Peak - your last update just was posted as I'm writing this so rather than ramble on as I had thought, I'll answer your note as much as I can before she gets home in a bit from visiting her parents.
I am trying to go along with her idea of making this seem real. Yes, her earlier comments were that she thought this would be something that would pass - either she or he would perhaps tire of it, or perhaps the role-playing would come to an end. She did imply somewhat of a timeframe of a few months, I beleive it was my conjecture of it perhaps being around Christmas. However, I will also say that I think my acquiescence to everything may have encouraged her to think perhaps longer in timeframes. Although I wasn't surprised at her mention of extending this into our ski-season since I expect she will want to experience that too. So while I am trying to adhere to her request to make it seem real, I am also going to keep her to her part of the agreement - for us to talk openly and frequently and yes, for us to physically reconnect as we'd planned.
I will say that I do share some concern along your lines of if she truly enjoys or wants this, that it becomes more of the dynamic between us and that as you said, Paul is replaced by someone else, just not me sexually. I know that's also something that we will have to deal with but at the same time, it's not something that I think she could look forward to right now.
Regarding your last sentence. I do not know just yet how this will take hold with Sue and how or what she may come to feel. I surely was not anticipating this to be our new state-of-being for ad-infinitum - so these are surely things we will need to talk over as time comes to pass. I will admit to feeling some anxiety already regarding the changes we have made when I let myself consider if it could be a permanent change. But at the same time, for the short term, even with thinking of it as "real" and going with it all, I have to say it's exhilirating to know what we've done and to think and anticipate what may come. And yes, the pillow-talk is equally intense.
I am still not totally "believing" what we've done and I suspect it won't be until this weekend comes and goes when I'll truly start to have to reckon with it all. I will share that I have been considering telling Paul more about what we are doing. I've thought of saying it as though I am having some ED issues and that the "stress to perform" sometimes is at play so we are going to take a break sexually and allow me to get myself back together and that during this break, that he will be her only sex partner. I think it's something that might make him, and I, feel more at ease around each other moving forward. I haven't shared that with Sue yet, hope to later tonight.
The last thing I will share that is also giving me pause for thought is that when it comes down to it, I really am finding that I am enjoying and that I truly do want this type of beta-relationship with her. It is as surprising to me as it is to her and I"m sure others here - but I truly do feel very calm and serene so much more than before. Sexually, I feel very relaxed but confident with her and that is really something that is making me - and her - truly think and talk more openly. I couldn't have considered, agreed to and now acted on her wishes if they hadn't also been, I guess, somewhat mine too. I think we are both perhaps a bit too new at this new change to really know how it is going to work for us just yet.
