peakmb said:
Jeez Squirmy, in what area of your life would you say let's not plan anything for the future, let's just rely on blind faith. What's the phrase, "The sheep shall lie down with the lion, but the sheep might not get much sleep."
I'm chilled actually, Steve is clearly going to do what Sue wants him to because by now he's curious enough and horny enough about it to want to do it himself. My only issue is what if it doesn't work out? So far Sue has tried something similar at least 3 times with Paul and it hasn't worked out once. So don't just say it will this time, or rely on hope. If he has at least agreed flags of some sort, both parties know what it means when they are used. If all goes well as you imagine it might, they never get used but both parties might sleep more soundly knowing they are there. Steve because he knows he has a beta way of relief and Sue because she will know Steve is truly ok if he's not using flags.
Peak,
Within a long standing marriage such as I have with my wife and such as Steve indicated he had with his own wife (Sue), personally integrity, trust and faith is truly all you have. Everything is material and constructs based on a false premise. You seem to believe that if Steve were to require a so-called totum (yellow-flag, red-flag, etc) that everything will be magically okay. Yes we should always plan for future events although there is NO need for anyone to always focus on the worst case scenario all the time as you seem to always prefer doing and if someone does not follow your strongly worded at advise you seem to think the world is going to crash down around them.
Relying on personally integrity, trust and faith within your relationship with your wife such as Steve is doing with Sue; no I would not call this “blind faith” to use your words. Thinking about and evaluating the worst case scenario should have been done 9+ years ago and again with each transitions as Sue connects with a different man (such as with Paul a couple of years back), not something to focus on at this stage of the lifestyle. Steve has had concerns which he has raised in this and other threads since Sue connected with Paul initially.
Sue on multiple occasions since she has been seeing Paul has been very clear with Steve that all he has to do it voice his desire for her to stop and she would stop. The draw back to him pulling that “Ace” out of his pocket and playing it is because if she were to “Stop”, it is a very strong likely hood that she would drop from the lifestyle completely due to her age. She has mentioned her concerns about her own ages for a few years now and she has given Steve many opportunities to put a stop to the lifestyle. I am sure that we both have been reading the same post over the years and I am sure you have read the same as I have.
Sue has continued to expand upon and yes at time push the boundaries with Steve although at no point does it appear that she actual violated his trust or faith in Sue and it would seem that they both have retained a respectable level of personally integrity. As part of expanding upon and pushing the boundaries with Steve, Sue has intended expressed on many occasions how she would like to also explore areas of her own desires, fantasies, the so-called bucket list of sorts. In doing so she has become that much more open about those desires, yes Steve may have had his feels hurt on occasion as a result and she may have had her feelings also hurt on occasion as a result of those same discussions although that is part of have a truly open and honest conversation about your marriage, your relationship, your desires, your fantasies and the expression of feelings which may be considered outside of the norm of traditional. You should sit back and re-read some of Steve’s post and for that matter even some of your own, try to be understanding and truly open minded about what Steve is going through as opposed to simply being seemingly judgmental.
I would say that Steve and Sue have already established a method of how to put a firm stop to everything if it comes to that. Steve is going through a phase that I myself went through many years ago, this is normal of sorts when talking about the emotional roller coast, the uncertainty and such. Some of you here would simply prefer that Steve retain his Alpha side, send Sue off to get fucked, then reclaim her by fucking her when she gets home even if that means that BOTH are not happy with the end result. Maybe you should ask Steve what he truly would like, Sue has already expressed that is not what she wants. My view points is not about fantasy or imagination, it is based on my prior experience and also by seeing others go through it. Oddly enough, while they use other terms for it, this is common discussion within Poly Support Groups. While Steve does not identify as Poly and nor does Sue, Steve would receive a lot more non-judgmental feedback from a Poly Support Group then he does on this Cuck-Forum.
As always I am very much open to reading feedback from you and others, although I think you need to truly read, listen to what Steve is saying without putting your own spin on it.
I do find it funny that you would reference a Bible Reference on a Cuck Focused Forum, you may not realize it was associated with a series of bible verses since so many other people have used the terms openly over the years, just very humorous.
The reality of this is, you and I have had a very similar exchange before and it truly would seem that either have had a bad break up at some point and blamed the lifestyle and or you simply do not understand that mindset of the man that is sexual beta or beta leaning.
Sue addressed Steve’s desires and fantasies for years and we all read about them, now that Sue is seeking to do the same for herself following Steve indicating that he wanted to experience being Beta, everyone seems to think there is ulterior motives when Steve is simply learning a lot more about himself and he is helping Sue in his own way to explore her desires and fantasies. I for one have suggested on multiple occasions that they should have very open and blunt conversations outside of the bedroom and not bring their own sexuality into the discussion when they are having it. There is nothing wrong with Steve being open to doing what Sue wants, there is nothing wrong with him also wanting what she indicated that she wants. You claimed that your “chilled actually” although in your post you seem to be far from it actually.
Paul has indicated a positive toward Steve’s hypothetical question about the long term. Sue is talking more short term although she is basing that determination based on the belief that she thinks Paul may eventually want much more than just a physical relationship. It would seem that Sue would be okay with Paul being the last extra man that she has in her life due to the age maturity as she grows older. Paul does not seem to be bothered by her age and there are men out there that are perfectly happy being single relationship wise as long as they have access to a very regular sexual partner. What has worked out best for us (my wife and I) was to develop a more of a Friend with Benefits (FwB) type relationship with her playmate, her FwB is truly OUR friend, yes he is her lover (physically sexually speaking) although he is OUR friend outside of the bedroom. Yes of course he has his own life, his own friends outside of us. Maybe I should publish my own thread someday although if I do it would likely be published on the other forum.
Long story short, Steve and Sue are doing what works for them or at least they seem to be, yes they have had some stumbling blocks that they are working to overcome.
As to your last question “My only issue is what if it doesn't work out?”; what if it does not work out, what if Steve changes his mind, he can always use the “Ace Card” that he has had for YEARS that he can use at any time with the understanding that it would likely result in a hard stop, not simply a temporary stop. Yes I am sure this is floating around in your mind, what if Sue were to leave him were Paul; if this were to happen which is very unlikely than I would have to say that they have marital issues that they have kept private that has not been published on this forum. If someone is having issues at home within their relationship they should not be in the lifestyle in the first place. You could what if this all night although I would venture to say that Steve already what if’d this back when she started seeing Paul on a somewhat regular basis early on.
Have a good night Peak, it is almost midnight on your side of the pond.
