's "conditioning" me."
Could you elaborate on the following:
"That got me thinking but it was what she said later about wanting to have this stuff out in the open when she does find her next boyfriend. She said that it's very easy for us to talk openly both in and out of bed now about her having sex and doing stuff with other guys - and that she'd like to feel the same about the rest of all of this. It made sense to me at the time but now, it sort of feels like she's "conditioning" me."
I had a few minutes so I thought I'd answer Mino's question.
What I was implying and trying to convey was that it's become really easy for us to talk about sex and her with other guys at most any time. What I mean is that it's become something we're both more comfortable talking about outside the bedroom - whether we're driving somewhere in the car or watching TV or whatever. It's become easy for us to talk about it. I am feeling she wants to be as comfortable talking about this new more explicit denial stuff in the same way. I also think she is trying to get me past my still apparent apprehension at talking about it more freely when we are in bed as I guess I still need that reinforcement from her that it's okay with her for me to want this sort of stuff.
Hope that explains it a bit more.
What I was implying and trying to convey was that it's become really easy for us to talk about sex and her with other guys at most any time. What I mean is that it's become something we're both more comfortable talking about outside the bedroom - whether we're driving somewhere in the car or watching TV or whatever. It's become easy for us to talk about it. I am feeling she wants to be as comfortable talking about this new more explicit denial stuff in the same way. I also think she is trying to get me past my still apparent apprehension at talking about it more freely when we are in bed as I guess I still need that reinforcement from her that it's okay with her for me to want this sort of stuff.
Hope that explains it a bit more.
Steve,
A couple of points occur.
1. Sue could be using her on line conversations in much the same way that you here. Testing your feeling about some issues. Looking for some reassurance with others. It may be that others have led her to this new stand.
2. And this may be related. We have said many times over the years that decisions or commitments made at the point of orgasm don't carry quite the same weight as those made with a non erect penis. Sue could simply be checking that your feelings hold true during down time too. It's no bad thing but it does make it harder to extract yourself later if the going gets tough.
Either way it has the feeling of the planning for a long campaign. No point making this level of pre planning for a few weeks. Think about how you would really feel on some of these issues if Sue got deep and heavy for six months, a year. How much periodic re connection would you need to sustain your sanity? Your real relationship? I think you have been thinking of a few intense weeks or months and then an end. Bear in mind that Robert ended this one. The next guy might want to continue. I mean, I would. Will would, and neither of us would be daft enough to destroy by trying to get too deep that Sue would have to end it.
A couple of points occur.
1. Sue could be using her on line conversations in much the same way that you here. Testing your feeling about some issues. Looking for some reassurance with others. It may be that others have led her to this new stand.
2. And this may be related. We have said many times over the years that decisions or commitments made at the point of orgasm don't carry quite the same weight as those made with a non erect penis. Sue could simply be checking that your feelings hold true during down time too. It's no bad thing but it does make it harder to extract yourself later if the going gets tough.
Either way it has the feeling of the planning for a long campaign. No point making this level of pre planning for a few weeks. Think about how you would really feel on some of these issues if Sue got deep and heavy for six months, a year. How much periodic re connection would you need to sustain your sanity? Your real relationship? I think you have been thinking of a few intense weeks or months and then an end. Bear in mind that Robert ended this one. The next guy might want to continue. I mean, I would. Will would, and neither of us would be daft enough to destroy by trying to get too deep that Sue would have to end it.
Almost Pavlovian.
‘Conditioning’ is definitely the correct word. Your lovely wife is certainly working to an agenda, with possible coaching by a third party.
On a different tack, I wonder if over the past five years, Sue has kept photographic mementoes of her lovers, especially Robert, the biggest and the best. When they were together I can understand the fact that his appearance was a mystery to you provided an extra kick but now that their affair is over, would you perhaps like a belated glimpse of his face?
‘Conditioning’ is definitely the correct word. Your lovely wife is certainly working to an agenda, with possible coaching by a third party.
On a different tack, I wonder if over the past five years, Sue has kept photographic mementoes of her lovers, especially Robert, the biggest and the best. When they were together I can understand the fact that his appearance was a mystery to you provided an extra kick but now that their affair is over, would you perhaps like a belated glimpse of his face?
UK - I did ask Sue about pictures and she's assured me that despite some earlier teasing back with Frank and at other times, that there have only been a very few pictures of her with a lover and that would mean that I've shared all that there are, or at least all that she'll own up to.
Regarding your comment about a 3rd party - she has owned up that she is conversing, pretty regularly, with another guy. All she's said is that he's very kind and very considerate and very knowledgable. She says that he is a bull by nature but that he has only been a sounding board for her and, as I have here, she feels she has a place she can share her own thoughts. She's told me that he is understanding of what we're doing as she's told him everything. I know from her past experiences with pen-pals that it can satisfy her for a while. Before she went off that first time and was with another guy for the first time, she'd gone virtually there with her pen-pal in that she'd sent her own pictures to him and had talked in details about many things. I am convinced that experience gave her more of the courage she had when she went to bed with that guy Bill when she was away for the first time. So if he helps her and helps her sort out her own feelings, then I'm certainly going to encourage it and not stand in her way.
She said again how she wants us (more me) to be able to talk more openly about what the future may bring. It's weird to think that we're both in sync on what we'd like to have happen and she is right, the more we talk about it, the less apprehensive and anxious I feel about it. Just yesterday she pushed us further on that when we were in food-shopping yesterday. We met up in the drugstore aisle and as we looked at some stuff she noticed the section of condoms on the shelves and she pulled my attention to them. I was beet red at first but realized that she was careful and there was no one else in the aisle with us and she asked me which ones I liked best and she asked me if there were others I wanted to try. It took me a second for it to register but at the same time, instead of making me anxious, when I knew we were alone and I saw that she had this sexy tone to her voice I coughed up some courage and I told her what someone had posted here, that maybe the ribbed ones would let her feel me more. I wasn't sure of her reply but felt good when she said "okay, lets remember that for when we're ready to start using them". Just like that - no big deal or anything other than it seeming like a normal conversation - but my god did my cock get hard. I don't think she noticed because I said something like "yeah" and then I started to push the cart so it was against my waist.
It was later last night though when she started to tease me again. That was when she told me more about her pen-pal and how horny he'd get her with what he'd tell her. She told me that he was also encouraging her to go with her wishes and let herself feel the things she's wanted. She looked at me and said that he'd actually made a point - like others here have said - that she loves me and that what she wants is more lust and excitement than anything but she also said lots of reassuring stuff that I shouldn't worry and that I should relax and enjoy things. She started to talk to me about thinking about how I feel in her and she started to emphasize that I should start to think about her new lover feeling the same. As we rolled around on the bed she teased me about "wondering how those ribbed condoms will feel" and then she started to tease me about enjoying feeling her bare while I still can. That wasn't how she said it but was what she was implying. Especially towards the end when we'd both built up to an impending explosion and she said something about only her lover feeling her like that.
It was a whirlwind of thoughts in my head as I knew I could feel her so intensely at that point. I could feel her pulling her knees back even more than where my arms were holding them in, I could feel her pussy sucking at my cock and I was intensely aware of just how wet, slick and open she felt as if it were an entrance to her soul in a way. When she moaned about only her lover feeling that moment with her - I can't fully explain how I felt but as I came and felt her almost immediatlely respond to feeling my cum filling her body with her body arching back and her head thrashing back and forth as I once again became intimately aware of what she would only feel with her lover in the future.
She was moaning away and there was no hiding that she'd managed to reach that peak orgasm with me, at home, in our own bed. It's only now that I'm realizing she's been able to let go of herself so much more easily these past few months than in the past where that type of intense orgasm would have needed a bottle of wine or more and a hotel room. I lay against her and all we could her was each others breathing and the only motion was our bodies calming down together. I rolled off of her and I'll say that I think I was even more aware of the feeling of pulling my wet softening cock out of her and feeling the heat of her pussy as I pulled free. I wasn't sure what to say other than 'wow' as she held my hand. I would have said more had she seemed like she wanted but at that moment, I think she was like me, happy to lie there and enjoy the moment.
Regarding your comment about a 3rd party - she has owned up that she is conversing, pretty regularly, with another guy. All she's said is that he's very kind and very considerate and very knowledgable. She says that he is a bull by nature but that he has only been a sounding board for her and, as I have here, she feels she has a place she can share her own thoughts. She's told me that he is understanding of what we're doing as she's told him everything. I know from her past experiences with pen-pals that it can satisfy her for a while. Before she went off that first time and was with another guy for the first time, she'd gone virtually there with her pen-pal in that she'd sent her own pictures to him and had talked in details about many things. I am convinced that experience gave her more of the courage she had when she went to bed with that guy Bill when she was away for the first time. So if he helps her and helps her sort out her own feelings, then I'm certainly going to encourage it and not stand in her way.
She said again how she wants us (more me) to be able to talk more openly about what the future may bring. It's weird to think that we're both in sync on what we'd like to have happen and she is right, the more we talk about it, the less apprehensive and anxious I feel about it. Just yesterday she pushed us further on that when we were in food-shopping yesterday. We met up in the drugstore aisle and as we looked at some stuff she noticed the section of condoms on the shelves and she pulled my attention to them. I was beet red at first but realized that she was careful and there was no one else in the aisle with us and she asked me which ones I liked best and she asked me if there were others I wanted to try. It took me a second for it to register but at the same time, instead of making me anxious, when I knew we were alone and I saw that she had this sexy tone to her voice I coughed up some courage and I told her what someone had posted here, that maybe the ribbed ones would let her feel me more. I wasn't sure of her reply but felt good when she said "okay, lets remember that for when we're ready to start using them". Just like that - no big deal or anything other than it seeming like a normal conversation - but my god did my cock get hard. I don't think she noticed because I said something like "yeah" and then I started to push the cart so it was against my waist.
It was later last night though when she started to tease me again. That was when she told me more about her pen-pal and how horny he'd get her with what he'd tell her. She told me that he was also encouraging her to go with her wishes and let herself feel the things she's wanted. She looked at me and said that he'd actually made a point - like others here have said - that she loves me and that what she wants is more lust and excitement than anything but she also said lots of reassuring stuff that I shouldn't worry and that I should relax and enjoy things. She started to talk to me about thinking about how I feel in her and she started to emphasize that I should start to think about her new lover feeling the same. As we rolled around on the bed she teased me about "wondering how those ribbed condoms will feel" and then she started to tease me about enjoying feeling her bare while I still can. That wasn't how she said it but was what she was implying. Especially towards the end when we'd both built up to an impending explosion and she said something about only her lover feeling her like that.
It was a whirlwind of thoughts in my head as I knew I could feel her so intensely at that point. I could feel her pulling her knees back even more than where my arms were holding them in, I could feel her pussy sucking at my cock and I was intensely aware of just how wet, slick and open she felt as if it were an entrance to her soul in a way. When she moaned about only her lover feeling that moment with her - I can't fully explain how I felt but as I came and felt her almost immediatlely respond to feeling my cum filling her body with her body arching back and her head thrashing back and forth as I once again became intimately aware of what she would only feel with her lover in the future.
She was moaning away and there was no hiding that she'd managed to reach that peak orgasm with me, at home, in our own bed. It's only now that I'm realizing she's been able to let go of herself so much more easily these past few months than in the past where that type of intense orgasm would have needed a bottle of wine or more and a hotel room. I lay against her and all we could her was each others breathing and the only motion was our bodies calming down together. I rolled off of her and I'll say that I think I was even more aware of the feeling of pulling my wet softening cock out of her and feeling the heat of her pussy as I pulled free. I wasn't sure what to say other than 'wow' as she held my hand. I would have said more had she seemed like she wanted but at that moment, I think she was like me, happy to lie there and enjoy the moment.
Peak - as I've said, I seem to have found peace with this direction - weird to say that I want her to find her next boyfriend and feel what it's like to move ahead when the time is ready. I can't explain it but that it feels sort of blissful in a way to know that she wants to fulfill her own desires in a way that will satisfy my own at the same time.
Perhaps she's right, talking about it more openly is easing my apprehension. It's something I haven't really felt before, that she will fulfill my desires when she is ready and that in some ways, we are both waiting for the same things. I can say that it is truly amplifying the intensity of our time right now. Between what we've been talking about and now, her increasing desire to make me very aware of what she and I are feeling, it's just amazing to feel happening.
I know people at work have commented on how "up" I seem to be lately. I know it's partly that we're enjoying some pretty awesome sex together, but it's also most definitely that I just feel more at ease with everything and it's something I feel from Sue too. As if some unknown weight has been lifted off her shoulders too that she may have not even known was there. I can't say it for sure but she seems very responsive when we're together lately. The lightest touch on her clit or the gentlest spreading of her pussy lips or the feathery lick of her nipples and she will start moaning. It's really quite arousing knowing that she is becoming more at ease with herself too.
I know people like Harry are saying "this is crazy" and on the other hand, people like Bill are probably hoping she'll jump into the pool head-first, but I wouldn't change a thing right now. It's weird, that other places I've seen reference to a contentment that cucks feel knowing their wives are fulfilled by other men, I never felt that weight directly but I suppose that it's been there for 30+ years in that I've felt that I had to satisfy her and maybe there's a truth to be said that maybe it's just that we both need a break from that. In any way, I can't deny that I feel an odd almost eerie sense of tranquility when I think about the future and seeing Sue let herself go, yes, knowing what it will bring some day.
Now, to push her to start to expand her horizons and find a place other than work to meet her next paramour....
Perhaps she's right, talking about it more openly is easing my apprehension. It's something I haven't really felt before, that she will fulfill my desires when she is ready and that in some ways, we are both waiting for the same things. I can say that it is truly amplifying the intensity of our time right now. Between what we've been talking about and now, her increasing desire to make me very aware of what she and I are feeling, it's just amazing to feel happening.
I know people at work have commented on how "up" I seem to be lately. I know it's partly that we're enjoying some pretty awesome sex together, but it's also most definitely that I just feel more at ease with everything and it's something I feel from Sue too. As if some unknown weight has been lifted off her shoulders too that she may have not even known was there. I can't say it for sure but she seems very responsive when we're together lately. The lightest touch on her clit or the gentlest spreading of her pussy lips or the feathery lick of her nipples and she will start moaning. It's really quite arousing knowing that she is becoming more at ease with herself too.
I know people like Harry are saying "this is crazy" and on the other hand, people like Bill are probably hoping she'll jump into the pool head-first, but I wouldn't change a thing right now. It's weird, that other places I've seen reference to a contentment that cucks feel knowing their wives are fulfilled by other men, I never felt that weight directly but I suppose that it's been there for 30+ years in that I've felt that I had to satisfy her and maybe there's a truth to be said that maybe it's just that we both need a break from that. In any way, I can't deny that I feel an odd almost eerie sense of tranquility when I think about the future and seeing Sue let herself go, yes, knowing what it will bring some day.
Now, to push her to start to expand her horizons and find a place other than work to meet her next paramour....
SoonToBe said:
Ya, People like "Harry" probably thought you were 'crazy' to have started this in the first place, but now that it's taken hold, It's gonna happen, like it or not. You want it, Sue wants it, So I know that there's nothing I could say or write that would stop it from happening. I'm OK with that!!!
It's your life, and I'm just curious enough to read what happens.
- Status
