Hey all. Harry/Will - I don't see Sue going out looking for guys. Our social circles don't really involve people or circumstances when that could go on. Sue's not really the kind to go out to clubs and such alone and at least now, I don't see her wanting to put an ad up on a website. I say that is for now - I CAN see her doing these things if/when things end with Frank or if/when she tires of him and decides for herself that she wants more and isn't willing to leave it to chance or coincidence as has happened thus far.
We've had some pretty frank (hey - a pun!) discussions on things including denial and her admission of being turned on by me not cumming in her. As I stated earlier, she says she doesn't find herself being turned on directly by denying me - and that's what leads back to what I posted earlier. If she didn't have a lover, she would not deny me at all because as she says "denying you is then denying me". So, when last night after we'd finished having sex she told me that she'll be seeing Frank this Thursday again and as she did so she said "so these will be going back on" and with that she stepped into her panties and pulled them up.
Now, we've talked more, much more, about her feelings on all of this. She says it does turn her on in many ways knowing she is denying me AND will be having sex with Frank next, but just withholding it from me doesn't do all that much for her - yes, knowing it turns me on does give her satisfaction but that's not enough on its own. She said that this part of it IS a turn-on for her in many ways - empowerment in that she is controlling not just her own sex, but also mine and Franks. It also turns her on that she is keeping her husband out of her pussy while she waits/prepares to see her lover. As she said it "it turns me on that my lover will have me next and not you".
We talked about resuming our Wednesday routine and she opened up that when she knows she's seeing Frank, that it turns her on intensely to see me "waste my cum" especially when she's seeing Frank the next night. She said that seeing me jerk-off and cum like that also conveys to her that I truly want her to be with Frank and that too turns her on. And that obviously led into the whole discussion we'd beaten-around-the-bush on which is what she's said about my not cumming in her.
She said she's convinced that having just Frank cum in her as much as he did before and during their trip - that it really was part of what helped her to let go and enjoy herself as she did. She also said that she can almost "feel" the difference in her desire for him since she's been back and I've resumed having sex with her. She's admitted that she really didn't think it would affect her and she admits that she's unsure if it's mental (just knowing I'm not cumming in her) or if it's really physical (hormonal?). The thing is, she's also said that she doesn't want it to be something that we never do again (me cum in her) but that she'd like it to be something that "worked for both of us". Of course she asked me how I felt about it and I told her that it was part of the same feeling of denial that I was turned on about, just another side of the same feeling and desires - and repeated the same thing I'd said all along and what she'd said - that it needs to work for both of us and that I too didn't want it to be something that eventually came between us if it went on too long. So I asked the million dollar question - I asked her "is it the sex itself? or is it just me cumming?" She didn't understand what I meant so I said "is it that we don't have sex at all? or is it just that you don't want me to cum in you?" and before she answered I said it - "what if I pulled out or even used a condom?". She smiled at me and said she didn't know the answer to that and she was honest - she said that she didn't know how she'd feel if the only difference was that I just didn't cum in he but we still had sex. Before I could answer and discuss it more she said "but it doesn't matter because Frank isn't the guy I'd want to try it out with" and she reiterated what she'd said earlier about him not being that-kind-of-guy. In response I told her that when she felt she was ready to talk about it more, that I'd be there and that as long as we talked about it, that I was sure we'd find some arrangement that worked for us.
So, last night in bed she brought out some new teasing taunts. As we got started last night she began to throw in some new teases "better have me now while you still can" and as we were fucking she would look up at me and say "better make it good, this could be the last time for a while" and at one point she even said "maybe you should pull out at the end and see how it is" and "maybe a condom would work - keep your cum out of me?". Between all of that and what she teases me with normally "Franks going to have me next" and the like - that I soon was at the bursting point! She pulled her knees way back and said to me in this sexy voice "this is how Frank liked it" and she wasn't arching her back, just pulling her legs back to her chest - and wow did that feel intense. She cooed at me "come on give it to me good so you don't mind waiting till Friday to have me". Just hearing her say it all plus the conversation we'd had put me on the edge and a second later she teased "pretend it's the last time you'll have me". OMG - that did it - just how she said it did it to me - I blasted a huge load into her pussy - enough that she squealed too! It felt to me like it was huge and she confirmed it a few moments later when it came gushing back out of her. She looked up at me and said "one day you're not going to make this much of a mess in me" and she giggled and pulled me close and at that point she said "unless you need to, I'll always be here if you need to, you know that baby".
So - that pretty much brings everyone up to date. I'm not sure if I answered everyone's questions or issues - I'm not even sure if I answered my own. I just know that for now, I'm not worried about her and Frank and when/if that changes, well, that's when I think we'll have turned to a new page in the book.
