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Our "new norm"

  • Thread starterSoonToBe
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Back in the groove, Steve. Back in the groove.
 
Well, she's still in a pissy mood for the most part. I was going to joke with her that she needs a good fucking but I know she wouldn't take it the right way, nor is she looking at me to satisfy her need. She told me when I was staring at her when we got up and she took a quick shower. As she stood in front of the mirror she turned to me and said "it's not happening, at least not now" which usually means her mind isn't on sex with me.

I shouldn't be surprised by this, we had quite the talk last night and when I told her that even without having much sex with her, that I still was enjoying the beta role. She told me that she was also enjoying it and now that things have been more out in the open between us, that she feels good not having sex with me "until I really want it" and she pretty much told me that when she wants it most with me is a day or two after she's been with Paul and is still feeling good and satisfied from him, that she looks at me and can say that she wants me to be with her. She told me that it's not that she doesn't want sex with me and even joked that "your big cock still gets me wet" but that she wants this to be exciting and fulfilling for both of us and that happens most when she focuses on Paul. She teased me and picking up on my more openness about wanting the beta role, she teased me and patted her pussy and told me that "i guess only alpha men get to have me".

The more we talked the more she continued to tell me that if I am enjoying being the "beta" that she is understanding it more and that while it's maybe not what she would have chosen for our roles, she did say that it's been a long time coming now and that as we both know, the signs of this were apparent even years ago and she's again said that if it's what makes me feel good, that we shouldn't really try to fight it. And she said that she now gets this very sexy feeling when she thinks about me using condoms with her and at one point she said that it turned her on to think that I might not cum in her for the rest of this year. I began to groan that I wasn't sure about that and she quieted me and giggled and said again that "baby, you know if you want to be this beta thing that means you're going to use condoms with me" and she said "that's what I meant before.". She hugged me and kissed me and said "baby, that's why I keep telling you it's okay if it's what turns you on".

Anyway as we were heading obviously towards going to sleep last night - she offered to tease me more if "you know, you wanted to do it tonight". I thought about it but I think a part of me was hoping that maybe tonight she'd be wanting me. And yet, my god, the thought she she might just want to wait till she sees Paul on Wednesday is intensely arousing to me as I'm quite sure she's masturbated with "Jim" or another toy in the past few days for her to be not giving in to wanting me. That'll be something I think I might tell her in return, that I'd like to maybe know about that when she does it even if I'm not around. It just gets me horny to think of her pleasuring herself like that.
 
Classic cuckold angst Steve. You want her bare with increasing desperation but yet you want to be the beta more. Quite clever of Sue to have left is so open to your switching back like that. I suspect she'll put some test on it to make sure you mean it too. Stops you switching back for a weekend. Of course as the Alpha she could just choose to do it anyway. That uncertainty is angst creating too. Overall she's got your number quite well. You're just lucky it's what she wants herself at the moment too. As it's not what she's always wanted in the past she could always switch herself. Interesting conflict there if a less Alpha Sue wanted an equal or Alpha husband. Whose desires would prevail do you think?
 
You seem to be a little irritated by being denied last saturday? Im guessing that once the kids go back to school there will be less condom sex for you as she will be able to more freely give her pussy to paul. Plus i think it was very nice of you giving them space in your marital bed. You still should have been nicer to paul when he was leaving. Im sure that wasnt comfortable for him. When are you empty nesters again, and has there been any talk of them going away for a weekend together?
 
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Steve - sounds has if everything is moving forward with progress. Time will tell once your college kids are back in school and Sue has more time to be with Paul.
 
Peak/Far2/Squirm - I think what I'm having the most problems isn't with Sue but in my own head. Sue and I talked more last night when she said that if I was hoping to wait for sex with her, that it won't likely be till Friday or over the weekend. In talking with her she told me that I seemed anxious and that I should remember that I'm the beta and that right now, she wants the type of sex she feels (for right now) she can only have with Paul. At one point she even said to me that she needs to feel him cum inside her, as she said it, to have the kind of orgasm she needs (and yes, she said she needs it). But what she then led the conversation to was that I seemed anxious about what she's doing and she asked me why I felt that way. Before I could really answer she told me that she's been emailing some of her pen-pals who have been following - I guess here and via email with her - and she (and they) say that I haven't really accepted that I am the beta now. She said that "you want to be" but then you seem sullen and unhappy when I follow-through on it for real.

I told her what I've been thinking too and can admit it here - that in a way I wish Paul were more of a demonstrative or dominant kind of guy with her. I told her that I thought it would be easier for me if he weren't such a "plain normal" kind of guy. She sat next to me and we talked for a while and she said that it shouldn't matter how he is, that it's how I am with her and how she is with me that matters. She asked me in a very close and personal way whether I still wanted all of what I'd said I did as a beta - that she'd look to Paul when she wanted or needed sex. When I said yes, she said that I then need to accept how she feels right now - that the only man she wants to spread her legs for is Paul and that she wants to "feel like a woman" which I later deduced means she wants him to cum in her and for her to cum with him that way. She held my hand and said that she knows I am capable of making her feel that but since I "want to be the beta" that she is learning to direct her desires as I'd asked.

She suggested that I masturbate when and how I want to and to not feel like I should wait for her. And she added that while that may have worked in the past, and that she recognizes that it's a compliment that I want to wait for her, at the same time, she no longer feels that she has to have sex with me if I've been waiting for her and added that if I was waiting to have sex with her this week, that I should have enjoyed my right hand a lot more instead of feeling anxious all the time.

We started to talk about the future a little and she asked me if I still wanted to be the beta, whether I was accepting of what it meant. At first I thought she meant the waiting thing but then I realized that she was also talking about condoms and she held my hand and she said that she's actually come to think of this as something beautiful we are sharing and that she realizes it's a loving gesture under it all to give her this exclusivity with Paul. But she also said that it is starting to really turn her on that this is part of our sexual relationship together now and she said that in a way, it signifies my beta-ness (her words) in that how she feels right now is the perfect example and she looked at me and said "you can't give me the sex I need right now" as my beta. And I understood it all right then. I started to talk about the future and she said that we should talk more about the present first before we talk about the future. I told her that she makes me nervous and concerned when she keeps bringing up her sister and brother-in-law and she just says that she wants me to think about things and what other people do.

Gotta run into the office today.
 
Steve,
Yet again Sue is making it crystal clear what is happening and why. It is interesting that she seems to be saying that her current stance is because she wanted to satisfy your desire to be beta and that her role as Alpha merely flows from that. Hence her offer to switch back easily and at your request. However she is adding a warning. That she is starting to really enjoy the alpha role in her own right. That might become less easy to switch back from. However you finally resolve this it still is clear that Paul remains a cipher. The human dildo who makes no demands and poses no threat. As such the current status quo could last for some time. Paul isn't going to anything to end it. Sue won't initiate a switch back until you say so and you show no signs of wanting it in spite of your increasing distress at its effect. Who will blink first?
 
Peak
Very well put will Sue, Paul, or Steve blink first.i guess we all will have to wait and see.
keep us posted.
 
stb,
Sounds like things are really going to start to heating up again with Paul and Sue. They are probably looking forward to the kids going back to school to be able to spend more time together. Have you or Sue made any mention that in about 2 weeks will be the one year anniversary of them being together? How do you feel about that?
 
Going to be interesting to see how this fall goes.
 
Well, it was quite revealing when she came home last night just a little later than usual - at least it was to me, I doubt our kids even noticed anything out of the ordinary but I could see it in her eyes that she'd gotten at least some of what she'd wanted. She smiled but we didn't talk or really get together too much until later in the evening when she told me that "Paul was wonderful..... Just what I needed" and I had to laugh and agree that she certainly seemed less anxious. As if she knew what I was thinking she told me that I was "surely waiting till after tomorrow" if I was going to be doing anything with her. I'd like to say that I found her wet panties in the hamper or that there was a wet-spot on the back of her skirt or whatever, but actually, even when she got changed for bed, other than the obvious redness around her pussy and her breasts, there wasn't any other sign of her fun with Paul which made me think that they both may have waited for more time tonight.

When we got into bed I told her that I was horny and she said she'd like to watch me masturbate, she added that she just wanted to watch and then said that she'd like to hear what has me so horny. I could see her nipples through the thin material of her nightshirt and that was actually enough for me to really get horny about much less what was in my head. It felt so much like a resumption of our Wednesday rituals and I am a little embarassed at how quickly and eagerly I got naked in bed next to her. I saw her smiling and it really made me feel good when she came right up next to me and kissed my shoulder and neck and whispered that she loved to watch me and as I started to stroke my cock she whispered "thank you" in my ear. I turned to look at her questioningly and she just said "you've been wonderful about everything baby".

I know that I've felt comfortable on Wednesdays before but lying there with her last night, I think I may be finally starting to really accept things. I told her as I got harder and harder that it did turn me on that she had so wanted to have sex with Paul. I even told her that it turned me on that I knew she wanted him to cum in her. She moaned softly as I stroked and talked and she encouraged me to tell her more about how I felt. And I did so. I still felt a little awkward but I just let myself relax and I told her that while I had really wanted to have sex with her for the past week, that I also was so turned on that she wanted to "save herself" for Paul and I told her that I could see it on her face when she came home earlier. She murmured and told me "thank you" again as I talked but the way she said it was so reassuring. She asked me how I was feeling and whether it was good for me. As an example of how I can feel myself getting more comfortable, I told her without any hesitation that as strange as it sounded, that I felt incredible about it and that while I surely missed feeling her, that at the same time it gave me the most intense sexual feelings and I admitted that masturbating was very satisfying. She moaned softly and she said she could tell from how much I seemed to cum lately.

She encouraged me to continue talking and telling her what turned me on and she said "it's okay if it's different baby, I still love hearing what turns you on". I admit it wasn't easy but I tried to talk and tell her what was in my head. I told her that it turned me on that she wanted him so much and that she wanted her pussy and her desires to be satisfied by him and not me. I went further though and I told her that it really turned me on that I was the one doing it and that it turned me on in such a deep way to know that I want her to be with Paul sexually and to feel the longing and desire for her but that she'll only do it with me when she wants to. It wasn't easy but I told her that it turned me on to deny myself sexual pleasure with her and that it made me feel strangely fulfilled to know she is having that pleasure with him.

She knew I was getting closer to cumming and she pulled up the front of her night shirt and I could feel her bare body against my side and hip. I can't explain the feelings that I had but it seemed like I could say anything and everything that was in my head, so I said it. I told her that one of the most exciting things I can think of is thinking/knowing she is fucking Paul and that they are sharing cumming together. My cock was so hard as I just let it go and I told her that I loved that he knew her so intimately now and that he was sharing the most intense thing a couple can do together and that it turned me on that she was doing it only with him. She moaned deeply next to me and I would have sworn she was masturbating but I knew she wasn't. She whispered in my ear that "at first it was hard for me to let go" (and I realized she was referring to sex with me) and she continued and said "but now, it's so much a part of what I want to feel" .... I know I was really stroking away and I know she was saying stuff like that - it wasn't overtly sexual - she wasn't telling me about her being filled with cum - but instead she was telling me that she was really enjoying the sex with him and how she was truly coming to enjoy it for herself and not because of me. I wasn't shy and I told her that it turned me on so to think of her lying next to me with her pussy full of Pauls cum. I just know that by the end when I was so close and I heard her say that ".... I love cumming with him...." - it was just how she said it that set me off. I grunted with a sudden burst of arousal that surprised even me and I felt a spurt of cum shoot out of me like I haven't felt in maybe decades and even more surprised at several more that even brought about a deep moan from Sue. It felt so good to stroke my cock and keep going even after it was just a dribble - each stroke felt so awesome.

When I had finally exhausted myself I was lying there motionless for a moment and then she surprised the heck out of me. She leaned over and took my softening and still leaking cock into her mouth and she sucked me gently - knowing that her gentle touch with her tongue on the underside of my cock would give me the last few waves of an orgasm - and wow, did it. I felt my body spasm one last time and I think even managed one last little squirt into her mouth. I know my cock was totally soft when she pulled her mouth off it and came up to kiss me.

As we kissed she looked into my eyes and me into hers and she told me she loved me and I hugged her back and told her the same. It was kind of a surreal moment as I was lying there with my stomach and chest streaked with cum, but we kissed and it somehow felt so comfortable and so close to her at that moment. When she pulled back from the kiss she looked at me and just said "do you want it?" I knew what she meant and I nodded my head and said softly "yeah". A huge smile came over her face as she sat up onto her elbow and began to play with my cum. She told me how erotic and horny it made her to see it "whether on your stomach like this or, you know, in a condom" and she proceeded to play with it. Putting it between her fingers and feeling how sticky it is. I licked a few drops off her finger at first and then she brought up a bigger dollop to share with me. Each time she'd put her fingers in my mouth as soon as she'd pull them out she'd lean in for a very-tongue-heavy french kiss.

When I'd come back from washing up a bit in the bathroom she giggled and said "will that hold you through tomorrow now baby?".
 
So - to end this for now.

When I got back in bed we talked for a bit and she asked/told me that I was going to be on my own tonight and that she really didn't want me to be there with them tonight. I didn't ask but she said "I really need to be with him again and then, I promise, this weekend we can have our fun". I told her I understood and that it turned me on to hear her tell me that. Even after that primo orgasm a few minutes earlier, hearing her say that to me go me throbbing again. But I really did understand and it felt good to want it for her today with Paul.

This morning she was all bubbly and my god was she demonstrative - showering me with kisses and whether for my benefit or my teasing - she spent quite a bit of time prancing around the bedroom this morning naked with just the towel wrapped around her head. Several times she bent over right in front of me with her legs spread - I swear I saw her glance in the mirror and smile when she saw me looking - her pussy looked beautiful, with her vagina just opened slightly in the position she was in which got my cock going again thinking about her enjoying Paul tonight.

She has left a few pieces of lingerie at his place now such that she no longer really packs a bag to take with her but she did let me see the undies she picked today, a pale white bra with generous amounts of lace on the top of the cups almost revealing her nipples through the material and a matching pair of panties with lace that stopped just short of revealing her bare pussy beneath.

Is it so weird that I felt so good watching her with the bounce in her step knowing she wants to get fucked by her boyfriend tonight? I love being so horny and hard about it and feeling good about wanting her to be with him.
 
Sounds like you are in the groove! Here's to the hope that when the kids go back to school, you get more involved and maybe just maybe get more and more comfortable at releasing the tension during their love making! I think waiting does you some good!
 
Steve truly does seem that you and Sue have found what works best for the two of you as a couple in the short term and looking forward to continue reading over the long term. You have come a long way and it is good to have evolved of sorts. As always great post and good to read how you are feeling.
 
Steve, I was just wondering this. You mention about the times you watched Paul and Sue that he gives her oral and you watch them bang themselves senseless but you have never mentioned about Sue giving Paul oral. Have you had the pleasure seeing Sue orally pleasing him? Do you think this is something she only gives him in private? Does she still give you oral to completion? Have you ever thought about that her alpha gets BJs and cums in her mouth or even gives her facials?

Your cumming in condoms or all over yourself now, would it be hot to know Paul not only gets to fill her pussy but also gets to fill her butt, mouth and face?

Sue has said she can't get the type of sex she wants from you as a beta male, does that mean she likes being "taken" by an alpha and letting him have it all? Does Sue tell you any of the kinky things they do? Ever think while Sue is feeding you your own cum that she likes swallowing his cum but not yours?
 
Pnisnvh - I thought I'd posted here several times that while Sue does suck Pauls cock - given the choice she will almost always opt for him fucking her and cumming in her. I think I can count on one hand all the times she's sucked/swallowed in the past few years - even before that she'd always rather fucked than sucked. I think I posted early on that this was one of the things that had really turned me on about her, that if she'd been so into taking me bare all the time when we first started dating that was what she'd done with all the other guys. She's long said that she doesn't get much (other than some personal satisfaction) in sucking a guy off.

I do have some surprise news in that we are heading up to the mountains in NY state for most of this week. We're leaving later this afternoon - taking the kids away for a few days before they go back to school. As she put it when we finished fucking (finally) last night - "that ought to hold you for a little while" - meaning this week. I was surprised she'd forego time with Paul but she said (and it was quite obvious) that he'd literally fucked the shit out of her on Thursday night - she said she was even too "sore" on Friday night to let me have a turn with her. It was quite worth the wait though as we both orgasmed quite intensely - including her even having one of those intense post-fuck orgasms even without me cumming in her. I will even say I was a bit proud of myself at just how much was in the condom I filled.

I actually was surprised at first whenn Sue suggested we maybe do something nice for the kids before they go back - not that she was being nice to the kids but that she'd want to forego seeing Paul - that is until she reminded me what she wanted after the kids go back - for him to spend 2 nights at our house with her.

We're leaving in about 2 hours so not sure when I'll be back online.
 
Steve, thank you for the update on the forum, sounds as if all is going well and that the next 30 days may set the basis for the near future. Enjoy the journey.
 
Hooing you had some quality family time and had a nice break to speak with Sue about what lies ahead!
 
Good day Steve - How was your week with the family? With the kids heading back to school Sue will have more free time available for Paul. Enjoy the next few months.
 
Yes, we have returned. Actually we were all back home early on Saturday but we were busy packing up one kid to take off to school yesterday. The other departs later this week, so by next weekend, the empty-nest will have returned.

It's interesting going away with the kids as they are getting older, far easier to spend time with them, and in the privacy of our condo, nice to see their response to us feeling comfortable for them having a drink with us on the deck in the evening watching the sunset over the mountains.

However, I'm sure that's not what anyone really wants to read about here. And that was the other aspect of the week - it afforded Sue and I a lot of time in the evenings to go for some quiet walks with a glass of wine and to feel comfortable spending non-sexual time with each other as other than the few times the kids were out, it was difficult to find alone-time together.

So, going into going away, I knew that sex between us wasn't going to be frequent, if at all. Sue had also let me know that while she really wanted family time before the summer was over, that she was going to miss seeing Paul. And our agreement was that she'd have a bit more time with him to sort of make-up for it.

We were in the condo we rented in time for dinner and it was a pretty uneventful night or so I assumed. It wasn't until Monday evening when Sue and I had some time together and had taken a walk alone after dinner. I could tell she wanted to talk about something and I was right. As we walked along she asked me if I'd enjoyed myself last night. I didn't answer right away and she said "you know, your little fun at 2am?" I thought I'd been quiet about it but I woke up horny and enjoyed a quick jerk-off session. I wasn't shy about it and told her that I was horny a lot these days and was enjoying it. She smiled and then asked what I did with my cum as there wasn't any wad of tissues or anything this morning. I told her that I'd tried to be quiet about it and not wake her and I guess maybe I should have been embarassed but without really thinking about it I told her that I'd licked it off my hand where I'd "aimed". She just stared for a moment and I realized what I'd just told her, and she asked if I did that often. I know that I've said I feel really comfortable around her and I don't think I flinched or even thought twice about it and told her "sometimes...". Before I could finish the next word she pulled me to her and kissed me and told me that was the sexiest thing she'd thought about in days and a moment later she whispered that she was wet from thinking about it.

I should have expected it but was half-surprised when that night she rolled over to me in bed and said "let me watch you!" and she flipped the covers off me and even helped pull down my boxers. "Show me just what you did baby" was all she said. And so for the next 10 minutes or so I proceeded to stroke my cock. Oh, she asked me to tell her what I was thinking about that was getting me so hard and horny. I told her it was her that was making me horny, that and jerking off for her always made me horny too. I don't remember specifics but we talked like this other times during the week and by the end of the week it was very easy to tell her about the thoughts and visions in my head of her with Paul.

I've jerked off so many times for her before but this may have been the first time she'd actually watch me when I'd be cumming this way. She said she knows that I jerk-off like this sometimes - she's felt it before and it always made her feel good when she realized why the bed had a slight shake to it for a few minutes and she said she was surprised at how I could do it without really making any movement. What was obviously different on Monday is that a lot of times there'd be some laundry on the floor by the bed - a sock or pair of underwear that I could reach and clean up with - and she said she'd always smiled finding something hard and crusty next to my bed knowing what it meant. And she knew from watching me that I was getting closer because she got up on her elbow even more as I started to tug harder.

I'll admit that I did feel a little wave of self-consciousness when I felt myself getting close, that I thought she'd seen me do this before but if she had, it had been a long long time. But I resolved to let her watch if she wanted, and I know now that I wanted her to see and know what I was doing. Sure enough, a moment or two later I felt the need and I rolled to one side. Without even looking I knew her eyes were open wide and glued to my hands. I extended one and cupped it and with the other I tried to aim as best as I could as I jerked off to a glorious orgasm. I heard her moan as I did so and I wondered if she'd been as horny as I was. And when I was done and caught my breath and had even let her watch me pull out that last bit from way down, that was when I first looked up at her and my god was she smiling and seeming glued to my every move. I looked down and saw a good size puddle of cum in my palm and without a second thought or even a flinch, I brought it up and licked it clean. And I swear I felt a shudder in the bed as I did so and I swore that it felt like she'd had her own little pleasure too. I finally looked up at her and she had a gleam in her eye and again, before I could say a word she pulled me close and kissed me passionately - the moan she let out as our tongues touched confirmed she could still taste it in my mouth.

When she pulled back from me a moment later she said that was "sooo sexy baby" and that she loved watching me. And she then asked me honestly how many times I've done that before. I took a deep breath but before I could answer she said it turned her on that I might do it even when I wasn't around her. I took that breath again and told her that I do it sometimes and guessed maybe it was a few times a month and I sort of told her that sometimes it really gets me horny to do it and yes, I told her that I sometimes tell myself it's Pauls.

She thought this was just awesome and I did it again for/with her on Tuesday night which again brought out the same responses from her on how sexy she thought it was and how horny and hot it made her to watch me cum and then lick it up. By the time Wednesday night came around and our kids took the car and went off on their own that she turned to me and when I thought she was going to want to watch me again she instead surprised me and said "nope, not tonight baby..... I'm horny tonight!!!!" and she literally handed me a condom and said it was my turn.

But aside of Wednesday night, up to and including last night, she wanted to watch me. So I guess it's a cuck-ish thing to post that I've eaten 6 out of my last 7 loads of cum. Although last night she lamented that "I don't get to have my fun playing with it when you do it that way" (referring to my cum) so I"m not sure it's going to continue.
 
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