She was upset last night but also began realizing that he wasn't the same really after the stroke and that maybe this is for the better and he's in a better place now. Unfortunately, her mom now becomes the real issue as she isn't comfortable living alone and has temporarily moved in with Sue's sister until things are sorted out, with stairs in our house, it wasn't going to work for her to be here. I think as soon as all of that is somewhat settled, things will begin to return.
She just wanted to be held last night and in bed I was sure she felt me get hard a few times as she let me hold her and surprised me when she moved my hand to hold her breasts a few times as she spooned back against me. But I also knew she wasn't looking for sex, just wanted the feeling of closeness, when we lay together with the lights out she told me that "you can take care of that if you need to honey" and she said she loved the hugs and closeness. I did as she suggested as I was horny and when I'd cleaned up and rolled over to go to sleep a few minutes later she again surprised me when she turned over towards me and kissed my shoulder and said she liked that I felt comfortable enough to do that when I needed and she kissed me and said she loved me.
What she doesn't know and I won't tell her is that about 3am this morning that I woke up in bed and I both felt and hear something. I was facing in her direction and I opened my eyes and I was sure she was masturbating. I snored a bit and rolled onto my back from my side facing her and I pretended to deepen my breathing slowly as if I were falling back asleep. She must have liked my new position because as I settled in I felt her begin to move again and this time I saw her move a little further away from me and when I didn't move, she slowly raised her knees and I could feel the rhythm change from how she was rubbing herself. It wasn't till I heard the squishy sounds as she struggled to keep her orgasm quiet that I realized she was using a dildo, I could feel how she was moving and I realized that this must be how she'd felt earlier when she lay next to me. When I heard her breathing calming, as she brought her knees down she reached onto the headboard and took two tissues and I can only assume she wiped off the dildo before putting it back into her night-stand. (I couldn't tell which one she used as I slept in late this morning).
We have our spare room free now as our son went back to school today and our daughter will be leaving as soon as she and Sue return from seeing her mom.
I have to say that it's been easy to be helpful and supportive when I know that there won't be any sex involved and that I should simply take it off my mind with her. I know she's noticed that as a difference and I have to say it feels nice to be able to feel this way and be okay with it and not, as I know I'd felt in the past, be starting to try to plan how or when I can somehow have sex with her. It's strange to look back and see how much of my time or desires were geared around when I might have sex with her and my desire to wait and be horny to release it with her now seems kind of selfish on my part. This coupled with how I felt last night where it was exciting and very satisfying to listen to her satisfy herself as I had earlier.