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My wait begins
- Thread starterSoonToBe
- Start date
- Status
SoonToBe said:
Your 'waffling' again. That could be dangerous!
Sometimes it's worse, waiting for the 'other shoe to drop' than the reality. It seems that you expect for there to be some change. Maybe some form of 'more denial' (?) Several here have taken up with Peak's advise. I do too! Consider very carefully what you may be asked to agree to.
Perhaps, A good place for you to determine what Sue intends, is to have her define what she meant by her statement on Sun. Sep. 23rd.: [Sue]"pointed at me and said "you are my husband and he is not." She pointed at Frank and said "you are my lover," followed by, "this trip isn't going to change that."..... Now, post-trip, what, if anything, implied there, still applies.
I know that in some way's, you are intrigued by Cuck-Rick's scenario. But you have said many times, (and Sue has too), that you will not 'give up' sex with each other. Period!
You have been 'denied' one week at the request of Don. Now you have been 'denied' two weeks. From what you have written, I don't think you 'felt good' about either experience. Take that into consideration too.
BTW, Peak & Jax, An overwhelming percentage of Husbands Do have sex with their wives. I was not implying otherwise!!!
Cheers, Harry
Steve,
I can see the benefits of two weeks off and a week away for Sue. She clearly got a lot out of it and not just the sex. Frank clearly probably got the women of his dreams for two weeks. For a once a week man, he did well but he might be glad of his rest this week. For you though, so far, so little reward for such abstenance. After wedding it was more, this time after greater denial it doesn't seem equitable. If this is truly what you want, you have evolved to this. If not, maybe Sue has gone too far in her belief of your desires. Especially if she is now using further denial to go further than you want to be. You need to tell Sue what you really want, preferably after you have just made love. Then maybe you can tell us!
I can see the benefits of two weeks off and a week away for Sue. She clearly got a lot out of it and not just the sex. Frank clearly probably got the women of his dreams for two weeks. For a once a week man, he did well but he might be glad of his rest this week. For you though, so far, so little reward for such abstenance. After wedding it was more, this time after greater denial it doesn't seem equitable. If this is truly what you want, you have evolved to this. If not, maybe Sue has gone too far in her belief of your desires. Especially if she is now using further denial to go further than you want to be. You need to tell Sue what you really want, preferably after you have just made love. Then maybe you can tell us!
W
will2112001
Guest
peakmb said:
I have to say Peak is right on this one. I not really sure what You want. Hell Do You Really Know? I will be the first to say I do not understand Rick and Brenda's Relationship. (its not up to Me to understand It. It seems to work for them). But when You make it public here. Be prepared for whatever comes Your way. I can see where this will not work for You. But Steve what is it that You are looking for?
I truely can see where Sue may be going of in a direction You may not want to go.
It may be time to call a time out. Sit down (No Wine), Talk. What is it Sue wants. What is it Steve wants. Get back on the same page. Or at least in the same chapter. This is where train wrecks happen.
"This is where train wrecks happen. "
I fear it has already happened. Sue is enjoying her new found boldness and assertiveness to do what she wants. It's only when she takes a decision that she asks Steve if it's too much for him to handle. And then comforts him with "It'll be good for him to wait".
I might be wrong. But this is the pattern things have assumed.
I fear it has already happened. Sue is enjoying her new found boldness and assertiveness to do what she wants. It's only when she takes a decision that she asks Steve if it's too much for him to handle. And then comforts him with "It'll be good for him to wait".
I might be wrong. But this is the pattern things have assumed.
Wow - so much to reply to. Before I go into what we started talking about tonight (after a very spontaneous bout in bed!) isn't over yet, but as I'll explain, I feel good about it, at least for now.
Perhaps I understated the intensity of the sex with her when she came home - Peak and other compared my response to her return from the wedding to this time and in that sense, perhaps I didn't adequately emphasize the pleasure that came with it - and continues to do so.
What do I want? I don't know. But apparently I'm not alone - as Sue has the same sort of questioning feeling right now herself.
Let me explain - because as we talked, I began to better understand her and she, me.
I had thought we were going to start this talk tonight when we went up to the bedroom about 9pm. Our daughter was skyping with friends and her boyfriend as she did her homework and they all watched TV together - was Glee on tonight? Why do teenage girls like that show?
Anyway - in the bedroom she turned and basically said that we should have a quickie before we started to talk. When I got her undressed and she did me, I felt her pussy and it was wet but not drenched as it had been earlier in the week. Nonetheless, no lubricants were needed and in the end - she had a screeching orgasm just before my own and I guess my motions carried her along all the way. It really felt great to feel in sync with her and she was right, it did feel easier to talk lying there afterwards.
She basically came out with it and asked me "how would you feel if you didn't do that?" I wasn't ready for the blunt start of the conversation but rolled up on my side towards her and said "do what?" She looked at me and she said "you know - cum in me.". I was a bit surprised that she just came out and said it and asked it. She said "I know you said it turns you on and I want to know how you liked it last week and the week before?".
I think she was being blunt like this because it was just easier for her to come out and say it rather than trying to work around it. I'd just cum so I'm not totally sure of what I was feeling. I told her that it turned me on. She asked me why and I said something to the effect of "it turns me on that you want that".
Then she asked me something really interesting. She said "does it only turn you on if I am seeing someone else?". I didn't understand what she meant but she explained further that she wanted to know whether if she just denied me but didn't have sex with anyone else, whether that would turn me on?
I hadn't really thought of this in this way before and I told her so. She encouraged me to think about it and to be honest with her. It didn't really take me that long to think it through - but it did make me realize that it isn't just her denying me that turns me on, but it is definitely that she has sex with Frank.
She held my hand and she asked me if I enjoyed masturbating (in the last 2 weeks) and I wasn't shy and nodded my head yes. It felt like it was my turn to ask her a question in the conversation, so I asked her "how was it just being with him?". I thought I would have had a bit more trouble asking her that but it seemed to just flow at the moment. She didn't answer right away and I sensed she needed something else so I said "did it help get you what you wanted to feel?".
I think she might have been on the edge of shedding a tear at that moment so I held her hand and said some stuff about it being okay and that I wanted her to be able to do what she wanted if it meant her happiness - and I went for broke and said "after the stress with your dad, you needed it".
She took my hand again and she started to say how she felt it affected her - mentally yes, it made her horny to think about and be doing, especially when she saw my reactions. But then she looked at me and said that she thought it was also a physical thing and she said that each time she'd see Frank before they left, even if it was just a quickie, that it felt like she started to want him more. She said that "by the time we went away, I think it really made me want him" and she was quiet for a moment and said "it might be what made it so good". She said that she was thinking that when we go away and I can get her all crazy, that it's (usually) just me who cums in her before and certainly while we're away - and she was starting to think maybe it helped her last week. I was quiet and she asked me what I was thinking and I immediately said that "I can't give you up forever" - and maybe I had a look on my face of fear or something because she leaned over and said something like "...ohhhh sweetie, we're just talking now..." and she proceeded to start to explain more of what she was feeling.
She said that for her it was knowing she'd have all of that time with him and that she did know from going to the wedding with him that "he could get horny" and she said that the closer she got to going away with him - and after seeing him virtually every other day - the more she was looking forward to it. But what she said next was something that floored me and took me totally by surprise - "he'd never do that at home - have sex with me that much" - and a second later she said "he never wants it that much".
Well - the conversation got pretty intense after that for a bit. She said that my admission that it's her being with Frank that is a part of denial is "sort of the same of what I'm feeling". It sounded weird to hear but she explained that what she's understanding of it all is that - the denial turns me on because it involves her having sex with her lover. For her, the denial turns her on in the same way - and - the admission out in the open from both of us is that denial for denial's sake doesn't work for either of us. She said she still doesn't feel a satisfaction out of denying me but she now most definitely enjoys knowing it turns me on.
So - it is Frank who is the limiting factor here. And I asked her candidly about it. I didn't mention Don as I didn't want to stir up bad memories so I asked her simply if she wished Frank were more aggressive. She giggled and said almost instantly "yes" and then added "I've been trying ... I know he has it in him....". My head was spinning from what I'd been hearing for 20 minutes or more. So I finally asked "what does that mean about Frank and you?" and she giggled again and said "nothing sweetie, for now, this is fun" and she kissed me and said "you'd better enjoy me this weekend, next week I think I'm going back to panties" - and she reached down and felt my cock and damn if it wasn't a bit swollen up despite just having had sex not much earlier.
I wasn't happy to leave it there though. There was still too much unsaid - she'd started down a path earlier that she hadn't gone back to - she'd asked me how I'd feel if I didn't cum in her. I hadn't fully answered when she said "so, if we were to go away again, you'd be okay with me doing it again?". I told her that if all was well between us like it seems to be now, that I would be okay with it.
So - I'm now almost instantly thinking that maybe she's seeing that she can get this out of Frank if she can get him alone for a few days.
I probably should have just left it there and simply said again "that would turn me on". But noooo. I just went with the flow and I asked "what if Frank or whoever wanted more?". She kissed me and said "that would be something we would have to talk about". It was the mood. It was the moment - I just kept going and asked "is it something you'd want?" She smiled and said "maybe" and she immediately asked me "what about you? is that what you'd want?" My spur of the moment answer was "maybe yes - but I could never not have you". And that was the second borderline tear moment for her as she hugged me and said "me too".
Our conversation was interrupted by our daughter going to bed - and after that, I think we were both talked-out and - well, I felt good about it. We watched some more TV for a bit and then turned over and went off to sleep - however I got to maybe 11:15 when I started snoring and was banished to the office to sleep on the guest-bed - which is why I'm here now and not cuddled up next to her at almost 1am.
So - my conclusion is that I have a bit more time before things may happen, if they happen. It's apparent that other's comments about Frank appear to be true - he simply doesn't want sex as much as Sue would like him to - but it is good with him and I think she's just content to see where this present thing with Frank goes to. She is certainly not falling for him, nor him for her. However, I think the writing is on the wall for what type of guy she will look for as her next lover - and when that time comes with someone new or if Frank "grows a pair" - that will be when she'll want to discuss something more than what she currently does denial-wise.
Somehow I find all of this a bit anticlimactic at this point.
Perhaps I understated the intensity of the sex with her when she came home - Peak and other compared my response to her return from the wedding to this time and in that sense, perhaps I didn't adequately emphasize the pleasure that came with it - and continues to do so.
What do I want? I don't know. But apparently I'm not alone - as Sue has the same sort of questioning feeling right now herself.
Let me explain - because as we talked, I began to better understand her and she, me.
I had thought we were going to start this talk tonight when we went up to the bedroom about 9pm. Our daughter was skyping with friends and her boyfriend as she did her homework and they all watched TV together - was Glee on tonight? Why do teenage girls like that show?
Anyway - in the bedroom she turned and basically said that we should have a quickie before we started to talk. When I got her undressed and she did me, I felt her pussy and it was wet but not drenched as it had been earlier in the week. Nonetheless, no lubricants were needed and in the end - she had a screeching orgasm just before my own and I guess my motions carried her along all the way. It really felt great to feel in sync with her and she was right, it did feel easier to talk lying there afterwards.
She basically came out with it and asked me "how would you feel if you didn't do that?" I wasn't ready for the blunt start of the conversation but rolled up on my side towards her and said "do what?" She looked at me and she said "you know - cum in me.". I was a bit surprised that she just came out and said it and asked it. She said "I know you said it turns you on and I want to know how you liked it last week and the week before?".
I think she was being blunt like this because it was just easier for her to come out and say it rather than trying to work around it. I'd just cum so I'm not totally sure of what I was feeling. I told her that it turned me on. She asked me why and I said something to the effect of "it turns me on that you want that".
Then she asked me something really interesting. She said "does it only turn you on if I am seeing someone else?". I didn't understand what she meant but she explained further that she wanted to know whether if she just denied me but didn't have sex with anyone else, whether that would turn me on?
I hadn't really thought of this in this way before and I told her so. She encouraged me to think about it and to be honest with her. It didn't really take me that long to think it through - but it did make me realize that it isn't just her denying me that turns me on, but it is definitely that she has sex with Frank.
She held my hand and she asked me if I enjoyed masturbating (in the last 2 weeks) and I wasn't shy and nodded my head yes. It felt like it was my turn to ask her a question in the conversation, so I asked her "how was it just being with him?". I thought I would have had a bit more trouble asking her that but it seemed to just flow at the moment. She didn't answer right away and I sensed she needed something else so I said "did it help get you what you wanted to feel?".
I think she might have been on the edge of shedding a tear at that moment so I held her hand and said some stuff about it being okay and that I wanted her to be able to do what she wanted if it meant her happiness - and I went for broke and said "after the stress with your dad, you needed it".
She took my hand again and she started to say how she felt it affected her - mentally yes, it made her horny to think about and be doing, especially when she saw my reactions. But then she looked at me and said that she thought it was also a physical thing and she said that each time she'd see Frank before they left, even if it was just a quickie, that it felt like she started to want him more. She said that "by the time we went away, I think it really made me want him" and she was quiet for a moment and said "it might be what made it so good". She said that she was thinking that when we go away and I can get her all crazy, that it's (usually) just me who cums in her before and certainly while we're away - and she was starting to think maybe it helped her last week. I was quiet and she asked me what I was thinking and I immediately said that "I can't give you up forever" - and maybe I had a look on my face of fear or something because she leaned over and said something like "...ohhhh sweetie, we're just talking now..." and she proceeded to start to explain more of what she was feeling.
She said that for her it was knowing she'd have all of that time with him and that she did know from going to the wedding with him that "he could get horny" and she said that the closer she got to going away with him - and after seeing him virtually every other day - the more she was looking forward to it. But what she said next was something that floored me and took me totally by surprise - "he'd never do that at home - have sex with me that much" - and a second later she said "he never wants it that much".
Well - the conversation got pretty intense after that for a bit. She said that my admission that it's her being with Frank that is a part of denial is "sort of the same of what I'm feeling". It sounded weird to hear but she explained that what she's understanding of it all is that - the denial turns me on because it involves her having sex with her lover. For her, the denial turns her on in the same way - and - the admission out in the open from both of us is that denial for denial's sake doesn't work for either of us. She said she still doesn't feel a satisfaction out of denying me but she now most definitely enjoys knowing it turns me on.
So - it is Frank who is the limiting factor here. And I asked her candidly about it. I didn't mention Don as I didn't want to stir up bad memories so I asked her simply if she wished Frank were more aggressive. She giggled and said almost instantly "yes" and then added "I've been trying ... I know he has it in him....". My head was spinning from what I'd been hearing for 20 minutes or more. So I finally asked "what does that mean about Frank and you?" and she giggled again and said "nothing sweetie, for now, this is fun" and she kissed me and said "you'd better enjoy me this weekend, next week I think I'm going back to panties" - and she reached down and felt my cock and damn if it wasn't a bit swollen up despite just having had sex not much earlier.
I wasn't happy to leave it there though. There was still too much unsaid - she'd started down a path earlier that she hadn't gone back to - she'd asked me how I'd feel if I didn't cum in her. I hadn't fully answered when she said "so, if we were to go away again, you'd be okay with me doing it again?". I told her that if all was well between us like it seems to be now, that I would be okay with it.
So - I'm now almost instantly thinking that maybe she's seeing that she can get this out of Frank if she can get him alone for a few days.
I probably should have just left it there and simply said again "that would turn me on". But noooo. I just went with the flow and I asked "what if Frank or whoever wanted more?". She kissed me and said "that would be something we would have to talk about". It was the mood. It was the moment - I just kept going and asked "is it something you'd want?" She smiled and said "maybe" and she immediately asked me "what about you? is that what you'd want?" My spur of the moment answer was "maybe yes - but I could never not have you". And that was the second borderline tear moment for her as she hugged me and said "me too".
Our conversation was interrupted by our daughter going to bed - and after that, I think we were both talked-out and - well, I felt good about it. We watched some more TV for a bit and then turned over and went off to sleep - however I got to maybe 11:15 when I started snoring and was banished to the office to sleep on the guest-bed - which is why I'm here now and not cuddled up next to her at almost 1am.
So - my conclusion is that I have a bit more time before things may happen, if they happen. It's apparent that other's comments about Frank appear to be true - he simply doesn't want sex as much as Sue would like him to - but it is good with him and I think she's just content to see where this present thing with Frank goes to. She is certainly not falling for him, nor him for her. However, I think the writing is on the wall for what type of guy she will look for as her next lover - and when that time comes with someone new or if Frank "grows a pair" - that will be when she'll want to discuss something more than what she currently does denial-wise.
Somehow I find all of this a bit anticlimactic at this point.
Hey Harry. I'm off today - gotta use up my vacation time before I lose it.
I'm pretty much the only one who snores. Most of the time she says it's tolerable but we're into the fall allergy season right now and that seems to affect things.
I don't think Sue frets over this stuff such that it affects her sleep like it does mine. She tends to do more of her worrying during the daytime!
I've been thinking about the conversation all morning and I think we're in a good place for now. I'm not sure what the future has for her and Frank as this is the most I've heard her comment on him in a negative way that reminds me of what others here posted, that she may not be so much tiring of him but possibly that she wants more than he can give her. I do believe if she would let herself truly accept what she wants - that I do think she would enjoy a more aggressive, even more dominant lover than Frank is. I know the risks that each step down this line brings - but I also know that it would be very awesome to see her being pulled by another guy further along and to see if she would let it happen and how she'd respond. Thing is, I don't know how she'd ever meet such a guy.
I'm pretty much the only one who snores. Most of the time she says it's tolerable but we're into the fall allergy season right now and that seems to affect things.
I don't think Sue frets over this stuff such that it affects her sleep like it does mine. She tends to do more of her worrying during the daytime!
I've been thinking about the conversation all morning and I think we're in a good place for now. I'm not sure what the future has for her and Frank as this is the most I've heard her comment on him in a negative way that reminds me of what others here posted, that she may not be so much tiring of him but possibly that she wants more than he can give her. I do believe if she would let herself truly accept what she wants - that I do think she would enjoy a more aggressive, even more dominant lover than Frank is. I know the risks that each step down this line brings - but I also know that it would be very awesome to see her being pulled by another guy further along and to see if she would let it happen and how she'd respond. Thing is, I don't know how she'd ever meet such a guy.
STB
sound's like you and sue have got most of it worked out for now.
and it does sound like sue want's alot more than frank can give her.
did sue hint about her and frank maybe going away again real soon for a few day's.
and how would you feel about that so soon after there last trip togather.
and it sound's as if you and sue still have some of the pink-elephant in the room to talk about yet.
good luck and enjoy keep us posted
sound's like you and sue have got most of it worked out for now.
and it does sound like sue want's alot more than frank can give her.
did sue hint about her and frank maybe going away again real soon for a few day's.
and how would you feel about that so soon after there last trip togather.
and it sound's as if you and sue still have some of the pink-elephant in the room to talk about yet.
good luck and enjoy keep us posted
Frank don’t need to “get a pair.”
Steve, The reason I asked about Sue is that, as I expected, she don't fret about this at all. She knows she is 'in control'.
Frank is doing fine. He is able to provide Sue with great sex, every time she comes to him. Whether it’s once a week on Thursday, every other day as in the week before the trip or 10X while they were gone.
Frank is willing and able to ‘go with the flow.’ He is keeping a very casual attitude about their affair. It is Sue that desires and wants him. I doubt that Frank looses any sleep over this whole situation. I doubt that he does much calling, texting or E-mailing of Sue. Although it was Frank that invited Sue to the wedding, It was her that wanted to go to Charlotte with him.
Sue is a little ‘perplexed’ that he don’t pursue her, *(she apparently expects that from her men) but he is very capable as a lover, gives her what she need's and is valuable for her, to ‘push your buttons’ and, as we now know, essential in her, ‘denying you.’
You should study Frank. I think you would do much better with Sue, and sleep much better, by assuming his attitude in all this.
It was mentioned by another poster, about you using condoms. My opinion is that if it came to a decision of "condoms or no sex," definitely choose, 'no sex'. You've got to 'draw the line' somewhere. She will 'give in' on that one.
*(you might recall that Brad ‘flirted’ with her for several weeks before they got together. Also he talked very little about his wife, leaving Sue with the impression that he preferred sex with her)
Cheers, Harry
Steve, The reason I asked about Sue is that, as I expected, she don't fret about this at all. She knows she is 'in control'.
Frank is doing fine. He is able to provide Sue with great sex, every time she comes to him. Whether it’s once a week on Thursday, every other day as in the week before the trip or 10X while they were gone.
Frank is willing and able to ‘go with the flow.’ He is keeping a very casual attitude about their affair. It is Sue that desires and wants him. I doubt that Frank looses any sleep over this whole situation. I doubt that he does much calling, texting or E-mailing of Sue. Although it was Frank that invited Sue to the wedding, It was her that wanted to go to Charlotte with him.
Sue is a little ‘perplexed’ that he don’t pursue her, *(she apparently expects that from her men) but he is very capable as a lover, gives her what she need's and is valuable for her, to ‘push your buttons’ and, as we now know, essential in her, ‘denying you.’
You should study Frank. I think you would do much better with Sue, and sleep much better, by assuming his attitude in all this.
It was mentioned by another poster, about you using condoms. My opinion is that if it came to a decision of "condoms or no sex," definitely choose, 'no sex'. You've got to 'draw the line' somewhere. She will 'give in' on that one.
*(you might recall that Brad ‘flirted’ with her for several weeks before they got together. Also he talked very little about his wife, leaving Sue with the impression that he preferred sex with her)
Cheers, Harry
Will, I love your attitude - and I would even say that when the time comes, that I hope you're right. So far, Sue's partners have fell into place by happenstance - it's surprised me but perhaps it's true what you say.
I think the word anticlimactic really sums it up. But I think it's also good that it's something she's coming to terms with on her own and that we're not rushing into things.
I think the word anticlimactic really sums it up. But I think it's also good that it's something she's coming to terms with on her own and that we're not rushing into things.
STB
great update but you and sue still have some of that pink-elephant there to deal with by you post at 1am you had not talked it all out. and you did not say if sue told you what she now want's out of this.
you did saythat she think's frank has got it in him to do what she want's but what is it she realy want's from this.
and does sue want to go away with frank again to see if she can bring it out of him to be more controling of and with her.
also haow is her dad.
keep us posted.
great update but you and sue still have some of that pink-elephant there to deal with by you post at 1am you had not talked it all out. and you did not say if sue told you what she now want's out of this.
you did saythat she think's frank has got it in him to do what she want's but what is it she realy want's from this.
and does sue want to go away with frank again to see if she can bring it out of him to be more controling of and with her.
also haow is her dad.
keep us posted.
Dana - missed your post earlier.
There's been no talk of when the next time may be that they might go away again together. She hasn't seen Frank yet since last weekend although I know they've swapped Emails - in addition to returning to panties next week, she said she'll also be seeing Frank again on Thursday.
I'm not sure there's much more to discuss - at least not right now. The days since she's been back have tempered her excitement a bit with being back to reality.
Will - you could be right - thinking back, something attracted Don to her.
There's been no talk of when the next time may be that they might go away again together. She hasn't seen Frank yet since last weekend although I know they've swapped Emails - in addition to returning to panties next week, she said she'll also be seeing Frank again on Thursday.
I'm not sure there's much more to discuss - at least not right now. The days since she's been back have tempered her excitement a bit with being back to reality.
Will - you could be right - thinking back, something attracted Don to her.
- Status
