Our "new norm"

[SoonToBe]

She just called me before she left work and wanted to be sure I was going to be okay and said again how it's been a long time (relatively speaking) since she'd spent the night away and she giggled and said she wanted to be sure I'd be okay "later tonight" - which is her way of asking if I'm going to enjoy jerking off later tonight.

It's raining here and that usually puts her in a very horny mood once she's settled in for the night. I've been hard all afternoon thinking of her at his place and how she'll be with him later. Saving my horniness for later tonight though, savoring it now.

 

[SoonToBe]

It's so odd - after the summer with a full house to now be home alone. I actually got undressed and walked around naked for a little while enjoying the freedom - and enjoying a wicked hardon thinking about her enjoying her night with Paul. But the thought of her sleeping naked next to him later tonight really has my cock dripping right now. And it's moments like these that assure me that I am a cuck and I love it.

 

[golfman2315]

Steve, Sue has always given you what you want or need so I thoroughly expect that the next time you 3 are together that she'll take the lead and after Paul has finished the first time she will ask for you to clean her up and or take your turn with a condom all within the presences of Paul. Maybe this weekend and maybe you can do both.

A couple observations:

You have relayed that Sue has asked you many times what you want in regards to your desires but I wonder if you have truly asked her (I assume you have) what she really wants? In your recaps you have stated several times that she has said stuff like "when this beta thing is over we can go back to bare" but I just wonder if that is her polite way of saying and wishing you would end that desire so she could feel you bare again. I remember when Paul was out of town she made reference to not wanting to have sex with you one night because you could not make her feel how she wanted to feel because you could not cum in her which gives her those big orgasms.

If she did say she would prefer you end it would you?

Do you think that Sue could or might be tiring of Paul a little because there isn't as much spark between them outside of the sex which is obviously satisfying? That comment about him being more like a brother I think could be a little telling.

Paul sort of reminds me of Frank.

It seemed like an abrupt end to the going away every 5 weeks or so where you got to take her bare. I know that is when the conversation of the New Norm but why the quick change?

 

[SoonToBe]

Golf - interesting observations including some that I hadn't necessarily thought of with your similarity between Paul and Frank where things ended when there was no way to progress further in many different ways.

I would most certainly respond and partake if Sue were to take the lead and ask/suggest for me to participate. I don't know that she will but if she did, I would certainly overcome my apprehension or try to.

Regarding what her desires are. You have pointed out several conversations that lead one way. I recall and know of other situations that lead the other way such as her continuing holding her sister and her husband and others as examples of relationships where condom use is the norm. I don't know that she has one answer though. I think her answers to those questions are going to vary depending on her boyfriend whoever that may be. She could just as easily ask or tell me to not use a condom with her now. My feelings and thoughts on this quiet night in thinking about this is that I want to give her the freedom to ask me or to not ask me - but to make it her choice.

I can't hide from the feelings I've let out, that the feelings of being the "beta" for her are somehow very satisfying to me. She knows that and I can say with a good deal of confidence that that is still at play in her mind, that it makes her feel she can let go with Paul and experience all she wants to with him - if she wants to. I think she might take on some of the alpha role because she may take the view that it would make it better for me - so maybe as you suggest, she'll do so this weekend. But I think if it does happen, it's going to be only when it needs to happen in her mind, not something ongoing.

She texted me a while ago and said good night and that she loved me and that she hoped I was "enjoying my evening". I texted back that I was going to do so right before bed. She sent back a smiley face and a heart.

So with it being 11:30pm now I'm quite sure they've had sex already and are likely perhaps still lying together post-fuck. I've peered in on them sometimes and it's very erotic to see them still connected and intertwined or to see them more explicit with his wet cock lying there and her wet pussy visible. But it's really erotic to see her so relaxed and looking just so beautiful as he runs his hand over her breasts or caresses her shoulders. Sometimes they'll kiss, but most of the time it's this sexy caress that just gets me so horny to see.

And now that my cock is rock hard, it's time to say adieu and hopefully fall asleep after I jerk off once or twice. When I let my mind think about them and play back images that I've been witness to, it's so erotic to just close my eyes and re-live moments or scenes.

Till later or tomrrow......

 

[SoonToBe]

Well, going to bed after jerking off is the easy part - it's always the next morning when I feel it most. The empty bed and quiet house gets to me so much more in the morning. It's almost 8:30am so I'm quite sure she's likely already on her way to work and just the thought of her getting ready with him this morning after spending the night has me hard again.

I should probably add that she's not sure if she's seeing Paul this weekend - between his golf-season coming to an end and, surprisingly, her comment about "not overdoing it" led to her honestly saying that after she's spent the night with him, that she wants a break. I know she followed this pattern last year, wasn't thinking it was going to resume but it makes me feel good knowing she wants some limits.

Gotta run.

 

[Horny wolf]

This question for you is a little different, but something I've wonderd as I read this thread. (I've missed earluier threads of yours.) Does your wife use birth control? Considering that only her lover can cum in her, what if she became pregnant with his baby? (Or, considering that you are apparently closer to my age, as your children have grown, is this even an issue anymore?)

The thing that has always really turned me on about my wife's cum filled pussy, is that her lover's sperm are swimming in search of an egg. We always knew that she would not get pregnant, but the idea that his cum was searching was hot in itself. Recently we even told a one or two time lover that she was wanting to become pregnant, and was hoping that he would inseminate her---we knew she wouldn't but it was a fun game to know that he thought he was trying to help and that he was filling her with cum on the possibility of getting her pregnant.

On another occaision---we are pretty certain that she did get pregnant with her lover---her second time to fool around after we were married. If she did become pregnant, she lost it, due to the fact that we couldn't stop fucking (in part because she may have had someone else's baby in her belly), and that he gave her VD---a tale I have related elsewhere here.

The subject is also on my mind because just recently she confirmed something that I have long suspected----that one of my stepchildren may not belong to her first husband------she has only revealed one of her lovers to me during her first marriage----it may have been her only one---and they only met up a few times, but it was pretty hot sex. He was older and very rich, and I was fortunate to meet him. She discovered that she was pregnant shortly after their quick and very hot affair, and I have always noticed that this kid is not like exactly like the others. I have asked her about it before, but she only recently confirmed that she had the affair right before her preganancy. She has tried to deny it for many years, but finally she is coming to terms with the fact that this kid may very well be his.

I love her cum filled pussy, but unfortunately, her main lover has had his tubes cut. I still enjoy it, but it is even better when she had other lovers-----there was always that idea of the sperm swimming around inside of her looking for an egg...

How is it in your relationship?

 

[golfman2315]

The advanced search feature in the top right hand corner will allow you to go back and read Steve and Sue's whole journey which is well worth it.

 

[peakmb]

Steve,
I've been trying to count back. It would appear that the last time you had any penetration was Sunday, 30 August although even then your post at the time wasn't clear what happened for you that weekend after Paul left. It seems even with the condoms your opportunities this year have been very few and far between. Is this the new pattern you expect to see maintained till Christmas and maybe beyond? There is a danger that you and Sue may lose some of your natural connection if you do, as well as you losing control by being over excited when you do make love. Does Sue see any danger here?

 

[SoonToBe]

Well, Peak, that long streak was broken on Saturday night when to my surprise, Sue said she wanted to be with me. I am sure it was because she wasn't seeing Paul that it was as passionate as it was. But regardless, passion is passion and this time it was directed to me. It was quite awesome if I could describe it briefly. She enjoyed sucking my cock as I licked away at her pussy until after cumming several times she said she was ready. I won't spend too much time but will say that kneeling there between her spread legs and seeing her naked and waiting for me - that as she handed me the condom I just felt incredibly aroused and she even giggled at how my cock would be so hard and how it would bob up and down.

I have to say that one of the most erotic moments for me is putting the condom on. I have some PM's and other emails where people have shared their thoughts about this and I can say that for me, feeling good doing that - feeling so turned on about it - knowing what I'm doing and what I'm giving her with Paul - that if I really do feel good about it, then I do truly want to be the beta for her. Most people are telling me that if that's how I feel then I shouldn't fight it and should just accept it, and yes, most certainly enjoy it.

That's why I wanted to share that after having magnificently intense sex, and yes, she did experience one of those toe-curling orgasms that she's long now enjoyed with Paul, I facilitated that by using a little more lubricant towards the end just before it was my turn to cum, it made her feel slick and open and I imagine she must have felt the same - that and she insists that she can still feel me throb in her and can still feel the heat from my cum even if it is contained - because after waiting quite a bit of time to penetrate her as Peak pointed out - that I stayed pretty darn hard and it was a fun moment to feel her body tremble beneath me. Now that was quite enjoyable indeed and even she had a sheen of sweat over her body that made her look gorgeous.

But the surprises continued on Sunday when while we were talking about this coming week and how she wanted to see him one afternoon/evening and then he would come here next weekend - and she smiled and kissed me and asked me if he could spend the night?! She felt my cock get hard and smiled and asked "is that a yes?" I kissed her and she knew her answer was yes. But the surprises was what came next. She slid up next to me and said she'd decided something that she thought would help me out. She giggled but then said that the next time we'll have sex is when I want to do it with her just after Paul finishes. She said that she thought about what we'd talked about and she said that while she didn't feel like she could be the one to tell me when they're together, that this should give me incentive "if not this coming weekend, then maybe the next...." and then she said it "you can decide when".

So, that's my ultimatum! Its crazy but my god hearing her tell me that as we lay there after awesome sex together, it was just so crazy to hear that I looked at her and asked if she meant it and she smiled and said if I wanted it. I was going to say something back but lying in bed after just having sex it wasn't the time. And in thinking about it last night and today I am realizing that this was just as she said, her saying what she wanted, at least to me.

Peak, to answer your question about a natural connection, I think Saturday was what we both needed to recharge and reconnect. I can say that I could feel her really let go with me and I know that there was no way to fake her side of it (nor mine - lol). Whether this was intentionally scheduled on her part or just part of the natural flow of things, I also don't want to ask that, but I will certainly lean towards better thoughts for sure!

Horny - Sue is long past being able to have kids. That ship sailed many years ago now and it is obvious it is true. I have shared here that as recent as just a year or so ago she 'fessed up to enjoying a pregnancy fantasy now that she felt horrified about earlier. (I'm assuming the implication is of her enjoying fantasizing about Paul knocking her up - but I haven't asked for details other than her comments). And I'll admit the fantasy part of it arouses me.

Goodnight all, unfortunately tomorrow will be here all too soon with another hectic week.

 

[peakmb]

Good to see Steve. You have said many times now how exciting it is for you to roll on the condom. I just wonder, is there a moment when you want to not use it and is that feeling growing or getting weaker?

 

[tegelad]

Now if you are truly wanting to be a beta ... you should suggest if he is willing that he should stay both weekends .....

+-ADT

 

[SoonToBe]

Peak, I think the way to explain it best is that I still, a lot of the time, long to feel her bare and she knows it. That, however, to me is a physical thing and while it is incredibly wonderful, right now it is outweighed by the mental arousal I continue to have. Is that arousal getting stronger, the only thing I can say is that it varies. At times the thoughts of it going further makes me crazy horny, at other times I cringe at the thought.

I have more thoughts but no time to share now as I was busy with work stuff this evening. Perhaps tomorrow evening before Sue gets home. She says shes' seeing how she likes this alternating week schedule. Tegelad, that sort of answered your question too. I've said before that her wanting that distance at times with him makes me feel good about things.

 

[SquirmingSub]

Steve - everything seems to continue to be going well for you and Sue, along with Sue and Paul. The three of you together have found a good place that works for all of you. Your journey will continue to have the ups and downs, enjoy the ride as long as it last.

 

[SoonToBe]

Thought I would share some of our talk last night as it's prescient.

With the empty-nest, Sue again didn't rush home after seeing Paul, instead she arrived home about 7:30pm last night. I normally look forward to her coming home from work as it is but when I know she's coming from his place, it seems to bring me even more happiness when she gets home. And again, the look on her face and how she carries herself made it obvious to me that she'd had some pretty intense passion. She smiled and kissed and hugged me. When I asked "how was it" she smiled even more and said "wonderful".

We had a late dinner and after catching up on all of the day's news, things turned towards sex. She shared how nice it was being with Paul and told me how she felt good that we could talk like this and that it didn't have to feel awkward talking about her and Paul. I told her that I liked it too. When she shared some details with me, she seemed to enjoy telling me how much she liked getting naked with him and feeling his hands (and more) on her. I obviously was horny and she told me that if I wanted to masturbate ("take care of yourself" as she puts it) that she would talk to me more.

What started out with the intention of just another Wednesday night, as she talked, the conversation became more intense and my stroking was replaced by us getting into a very revealing and very intense discussion. It sort of started when she asked me what I thought of her "ultimatum". I told her what I'd said already that I thought her asking me to do so was going to do more for me motivationally. I told her that knowing she wanted me to do it would hopefully ease my anxieties. She asked me if it was going to turn me on if I was going to get past my anxiety and actually do it and use a condom with her while Paul was still with us.

I told her that it did turn me on to think about it and hoped that it would be as good as I hoped when I was ready for it. She teased me that I'll "just have to wait until he's here next then if not this weekend".

It was right around then that I looked at her and I asked her how she felt about it. I led into it by saying though that I thought I'd seen her enjoying things more lately. She looked at me and said that I was right and that she had "come to see things differently" over time, especially since being with Paul so much. She said that really enjoying sex with him had made her aware of what arouses her and turns her on and she admitted that she is enjoying me not cumming in her and how that makes her feel about me and around me. She said she didn't want to hurt me and that it doesn't mean anything and even put it back on me that maybe it's her own response to what turns me on. But as we talked, it seemed that we both sort of realized that it's the same thing as it's always been for us. That it's the both of us enjoying the same thing, just each from a different side. As we talked we both began to express some of the same thoughts and concerns.

Now I have to say, it felt eerie that her concerns were similar to mine and I even wondered if she's been reading what I post here or whatever, but it seemed genuine to me at the same time so whatever we'll just toss it up to serendipity. It was one of those times when talking was easy and I put it out there plainly to her - I told her that it worried me that she was maybe going to want me using condoms for longer than I'd want to at some point in the future or whatever.

When she understood what I'd said she immediately looked at me and said "baby, if you ever need to have me bare, you just do it, I would never say no..... you are my husband and my first-love......" and she repeated it over and over in different forms for the next few moments ending by telling me that even if she loved it and never wanted me to cum in her again, "if you need it baby, I will be here for you" and then hugged me and told me she loved me.

Well, the ice was broken with that and I told her that it was one of my biggest fears in all this, that we'll get to a point - and I said it was me who was going to want to go back and that I feared she wouldn't want to or be able to and I reminded her (in a friendly way) about what she'd said about "always having a lover".

She was very apologetic at first about how callous that sounded and how one-sided it must have seemed to me and she added that "it's always if you want it too baby" and she did say again that she loved that this all turned me on. We talked for a moment more as she told me how she loved seeing how happy and fulfilled I am. I told her in return that I was seeing that in her too and that was some of what was concerning. I told her that it concerned me when her own desires and pleasure with Paul were growing that at some point they'd become more truly hers and not just because they turn me on. She held my hand and said that she didn't think there was anyway to avoid that from happenening and then asked me if that wasn't what I'd always said that I'd wanted - and she then asked me if I was saying that I didn't want to be the beta-guy for her (always sounds weird when she says it) any more. I told her "no" and as I said it was easy to talk to her and I told her that no, for right now I loved what we were doing but that sometimes it scared or concerned me a little thinking about the future. She was honest and she too said that at times her own thoughts and desires scared her in the same way - but she said that it's never something where she questions our future or our love together, she actually giggled and said that "it's really just about the sex". She told me that sometimes she let her mind go too and that when she did she admitted she could see "some crazy stuff". I didn't ask her what she could "see" but instead I asked her what she thinks about that. She held my hands and she said that she loved me more than anything and that would always be first for her. I thought of asking her more but then thought "why push it" when I could feel that she felt almost as concerned as I did and yet, the warmth and love I heard and felt made clear she was being honest with me, plus, I just couldn't see us going further into it last night.

So as I said, it was almost eerie that as we talked so much of what I was concerned about was something she'd felt too. And as we talked I think we both realized that it was our own possible desires that scared us each more than what the other may want. At first it was that each of us was concerned the other would possibly still want to carry the denial on longer than we did. But the thing was, as we talked, and I felt so amazed when I realized what I was really feeling was when I came out and said that it may be more the opposite that scares me more. That it's the uncertainty that I feel - and as Peak's question may have led me to - it's the uncertainty I feel about wanting this more as time goes by and to what degree, where it will end and for how long. Sue almost seemed to have a tear in her eye when she said that she never thought of it that way but she too felt much the same question about how to feel about not knowing how far you want something to go into the future.

We didn't come to any answers, there aren't any. But it did make us both feel good to know we feel the same anxieities - just from opposite sides. I don't want to make it sound like this was some big heavy conversation, it actually was sort relaxed while I lay there with an obvious lump in my boxers. As our conversation turned back towards sex she kept on telling me what I'd said to her in the past, that when the time comes, that we'll know what to do and it'll see okay to us. I told her that I try to focus on the present and enjoy things and she said that's what she is doing a lot of the time and trying not to think of long-term scenarios for her and Paul. She giggled and asked me again how I liked her telling me what she wanted me to do. I told her it made me horny when she did so and she giggled that "I can see that" and as she said that she added "... slip off your boxers baby...". It felt very sexy lying there almost naked masturbating for her. It felt crazy sexy to slide them off and let her see just how hard I was. She cooed in my ear how sexy I looked and then said "... come on baby, let me see you cum....". Fuck, even now I'm hard again.

I'm sure it will seem quite tame for me to recap some of the things she said - most were in the vein of "...mmm baby you like it when I ...." and she would add in various things and then elaborate on them. Like describing how wet she feels after she'd ask me if I like Paul cumming inside her. Or at another point her asking me if I like knowing how good his cock feels in her and then adding "... how it makes me cum....". Each time though I had to say it felt awesome hearing her say things that were her own doing and it was obvious she was enjoying it too. When I was getting closer the question of my liking using condoms with her came up and it made me so horny to tell her openly and honestly that it turned me on like crazy almost yelling the "yes" part of the answer to which she followed by whispering in the most sexy voice she could "....good because I don't want your cum in me....". She said it, fuck she said it in a way that sounded so genuine and yet, at the same time, I knew was meant to turn me on. She groaned about "how good it feels" and as she did, I don't know if it was what she was saying or just what was in my mind but a moment later I let out a moan and felt the cum gush out of me as if it had a mind of it's own. Sue even pulled back a bit as I grunted and it just squirted away. Sometimes it's multiple small spurts but last night, it was more like 2 or 3 huge spurts that even splashed noisily when they landed - that followed by me just about collapsing from the intensity.

 

[peakmb]

Steve,
Thanks for the very detailed post. It's clear that from time to time you both need to touch base in this way to make sure you are not drifting too far apart emotionally or physically. Neither seems an issue at the moment. It's also clear yet again that Paul is fulfilling a function at the moment but has neither any influence or emotional connection with Sue, and certainly with you. This is probably why you find it so difficult to act submissively with Sue in his presence. You must struggle sometimes to see that he warrants the same deference as Sue, yet he's fucking her bareback and you aren't. As he is so irrelevant it may be better to make love to Sue with a condom by simply ignoring him and concentrating instead on your connection to Sue at the time. Better again for you if it is Sue that requests your attentions. It keeps the Alpha with her and at that moment puts him below you in the attention pecking order. He may see that he can fuck her harder / better / naked, but he might also that your session contains more emotional connection than he gets too.

As to the dilemma of when you stop or break your bareback spell, there is a contradiction between Sue being in charge and saying that she is getting increasingly excited by denying you her bare pussy and her saying she would stop whenever you ask her to. The physical bare connection is in this case (good as it might be) is probably less important than the emotional connection behind it. In other words, if you were to demand a bare session and Sue agreed, it may well not give you what you expected. You would get the physical sensation but emotionally you would know that her heart might not be in it, that she was keeping something back in order to continue the dry spell afterwards. That's the kicker here. Sue has to want it too, in her own right, for her own reasons, and not just because she knows or suspects you need it at that time.

To many people, the presence of the condom or not would not be an overriding issue in itself. Many people have to use them anyway and it doesn't affect their connection. With you two though it has significance simply because you both put a special meaning to using the condoms. It represents a layer of both physical and emotional disconnection for you both. As such it is possible that Sue could continue that disconnection in her own mind whilst granting a bareback session with you. The physical effects would swamp out your perception of this at the time I'm sure, but you need to be aware of it and make sure with Sue where her mind is before doing it.

 

[far2easy]

Thanks for sharing STB, as always, as long as you 2 communicate like you are then how can things go wrong? It sounds like you can be as extreme as you want and everything will be fine. I say go for cleaning her up and fucking her with your condom, dont be shy or embarrassed! Wouldnt it be great if she handed you the condom though?

 

[SoonToBe]

Peak - you may have captured something in there, the more I re-read your post the more sense it makes to me. I do see the conflict you see in how Sue is responding to me and what we may need at times. I think what you said in your second paragraph rings true in many ways too. There's just a lot to think about right now.

Fortunately I have some time as she is out now getting a manicure/pedicure, something she always says makes her feel very sexy. Paul is golfing right now (annoying Sue a bit) but the plan is that he will be here after dinner. With it being a cooler evening forecast for tonight, Sue asked if we might light a fire in the fire-pit in the backyard and she asked me if I would be okay with her getting "cozy with Paul by the fire". She also reminded me that later tonight I will have my chance to "...be with me and Paul..." and just last night she opened the night-stand and said "good, there's a condom or two in there for you for tomorrow" and she told me again last night how she thinks it would be really nice if I could manage to be with her. I think she's being genuine with that desire for me, but she also added that she thinks it will turn me on immensely if I can actually do it and she giggled and said "I feel so warm and wet afterwards.... that you should enjoy it too....". I told her that adding pressure to it isn't making it easier. She told me again how "Paul already knows what you're doing...." in reinforcing it that it's all in my head.

Far2 - yeah, that would all be good, but I all but guarantee she won't say anything when the time comes, or if she does, it'll just be something vague. In all of this I don't get the feeling she will do or say anything like that in front of Paul, in fact I'm quite sure that it'll be my own doings or it likely won't happen. In some ways I do feel like I should just say "fuck it" and let him truly see how horny I get but at the same time I don't know how I'm going to feel - whether I should focus on trying to give Sue yet another/more orgasms - or whether I should just focus on myself and enjoy it and what happens happens. It's been a long time since Sue told me I could just use her pussy and that I should focus on just me getting off, not sure I want that feeling right now either as it doesn't seem very beta-ish in my head and I"m not quite sure how I'll feel about it. I"m quite sure I'm over-thinking this and should probably just go with whatever feels right when the time comes.

Anyway - I'm going to get some work done around the yard before my hard-on becomes something that needs relief right now.

 

[golfman2315]

Steve is Paul planning to spend the night? I say don't overthink this. Sue has cleared the path for this to happen so do it. Hope you guys have a great evening.

 

[far2easy]

Hey if thats not what you want, dont do it. I mean it seems like you should just make your mess on the bed next to them while enjoying their fucking and then clean up her pussy for her. You probably dont even want to fuck her i bet!

 

[SoonToBe]

Won't have much time to post today - at least not this morning.

But had to take a few minutes to post that I was "set up" on Saturday by Sue and while I wasn't ready for it, it all worked out okay.
Paul did spend the night with us - and I say "us" because it was "us.

I won't waste time in recapping conversations that are similar to the past. Paul was very cordial and even asked me if it was okay if he spent the night when he got here. Time alone with him was no different although he was more complimentary about Sue and telling me how much he enjoys "her company" which I corrected him and said "you mean sex with her" and he said "uh, yeah, that too for sure" - but we talked and he said that he genuinely likes Sue as a friend and not just a lover - and before he walked too far off into that direction he said again to me how lucky I was to have such a relationship with her that he can be a part of.

They were getting very chummy on the couch by the time it became obvious that we should head up to the bedroom. It was a bit awkward watching them as the wine was having its effect on Sue. When he had his hands under her top, we all felt it was time to head up. Thing was Sue was very amorous and inclusive of me when we were talking and then when they untangled themselves on the couch she leaned over me and said "are you going to come up with us?". I told her my usual answer of "in a few minutes" and she surprised me and said "don't wait too long". I was sure what she was angling at (she later told me yesterday that she was trying to "tell" me what to do a bit more).

I say I was setup because when I went into the bedroom maybe 5=10 minutes later they were already getting into more foreplay. He had her top unbuttoned and her breasts were ******* and he was kissing and caressing her all over and as I entered the room, he was beginning to again play with her pussy through her pants and with her squirming around, it was obvious she was going to want them off soon.

It was when she lifted her butt to let him pull her jeans down that he noticed the box of condoms that Sue had apparently purposely left inside the headboard (our headboard has an area for books and such). Apparently innocently and unplanned Paul asked her out loud "hey, did you want me to use one of those with you?" I had barely sat on the edge of the bed and she said she honestly didn't even realize I was there just yet when she turned her head and said to Paul "no baby, those are the ones Steve and I use".

It was at that moment that she realized I was sitting there and as she said that she turned her head to me and said "oh, I'm sorry I didn't know you were here" and then she tried to start to cover what she'd said by starting to say "...you know..." but before she could say anything. Seemingly without any prompting or planning (Sue insists she hadn't expected it to play out like this), Paul immediately said what he'd said in the past "oh, that's cool" and he turned to me and then just said "so? you think you're going to join us?".

I knew that Sue had explained to Paul that at times she would like me to maybe join them together and she'd long said that he was okay with that (as I said, non-dominant and non-aggressive) - and from how he looked at me, it was clear that Paul still fully hasn't gotten into his head what we are doing regarding denial and that sort of stuff. But as he looked at me and asked me Sue was nodding her head in the background, her way of telling me to say "yes". And when I said "I was thinking about it" he replied "about time....".

And that was it. All of a sudden it was out in the open that those were my condoms and I guess I realized it wasn't that big of a deal if neither of them made it out to be.

I did lie there on the bed with them as they continued getting "chummy" but I didn't stay the whole time. It just felt awkward to be right next to them as he literally seduced her and slowly undressed together. Instead I went into the bathroom and watched from the doorway. Sue did turn towards me and when she saw me looking at her and more that she saw the look on my face (as well as the lump in my pants that I was gently massaging) she smiled and then turned back to re-engage with Paul.

She really does look beautiful as she gives into him. There's just a way she looks and how she moves with him and how into it she seems and yes how she responds.... The slight arch of her back as he kisses his way down her neck to her breasts is just beautiful to know how she must feel at that moment. That and the soft gasp of breath when his hand went into her panties for the first time. How can it not turn you on to see the woman you love slowly getting hornier and hornier with her lover.

I wanted to stay and watch and yet at the same time I knew that they would probably be at it for a little while as I had a feeling Sue was really into wanting to get hot and horny with him from how she'd been responding to him. As he started to finger her and she began to moan I slipped out of the room for a bit. I just didn't feel like being the voyeur but to be honest, I started to feel a little self-conscious standing there starting to jerk-off watching them.

I didn't return until I heard them well under-way. It was sooner than I'd expected but when I got back to the room he was already in her and they were just starting to get into a good rhythm fucking. I stood in the doorway watching them on our bed and thinking that I loved it - something just so incredible to see her lying there beneath him totally enjoying it. I guess maybe it's been a little while since I watched from this perspective and I'll even say that his cock looked bigger than I'd remembered as he pulled out and then would push gently back into her. Each time he'd push in she'd moan deeper and then would relax with an "uhhhhh" as he'd pull out - so it became "oooooooo's followed by uhhhhhh" and it seems like as he sped up, the oo's and the uhh's got shorter and shorter.

Will I ever tire of watching her? I don't know, it's been so long now that it's, if anything, even more exciting to see her losing control. I know I'll sound totally cuck-ish to say that seeing his cock come out very wet and knowing she'd cum, even if it was just a little bit, was just beautiful. Sure, I still wince at seeing him pound back into her but knowing how wet and open she was - and even seeing it the few times he'd pull out obscenely from her pussy and then push his way back into her - it was all so breathtaking.

Thing is, at some point she looked over at me and saw me smiling and when I noticed she smiled back and with her left hand she patted the bed next to them for a moment and I knew she wanted me to come to them. By the time I got there she was too engrossed with him to notice. I slid off my pants and slid down my boxers and I actually felt relaxed masturbating while I was right there with them. I was low enough on the bed that Paul would have to turn back to see me, but Sue could see me when the turned her head to the left and our eyes met a few times and she smiled each time.

I was only a foot or two away from where he was thoroughly enjoying her pussy and yes - I admit it - seeing them up close and now, seeing they were both really into it - it did get to me - it made me hugely horny that he was in her bare and I was seeing it all so close. He'd push into her and then stay deep for a moment until he'd pull back. Each time he did she'd let out a louder and louder moan. My cock was hard as a rock and I began to notice so many other things. For one I noticed just how her hips shift back when she's really into it, her pussy was almost facing upwards receiving him at times. I also noticed just how wet the underside of his cock was and how her pussy lips clung to it as he pulled out of her. When he'd pull back but not all the way - it was so erotic to see him with that big head of his cock - to almost pull her open wide as he'd pull out and then - just before pulling out totally he'd plunge back into her making this slick sound and hearing her start to groan each time.

It'd been a while but I recognized the tell-tale signs. Just the way he stayed deep in her longer and longer after each time he'd push into her. That and how she began to sort of pull at his butt with her legs each time - I could only imagine she was feeling his cock swelling inside her each time. And then, I knew it was about to happen - like watching a porn movie - you can tell when the urge gets to be too much. His thrusts had been smooth and deep and they suddenly became more erratic and certainly deeper and more forceful - each time bringing a shriek from her. I was so into watching that just like when I'm watching a porn movie - sometimes when I get into it I forget to keep stroking - and that was how it was then - my hand stopped moving on my cock as I just watched. And a moment later sure enough he thrust into her one last time and then stayed in her and I watched. I could hear him for sure but what I watched, I couldn't help it from being so close, was seeing his cock pulse several times and seeing him push gently in and out of her just a tiny bit the whole time as his moaning got louder and louder.

She let out a loud and deep moan that could mean nothing other than she could feel it and after a second of him being so still and deep in her, he began to fuck her again with deep firm thrusts and this time, the thick off-whitish color of his cum became visible around his cock as he fucked her until she screamed and thrashed back and forth beneath him. Finally, as their motions stopped, my hand resumed it's gentle stroking and I realized my cock was now hugely hard!!! I was starting to feel incredibly horny as they lay together kissing all but ignoring me. Her legs were still around his and I became incredibly aware that they were lying there kissing and caressing each other and his cock was still buried inside her.

Finally they began to move and both looked over to me as he rose up off of her. This time it was Paul who said it, again as if it were nothing out of the ordinary, "want to watch me pull out of her?". I got up on my elbow and they both smiled as I literally watched him slide his wet cock out of her vagina. She lay there motionless and even from the side angle I had, I could see she was lying there on display for both of us. I leaned up more and I could see what he'd done to her, I could take the next few paragraphs to describe it - how reddened she was, how open she was, how wet she was. Indeed I'd even say I was sort of in a trance.

That is until Sue moved a bit and I looked up at her and saw that she was staring at me and then she said, quietly almost low enough that I don't think Paul heard, she said "you want to go now?". Paul had moved off of her and was lying on her right side facing me. Sue lay on her back between us with her knees bent and her legs spread invitingly. Paul didn't say a word but it was more that he was so focused on Sue and caressing her breasts and such that he didn't really look up at me.

It was now or never and when she put her hand out towards me it gave me the courage to do it. I leaned over and took a foil packet out and I tore it open. Sue was watching me but Paul was not. I fumbled with it for a second but I'll say that my hard-cock never wavered once!!!! The thoughts and feelings I had opening the condom were incredibly arousing. I can't explain it but in that moment - I recognized that I was incredibly turned on about what I was about to do - to demonstrate to both of them that I like what we're doing. But even more than that, it felt incredible to me to just let myself accept that it turned me on that I was about to fuck my wife but that I wasn't going to cum in her - and nor was I going to really feel her either.

I can't explain it any more than saying it's something that I want - it feels so weird to say this but at that moment - I truly wanted to leave it as something special between her and Paul - and that I wanted what she and I had to be different than that. I don't know if I truly want to cede this forever to Paul, but I do know that on Saturday evening when it was my turn to kneel between her legs - I do know that I definitely did not want to have her bare. She didn't say anything at the time but did say last night that she loved watching me pull the condom on and she admitted too that she wanted me to share in the special moment with her and that she even wanted to cum with me - but that she also felt incredibly turned on that I wasn't going to cum in her.

Paul did look up as I moved between her legs and he pulled back a bit from her as I leaned forward but he didnt' say a word as I entered her and let my mind imagine what my cock wasn't feeling directly. My god her pussy was so hot inside - hot and wet and open!!!! She moaned as I entered her (she still says my thick cock feels wonderful when I'm fully in her and the thick base of my cock is spreading her open - something she doesn't get from Pauls cock being so skinny). As soon as I was in her fully I stayed in her deep and I remember the feeling of realizing that I was fucking her in front of Paul with the condom on and it was pretty freaking intense!!!!

She moaned to me that I should "come on honey and feel good with me" but I also felt that she wasn't really responding as well as I'd hoped. Sure she felt great but something felt different, as if she felt like she was holding back or something. LOL - she admitted to me last night that it was a little different than she'd expected it to be with me fucking her right after Paul. And that it was HER who felt a little self-conscious at how she was responding to me with Paul right there.

Nonetheless, the more we fucked, the less either of us focused on Paul and indeed, within just a few moments she had her legs wrapped around mine and we were kissing passionately ourselves. I could feel her moan as we kissed and I thrust into her. I'm not sure if she'd even wanted to respond how she did but with her pussy so slick and open how could she not.

She came at least once or twice with me, not the huge type of orgasm that Paul had just given her, but they were noticeable both that I could feel her tense up and tighten up her pussy on my cock but that I could also feel her get wetter after each one. And while I'd hoped to keep going for a while and for me to make her cum like he did, I also knew from how she was that it wasn't to be - she was the one who felt self-conscious beneath me and while I think she did cum with me at the end, it was far more my pleasure for sure. Once I got going in her to be honest, I forgot all about the condom and that Paul was right there and whatever he might have been thinking. Sue knew I was ready and when she knew I was right there she pulled her legs back for me and said loud enough for Paul to hear ".... come on baby, it's your turn now....". And sure enough - a moment later I let out a grunt and I thought I might have hurt her at how hard I pushed into her for that first push into orgasm. I plunged into her and let go with a flood of semen that felt incredible at the time.

It was over far too soon though. I'd really let go and was hugging her when I felt her gently push at me and I realized that it wasn't my night with her. Paul had sat up at some point and while he was there, I don't think he was as into watching me fuck her as I was watching him. Sue however did get up on her elbows and watch me pull out and when I was half-way out she reached down and grabbed my cock and the condom on it to not slip off. Paul looked over and I did feel a little self-conscious for a moment until I realized that my cock was still pretty hard and that I'd put quite a load into the tip of the condom. Dare I say it let me feeling a bit more masculine? Sue pulled me down for another kiss and she whispered "that was fun baby".