Our "new norm"

[SoonToBe]

So, I wasn't surprised totally by her request on Wednesday. When we packed for the trip she'd told me to bring some condoms with us so I had hoped all along that she'd be in the mood and I guess watching me on Monday and Tuesday had gotten to her by Wednesday. We had some wine and spent some time getting horny together during foreplay. It felt so good to feel her sucking my cock and getting me really worked up. In exchange my fingers and tongue confirmed her readiness including edging her repeatedly and feeling and tasting her wetness growing.

We talked pretty openly and I'll share more of that in a bit but on Wednesday night it seemed to morph into more physical than mental stimulation for both of us. After pulling on the condom we proceeded to fuck for a long time, changing positions repeatedly, her orgasming several times while building up to what I knew would be a noisy climax for both of us. It seemed like it had been a long time since I'd fucked her last and even with the condom, the feelings were intense finally being inside her again and feeling so close with her. We kisssed passionately at times, and during other - like when I was behind her in the doggy position I used my fingers to spread her pussy and butt cheeks apart and I made her scream as I played with her ass.

In the end though, I knew that there was only one way she wanted it to end and I waited until she felt she was ready and she clearly communicated that when she abruptly pulled off of my cock and rolled onto her back and pulled her legs back eagerly for me. I can't describe how it felt to see her spread beneath me - wet and open for me (even if I couldn't feel it totally). All sorts of thoughts and visions were in my head as I pushed into her for what I knew was one last bout with her. I told her some of what was in my head -how I loved how her pussy felt finally being in her again - that was the main thing that really got me going - but what also really got me going and I told her so was knowing that I wasn't going to cum in her. She squealed out loud when I told her that really turned me on and sure enough - a minute later that thought pushed me over the edge.

With all the buildup - Sue was right there when I came and a moment later she followed and even through the condom I could feel her wetness and hear the squishing sounds. I stayed hard - I wanted to enjoy every moment of it - and when I felt her body start to tremble I really started in at her as hard and deep as I could get and my god did she explode. Thank god the kids were out or they'd have come running from the moan and sounds she let out. I kept going until she collapsed on the bed and only then did I slip out of her - still hard but now softening. And I'll say that I was hugely proud of myself when I looked at the seemingly huge load of cum trapped in the condom.

 

[SoonToBe]

Of course we did other stuff - hiked most days except for when it was raining. Saw some beautiful sights, spent some quality time as a family.

But most nights Sue and I found time to take some alone walks where it was quiet. It was during one of those that she revealed some things to me that I had assumed but now had confirmed.

One was that she is finding herself on new ground with Paul. She says that this is maybe the first time she's enjoyed just a sexual relationship since college. She mentioned Greg, the guy that had the skinny cock in college and who regularly had anal sex with her. She said to me at one point that she thinks he was one of the last guys she was really into for just the sex and not trying to think about where a relationship was going all the time. And she said that she feels that way about Paul right now, that the sex is incredibly good but also incredibly easy to enjoy. The example she gave me was that when she goes to leave him that it's always just "see you soon" and never "okay, when are we going to get together again", as if it is something that has become very easy for her to accept. I told her that I'd thought that for a long time now but she says that it's only a realization she's come to recently, that she doesn't feel the need to over-think what's going on and that, just like Greg, she enjoys having sex with him as often or as little as it happens.

She was quite frank and open with me and said that she enjoys sex with Paul immensely now and that it's not necessarily because of what I like any more, she actually said it quite clearly that she feels very free with Paul to enjoy him however she wants and admitted that she has put a desire to be with him over knowing that I am horny several times now, again something she wouldn't have done or felt comfortable about in the not too distant past.

Now she told me she feels very comfortable with Paul about most everything - obviously she shared that she feels very comfortable being naked with him and says that some of the feelings she had to combat in the past have gone away. I asked her more and she said that until somewhat recently, she admits she felt some reluctance somewhere to simply going to his place and wanting sex, but that is now pretty much gone and she accepts that she is basically his fuck-buddy and he is hers and that she said she is as relaxed with him as she was "spending time" (which I know meant long times in bed just being naked and sexual with him when they weren't actually fucking) with Greg way back when (yes, she referred to him more than I can ever recall, but fondly more than anything) and said that she liked the ease with which they'd simply start to fuck for a while and then even stop and take a break and then start again. I could hear it in her voice though, it was sort of an excitement at what she was feeling and I told her so.

As we talked she began to lead up to what she was hoping for after our son goes back to school - some of what we'd talked about already, hopefully Paul spending 2 nights with her at our house - and now I started to see what she is wanting when he is here. And she came out and said it, that she wants to feel like she did with Greg when she's with Paul at our house. She started to say that she didn't want to have to worry about getting dressed all the time but then seemed to stop and backtracked and said she'd likely just wear a loose robe around him but wanted to be clear that she wants to feel she is his when he is here and vice-versa. This was earlier last week and while I don't recall this exact conversation, it did end with her pulling me to her and kissing me and promising me that "...it'll still be fun for you, just.... a bit more of it....".

What I was surprised most by was when she steered the conversation to Paul and I. She actually came out and said that she'd told Paul that I am still very self-conscious when I was around him or them. She said he actually laughed, that I could be there while they had passionate sex together but that I felt self-conscious? I told her that I wasn't happy with this but she said it had been a few days and even weeks earlier that she'd first brought it up with him. When I asked what she'd told him and what he'd said - she gave me an example of my reluctance to go down on her pussy and lick her after Paul's finished in her. That he knows that I want to and that I do at other times and that I shouldn't feel awkward or weird about it because he doesn't think that way about it. But in my defense, he did say that he definitely understood how I could feel self-conscious about it and he said himself that he doesn't think he could do it if it was another guys' cum in her other than his (she's long said he's like me that his own cum doesn't bother him).

As we talked she said that maybe we could start where I'd hold her hand more or even kiss her or if I wanted, caress her breasts - of course, only when she wanted - but then she surprised me and said that if I wanted, she'd be much more inclined to let me do stuff with her if it was all part of the sex with Paul - and that it's only afterwards, when Paul's gone or she's come home, that she feels she doesn't want to share as much with me. But as she put it, if it's part of her fun with Paul, then she would be okay with it.

I told her that I hoped she wasn't going to suggest me doing anything with Paul and she gave me an immediate "ewwwwww, grosssss" response and she said again that she was still doing this more as a way to make me feel better about it all while still giving me the feelings I wanted. She even said at one point that, as long as I used a condom, that I could even - at times - take a turn with her if I wanted. And she reminded me that he'd already said that was "pretty cool" that we were playing around with condoms like that.

The last part I'll end with is that again she brought up her sister and brother-in-law and how they still use condoms even now where she's likely unable to get pregnant any more. I asked her at one point why she keeps bringing it up and she said that she wants me to see that other guys are okay using them. I keep telling her its different because she has a bf that she goes bare with but her answer is always that it's the same for Bob (brother-in-law) and I and that it's only different to her and her sister. She asked me at one point if I ever thought about the future and how I'd feel if she wanted me to use condoms for a longer period of time - and she came out and asked me if I thought the pleasure of not cumming in her would ever decrease. Before I could answer she told me that it made her really horny that I've only cum in her 4 or 5 times this year in total and again said how romantic and beautiful it was that I want her to share that with Paul. I never did give her an answer to this question.

I need to run to some afternoon conference calls - I think that at least hits the highlights for now.

 

[far2easy]

Well played by both of you, looks like you will all soon enjoy cleaning up from time to time! Sounds like a great week all ariund ans the future is bright!

 

[Knk069]

Welcome back Steve. I'm glad you had a great time away with Sue. She is a gem. She always find some new little twist to your journey. You are a lucky man.

I enjoyed the description of your middle of the night fun and your cleanup. I used to do that when I was with my ex who wasn't sexual. Now I enjoy cleanup duty with my wife. Now if only I could get her to start cuckolding me ...

 

[SoonToBe]

I think the other thing that we talked about that I overlooked was when we talked a bit more about the future and she asked me when/if I thought my cuckold/beta desires may ease up. I wasn't sure which direction she was hoping I'd take it so I just told her honestly that after 8+ years of her going with other men, that my desires hadn't let up at all and that in many ways, maybe even more now, I am still incredibly turned on about it all - and that I still feel this sense of satisfaction about what we're doing.

I wasn't sure if that was what she'd wanted to hear but was comforted when she said that I do see much more relaxed and content sexually now even though we have less sex together - she thought that was the really interesting part, that less could mean more in some ways. I asked her if that was the answer she wanted to hear and she smiled and said that all she can say is that she too is very content right now and she giggled and playfully patted her pussy and said "this is pretty satisfied now too!".

She again brought up her sister and brother-in-law and asked me if I was happy thinking about the future and continuing to use condoms together - again before I could answer she added "it's really okay with me baby, it's kind of crazy but I can see how it still turns you on" and I sort of answered that I guessed that would be our sign, if I stopped responding (and performing) as I do when we have sex together. She hugged me and again told me how romantic and how much she loved me that I would do all this with her.

There's a bit more to that conversation (which continues on to this day) that I'll try to share later today.

 

[SoonToBe]

Just realized my PM inbox was full here - just deleted some old stuff....

 

[SquirmingSub]

Steve as always you do post some great details of your experiences. Sounds to me as if Sue is preparing you for what could be the end of bare intercourse between you two and the end of you releasing in her without the condom on. If your wife (Sue) is anything like my wife, she does prefer to be fluid exclusive with one man.

 

[SoonToBe]

Well, she just left and made it quite clear that she'll be seeing Paul this afternoon and that "maybe" she'll "share with me" when she gets home.
I have to say, somehow it seemed even more exciting to me seeing her showering and dressing this morning.

Squirm, your thought is somewhat a part of what we'd talked about regarding how I felt about my desire not seeming to wane. I admit that it scares me in many ways but when we talked we both agreed that we aren't making any decisions about long-term, more that we'll just see how things go on their own and she giggled and said that it's fun to talk with me about it and see my response and how it seems to turn me on. I admit that I am still crazy-turned-on by all of this and seeing her preparing to go off to Paul's today was no different than before, if not seeming to maybe even turn me on more.

I think that's the thing that came out of our long talks for me, it's that neither of us wants to push things along but that we both admit we are curious about how things will progress on their own. It has become a lot easier and less awkward now for us to talk about things and I have told her many times now that I am still incredibly aroused by using condoms with her knowing she is only going bare with Paul. She says that we should just accept what turns us on and let it go at that. I have to say, it's very comforting to me to hear her taking this kind of tone and position - yes, I know it's her that has the ultimate benefit from it - but at the same time, I know she is being genuine and loving when she says that we each have our own kink's (or perversions) and that as long as she doesn't find it offensive, that she's okay with it if it is what I want.

It's weird to be able to say that I want it, but as I've started to accept that I really do enjoy this type of play between us, that I am looking at others who I'd long ago said "not me" or "no way", that now I can look at them and say "if it turns you on". I wouldn't have believed that I would feel this way, feeling strangely satisfied at knowing she is with him.

And, I will say again, it is a crazy feeling that I can only say really has to be love that Sue and I can talk about this so openly.

 

[dana007]

STB
So was Sue very happy to get back. togather with Paul after a week apart. did she stay later than normal .to make up for lost time.
keep us posted.

 

[SoonToBe]

Dana - no - Sue was home pretty much normal time yesterday but the smile on her face left no doubt of where she was. I had hoped she'd have wanted to have a little fun with me last night but she said that she would prefer to wait till tonight. Our son is still home so we are still working with the guise of us both going out tonight and we are going to time our return home accordingly. Our son did let us know that either later tomorrow (Friday) or early Saturday that he'll be heading back to school - Sue already whispered to me last night that she's going to tell Paul to come over on Saturday and yes, possibly spend the night here.

We talked a little bit more and I told her that I thought them being here at our house would maybe make it easier for me to join them as she's suggested. At least I'm hoping it will.

 

[SoonToBe]

Well, she texted me that she left work early and is already at Pauls and that they are going to have some dinner together and then have some fun later. She did say she expected to be home early which surprised me a bit. I was going to reply back but then thought that I didn't want to interrupt them and that I'm hoping her early return home later will mean she'll be in a playful mood with me. She said she'd text me later on when she was leaving so we can coordinate our return home together although our son has already told me that he's going out tonight (enjoying his last days of freedom before going back to school) so our planning may be for naught if he's not home. Who knows, if he leaves within the next hour or so I may not even have to go anywhere to bide the time till she comes home.

 

[SoonToBe]

Well, for whoever is keeping track, I thought I would continue and share that last night when she came home she was quite playful. I asked her what was up and she said that they hadn't really gone at it all night as they normally would have and when I asked why she casually said that he (they?) both wanted to save something for tomorrow.

Our son is leaving just after lunch, apparently there's a party tomorrow evening that he'd like to be back at school in time for. Sue will be happy to hear that as she told me she'd not invited Paul over until after dinner thinking our son was going to be home. It wouldn't surprise me if he showed up earlier now that the coast is clear.

When we went up to the bedroom she offered to let me undress her and when I asked "anything else?" implying the question of will she let/want me to do anything else with her she smiled and said "yes baby". I guess I was too eager without thinking about it all as I pulled her top off she reached behind and unclipped her bra. My hands fumbled to unbutton her pants while I stared at her bare breasts. I know she would have let me lick or hold them but I have to say that the arousal I felt at just looking at them and knowing that Paul had them in his mouth just a short while earlier, my god that was intense enough.

I slid her pants down and she smiled at how I looked up at her from down on my knees as I helped her step out of them and then I slowly slid her panties down. I have often said it feels like a first date when it's the first time you get in a girls panties - and last night was just as exciting if not more so because I knew what I'd find. I wasn't disappointed. Her panties dropped to the floor and when I steadied her as she stepped out of them it was very obvious she spread her legs even more to let me see her. And see her I did. I was almost eye-level with her pussy and as she stepped aside I watched as her swollen pussy lips clung together for a moment before the separated so slowly and beautifully. Her button was very swollen and out of it's little hood and what was revealed between those swollen pussy lips was this crimson colored furrow that led downward to her obviously wet and open pussy. I felt frozen in place seeing her move like that - I barely realized I was still steadying her hip. All I can say is in that moment my cock began to throb like crazy and I felt myself begin to move my own hips just a bit unconsciously.

When I did look up at her she giggled and smiled - didn't need to say anything, she knew what was happening to me. She sat back and then lay back on the bed and again without saying anything, her motion to gently pull me with her followed by her hand guiding my head to what she wanted, I loved it!!!! I pushed her legs apart and back and she went right along with it and in doing so she put me face to face with her now well used pussy. It was open and wet and even in the dim light, I could tell she was still horny from how it glistened.

I hope to have the same desire tomorrow night as I felt last night when I leaned forward and licked and sucked her pussy clean! We've been talking a bit and she has come out and said that she thinks it'd be nice if I could "participate" with them in that way. I started slowly and ran my tongue up and down from just above her opening to just below her clit and she really began to moan. I slowly moved to going all the way around just the outside of her vagina, and I have to say it was so erotic when I reached the bottom part that I could more strongly taste Paul's cum. As I moved up the opposite side her moaning grew louder and louder until her hand came to the back of my head as she clearly wanted me to suck and lick at her clit. She came, rather easily, as I tended to her needs and gently licked at her button till her breathing began to seethe in and out and she let out a tell-tale moan.

I still hadn't penetrated her - not with my fingers and not with my tongue - and to be honest, i wasn't sure what she wanted so I took a deep breath and looked up at her and asked if I could "lick more deeply" and a moment later she gave me a moan that sounded quite clearly to be a yes.

She asked me after we were done if I thought she still felt "tight" and I told her honestly, that I do think she's a little looser but that after she'd been with Paul that I couldn't really be sure without a comparison. She giggled and asked me if I still liked how she felt and I gave her a glowing yes in return which seemed to make her, if anything, pull her legs back even more for me. It didn't take long before I was literally fucking her with my tongue and she was screeching out these deep sounds that made it clear that she was going to cum again and that it was going to be a bigger one.

I wasn't disappointed, with her hand on the back of my head one more time, I licked as deep in her as I could until she bucked up at me as she started to cum. I will be honest, feeling her and tasting her like that, yes, I so wanted to throw her legs back and take a turn myself with her. But at the same time I knew what we'd talked about and that when she hadn't tossed me a condom or said anything otherwise, I knew she didn't want me to fuck her last night. In a way it's what I had wanted, I need to get past my apprehension around Paul and maybe this weekend I'll get the desire up to don a condom and take a turn with her.

and - I should update this too - went into work today and found virtually no one there - a convenient fire-drill just before lunch offered me the perfect opportunity to slip away and come home and work the afternoon from here.

 

[peakmb]

Steve,
I noticed your opening line probably referring to the relative lack of responses to your recent posts. I would make one comment here. Your reporting of your conversations while away on holiday were at some deviance to your normal pattern whilst away like that. On almost every other holiday or time away without a lover, Sue has taken the opportunity to take you bare, either to remind you, reward you or simply because she wanted to. Not this time. It was also the perfect time to discuss not only the next few months but also at least a bit beyond that. Sue had previously indicated that Paul may not last the year out, this now doesn't seem to be the case. Yet neither of you mentioned it beyond agreeing to simply take each month as it comes. You yourself indicating you currently have no intention of playing your joker to end it all on your terms still had no response from Sue that she might (as the Alpha) end it on hers. Yet more conversations indicated that some things might get more restrictive for you and that it could even escalate above that as Sue said she had already continued on her path several times when she clearly knew you would have wanted her to offer you more. This is by implication clearly into an area that you must NOT be happy with totally beyond your self confessed admittance that you like the angst generated by her denial.

So where does that leave us. We wonder where this new treatment stems from. Yet again what is really driving Sue. Again what is driving you is clearer but in fact irrelevant as it is Sue that is in charge and determining outcomes until you say NO. Which you and I see no sign of anytime soon. Several of your posts hinted at more detail (that may offer some further insight) just a little later - which then doesn't appear in your next post. This is not a criticism, just a function of the way you update when you get the time and with whatever is on your mind at that moment. Something that has made your threads so unique over the years. Still, it leaves me for one in a somewhat difficult area. Your position appears to have changed or evolved again with no apparent reason and we can either offer unqualified support (and some do - up to them), unqualified criticism (they tend not to stay around), or advice and comment on some level (most of us I suppose). The thing is, this is difficult without more of the building blocks of WHY. Much as I enjoy reading about your excited reaction to it, before really trying to comment I'm waiting a little to find out a little more about what might be behind it.

The quest to understand women ...

 

[Cuck-Rick]

Steve,
I don't comment on you post very much, but you can be assured that I'm keeping "track".

 

[far2easy]

Well i for one look forward to every post you write. Many times i dont have insight or direction like others here do but i can appreciate where you are in your journey and being the clean up man sounds like a perfect position for you. Ever think you would get to ride underneath sue while she is taking it doggy?

 

[buds13]

yes look forward to your updates. Only thing better would be pictures

 

[SoonToBe]

Peak - I don't know how to answer your question of why - but knowing Sue is right now getting herself all ready (shower and such) for Paul while I'm writing this with a massive hardon has me wickedly excited.

I can only share what Sue has told me. The way I see it and based on how she explained it I think I almost understand her and yes, in many ways my actions have led to her current position. If I can figure out how to explain it. I see it this way, she was looking for things to escalate with her previous boyfriends, escalating into this desire of hers to have this full-blown affair that she had long spoken of. But what I understand is that my coming out with my beta desires let her direct herself towards Paul. Maybe it's because I felt safe with him that I finally felt I could tell her of my thoughts that for me, I can see were long in the making.

While she hasn't said this exactly, I think if I were to say it to her this way, she would immediately say yes. All the time she's been with other guys she's seemed to have wanted more - more of something or more of anything or more of everything. I think she truly wanted things to have gone further with Robert but he wanted something she couldn't or wouldn't give him. But for me, seeing her wanting it and her finally accepting that she wanted it more than he or I did, that when I saw that, I think it gave me the courage to finally say that if she wants it, then it triggered me to finally let me let go of the alpha role I think I was clinging to and to enjoy more of what I didn't feel I could with Robert.

She had said so many times that she wanted this big full-blown affair because I think - and I think we both even thought this - that for her to have the kind of sex and the kind of feelings she wanted with another guy - that she needed to have something of a heavy emotional nature to it for her to enjoy the sex as much as she wanted to. So to me, as far as what she's said, when I came out and said that I wanted to be the beta with her, that let her have what she wanted with Paul without having to have all of the emotional stuff. If anything, she's even pulled back a little emotionally with him - I feel that because we spend a lot more time close together talking and such where it's very intimate and that's not what we were doing before.

Anyway - more later - she's done in the shower and I want to watch her finish up getting ready....

 

[SquirmingSub]

Steve - Yes I am one of those that continues to follow your post, while I may not always post I do always read. It would seem that your relationship with Sue continues to evolve. As long as you are truly ok with and have embraced your beta side, it would seem to me that your correct, this has allowed for Sue to become much more open about her own desires. As you and Sue continue to become much more comfortable with the evolution within your relationship each of you will find new ways to enjoy each of your evolving respective roles. You are now seeing something that I mentioned some months back, the intimacy, the emotions will continue to grow between even with the reduced traditional sexual contact. Enjoy the journey.

 

[far2easy]

Did you muster the courage to dive in and enjoy their creampie?

 

[Jaxunman]

Steve, I don't comment much either, but I still keep up with your postings. To be honest, it is the only good reason I can find to even come to this site anymore. I find the dynamic that you three are currently in to be quite interesting.

My view of your current dynamic is much more simplistic but similar to others that have posted. Taking out all the emotions and labels that seem to trip so many up and can make people feel attacked at times, I think you are still the one ultimately in charge of your and Sue's futures. As with all of Sue's former lovers, Paul is no threat to the relationship. Just like all who have preceded him, he has built in safeties that limit how far anything could go.

Sue has placed the ultimate control with you. She is merely going to enjoy herself, have great sex with a lover she has found to be very compatible and safe. With her knowing your innermost fantasies, Sue can explore her sexual freedom and push your boundaries/limits to her maximum enjoyment before you invoke and pull the plug on things.

If there is a fly in the ointment, I think it is the fact that you and Sue's fun remains so critically dependent on the third person in the equation. Paul is very unlikely to cause you enough angst and nervousness to stop everything. In that regard, he is also very unlikely to push boundaries and limits that would excite the both of you. Sue is comfortable with him, as you have mentioned often in your posts.

I know you have stated a desire to just lets things happen as they will. Only time will tell if things escalate between her and Paul now that autumn has arrived and the nest is empty again. I, for one, hope there will be an escalation of things between them. Something that will throw you off balance a bit. Something that will amp up Sue's excitement levels when she is seeing him. Otherwise, I fear Paul will become like an old shoe to her. Someone she still enjoys sexually but begins to gradually be less excited about being with.