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New boyfriend?

  • Thread starterSoonToBe
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  • #201
Steve sounds like things are moving along well. We are all looking forward to reading more, thank you for your continued sharing with the group.
 
  • #202
I don't know what else you talked about last night, but I keep thinking you need to buy a box of condoms and give them to her at thanksgiving, if not before, and tell her you want to do all you can to help her get where she wants to with Paul, and that you know you not coming in her would be a good start.
 
  • #203
danwcap said:
I don't know what else you talked about last night, but I keep thinking you need to buy a box of condoms and give them to her at thanksgiving, if not before, and tell her you want to do all you can to help her get where she wants to with Paul, and that you know you not coming in her would be a good start.

Sounds like a positive suggestion as it could show Sue that Steve is ready for the next step in an effort to help both of them achieve next in there relationship with Paul.
 
  • #204
Or it could show the opposite. It could show Sue that Steve is not ready to accept her control and her timetable. I personally don't think Paul would be ready by thanksgiving anyway. Gift wrapping them as a late Christmas present maybe but not yet. It would make for a sad Santa time for Sue. She needs her last deep orgasm with her husband at this year's end. The symbolism of a clean new year is too good to pass up on. It's one which will also make it easier for her to sustain. Steve's first bareback of 2015 may take some time to appear as a result.
 
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  • #205
STB
Well it look's like thing's are going forward for you to become Sue's beta, has she talked to you about when. she is or want's to the first over night with, Paul. after that it will be going on xmas, do you think he will ask her to go visit . his family for the holday's or is that taking it to far to fast, right now.
or will it all change after you do not cum in her anymore. is his family near by or are they on the other coast. where he went for a week not to long ago.
keep us posted.
 
  • #206
Dana, talk about jumping the gun.....

So - Tuesday's conversation was very revealing in many ways. Without sex to distract us, it was easier for us to both talk.

Rather than try to recap all of what we talked about, easier to share the summarized version. She was very forward with me and openly admitted that at first (years ago) she did this mainly for me, but now she wanted me to know that she was the one who wanted it - other men, other sexual fulfillment - that she had very much come to appreciate and enjoy all of it. She said many things, that she used to think this kind of behavior and desires was slutty or that sort of thing but now she's come to understand that it's really empowering for her and she's recognizing the control she has over her desires. She also told me that whereas a lot of her friends and even relatives all are commenting on how un-sexy they feel and how sex has diminished in their lives, it's the total opposite for her! That plus she said that she is so much more aware of herself sexually and she's said again how "feminine" she feels. I told her that I guess it's sort of how guys feel when they workout or when they're with a hot-lady, etc.

As part of what I'd posted the other day - where she asked me about whether I still felt like a man - she continued after I told her that I didn't feel threatened in that way and went on to ask about the whole beta thing. Again, rather than trying to recap exactly what was said, the summarized version is that she wanted me to confirm that I still want all of this to happen and she admitted that she doesn't feel she can do it if it's not something that I want and she openly said that knowing it makes me feel good is still a big part of what makes her able to do this. Meaning it's not something she wants to force on me. She also again emphasized that "it's okay" if it's what I want and that she doesn't think any less or differently of me in anyway. She admitted that, now years ago, when we first started all of this, that she didn't feel this way - that she felt it was weird. But now she says that she appreciates that I was able to come out and say it and understands how hard it must have been for me to accept for myself.

I'll also add that this extended into last night, however last night was much more when she wanted me to talk to her and open up to her. As I was masturbating last night she was watching and she even commented on how she could see how much it turned me on and commented on how huge my cock looked as I talked about it.

But on Tuesday, she wanted me to try to tell her why I seem to have such a hard time letting go of my alpha-feelings and she told me point-blank that my beta desires, as I'd even told her, meant that she would have her sexual pleasure primarily with Paul. And as part of that, I just had to accept that she was going to make love with Paul and that she was eventually going to cum with him just as she has/does with me. It wasn't an antagonistic conversation at all, instead it was very loving and encouraging where she wants me to feel more comfortable with me accepting all of this. In turn I told her that after this past weekend, that I'd felt better about it and that I did understand what she was saying. At one point she said that she needed to know this is what I wanted in order for her to let herself go and feel more with him. Before I told her anything further she did turn to me and tell me that she wants this too (and immediately added 'as long as it's what you want').

I admitted that I was hesitant about it. I told her what I'd said here many times - that not ever seeing her with Robert made it easier as it wasn't so in-my-face. But again, after this past weekend, it bothered me less and I'm now quite sure that I will get there. She hugged me and again told me she loved me. I told her that it hurt but in a good way, to see her with Paul. She told me that is something she's coming to understand ( and mentioned her pen-pals helping) that it's okay if it still turns me on and is what I want to have happen. She pushed me to talk to her more openly and not to feel so inhibited about my beta feelings and again, emphasized that it's okay if it's what turns me on. I told her that for me at least, that it's hard for me to talk openly about giving her sexual intimacy to Paul. She said she understood that - and in fact last night, she encouraged me to talk to her more about what turned me on.

In the end, Tuesday's conversation focused on her wanting to know that despite my misgivings or apprehensions at times, that it is what I want. She said that she wants to feel confident and to not feel uncertainty from me so that she can carry on based on her own desires and that she doesn't want to have to worry about me. She emphasized that she wants to be sure that if she and Paul are particularly amorous and intimate that she doesn't have to worry that I"m going to be upset or anything. That was when I had to tell her that despite any of my angst and even how I felt on the prior weekends at our house, that even with my ill feelings, that I never felt that I didn't want it to happen. The look on her face at that moment really seemed to finally convince her of my sincerity.

Apparently that broke a bit of a log-jam for her, and me too. Our conversation moved from uncertainly and question/answer to a more open sharing. She told me that it turns her on that she knows that she'll be having more exclusivity with Paul in the future and made it quite clear to me that she was very much looking forward to me starting to use condoms with her again, openly telling me that she knows it will increase the intensity and intimacy she shares with Paul. I told her that it turned me on to think about and that seeing him cum in her last weekend, while the actual moment is still quite angst-filled, that seeing him pull out of her bare and knowing he'd cum in her, that it did reinforce the strange desire I have to let her only have that with him. She squealed that hearing me say that turned her on so much.

We talked a bit about what-ifs.... Before we got into it she looked at me and told me that she wanted this to be a bit more than last time and again said that she didn't want to have too many exceptions where I'd get to feel her bare again (I did not push that, just happy to hear that it wasn't going to be 100% absolute). I asked her if she was still thinking she might want more than just my using condoms. She looked at me and asked me "do you want that?". I was quiet for a second but then took a deep breath and told her "maybe" and I told her that it would depend on how everything was going. She looked at me and asked "would it be something you'd want to try for a little while first and then decide?" and she immediately add that this wouldn't be until sometime next year which relaxed me that it wasn't something she wanted right away. I was honest and told her that if things were good that it might be something different we could try next year which brought about another squeal of delight and a hug and her again repeating that "I want it to be good for you" and I told her that I didn't know why but the thought of it did turn me on.

About the last big thing from Tuesday was her telling me again that I should be the one to tell Paul what we/I want. I told her what I had thought about, suggesting it was something she'd been interested in - and I guess I wasn't surprised really when she said "it should come from you". I told her that I'd thought about that and that I had an idea to tell him that it's something we're doing as a holiday present that I"m giving to her (as opposed to her asking me) and that I hoped I'd be able to say to Paul that in a way, it's a present for him too. She asked me how I was going to feel telling him that and when I thought I would do so. I told her that I hoped I would feel good about it and that I hoped he'd take it the right way. I told her that I thought I'd tell him when it got closer to Christmas. She smiled broadly and told me how good that sounded and then she said that she would start to mention things to him a little so that maybe it wouldn't be quite the surprise. I asked her again if she might tell him and she looked at me and said that it's something I should do and even mentioned that it is something a "beta" should do.

Now of course we talked about some of my fears, concerns and apprehensions too. I told her that I feared that we might not be able to get back to "just us" and she pooh-poohed that and pointed out that we had no problem getting back to "just us" for almost the past year. I didn't tell her that she's also fucked 3 new guys in that time - Glenn, Tony and now Paul - but I still did feel good about how she emphasized how we did get back together. I also told her that I wasn't sure how I was going to feel being around them after New Years. She held me tightly at that point and said that she was sure that Paul wouldn't make me feel weird about it and that she would be sure to keep him in line and that she was sure that if she was turned on by it, that he would be too. She reminded me of how I was when she was with Don and I didn't have sex with her at all at his place. I told her that Paul and Don were different people and that Don was a more aggressive person. She agreed but said that Paul cares about her and has said that he wants this to work for all of us so she thinks it'll be fine and then asked me if I thought I'd be turned on if I'd have used a condom with her this past Saturday. I told her that if the circumstances were right and I was comfortable with it, that it probably would have been okay.

So, as I said, we got a lot out in the open on Tuesday such that last night was somewhat enlightening. But that will have to wait till after lunch.
 
  • #207
I'll just add here for now that last night, as I'd already mentioned continued on with Tuesday's conversation in new ways.
She pushed and encouraged me to tell her what turned me on about everything and what I thought about. She told me I shouldn't feel I need to hold back and that she likes hearing all that I'm thinking about and to know what turns me on. Thing is, it's how she said it, so understandingly and so empathetically. I think I may be finally easing up on my own over-thinking about all of this knowing she is really good with it all.

She pushed me and gave me some starting thoughts - she wanted to know all that I thought about watching them together and that I should tell her how it makes me feel and not just that it turned me on. It wasn't easy at first but she was really a good listener and encouraged me to not feel like I couldn't be graphic with her. I told her how it made me ache inside to see her own wetness around his cock in her and how I knew just what he was feeling inside her and how incredible it was to know she was wanting it. I told her how it gave me angst to see her spread her legs and reveal all of herself to the man who will soon be fucking her.

I told her honestly how it made me feel a little ill at first but then how towards the end, it made me feel really turned on so see her responding and kissing him and being intimate with him. She giggled at how hard my cock was as I told her my thoughts. I was honest, I told her that the thought of his cum filling her pussy instead of mine was something that would forever keep me hard and horny. I told her that seeing her lose herself with him made me feel good knowing she was enjoying herself and sharing herself with him.

It was when she pushed me to tell her about my thoughts about using condoms with her that I really got hard and she noticed it for sure! I told her that the thoughts of it were starting to really turn me on. That I'd thought about being that horny and knowing she didn't want me to cum in her was something that reallly got to me and would always make me feel aroused. She teased me a bit about "that's all you get as my beta" and then she even said that I shouldn't even get to make her cum as her beta-man and that only her alpha-man should be the one to make her cum. She teased me that I'd been a good-boy last Saturday by just getting myself off in her and not pushing her sexually to cum or respond to me too much. She said she really loved that I was so good about that and that it made her feel really close to Paul afterwards to know she'd only cum with him.

She asked me if I was okay with that, emphasizing that "it's what you asked for" that only Paul would make her cum after New Years eve? I moaned back a firm yes and told her that it's something I did want to feel and explore. But that was it, she'd gotten my mind a racing.... I can't even tell you what she said in the end that set me off or whether it was my own thoughts or whether it was her telling me she'll feel all of that today (Thursday) when she sees him again - all I know is she gasped out loud as I was really into stroking (almost reminded me of a line from comedian Amy Schumer about watching a guy jerking off when she says to him "you must be really mad a it?") and all of a sudden I felt it just let loose. She gasped and squealed at how suddenly and without a lot of notice I'd cum and afterwards she came up and kissed my cheek and told me again how sexy it looked when I'd cum like that and how it turned her on that it wasn't in her as she swept the thick spurts into one pool. As she brought it to my lips on her fingers she looked at me and asked if cumming on Wednesday nights makes it easier for me on Thursdays and I nodded my head and told her yes. I didn't say it but I KNOW she thought about whether I should masturbate on Friday or even on Saturday's to make it so I didn't need her so much when he's here.
 
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  • #208
Steve now that was two amazing and deep detailed updates expressing the thoughts and feelings between you and Sue. Sounds like positive progress and a solid direction for the three of you together.
 
  • #209
Steve, check out my pm to you re a talk with Paul . . .
 
  • #210
Cocu - just replied to you.

So, again, I read back on some of what I've posted here and as Harry would say, yeah yeah, you did that with Frank and with Sam and Charlie before that. What I can't emphasize is that it feels so new each time. Yeah, I've seen her having sex probably hundreds of times over these past few years - of course it is exciting, it always is. But seeing her with someone new, seeing their comfort and closeness increase, knowing what is happening as I watch from week to week. It is incredibly intoxicating.

Even tonight - now - truly knowing how they are together, I cannot tell you how turned on I am that she is likely at his place and likely to be naked or just in his button-up shirt by now. Yes, she's done that for years now, but knowing it's a new guy and that he is seeing her develop and come out of her shell for him right in front of his eyes too. I am rock hard thinking about it even after jerking off intensely last night. I'm sure the feelings and intensity will fade once it becomes something that is not-so-new, but the arousal is always there.

This morning as she pranced around naked - her pussy still very bare (which I know is for him because by now every other year, she's let it grow in a bit) - it sounds weird in my head but all I can think about is his cock being buried in her pussy. Even when she's dressed or we're out somewhere I think about it but seeing her naked, it consumes me. I find myself at times trying to see if she's still wet from him or if she's visibly wet or aroused, again, now knowing she's likely thinking about him.

I will say that whoever is advising Sue, that he is doing a great job of steering her. I really do feel a lot more comfortable the more we talk and the more she reassures me that it's all good for both of us. I will admit that even after admitting my beta desires to her, that it was only recently that I think I truly feel that she may have accepted it. I cannot express how turned on it makes me to think of her wanting to exclude me sexually. It sounds weird but I love knowing that another man wants her as much as he does and that she very much wants him.

There's just a lot of stuff in my head that is still swirling around.
 
  • #211
Ehhh - not into sitting around waiting for her to come home later. Heading out to man's second home - Home Depot....
 
  • #212
SoonToBe said:
".....I read back on some of what I've posted here and as Harry would say, yeah yeah, you did that with Frank and with Sam and Charlie before that."

No, Steve, If I considered this 'Same dance - Different Partner' I wouldn't even be reading here. Sure I question you on some points, and yes I probably have compared one affair to a previous one, but I have also 'defended you' to some who say it's all B. S. I don't have time to say all the reasons I read your 'journal' right now, but I can say that it's with a great deal of 'curiosity,' and that this is nearly the only series of "threads" that I come here to read.

Apologies accepted!!!

Cheers, Harry
 
  • #213
STB
I was not looking to jump the gun, it is that thing's are moving very fast with Sue and Paul. so it looked like it would be somewhat the next. step in there time togather. so yes i may have gotten ahead of thing's, but i think it is just around the bend now. the new year is just a blink of an eye away.
now and you know by what you and Sue have talked about thing's will change big time then so good luck and have fun.
keep us posted.
 
  • #214
New Years is truly just around the corner, the next 45 to 60 days are going to be by fast for Sue and yourself. We all are looking forward to following your journey.
 
  • #215
Steve, above you wrote:

"We talked a bit about what-ifs.... Before we got into it she looked at me and told me that she wanted this to be a bit more than last time and again said that she didn't want to have too many exceptions where I'd get to feel her bare again (I did not push that, just happy to hear that it wasn't going to be 100% absolute). I asked her if she was still thinking she might want more than just my using condoms. She looked at me and asked me "do you want that?". I was quiet for a second but then took a deep breath and told her "maybe" and I told her that it would depend on how everything was going. She looked at me and asked "would it be something you'd want to try for a little while first and then decide?" and she immediately add that this wouldn't be until sometime next year which relaxed me that it wasn't something she wanted right away. I was honest and told her that if things were good that it might be something different we could try next year which brought about another squeal of delight and a hug and her again repeating that "I want it to be good for you" and I told her that I didn't know why but the thought of it did turn me on."

I don't know what you're referring to here, would you please illuminate me.

Thank you, Mino
 
  • #216
SoonToBe said:
Ehhh - not into sitting around waiting for her to come home later. Heading out to man's second home - Home Depot....

Steve, are you saying you are getting a little 'tired' of this "marry-go-round"?

Cheers, Harry
 
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  • #217
From my perspective, my two cents worth of sorts, I do not think Steve is tired of what was referred to as the "marry-go-around" or what I would even consider the lifestyle roller coaster as it would seem to me that Steve has reached that point between desire, fantasy and reality of what currently is verses the desire and reality of what could be his future with Sue. Some men enjoy the waiting, some men prefer to be in the same house or even in the same room although with the direction they are going as a couple there will likely be a mix both. There will continue to be an emotional lifestyle roller coaster at least until the point of the three of them coming to terms with what each of them are comfortable with and would like from the creatively connected relationship. The three of them are on there way of building a strong foundation for what could be a truly great relationship with an alpha man, a beta man and a wonderful woman for the two to share in there own respective ways.
 
  • #218
So Steve, you excited that the day of you becoming a "Hand Only" Beta Cuckold is finally going to come and that Sue is really looking foward to it also?

You looking forward to your first true Beta experience of having to tell Paul that your going to be a hand only husband so he and Sue can be totally exclusive sexually?
 
  • #219
SquirmingSub said:
"From my perspective, my two cents worth of sorts, I do not think Steve is tired of what was referred to as the "marry-go-around" or what I would even consider the lifestyle roller coaster"

Squirming, I was responding solely to Steve's comment: "Ehhh - not into sitting around waiting for her to come home later. Heading out to man's second home - Home Depot."

Not to any of the other multitudes of pages of His thought's centering mostly on what he likes about, how and what He & Sue have chosen to do.

I was amused by his comment, and thought to respond to it. What it caused me to think at the moment was 'this may repeat many times'!!

Cheers, Harry
 
  • #220
A few minutes before bed.
Yes, Paul will again be coming over tomorrow - Sue told me earlier tonight that it will be good for me to get used to it. I didn't disagree.

Mino - those references were to the sometimes discussed thought of her only having sex with Paul and fully denying me access to her. I'm actually comforted that she's moved away from that extreme, at least for now but she does enjoy teasing me about it. That leads to Pnis' post in that the date for this level of denial is still quite a ways away.

Squirming, I think we're still evolving on a lot of what you said. Until things are more out in the open with Paul regarding this last part of our relationship, I think it's too early to know how things will work out. If Paul stays the nice guy he seems to be so far, it may move in one direction. If not, it could go elsewhere.

Didn't spend any money (well, not much) at Home Depot but did get some ideas to put on Holiday gift-lists...

Kind of tired and wired right now.
 
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