It's been a crazy week and in re-reading the last few posts I am now realizing I didn't share the conclusion of the weekend - but it did culminate with us making love and again, I don't believe she is faking it - at least if she is, she's a wonderful actress who can command her pussy to become squishingly wet. Our open discussion had led to us winding up in bed and she was very into sex with me - which surprised me since she'd been with him on Thursday - but nonetheless - the remains of their fun surely added to ours, or at least mine.
However, she was also not missing the opportunity to taunt and tease me about using up yet one more condom and she again teased me about whether she will let me possibly "fill 2 of them over Labor Day weekend". Just the way she said it had me so turned on teasing me that I have maybe 6 more to use with her. I know it may sound cold but after how we'd talked and what we'd both said, I can't explain it but if anything I was turned on even more.
She said it back then and it came up again last night both before and after I'd cum with her. Mind you it's now shared knowledge between us that it totally turns me on that I may no longer cum in her and last night she told me how much that turned her on too. She'd admitted that it began to turn her on more and more as she began to really "see" that I enjoyed denial and that she realized that sometimes - despite how much she loves having semen in her pussy - that sometimes with me she too found herself growing more and more aroused herself at this. So both Saturday night as well as last night she seemed even more focused on playing with my cum. She has the most intense look in her eye as she holds a condom full of my cum, especially knowing how aroused it makes me feel to see it and know what I've again not felt with her. The way she holds it and runs it in her fingers is so erotic.
Last night we again talked and building on our past conversation she again told me how she wants to feel she can "be herself" with Paul and not feel that she has to worry about me and how I'll be "if you walk in on something". It led to quite an explicit conversation where I asked her what I might walk in on and she casually said "how are you going to feel if you walked into the den and you found Paul licking me or us fucking?" It was so erotic and exciting that we can talk so openly. I joked with her at first that "I hoped you wouldn't leave any stains on the couch" which made her giggle and I think really made her feel that I was okay with what and how we were talking about.
As we talked she told me that she and Paul often "fooled around" elsewhere other than the bedroom in his place and she told me again that she very much didn't want to have to change any of that when they're at our house. She was quite explicit and said that sometimes they would fuck for a long time just to fuck - sometimes with her not cumming at all but just "enjoying him in me" - and obviously with him waiting at times too. She said some other stuff and I guess it was just us both getting caught up in the moment but I told her that hearing that absolutely drove me crazy and turned me on to hear. She looked at me and asked me how I was going to feel if they didn't quite so much push it in my face, but at the same time, didn't really hold themselves back.
I've said it before and last night was another of those nights when I felt like I could tell her anything and everything. After hearing how she felt about me using condoms and how she really made me feel good about it being something we are "doing together". One thing she had said was that I shouldn't feel awkward about what turns me on and that she loves knowing "this side" of me. She looked at me and said "I know it turns you on that I am with him instead of you and not in addition to you" and she said that she loves knowing that and again said it's not something she feels I should be concerned about as long as she is okay about it and believe me, she is quite okay about it. She was now lying next to me in just her bra and panties and she encourage me to "talk to me baby.... let me watch you while you tell me what turns you on baby....". It took me a minute but I soon started to talk. I told her that I knew it was going to make me horny to see them "being free" and that I wanted her to feel she didn't have to worry about me. She moaned a supportive "uh huh baby..." and I told her that I thought it would be very erotic to see them acting as they do at his place. She looked at me and I told her that if she wants to fuck him downstairs in our den that she should do so and that I would be okay with it. I told her that I expected that sometimes it would make me feel awkward or even uncomfortable but that I wanted her to not mind that. She smiled and said "are you sure?" and I nodded yes and told her "yeah, it's hard for me to say it to you but I want to see you involved with him". I said a few other things which included my telling her that "I want you to do what you want and not worry about me" I took a deep breath and said hesitated for a moment but then said ".... I want to feel as though you are his...". She moaned at that and put her hand on me and told me she loved me and that she knew it was hard for me to say stuff like that to her. I took her hand in mine and I told her that I didn't understand it but that I loved that she was going to be his sexually and with a deep breath I told her that "it's what I want, it's what I want to feel as the beta".
Without any notice she kissed me passionately. When the kiss ended she looked at me and said "I know this is hard for you baby" and then she looked downward and saw that my hand was on my now very hard cock and she smiled and said "but I know it turns you on and I love that". She reached down and slid my boxers off of me - I lifted up my butt to make it easier for her and as she pulled them off she knelt on the bed and looked down at me now naked and she said "I love seeing you and watching you do this". I swear my cock throbbed at how she said that. As I started to stroke more and more I told her more. I told her that I knew it wasn't going to be easy for me and that I knew there were going to be many difficult moments, but I was so horny as I told her that at the same time I knew that there were going to be far more times that turned me on and I admitted I was looking forward to it. She moaned softly as I told her that I wanted to feel my desire for her building and to know that it won't be satisfied for a long time. She cooed back softly to "tell me more baby" and I did. I told her how I wanted to know how it was going to feel to have him staying in our room for 2 nights in a row and to know she was his. I think I was looking away from her as I told her I wanted to hear her moaning with him and that it was crazy to say it but that I wanted to hear them together in the morning, in the bedroom and in the bathroom together. She cooed back at "mmmm, that turns you on doesn't it baby, that I don't mind him in the bathroom with me". I groaned back that she didn't do that with me and she giggled and said "I would if you weren't my beta man" which made me moan loudly in return.
I can't recall specifically what was said that pushed me over the edge, but I do know that in the moments of extreme arousal that I told her she looked incredible in her bra and panties and that it would turn me on if she'd tease me wearing them sometimes. She giggled and told me that she remembered how it used to drive me crazy to not see her and I know she started to tease me about thinking about doing that again just before I suddenly let go. I know she said some things to me but I can't recall exactly what she was saying as I had my own thoughts in my head as well but I do know that it felt awesome to let her see just how turned on I was and I know I heard her moan softly as I kept stroking my cock.
It was afterwards, after I'd caught my breath and realized that she was again lazily playing with my cum - picking it up between her fingers and seeing how stringy it was when she said "it seems like maybe you're finally relaxing about all of this?.... if this is any evidence of it...." and that was the first time I'd tilted my head downward and saw what - to me and I guess her - was again a seemingly huge load of cum from me. She leaned over when I'd raised my head and kissed me and told me that she loved "seeing this" and she looked at me and asked me if it felt good and she asked me if there was anything she could do to make it feel even better for me. I jokingly but also seriously said "you could suck me at the end!" and she giggled and said "I could....... but I won't....." and she ran a finger through my cum and brought it up to my lips and said "I couldn't play with it like this and I wouldn't get to see you either". But as I licked it off her finger she also smiled and said "besides, that's not something you get as a beta baby". Fuck that was so hot to hear her say that I told her so "that gets me horny when you say that" and she giggled and said "I know". A moment later she lifted her head away from playing with my cum to again bring a finger-ful to my lips and she asked if there was anything else I could think of "like maybe holding these?" and she reached down and cupped my balls! I moaned and told her that would probably be pretty erotic and she giggled and moved my hand to my cock and said "give it a tug or two and lets see how it feels". And while it was still soft and small, feeling her warm hand and fingers was exceptionally nice and I told her so. She smiled and said "see, that's what I mean about relaxing and making this fun baby".
Thing is she's right, it's sort of lingered into today that maybe she's right and I should just relax about it and lets see what happens.
