New Direction For 2017?

[SoonToBe]

lol - hey cleaner - long time.

No, I have no intentions of losing her and if relinquishing condoms is what's needed, then I surely will go along with that. My hope would that we could find a way to play with them and perhaps her more aggressively tease and deny me - but then surely give in. I admit that I am feeling far more desire for her in all ways - physically and mentally - the further she pushes with Paul and I am quite aware that this is what she intends for me to experience. In some ways, we've long talked about this as I suppose it is somewhat of her original desire - to have this full-blown-affair with another man, only thankfully, at least at this point, she hasn't gone completely emotionally towards him. All I can say is her ongoing taunts when she emerges naked from the shower or when she is getting changed about "remember how this used to feel" as she pats her pussy mound or clearly the other times when she will suddenly look up at me and smile and when I give her a questioning look and her smile grows into a tease I know she's feeling a drip or something similar.

Maybe she knows this is what I needed to feel to "want her" again? I'm just hesitant that it'll lose the edge and arousal that I do feel, I'm hoping we can find a way to make that last - but again, by the end of another 2 weeks and another weekend, perhaps even that desire will wane.

 

[peakmb]

Steve,
I'll say it once more. You need to be absolutely clear to Sue that you are finally serious about giving up your beta ways if that is your decision. It's clear that it is a role for you that Sue tolerates but is not turned on by and it is clear that condom use is only a turn on for you too. Both issues have created a lust vacuum in Sue that has been filled by Paul. Literally filled as well. They have distanced Sue from you in sexual terms and are starting to distance her from you in broader terms now. However much you think you like both issues they are now doing you harm and you need to stop. You have got to experience more in this area than many but neither is worth your marriage.
I know Sue has said she doesn't want an answer before the next ski trip but she is the one that has escalated the odds during your agreed two month experiment so she doesn't get to make that rule for you. In my view you need to be very clear with her that she gets her two months that you agreed to but then it ends. That means two very clear actions.
1. You make a point in her presence of throwing away all the remaining condoms. She doesn't want them and you can't use them and not be a beta in her eyes.
2. You tell her that you will not be going on the second ski trip. The angst is not worth losing her for and her new phase of sexual torment which now borders on humiliation cannot be condoned or tolerated again. The second trip is for Sue to say goodbye to Paul in this phase of their relationship. It never really included you and you never did make any sort of bond with him. Whether Sue continues to see him is for you both to agree but it can't be as before. I would suggest for some time after their ski trip that any time Sue does see him it happens only at his house and never in your bed again.
All this may seem a bit harsh or extreme but it is necessary for you to break the habit/addiction of your current beta ways. The option of continuing in some limbo land of indecision is to default in Sue's eyes to permanent beta and to ultimately risk losing her in the future. This way you get the message across.

 

[tegelad]

Steve,

If you do end your beta roles, how are you going to remain super charged for her? Have you thought about that? Do you realize that if things shutdown between Paul and her, or is reduced to a once in a while hot wife experience how will you step up your game?

 

[raksdeer]

It was almost cruel.

 

[SquirmingSub]

Steve,

You indeed have some decisions to make, some choices to make, and each of those choices will have its own set of consequences. No one here on this forum can truly know what will happen with any choice you make. The reality is, if you continue down this beta path it could go either way with Sue and if you go the direction that Peak has as recommended it could also go either way. Both path's could lead to a continued successful marriage and on the flip side both path's could lead to Sue pulling away from you resulting in a separation or divorce especially if she feelings that you are giving her an ultimatum.

The point being, that you and Sue may have already reached a point of no return and if that is the case, you truly need to make sure that you can live with what ever direction you select and that you make this choice on your own without influence by anyone on this forum as it could be live changing.

While many may refer to this area of the lifestyle a game, the hard truth is that the game aspect of this lifestyle ended for you and Sue a few years back when she truly connected with her current lover (Paul). This lifestyle is no longer a game for you and Sue or should I say it no longer sounds like a game for Sue as she has truly taken her current relationship with Paul to a very new level.

Carefully reflect everything and be very clear on the decision you make and be ready for the consequences that are associated with it.

SS

 

[raksdeer]

Both path's could lead to a continued successful marriage and on the flip side both path's could lead to Sue pulling away from you resulting in a separation or divorce especially if she feelings that you are giving her an ultimatum.

The point being, that you and Sue may have already reached a point of no return and if that is the case, you truly need to make sure that you can live with what ever direction you select and that you make this choice on your own without influence by anyone on this forum as it could be live changing.

While many may refer to this area of the lifestyle a game, the hard truth is that the game aspect of this lifestyle ended for you and Sue a few years back when she truly connected with her current lover (Paul). This lifestyle is no longer a game for you and Sue or should I say it no longer sounds like a game for Sue

SS

Sue has given ultimatum to STB and not the other way round. Just like you often told me to let STB decide for himself while also telling me that non sexual couples are closer, this time please understand that your ideas might have worked for you. They might not work for anybody. So, please stop cheering STB to pursue your path. Peak gave the most practical outlook. Sue is a mom of two kids also - I am sure she will not throw a dedicated and sincere partner like STB for some thrills in bed. She has made her intentions clear - she wants her alpha hubby back. I pray to STB that he is listening to what Sue is saying instead of sacrificing his marriage for cuck thrills he is after.

 

[SquirmingSub]

Sue has given ultimatum to STB and not the other way round. Just like you often told me to let STB decide for himself while also telling me that non sexual couples are closer, this time please understand that your ideas might have worked for you. They might not work for anybody. So, please stop cheering STB to pursue your path. Peak gave the most practical outlook. Sue is a mom of two kids also - I am sure she will not throw a dedicated and sincere partner like STB for some thrills in bed. She has made her intentions clear - she wants her alpha hubby back. I pray to STB that he is listening to what Sue is saying instead of sacrificing his marriage for cuck thrills he is after.

Rak Rak Rak,

I addressed my comments directly to Steve and the only people on this forum that I would expect a response from would be from Steve himself or that of Peak since I mentioned him within the post.

Even I acknowledged that Peak did present Steve with a series of recommendations which could possible work in this situation, yes Peak did present a practical outlook although I also indicated that those same recommendations could put Steve and Sue on a path of separation with the unintended result of divorce. I for one do respect Peak’s viewpoints and in many cases have even agreed with him. I have also said openly and respectively when I disagreed with those viewpoints. This is one of those times were none of us truly know what is going on in the Steve/Sue household as we are only hearing one side of everything that has transpired.

While Sue and Steve have been married for multiple decades, Sue is the mom of their two children; those same two children whom you have mentioned are now adult children. It is a statistical FACT that a sizeable number of divorces occur when the parents become empty nesters. This tends to happen when a couple has stayed married for a few reasons, (1) being for the sake of the children, (2) because of social engineering of those within the older generations. For those couples that do actually make it long term beyond the empty nesters transitions, I bet if you took the time to actual speak with those which have accomplished this you will find that many of them had developed a non-sexual form of intimacy throughout their respective marriage. They have truly become bestfriends. This is NOT a new concept nor is it simply my idea; this is a proven aspect of many marriages which has allowed couples to develop and maintain a very close bond throughout the years. You are right that it does not work for everyone, hence the very high divorce rate in the USA. Rak if you truly believe that sexual intercourse is the only form of intimacy and is required for marriage successes you are in for a very huge disappointment as it take a lot more than sexual intercourse for a successful marriage.

With that said, you presented a statement “I am sure she will not throw a dedicated and sincere partner like STB for some thrills in bed.” and I would say that at this stage in life, we all hear of so many married couples having non-disclosed affairs (Cheating) due to them seeking something that they are not getting from the respective spouse. In some of those situations, they simply have lost the sexual attraction to each other for some reason. Yes Sue has made her intentions clear that she wants to have her husband while at the same time she has been very into Alpha men outside of the marriage and she has also made it clear to Steve that he will ALWAYS be a cuckold moving forward. Sue is now positioned to always be her own Alpha no matter what Steve decides moving forward; in many ways Steve will always be a beta in Sues mind even if he takes back on a more alpha role which may simply result in so called mercy intercourse, and oddly enough the issues that many of you seem to only be concerned about is if he is or is not denied bare intercourse. I for one am more concerned about his mental state, his continued intimately emotional connections with Sue while Sue has been developing a stronger physical and non-physical connection with Paul.

It would seem to me by what Steve had recently posted is that Sue is tired of the back-n-forth, tired of the lack of commitment one way or another. In many ways what some would consider being whiny or a since of flip-flop; the reality is not every man or woman is into the role play side of this lifestyle, the game of sorts, nor are they into the constant going back in forth of roles.

As to the ultimatum, yes I did see where it was stated that it seemed Sue did or was going to present one to Steve and I did read were some on this forum are suggesting, recommending that Steve essentially place down his own ultimatum to Sue. Tit for Tat is not always the best approach in any type of relationship (traditional or alternative).

You also requested that I please stop cheering Steve on to pursue my path. First off, I am not cheering Steve on to follow my path, I am cheering Steve on to pursue his own path no matter what that path may be or may lead him as long as he and Sue are on the path together and are truly enjoying themselves as married adults. Second, you are a bit humorous as I have been down a similar path as Steve in the past, an alpha path that you were are a fan of. The difference being that I was on a journey, experiencing and learning while on the path much longer than the path in which Steve has been on. I have been in this lifestyle in one way or another for more than 25 years and have experiences that many simply have fantasies of.

What I can agree with you on is that Steve should be listening to what Sue is saying; as I have always stated that a couple should have honest, open and non-judgmental communication. Based on what Steve recently said about what Sue told him and that being that Steve will always be her cuckold. She has already made it clear to Steve that she will always have another man in her life until she can no longer enjoy sexual relationships outside of the marriage. So with that said, I would disagree with you that Steve is seeking a cuck thrill while sacrificing his own marriage. This is a mutual choice of theirs, a mutual path although they are now at the fork in the road of sorts and need to mutually determine which fork in the path they are going to take together OR separately if it comes to that.

Have a goodnight Rak.

SS

 

[tegelad]

@raksdeer ultimatum is a strong word, I would suggest a "warning about wanting what you wish for" ... Cuckolding is a weird diatribe of 100% giving yet being 100% selfish. The duality warps a lot of peoples minds since it upends the normal societal view of two people together forever sharing permanent and infinite intimacy. The reality is life is not black and white.

I see a greater possibility of divorce if Steve gives up the beta ways and then because he is not "all-in" Sue feels short changed and then the deception begins. It also seems that the end date is the 2nd ski trip for this entire phase which has stretched from the holidays last year until mid Feb.

On the flip side in Beta-land .... Steve could become more like a butler, where it starts with Paul owning more and more of his wife, and possibly Steve shifting to his own bedroom. If that happens I would see possible next steps of introducing Paul as a close friend of the family and things starting to diverge. At some point, she will want to finalize on a more public view that Paul and her are a thing and this may start to show in communication with friends at first and possibly others .... seem extreme? She just lost a close loved one recently and may have realized mortality and wants to live life open, fully and honestly .... I think she would respect him if Beta desires are it, but as "the ultimatum" the warning would be not of losing her but never ever being able to claim alpha ever again in her eyes. That is death in a relationship for some women ... other not so much.

As for the alpha path ... Steve better figure out how to get and keep "hard" ... take her and consume her like Paul does week-in and week-out for the rest of their relationship ... because that is what he would be signing up for .... and there is no room for a beta boy when Sue wants an Alpha man ....

 

[peakmb]

Gents,
This is for you, not Steve really as I think by now he is capable of reading comment and determining risk within his marriage.
Teg, yet again you twist whatever is said into your own fantasy. It doesn't have to be realistic because of that and I don't think it would be remotely attractive to either Steve or Sue, or even Paul.
Raks, I mostly agree with you, you tend to a black and white stance sometimes but I tend to think that is because you think a decision is required not it doesn't contain nuance.
Squirmy, as ever you try to preserve a simile of your path together with the belief if could go both ways. Of course there are risks on both sides here. Sure he could be happy with a sexless marriage which may end up with rich emotional content, but I believe the current balance of risk is that he won't because I believe that Sue wants her marriage to be with someone with whom she can share her sexual life with too. As an equal. There is no reason she can't continue with other lovers that don't form a threat to that marriage, indeed both have demonstrated already the shades of how that is possible. This area of the lifestyle seems one where both can be fulfilled and happy so they shouldn't stop that unless they both wish to. No, my belief is that the marriage is at greatest risk long term at present where Steve puts his own current desire for denial above Sue's desire for that to end. I believe it to be an addition for him at the moment and one which Sue has mistakenly pandered to in the past but which she is now concerned by. Hence her escalating warnings. If she was content for him to simply drift into a sexless marriage she wouldn't need the warnings.
So what action to take, what message to give. Sue has said she doesn't want Steve to continually flip flop on this. She wants a clear choice and one which he can't/won't go back on. To do that he must make his stance clear, and at the same time break his addiction. Even if HE still finds that attractive it is not worth risking his marriage for. Hence my comment to him above. He can't back down on that easily and Sue gets a clear message from on equal. It's not telling she can't do something just that Steve will no longer act in a beta way. She will need her own time to absorb it, to consider whether Steve really means it and perhaps to recondition Paul back into a previous state. If he can't snap back it may be the end for him, it may also be what he is happiest doing though. It may even be possible for them all to ski and have sex together. If Sue was just waiting for Steve to decide that could easily happen. What I do believe though is that his week away and the first ski weekend both did great damage and if he does decide to stand back to a previous state there is no point in having another such event.
Yes there is risk everywhere, in everything we do. All we can do is decide where we want to end up and minimise our risk in getting there.

 

[SquirmingSub]

Peak,

The only simile (comparison) that I have made in the respective path(s) between Steve and myself is the fact that I have a good understanding of what Steve has been going through as I have been there myself. It was not my intent nor as it ever been my intent to guide Steve down a path that he was not already going down. I simply convey support based on my own prior experience and yes I have encouraged him to enjoy the journey that he and Sue mutually chosen.

As you and I both have pointed out, Steve is fully capable of determining the risk level of the lifestyle that he has chosen along with the level of risk it may have to his marriage with Sue. As to the remarks about a sexless marriage, do you really think that Steve is experiencing a truly sexless period in his marriage? It seems that there has been a temporary denial in intercourse, there has been a period of two years of restrictions on bare intercourse with few exceptions. There are many couples which have used condoms on a regular basis throughout a relationship/marriage and Steve has described other forms of sexual contact, including exchange of oral, him giving her oral after she has been out with Paul. It also would seem as if they have found other forms of sexual contact even during the absence of bare intercourse.

You may be correct in that the current situation as Steve has recently described it may not be conducive for continuing down the current path due to the risk level involved.

I understand that you believe that Sue wants her marriage to be with someone with whom she can share her sexual life with too. I believe that I know what you meant by the statement although so much can be read into it when you are looking at it from a hot-wife/cuckold perspective. Sharing a sexual life and having balance within a relationship/marriage does not always mean being equals in the bedroom.

You are also correct in saying that there is no reason she can't continue with other lovers that don't form a threat to that marriage and yes both have demonstrated already variations of how that is possible. The question I have is, what does Sue truly want from Steve, want from Paul and how her desires will impact Steve in the short and long term. Those of use on the forum are purely speculating based on the (limited) information in which Steve has shared. This is one of those situations where it would have been good to be able to read post by each of them just as several others couples do on another forum that you and I are both members of.

When going into this lifestyle we should all take into consideration that we should be careful what we each desire or wish for because we might just get it. We all know that reality and fantasy do not always materialize in the same way.

Steve is truly at the point where he does need to make it clear what he want, what he desires, what he can and will live with moving forward. He may be able to do a reset, taking back some of the alpha role and he may also be at the point where he cannot successfully flip that switch back.

You may be correct, it may even be possible for all of them to ski and have sex together assuming that Sue is truly wanting Steve to drop the beta aspects. As to Steve’s week away and this most recent extreme sky weekend, I am not sure I would say that it caused damage as you indicated; what I would say is that it did escalate the current phase and push Steve to determine what he truly desired. You and I both would agree that NOW is a time for Steve to reflect and to be very clear with Sue. Steve truly can not hesitate when he talks to Sue in-depth in the coming week(s).

As far as Rak; I believe you are correct as he does tend to take a black and white stance at times, providing limited flexibility within the shades of gray were many relationship/marriage reside. It is actually amazing at how much we all do agree on; in many cases we simply have very different approaches on how to express it.

SS

 

[Jaxunman]

While we all continue to see things from our own unique perspectives, I think it is time to drop the labels completely. I think this may be causing a bit of friction among the ones responding to this thread. Alpha and Beta are mere labels. Their definitions can and do mean different things to different people.

I am a bit surprised at the direction of the discussion since STB's last updates. In STB's update, I was focusing more on what Sue was trying to warn him of. Sue mentioned approaching a point where she will no longer be able to hold back her feelings and emotions towards Paul. She mentions reaching a point of no return in regards to her no longer desiring a sexual reconnection with Steve. She mentions not truly feeling him when they have had sex and that being something she needs for her to consider their sex meaningful. She gave him a taste of what to expect if he chooses to continue to let another man provide for all her sexual needs during the ski trip. She revealed just how passionate she could be with Paul. Even STB wondered in his post if that is how things really are when they make love at Paul's place. ( many women in this lifestyle prefer playing solo so they can fully let go with a lover without hubby around to see it, so perhaps Sue has shed some light on that issue that others might take heed from). Sue even mentions Steve never feeling her again. We have yet to hear how things have gone in the days since the their return. I think when Sue was dressing Steve down on the ride to the ski resort, it came from a perspective that she recognizes that Steve has gotten lazy and selfish for his preference to masturbate rather than take of her sexual needs himself.

While the discussion here gets lost in alpha and beta labels, journeys to the wonderful world of sexless marriages, and throwing around ultimatums, I think there is a far simpler approach to this. As has been mentioned, we read only one side of all this. We have the liability of everything being filtered through STB'S desires, turn ons, fantasies, and colored glasses. Could the simple answer be that Sue is tired? Tired of having to separate love and sex? For the last several years, Sue has only enjoyed conventional sex with men other than Steve. Sex with no love, no emotion, just sex. At the same time, Sue has not been able to enjoy making love with Steve. Where with him, there is the element of love, the sex is not conventional because Steve always has to have someone else in the room with them, be it physically or mentally. Sue's warnings speak to me that she wants to be able to love the man she is having sex with. She wants that man to be Steve, just Steve. Sue had admittedly researched this lifestyle and has by now most likely read of other couples who share the wife with other men yet still have a very normal marital sex life too.

I have no doubt Sue has enjoyed the games and experiments they have tried, but I see her warnings to Steve as a wake up call that it is time for some normalcy to be restored. I also see her warning as a message that the responsibility for whatever happens to their marriage and relationship from here forward will rest totally with Steve and not her. Sue will be compelled to do what she does from here forward.

That is just my take on it.
Jax

 

[raksdeer]

Bang on Jax. Earlier also I had remarked that while some individuals distinguish between love and sex, doing so would be denying the basic logic of love. You want to become one in love, one with each other complementing each other - not only emotionally, but physically as well. That's how nature has created us.

 

[wingman]

Well gents...all this bickering is really going to encourage STB to keep posting here??!!??

Unless STB likes the negative debate (which I don't recall he does), in which case, have at it.

If he is close to stopping, how's about we don't give him a nudge out the door.

 

[Curt Bruch]

Well gents...all this bickering is really going to encourage STB to keep posting here??!!??

Unless STB likes the negative debate (which I don't recall he does), in which case, have at it.

If he is close to stopping, how's about we don't give him a nudge out the door.

Spot on Wingman. I read the feeding frenzy that occurs after Steve's postings and wonder exactly who/what/why these commentators think they are. For goodness sake folks let Steve tell his story without you irritating him with your half-baked theories and pseudo advice.
Over to you Steve and don't let the B*stards wear you down.

 

[peakmb]

Curt/Wing,
I thought it was only Donald Trump that clung to the no challenging feedback maxim. It seems it's catching.

I'm pretty certain by now that Steve can handle difficult feedback. It's far better for him than nothing. Which is what you both offered him.

It isn't often that the people above end up in pretty much the same place in terms of advice. Albeit from slightly different directions and perspectives but the conclusion to action is almost the same. If Steve pulls further away from posting it won't be because of what any of us said but because he wants to do so himself. He's already pulled partially away so that he can get a clearer perspective. I can see him pulling further away if he does move back to Sue's sexual needs so that he can clear his head further of his habit/addiction to denial and masturbation. That won't be our fault either.

Or are you too addicted yourselves to the jerk fodder sections to care?

 

[Curt Bruch]

Curt/Wing,
I thought it was only Donald Trump that clung to the no challenging feedback maxim. It seems it's catching.

I'm pretty certain by now that Steve can handle difficult feedback. It's far better for him than nothing. Which is what you both offered him.

It isn't often that the people above end up in pretty much the same place in terms of advice. Albeit from slightly different directions and perspectives but the conclusion to action is almost the same. If Steve pulls further away from posting it won't be because of what any of us said but because he wants to do so himself. He's already pulled partially away so that he can get a clearer perspective. I can see him pulling further away if he does move back to Sue's sexual needs so that he can clear his head further of his habit/addiction to denial and masturbation. That won't be our fault either.

Or are you too addicted yourselves to the jerk fodder sections to care?

WTF has Donald Trump to do with anything here?As a Brit I would keep your opinions to yourself on that one. Maybe you might like to make a simile of Jeremy Corbyn just to emphasise your cleverness Lee.

 

[SquirmingSub]

Well, this thread has gone political.... I am out of here....

 

[Curt Bruch]

Well, this thread has gone political.... I am out of here....

SS - you're absolutely right. Please stay and let us all just keep on topic.

 

[SoonToBe]

I will start by saying that I really haven't read the last few posts in detail other than to see where everyone has gone - the reason is that I'm not being given too much of a choice in the matter and she's said pretty bluntly that after our next ski trip with Paul that we can start to talk. When I hemmed and hawed she looked at me and reminded me of what I'd said "....I should look to Paul for my sexual desires...".

She has most definitely taken on the alpha role. When I said that maybe it'd be better if Paul didn't come over this past weekend she said she'd hear nothing of the sort and that as we'd agreed, she was going to have this time to explore and experience the things she wanted. It's been a bit eye-opening to hear her tell how she wants to have as much sex with him as she can in the next few weeks but to see and be a part of it. She told me she'd done everything I wanted and now that I'm telling her that I may want to change things, she wants this time to complete her own desires.

She's looked at me and asked me how I've gone from accepting that I possibly will use condoms for the rest of our lives, to now wanting to give it up so soon. I told her that I wasn't ready to lose her to him and she said that I wouldn't ever "lose me" to him, but that I was right that the time is passing when it may come to the point where she doesn't want to resume with me. She asked me more about it and we talked more yesterday afternoon. He'd left just before lunch and we'd sort of gone back to our more normal routine when we found ourselves sitting on our bed and she started to talk to me. She told me how she felt right then and how she was still warm all over from being with him and she made it a point to tell me how her pussy ached a bit and how she wanted to feel more of that. I told her that I'd seen and heard her quite a bit and she said that it was really amazing at how she truly enjoys sex with him now and she asked me how it felt to know that I'd given her that and yes, given that away to him. I told her honestly that I was torn in so many directions - that it still turns me on to think of that, but at the same time, I told her that the more I saw and heard and was a part of between them, that the more desire and need I felt with her.

She asked me if I was still going to be okay - so to Peak's post about not going skiing again - I said that it wasn't going to be easy and she smiled and said that "it wasn't easy for me to do what you asked... for me to want him as much as I do now...." and as we talked she said she wanted me to know that she knows her limits and that she and Paul have talked and she's even told him that I am "coming around". It will be "...the same but more..." next time we go in just a week from Friday - we're going up a little earlier on Friday this time. I joked that maybe I should stay home and she looked at me and asked me something to the effect of "if you are truly wanting to give up your being my beta, then are you sure you don't want to be there one last time?". But she did make it clear that "I'm going to be his again" and we talked and as I'd told her after the last time - yes, it turned me on to see her with him and to see what she did with him (and how much) - but at the same time, it was really going to push me especially after not having any contact with her until afterwards. In return she simply said "well, it'll be over soon enough baby" and she added that she was sorry but she wasn't going to change her plans and she told me in no uncertain terms that she wanted to be "well fucked" one last time where she feels she can push the envelope - and she added when she looked up at me "if you are truly going to want to change things, then this may be the last time I feel like this with him".

I asked her if she was sorry that we'd done this stuff and she smiled at me and said "only if you are?". I looked at her and she said that she resisted a lot at first but over time she came to have some thoughts more like I do about enjoying sex for sex's sake and not looking further than that. "That's what Paul and I have right now - but we both know we're at the edge of it" and she looked at me and said "the 3 of us can make this work any way" and she continued and said "he's happy for me to do whatever I want with you" and I replied snidely "as long as he still gets to fuck you that is" and she said "yes - that is exactly it - he just enjoys the sex honey - it's me that wants to push your buttons".

She described to me how she felt after I went away for a week and how she felt like she could change into this alternate-role if it was truly what I wanted. I know that's part of what scared her a bit at first. But after the ski-trip she told me that was one of the first times that she truly felt like she was his completely - that there wasn't anything she wouldn't share or feel with him. And how afterwards, she felt like her body was used up by him - and she said she wanted to have that feeling another time with him.

 

[Enigma632]

The choice is clearly Steve's, as Sue said "if you are truly going to want to change things, then this may be the last time I feel like this with him". So Steve has to "truly want to change things" or accept that Sue is no longer his sexually and he has to make this decision soon.

I suggest that he holds his nuts in his hand and decides whether he want to use them or just have them cut off.