New Direction For 2017?

[peakmb]

Steve, it's now 10 days since your last post, your longest gap in many years. You have visited several times and maybe found little from to react to, perhaps because we have little to go on.
We don't know how your regime is progressing, how Sue is ramping up her overnights with Paul, whether you are involved or how either of you are feeling. However, I can't believe that in all this sexual inactivity on your part, there has been inactivity in dialog. Maybe it's difficult to share, maybe it's developing, but I can't believe it's business as usual. Let us know when you feel able to.

 

[tegelad]

I think @SoonToBe is literally taking the whenever ... to be forever .... but hey ... I am going to guess maybe the angst he is feeling makes his hands shake too much to type or write anymore ....

 

[SquirmingSub]

It may take Steve some time to truly adjust to the current reality.

 

[raksdeer]

It may take Steve some time to truly adjust to the current reality.

Ohh..yes. To adjust and develop intimacy of the non-physical kind.!

 

[SquirmingSub]

@raksdeer Lets you and I NOT get into this. It is Steve's relationship, and if you have never been down this road you truly have no clue about what he is or is not feeling. Steve has been very clear in his more recent post. So good luck to Steve and his chosen journey...

 

[peakmb]

Steve has said he thought posting less would be better for him. He's now doing that. It's been over a week since he even visited the site which is probably part of him breaking his addiction to. And with it ours of course. I'm sure he's continued to talk to Sue and to think. When he's ready he may even tell us. Till then there really isn't much point in speculating or arguing amongst ourselves. It's a bit like the inauguration. We just have to wait to see what happens!

 

[azsurfer77]

Well it's been over two weeks, but we should hear something this week as STB and Sue should be coming back late tonight or tomorrow from their first ski weekend: the first in which Sue was to be Paul's all weekend. Hope STB, Sue and Paul have found the relationship that works for them.

 

[SoonToBe]

I'm not sure where to begin other than to say that I am troubled right now about what is going on. No, I do not feel I'm losing her or anything like that but in the time since I posted here last, several things have happened. I'm not even sure how to recap them of when they started but in the absence of sex with her leading up to going away skiing this past weekend, I began to feel that same desire I'd felt before when I was away, that I needed her physically.

It led to a bit of a row between us where she put it pretty bluntly to me that the longer I go without cumming in her, that while it gives me some feeling of fulfillment, that she says it isn't doing much for her (compared to how she feels with Paul) and that she wanted to know if I wanted to continue being the beta for her. I told her that I wasn't sure and she started to grow more annoyed and more vocal about me wanting to decide one way or another but that I needed to know that she was approaching a point where we may not be able to go back from and she asked me again if I was going to be happy with possibly not cumming in her again, ever. I told her that I wasn't sure about that and she sort of got on her high-horse and, over the course of a few days, now well over a week ago, she told me that she was going to "make sure" that I knew what I wanted by the time ski-season was over. I didn't understand but she reiterated that she was "going to be his" all weekend and that after our 2 planned "and whatever unplanned trips occur", that will be when she will be at her ultimatum point when she said "you will need to decide".

She saw Paul a few times up to Friday the 13th but then didn't see him that weekend, instead she continued talking to me. I guess some of what some of you said here was true. She admitted that she was feeling more for him and she says she's talked about it with him. He said he was concerned and wanted to do the right thing for us (Sue and I) and what she then said to me and followed through on has left me seriously questioning things.

To put it simply, Paul agreed to go along with what she said she would do. She said she had to convince him and she told me that she told him what she wanted him to do when we were away - that he was reluctant until she said to me "I told him I want to show you what you will be missing". Or putting it simply - as she said to me "if you still want to be my little-beta after you see me with him" that she is going to take things much more seriously and so she wanted to warn me.

Well, her warning was very prescient as even on the ride up to Vermont on Friday afternoon she told me that once he arrived, that she was going to be his "fully and totally" and that unlike last year, she isn't going to be with me during the day - or the nights. She reached over and felt that my cock was hard and she giggled and said "let me see how horny you are on the way home on Sunday baby...." and she laughed. She told me that it's now been over 2 years and that should be long enough for me to know how I feel and what I want. I told her it wasn't that easy and she told me that "it sure seemed easy for you to tell me you wanted me to look to Paul for what I wanted" and for most of the ride up she told me how she resisted at first but she told me in no uncertain terms that - yes - as Raks and others said here - that she is reaching the point of where she wanted to have a final decision from me so she can let things develop more with Paul. When I asked her she told me that if I wanted to continue, that I needed to understand that over time, the things she's tried to keep away - feeling emotionally for him - are going to be more and more difficult to resist. And at one point she told me that if I decided I "needed" to continue using condoms with her, that it was going to change how she felt about sex with me too and she said as if I didn't know it that "I need to feel that in me, it's part of what makes sex good for me" and she admitted that while she orgasms with me and can cum with me, that "barely feeling it from you for over 2 years now" has made her truly want it with him and yes, to the point where it's not that important if she doesn't feel me in her.

She said it wasn't going to affect things outside sex but I know that she said that for my benefit and that she is warning me that we're approaching some decisions that as she's said before, are going to be hard to undo.

That said - she held true to what she said. From the moment he arrived later on Friday afternoon, she truly was his. God did it hurt. All of her talk - she knew - had gotten me turned on and horny. From the huge kiss when he arrived to their quick tryst in the bedroom before we went to dinner - I knew that there wasn't going to be much I could do other than watch and wait. Yes - the first thing they did was go into the bedroom and fuck while I waited in the other room to go to dinner. She hadn't seen him all week and I knew I was in store for a long weekend by how she cried out "fuck me" and after just a few minutes she grunted out loud "oh god... yes, yes, yes.... cum in me, oh god....". He hand't been there for more than 30 minutes before they closed the door and it wasn't more than 15 minutes till I heard her cry out. My cock was so hard as I heard him grunting and then cumming himself. They showered together and again, another 30 minutes went by before they both came out and said that we should get going to dinner. We were close enough to walk to the restaurant as it was pretty warm out by Vermont standards. I got really angst-ed up as they walked ahead of me holding hands and talking while I took up the rear. And as if the weekend didn't start out already - after dinner they told me I could go back whenever I wanted as the two of them were going to the bar down the access-road and do some drinking and dancing. I couldn't let them go alone so I tagged along and I tortured myself watching them dancing and being with each other.

I don't have time to detail the rest of the weekend - it's much later than I'd thought so I need to end now but will try to come back later or tomorrow. Suffice to say that I am seriously considering relenting my beta-status with her. After seeing her with him this weekend, it's more than I can stand in some ways to not have her again. She says she understands - and then told me that I'm still waiting another few weeks until after we go back skiing again before she'll let me have sex with her. "you can use your right hand all you want till then" is how she left it.

 

[peakmb]

Steve, it's pretty cheap to say I told you so, so I won't. What matters is what you really want to happen.

If you want to continue as a beta then do nothing. Go along with your current plans and Sue will do the rest. Except your dream of being a beta with a wife who still loves him as before doesn't seem to there as a reality. Sue will slowly leach her emotional needs to Paul as she has intimated and there's no going back from that. Sooner or later it's game over.

If you want her back you have to pay a price. Sue is clearly now not one to permanently love a beta and if you truly want to keep her, you have to give up your urges in that direction. Personally I think this period has already caused damage and I think if you do give up the urge you should do so now. If Sue can't go along with that immediately then you at least have to put some skin in the game by withdrawing from all joint activity. If Sue brings Paul round, go out. If he asks why, tell him. Tell Sue you are not going on the second ski weekend if Paul goes too. Make a point of throwing away the condoms. You already know they do nothing for you so their existence is currently solely for you, and you don't need them as an equal.

Above all make your decision quickly but with the future in mind.

Good luck.

 

[SoonToBe]

I can say that I am questioning my desires very strongly right now. Seeing them together after they came back that first night was something new in how animated and vocal she was with him - I understood her at that moment, that she was going to treat me like a puppy and rub my face in it so to speak. I went back to the condo before them and as I walked back it started to really get to me - she was dancing with him and they were going to come back and fuck again. I looked in their bedroom and saw her clothes from earlier lying on the floor where she'd taken them off. It just started to get to me. I could almost smell the sex in the air and knowing the bed was messed up from them was incredibly arousing and yet at the same time, as I said earlier - I continued to feel this desire for her building in me again.

Yes, she fucked him when they got back. She was pretty buzzed, somehow they'd managed to sneak a drink out of the bar and she'd finished hers on the walk back. It was one of the first times that I felt that she was really perhaps past where I was comfortable. Just how she acted with him and how I knew she was doing it because she wanted to and because she wanted to push me. Watching them fuck was a lot more intense and yes, I certainly jerked off watching that second time. She looked over at me and smiled when she saw me and a moment later she turned a little bit so I could see him fucking her better. Again she was quite and I do mean quite vocal telling him to fuck her hard and deep. Even now I am wondering if this is how she is with him now. But it was more than that. She was truly his - there was something to how he was fucking her and how she was really really into it that felt different. I know she was buzzed and that was part of it, all I can say is that I was just crazy turned on and yet at the same time I had this itching feeling. She must have told him that she wanted him to be louder because it didn't seem as natural for him but after a few minutes of fucking her in the missionary position he began to say out loud how good her pussy felt and "how wet she is" over and over. "So good man.... wow....". Something I saw and heard several more times over the weekend. And of course her saying loudly - just below shouting to "cum in me, ohhhhh god, cum in me..." and sure enough - as I knew too from watching - I watched him cum in her and I heard her shriek and at the same time, I saw a flood of wetness rush out of her pussy as she thrashed beneath him. It was only when she stopped shaking so much that I noticed he was still hard in her and that was when he turned to me and said "she feels really nice" and he proceeded to take a few more strokes before she got up on her elbows and looked at me and said in a questioning voice "you can come closer if you want". I did and while he didn't say anything, he didn't have to, seeing his fat bloated cock slither out of her pussy like it owned it was enough to make my cock throb even if I did cum already.

I'm not going to try to recap everything that happened after that. But she truly was his. I barely slept Friday night. Saturday we got into the condo about 4pm after skiing for the day and they went into the bedroom and before I knew it I heard them going at it - he fucked her till she came and pulled him close as he stayed deep in her again till she came down - but he didn't cum - he just pulled out of her and they continued to hang out on the bed kissing and him lying next to her for a little bit. I was in the hallway looking into their room so I couldn't hear what they were talking about but it again something so different for me to see her lean over him as he lay on the bed - her naked breasts dangling there - and to see her kiss him and then get up naked as if it were nothing and to see her go into the bathroom.

After dinner on Saturday I thought they were going to go dancing again but she said she wanted to use the hot-tub/jaccuzi that was attached to the condo building we were staying in. I shrugged my shoulders until she teased me that she wanted me to go along with them to act as "lookout". I didn't fully understand it till she came out in her bikini (she still looks good - just a little muffin-top going - but her breasts are still so nice) and the 3 of us walked down to the common area. We were the only ones in there and she giggled that I should keep an eye out and when I shrugged my shoulders again she giggled and undid her top and let Paul suck at her breasts. She turned to me and said "keep an eye out for us honey" and she went back to teasing Paul with her breasts. I nervously looked back and forth only to watch her slip off her bikini bottoms next and to sit at the edge of the hot-tub with Paul licking her pussy. I could see the hallway in the condo so I could see if anyone was approaching but I nervously asked them what if someone comes and she giggled and said she'd "slip down below the bubbles". She clearly intended to push me because she did slide into the hot-tub naked with him after a bit and it made me so horny to see her come up out of the water with the bubbles on her naked breasts. She looked at me and smiled and turned away and stood at the edge of the tub and leaned over and showed me her butt and pussy - a second later Paul stood behind her and pulled his suit to the side and he fucked her. I didn't realize what was happening until I heard her moan and I realized he was in her. Five minutes later she was in front of me handing me her wet bathing suit with just a towel wrapped around her and Paul getting our water-bottles and following her. "See you back there" was all she said.

If I thought she was his before - seeing her kneel at the edge of the bed and literally pull herself open for him - revealing just how red, swollen and worn out she already was - well, I just have to say that it was cumulative and I honestly said to myself that I do need her - seeing her like that I so felt like I needed to be there, to take my place in her - and yes - I'll even say that as I watched him in her and I knew he was about to take her yet again and fill her body with his cum - that I even felt the need and desire to do that myself. It was truly the first time in a long time that I felt the desire to feel her at that moment and to know that I brought her there and that it would be my semen in her.

There is just so much more that I felt - and yet - the most pleasurable and satisfying moments were still hearing her hiss and moan as he would cum in her - but I have to say that I felt desires awaken in me that I thought I may no longer have.

I need to end this now but need to say that on our way home as she shared with me how sexually fulfilled and truly worn out she felt (and she seemed to truly enjoy sharing with me how wonderful that feels for her) that she told me that I will not be having her until after our next ski trip with Paul which will be on the weekend of February 11th-12th. She told me that in that time, she plans on being with him "quite a bit" and that I will need to understand that this is what she is going to want more of moving forward. As I said, I feel her ultimatum coming.

 

[wingman]

Steve
Can I ask you to clarify a few things.
1. Is Sue saying she can only go deeper with Paul if you comit to being Beta forever? So doing extreme beta for 6 months is not an option?
2. Why the permanence? Why not do what you both want for as long as you both want, then stop? It doesn't seem that impossible to reassess feelings monthly and decide if it's safe to continue. Your biggest risk is her sex feelings eroding your marriage relationship. You sound to me like the game is not more important than your marriage.
3. Why not continue with beta behavior, periods of denial, but do away with the condoms? That way, when u connect, you really connect.
4. Take the pending ultimatum out of the picture for a moment. I know saying you "enjoyed it" would be difficult, but I have to ask. Did Sue's treatment of you on the trip keep you hard the entire time?

We would love to read any more of your conversations, or teasing, you care to share.

 

[peakmb]

Steve, I think Sue has been clear. You have no long term future with her as a beta and as someone she loves and respects. All of her previous relationships before Robert have been ended by her. You now know what danger you were actually in had he not ended it. Sue was hiding some of her emotional feeling for him at that time. It's now clear she is warning you she is doing it again or in danger of becoming emotionally glued to Paul. If you recall last year at this time, the reason she finally gave for not connecting back with after the ski trip was she had made an emotional bond with Paul during it that she didn't want to break immediately. It was only your Alpha gesture that snapped her back. She now knows that was a hollow gesture though. The same trick won't work this time. She's tested you many times since and each time you have failed that test in her eyes. Each time she has tried to make the beta thing work within her marriage. It now seems she is warning you that can't last much longer. It seems clear you must choose between being a beta or being with Sue. Maybe you can continue as a cuckold after you reconnect properly. As an equal though and probably not for some time, if at all. That is going to primarily Sue's decision. As I said earlier, I think you have run out of time with this phase. It's time to move on.

 

[azsurfer77]

I have to agree with Peak, STB.

Sue has hinted over the past several years that you can come back to her anytime, by telling her you want to end the beta-desires. Sue has just about reached the end of her rope. With Robert, Sue had a very serious affair going, but never let you see or know who Robert was, or how much sex with him affected her. He was apparently very good at it, and had a large cock and knew how to use it. Sue ended it, without alot of emotion left, and Robert moved on to a permanent and available lady friend.

Sue found Paul and has tried several tacts with you. She has threatened to have more sex with her lover, she has threatened to cut you off entirely, she has threatened to give you very few and far between "mercy fucks" and a year ago caused quite a rift after the ski trip by ignoring you to go have sex with Paul. Then she changed after your near meltdown, to try and include you more. That seems to have been to try and let you know, and witness, all that was going on, and possibly bring out some jealousy, or basic need. However, you seem to have interpreted it as Sue wanted to share her relationship with Paul, with you.

Sue doesn't appear to want that. She married an alpha male, and now that she has experienced many different men, and has the confidence and maturity to know what she likes and doesn't like about the men and sex, she is about to give you an ultimatum. Sue seems to want you to be her alpha-male: an equal partner in this marriage. You have that choice. If you take back that alpha male role, she will let you have sex with her bare, and then you two may negotiate if she continues with a lover, although she has made it known that she wants one for at least the next several years.

However, if you want to remain the beta, and continue to "deny" yourself bare sex with Sue by using a condom, know that Sue has told you condoms don't do much for her, as she may orgasm mildly, but to really have a good orgasm, she has to feel you bare, and she has to feel you come inside her bare pussy. If you choose this path, Sue has the signal that you truly want her to look to Paul for all of her sexual needs. Just remember that sexual needs are more than just sexual intercourse. Sue will mature those emotions she and Paul have already started to develop. Sue will feel more and more drawn to Paul for emotional support, until you will become just a roommate, and Sue will go to Paul for the significant issues that require soothing, cuddling, and lead over and over to sexual release and satisfaction.

Sue will then have no need, or desire, for sex with you and condoms, and it will truly diminish until there won't even be an offer for a "mercy fuck", as sex with Sue will be irrelevant. The closeness you talk about with Sue comes to us by your thread, and maybe "rose-colored glasses" as you two mature. Sue appears to be a mature lady to still desires alot of sex. You must decide whether you will be the one to supply that love and sex, or step back and reliquish that role to Paul.

I noted that Sue and Paul have talked, and though Paul was reluctant he picked up the ball this past weekend, and Sue crossed over the line to basically humiliate you this time. Sue has never done that before, and has been very supportive of you, and refused to humiliate you. This weekend you felt like a "puppy" because Sue and Paul took it to the next level, excluding you from any and all activities of a dating or sexual nature, and even using you as a spotter so they could have public sex. It will only get worse if you want to remain the beta.

 

[tegelad]

@SoonToBe writing out what you think and feel here will help you in alot of ways as you will get differing view points discussed. You have the angel and devils to the points available to you. So share what you feel and what is happening, and I think it will help you out no matter the path you take long term.

As for the angst, you did desire this, so I recommend you just give in and let it happen and tell Sue you want her to take it as far as she wants. by the time winter is over and spring is here, then all of your feelings you can gauge where you want to go. Just know if you want to return to what it was, you will have to fulfill the role Paul has since she obviously likes it. If you enjoy your path, then keep on .. "keeping on".

Do share ... writing will help you out in more ways they you realize.

 

[dutch12]

In my opinion Sue wants her "old" Steve back! That doesn't automatic exclude playing with an extra man. Both did that for years and everybody was happy. I don't think Sue is a born cuckoldres.

 

[SquirmingSub]

Steve,

It is good that you feel that you can continue posting your experiences, feelings and thoughts on the forum. While it has been a troubling time for you and Sue, on a positive note you both have continued to speak openly with each other about your relationship.

This lifestyle has always been a risky one no matter what variation a couple has been exploring. As I have always said, a couple truly must have honest, open, and judgment free communication. This is the same for a traditional married couple and even that much more important for anyone that explores the various alternative lifestyles out there.

Reading through your recent post, it would seem that Sue is truly considering the next steps for the future and you both are at a pivotal point within your relationship especially as it relates to the sexual aspects.

While many of us on the forum have provided you with our respective view points throughout the years, it would seem that you are now experiencing what it is like for Sue to expressively show you what it is like to truly be a beta husband as opposed to what it has been for the last couple of years. Some may say that this is an expected experience while others may say that it is very extreme. Sue did give you some advance notice as to how she wanted the weekend to go and through some of your prior post Sue has been giving you subtle hints that many of us on the forum had previously remarked about.

As PeakMB had stated in one of his previous post, “What matters is what you really want to happen.”. It would seem that Sue has been clear with you in many ways including what her preferences are when it comes to sexuality. Just as with the majority of women, your wife is much more sexually attacked to Alpha Men, she married an Alpha Man, when you encourage her to explore sexual relationships outside of the marriage, I also believe based on your descriptions that all of her lovers were Alpha on some level. Sue has now shown you what it could/would be like if you continue to the beta within the marriage. It truly does seem that Sue wants, possibly even needs for YOU to make up your mind as she has reached that point the Alpha/beta role swap is not longer a game or an exploration. It would seem that Sue wants to make this relationship model more of a permanent thing. Sue has asked you many times, giving you many opportunities to return to being the Alpha. I would also agree with PeakMB in that it seems clear that you much choose between being beta or being with Sue as an equal. If you choose to return to being an Alpha, an equal of sorts with Sue, it would likely take some time to return to were you were at before the introduction of Paul although if you ask her to leave Paul, you may run the risk that she will leave you instead.

Many of us on the forum had previously suggested that with the fluid bonding of Sue with Paul and with you being denied (something you agreed to as part of being beta) this same level of physical initiate contact that there would eventually be some level of emotional connection develop between the two of them. Sue is also showing you that they (she and Paul) already have a connection that is already beyond that of purely sexual. The non-sexual connection between the wife and a lover is what most husbands seem to have the hardest time with and this is something that you have recently been witness to. In many ways Sue and you speak about her time with Paul as if you and Sue are best friends that share everything. Sue has shown you how her relationship with Paul has developed and in turn how your own relationship with her has changed to being more of a platonic relationship, a best friend, not a sexual partner.

With consideration to your most recent post in the last few days, you are at a point where YOU truly do need to step back, and reflect on the lifestyle, determine what you would truly like to have for yourself, for Sue and possibly for Paul.

In my opinion, you may have already reached that point of no-return as no matter what you decide at this point, Sue will still have the final say in the direction of your mutual relationship. As PeakMB said “I think you have run out of time with this phase. It's time to move on.”

So where do you go from here?

As to the ski weekend; did you consider being the third person humiliating or was it exciting to you? If you remain a beta, this would likely become more of the norm as opposed to being the exception?

Do you remain the beta husband with the understanding that eventually this could lead to a platonic marriage? And if so, would you truly be okay if Sue explored as deeper connection with Paul?

Do you prefer to become the Alpha husband again while knowing that it could be a very long road to return to that place within the marriage? Or do you seek some form of compromise?

At this point, I would say that Tegelad, PeakMD, Wingman, and AzSurfer77 each bring up a lot of good points which should be considered in your reflections.

SS

 

[peakmb]

Kind words and wise words SS. The problem seems to be that Steve isn't reading any of it. There seems little reaction to any of the suggestions for action in any direction since the year started which leads me to conclude he is becoming more isolated. He is connecting here less, he is clearly connecting with Sue less and after the ski weekend he can't be realistically connecting with Paul at all. Sue has clearly made Paul piss or get off the pot and he knows where his true loyalty lies in that game. I think Steve now has little choice but to play his stop card. Even if Sue ignores it at first, he can only stand his ground and refuse to participate further. That would include any further visits to his house by Paul until the issue is sorted and would probably mean the end of Paul as things stand. He can't and shouldn't try to stop Sue from seeing Paul but by his actions he will eventually put her in a position to choose. Hopefully by then he will have demonstrated that his resolve is permanent. Something he hasn't done for some time. It's the equivalent of a full system reboot and restart in safe mode.

Hopefully that would result in just Steve and Sue going on the second ski trip. I think there is enough time to get there if he starts now. If not it would just Sue and Paul maybe Sue feeling a little bit guilty all weekend. For a couple of months no one really might feel good about life but it seems to me to be the only way Sue stays with Steve until they are both old and grey.

 

[azsurfer77]

STB, my apologies if I appeared to have gone negative on you in my last post.

However, Sue says an "ultimatum" point is approaching in the next month when "you will need to decide" how you feel.

Sue has also had conversation with Paul, and he has reluctantly agreed to assist her as Sue has told Paul that "I told him(Paul), I want to show you(STB), what you will be missing". Or putting it simply - as she said to me(STB)"if you still want to be my little-beta after you see me with him" that she is going to take things much more seriously and so she wanted to warn me. (from your own text)

I have some very real concerns for the sake of your marriage to Sue, and the three of you finding happiness. Sue does not appear to want to shoulder the mantle of a complete cuckoldress, where you become an non-entity for sex with her. I believe you may have taken it too far, and wonder if you two would be happier if you returned to a level much like you had four to five years ago, where you allowed her to have and enjoy a lover, but she would come back to you and the two of you would have great "reclaim" sex. I went back over the past couple days to review some of your earlier threads and you had the cuckold angst, but you and Sue also had a very frequent and satisfying sex life.

Since you have taken to writting less frequently, it is also hard to interpret your two missives of Monday. They followed a weekend of sex between Sue and Paul as the three of you were on a ski weekend, which we all knew would be intense. Especially as Sue and you have agreed to a period where she is exclusively Paul's, and she is going to demonstrate to you how intense, and extensive, the sex with Paul can be if she is freed of any guilt or responsibility to you.

What we haven't heard about is the repoire you two have. Have you continued your Wednesday evening ritual (or Tuesday if she is seeing Paul on Wednesday's now). Where you masturbate beside her and she watches, and loves seeing you cum, and then shares your cum with you along with kisses and hugs? Are you two still sharing deep hugs and kisses, or has Sue cut back on that? Again, we have only two missives in the last three weeks, and your words that you don't feel like you are losing her.

 

[SoonToBe]

Apologies for the lack of posts here but things continue to progress...
I'll try to summarize and be brief as I have to be elsewhere later this afternoon.

The escalation of everything is apparently something Sue has been wanting, she's said "I"m getting to experience what I'd wanted" in terms of how she wanted to feel about Paul and what she's experiencing physically. She said that my week away, while she felt it was a bit too much at the time, she has now admitted that it has led her to want to push things further with me - while I decide about what it is that I want.

She says that until we go away skiing again with Paul, and that she continues to enjoy seeing him as much as she can in these next 2 weeks leading up to going away, that I'm not going to be having any sexual contact with her except for, as she shared on Thursday night, when she let me lick her pussy clean when she came home. He will be coming here tonight and she's again teased me that "that's all you'll be getting tomorrow too" dashing my hopes of enjoying her afterwards as she'd begun to let me.

I am quite sure that I want to relinquish my beta-status. I am just far too horny as she's gone more intense with Paul - her pussy wasn't just wet on Thursday night, there's just a lot more physicality between them that I saw when we were away that I know she is enjoying him in very new and yes, very "deep" ways. She's teased me that "she's going to feel different too" and she giggled and added "if you get to feel me again".

I know that I need to cum in her again too. If not for myself, then to make it the experience she seems to want with me in order to continue being sexual with me. I suppose "mercy fuck" might have been a correct statement - but she says she likes making me feel good and that if it's what I truly need, that it's my decision but she's made it quite clear that now almost 2 years into condom use, that it is genuinely making a difference in how she is feeling. She knows it turns me on to not cum in me but it's also clear that unless I do, that she's going to continue to grow and prefer Paul. She's told and warned me that it is already making a difference and she knows that turns me on - but I also know she's warning me that if we do go further (and I get it as being months not days) that it is going to change things.

The last part is that she says she doesn't want to hear from me about any of this now - that if I am going to want to relinquish some or all of my beta desires - that I should tell her after we come back from skiing. But she did giggle and say "baby, you'll always be my cuckold though".

 

[cleaner]

Steve, As you may or may not remember but I have been a relatively silent lurker here reading every post and living out many of my cuckold desires through you. But please step up and take Sue a few times to let her know that you still want her sexually. I think that I understand the true cuckold life of never having sex with his wife, but with a marriage as good as yours and Sues is and has been (at least from the years of reading all your posts).....you DO NOT want to lose her. I am afraid that even if you do want to lead a pure cuckold lifestyle, it could jepordize your marriage. please consider this