Her first "real date"

[Puller]

Decision Time

This Don sounds like a macho bullshitter, and not a very nice or thoughtful personality.

You are at the dividing path and have to decide how you play things from now on.

One path is to be a wimpy cuck and enjoy the extra humiliation that this character is trying to impose on you.

The other path is to consider your wife as a "Hotwife", and your sole "toy" and nobody elses. If he wants to play with your "toy", he does so on your terms and not on his own.

There is a third option and that is to play wimpy cuck and for you and your wife to laugh at him when you are alone and not role-playing.

I would not tolerate his attempted takeover of your wife, if she were mine. There is no reason to disrespect anyone and he is disrespecting you, and indirectly your wife.

(All words in quotes are used to save writing reams and not meant as bluntly as they come over)

 

[marys_pet]

He WILL take Sue away for a weekend, and soon. It will also come suddenly, like after she goes over to his place one friday night...no warning, just a slight change in plans.

Just enough to keep everybody but him off balance and playing catch up.

From what STB has written, I don't see Sue going along with that. For one thing, it would be really difficult to explain to the kids.

 

[loveslife2005@yahoo.com]

I agree with Mary's pet and STB,

You folks see far more drama than I do. From my experience, ladies I've shared and I, we tolerated and adjusted to odd folks in the lifestyle. When it got too weird, we gracefully bowed out and found other, more sensible people to play with.

Troubled marriages crumble under the additional pressure of the lifestyle, but strong marrriages treat it more as a jointly shared hobby and ease away from wierdos if they get too possessive.

Again, I don't see the screaming warnings in this. Sue's just presented with impromptu demands from Don and has to adjust on the fly. After she and STB talk things over afterward they can figure out what they can live with, what needs to change (if anything), and what's a deal-breaker with Don.

Just my opinion, but I'd advise everyone to lighten up. Don't flame me. It's just my opinion.

 

[SoonToBe]

Thanks Lovelife - sometimes I too get tired of the gloom and doomsayers here. I know very well that we are playing with fire at times.

And I do take some of what the others have posted to heart. Yes, Don is pretty much a macho kind of jerk - but just as with the boyfriends and girlfriends out kids choose, as long as it is just something short-term or with no real chance of anything happening, then we're better off letting it just go on its own course (with a little guidance).

After the past few days, what I can say is that I see Sue slowly accepting and embracing the fact that she can do what she wants and have what she wants in terms of Don for now and whatever/whoever in the future. What I do like is that she seems to be willing to do things now and not seem to have to check with me ahead of time. Some of the past posters call this "changing the rules" but I see it more the way LL sees it - that Sue is well aware that she can say no or do what she wants but that she wanted it. She said she hoped and then was happy to see that I had been okay with her decision.

I too could read a lot into the whole "whose bed" thing. I think the time at our house was Don's first testing the water of what he do with her and what she would be willing to go along with. I liked Harry's thoughts on the whole deal with "his bed". We do know he is not married though so that thought should be gone from consideration.

One other thing was that Sue apologized several times for making me/us rush out of Don's place and, as she put it, "making me wait" for her. She asked me how I felt about it and I told her that as a whole, I did really want to be able to have her and be with her after she was done with Don - but the I did tell her that I was so intensely aroused that whole ride home knowing how she was sitting next to me in the car. She giggled and said she knew it and that she knew when we did get home that it was going to be very quick and very intense between us. So, I suspect she is now also becoming more comfortable about how to relate to me.

I feel very confident that we're going to be okay. I know she's going to want to do and experience things with Don and use them to learn about us - that's what I see happening here.

 

[SoonToBe]

Wow Grinch - right away you're jumping in the deep end of the pool with idea that she's suddenly "not going to come home one night". Whew - you must really have had some bad experiences to go in this direction so quickly.

My reference that was simply regarding Friday night and how she didn't tell me before hand that we were going to leave after she was done with Don and that he didn't really want me in his bed. That was all I was specifically referring to, but in general, I do see her making her own decisions and not necessarily asking me ahead of time. Even when we're in bed together, she used to look more at me for prompts about how much teasing and stuff I'd want - but now I see her doing it more on he own. Still to be something I am okay with but no longer as uncertain herself.

I know a lot of people here think it's crazy - me wanting to let her go like this. And I do know there's danger as I already said. But at this point in our lives the reality is that, before we're too much older, I want to experience these things that have driven my fantasies for so many years. And I also want her to go into the next 20 years of our lives with the knowledge that she is experiencing what she wants.

I am reminded of something someone said a long time ago that rang true with me. Regret is something you need to think about as time goes by. It seems to me/us that it is better to try something and experience it and then possibly regret trying it. That is far better than getting older and regretting not trying something that you wanted when you could.

My son and I see this when we're skiing. If there's a trail we want to try out - we do it when we first feel that desire. If we put it off, there's a good chance that we'll never get back to try that trail. At the end of the day we enjoy discussing/reliving the trails we tried - what we did and didn't like, etc. It's very similar to how I feel sexually with Sue. As we are getting older, I think we are both more aware of the limited time/opportunities we may have. For things to click as they do with Don and her - even if they're not ideal - the fact that she genuinely seems to love fucking him is what matters. And, I can also say now, after well over a year of this pattern - that she wants and seems to actually almost NEED to be fucked by another guy, I want to say, once a week. It is now almost a disappointment if it doesn't happen and, you know what, I'm okay with that.

Grinch - she's not going to just run off with Don. I know that and it's what gives me the "strength" to tell her to do what she wants!

 

[loveslife2005@yahoo.com]

Don ...didn't really want me in his bed.

I think that's just Don's insecurities, no more, no less. I don't think it threatens your relationship in the least.

...I do see her making her own decisions and not necessarily asking me ahead of time. Even when we're in bed together, she used to look more at me for prompts about how much teasing and stuff I'd want - but now I see her doing it more on he own. Still to be something I am okay with but no longer as uncertain herself.

I know a lot of people here think it's crazy - me wanting to let her go like this.

Like you, when women I've cared about start to do sexual things because they want to, and not to please me or anyone else, I love it. Since the women I choose are sweet, considerate, loving partners, I love to see them become confidant enough to do things first and ask later if it was ok. It always is, because they're not the humiliating doms some men crave.

I loved the idea of C. playing alone, so I gave her the freedom to fuck anyone, anywhere, anytime. She loved the freedom, but didn’t use it. Perhaps she never found the right guy, time, and place.

She got to where she said she’d fuck anyone I asked her to, any time, anywhere, single or group, male or female. She loved being “told” to do it. It got her very excited. One story I told her during sex was where I called her up and said she couldn’t come home that night until she had another man’s cum in her pussy. She adored that story, and the concept of “having” to be naughty.

...after well over a year of this pattern - that she wants and seems to actually almost NEED to be fucked by another guy, I want to say, once a week. It is now almost a disappointment if it doesn't happen and, you know what, I'm okay with that.

If I was you, that would be the most thrilling part, that she NEEDS and hungers to be fucked by other men once a week. mmmmmm.

Once, I asked C. if she’d like to go to a lifestyle party once a month, if babysitting wasn’t a problem. She said she’d rather go to a lifestyle party once a week, and then further delighted me by saying she’d also like to fuck some other guy three days a week, preferably three different guys! I hoped that one evening she’d say how she met someone that day. She’d take my hand beneath her dress and I’d feel another man’s cum. It never happened, but we fantasized about it a lot. She wanted to, and I encouraged her.

It thrilled me that C. wanted to fuck other men. After we parted for other reasons C. told me that sharing would be a non-negotiable part of any future relationship. She and I still agree that our sharing only made us closer as a couple.

 

[SoonToBe]

There's another post here that spurred a fond memory and got me thinking.

The other post is "Guys that like to fuck other mens wives".

It made me remember one summer long long ago, before Sue. I was maybe 20 years old and working in a computer support area. Perhaps anyone in the IT industry back in the early 1980's would remember the "Hogan Banking System" and it's vendor was located in Dallas TX.

Sorry for the trivia. They offered an 8-week training program for various support aspects of their product. I was sent for one program and a woman I was acquainted with was also chosen to go at the same time to a different program run for the same timeframe. She was maybe 30 at the time, married with no kids.

We'd fly down on Sunday and return early Friday. 2 weeks in a row in Dallas, then 1 home. 4 cycles for 8 weeks of class.

The first 2 weeks were nothing - we barely saw each other. We'd have breakfast in the hotel together (separate rooms, don't be thinking that), maybe have lunch together, have dinner together and then go our separate ways.

During the 3rd week something changed. She was much more talkative and less distant. She also wanted to hang out with me at night. I showed her the bars/clubs I'd found during the first 2 weeks as the hotel was in a "dry county" outside Dallas where you had to pay $5 a day to join a club to drink. So you walked maybe 2-3 blocks away into the next county and you had your choices of music and sports bars, etc.

The 2nd night we were there we were at a bar and were dancing when something slower came on and she didn't leave the dance floor. Instead we danced close. Needless to say, we fucked the 3rd night we were there. And we did so for every night after that we were away. She was on the pill as were most women (it was before AIDS).

It was odd because I had no idea what a cuckold was yet I knew it was such a strange feeling to shake her husband's hand when he'd be there in the airport either dropping her off or picking her up.

Like Vegas - what happened there, stayed there - we never did anything at all when we were home and other than the last 5 1/2 weeks of that class, we actually never really interacted.

But for those few weeks, looking back on it - I was the bull and he was the cuckold.

It was only earlier this afternoon when I read that other thread here that I was reminded of this experience. I do sometimes wonder if this may have been a part of my eventual desire to have Sue cuckold me. Perhaps to experience what my "older woman" and her husband were. I now wonder if he knew I was fucking her. Either way, it was a very positive experience and I know now, thinking back on it, that she felt very free and very happy those last 5 1/2 weeks. I was so young, naive and innocent that I never really thought about anything other than fucking her. I remember it was a very powerful feeling to be on top of her - knowing she was another guys wife. Thinking back, I remember liking knowing she was walking around for those weeks with my cum in her a lot of the time.

Anyway - not much to share with you from here. Sue's downstairs with the kids right now and I suspect tonight will continue as the past few have gone with us talking more about Don and what's going on. She knows I am still not 100% about all of this. I do know she's already planning on seeing him this Friday as she clearly reminded me she'll probably have her period next week. But at least we'll be all set for the Labor Day weekend. I asked her what she thought would happen with Don that week and she said they hadn't set any plans yet but she did say that he would like to see her that weekend if she can find a way to get away.

 

[SoonToBe]

Grinch - I'm a bit confused by your last reply.

It sounds like your wife decided to simply call you and surprise you with news that she wouldn't be home for 5 days.

I have to ask about your family and social life such that she could simply abandon them for a week. For us, there's just no way for this to happen between kids, neighbors and family members - the questions would be too numerous to even think about.

I can see that you were burned in the past but I really have to question the circumstances in order to either accept or refute your opinions of what we are doing.

 

[AngleBaby]

Maybe it would be a good idea to change the subject?
Grinch posted a thread about his relationship in the forums. It fills in a lot of blanks.

 

[Harry2614]

3 some Fridays

STB, Just some advise from someone who’s been there. When you are there with Sue and Don, Don’t stand back, that’s what he expects, Be a part of it. Assist Sue’s pleasure. Massage and rub her arms, legs & Breasts. Even kiss her while He’s fucking her. Make it obvious to him and Sue that you are there for her pleasure. Undress and make it obvious to him and Sue that you are ready to take over when he is done. Don’t allow the impression that you are intimidated by him. I don’t recall in your posts, that you have told Sue that you want to be a ‘Cuck’. You are ‘sharing her with him, Not ‘giving’ her to him. Don should know that and Sue should know that too. Don has been with other couples; he may know how to intimidate the ‘Hubby’. In my experience with wife sharing, the husband and I would take turns fucking and pleasuring his wife. You now have had the experience of standing by as a Cuck would do and you are not really comfortable with it, even though it ‘turns you on wickedly’. He can have her to himself on their nights alone, but when you are there, you should be a participant not a watcher. You will see and feel Sue’s acceptance when you do. I think the reason he leaves after he is done is he thinks HE might be intimidated watching you fuck your wife.
Harry

 

[SoonToBe]

Only a minute right now as our daughter is off to bed soon and then Sue and I will have some time together before our son gets home around midnight.

We've been talking quite a bit and, especially in light of Harry's update, I have a bit to share.

 

[marys_pet]

Can't wait to read your next update, STB.

 

[Harry2614]

Me Too!!
Harry

 

[SoonToBe]

Hey all - it's much later than I thought it would be when we were done. She's fast asleep and I'm not far behind her (actually right behind her for a while earlier).

We talked a lot about what she likes about what's going on right now and she asked me lots of stuff too.

I'll have plenty of time tomorrow evening to put pen to paper...

 

[SoonToBe]

What was with this site yesterday and last night?
I could not get anything to work here despite trying at different points in time up to about midnight.

I re-read the last few posts and thought I'd reply to Harry's comments first. To be very honest, I don't know that I want to be there with them every time. I don't know but I didn't feel as comfortable with them as I did at the end when she was with Brad.

I think seeing them at the bar together - as a couple - sort of made me just want to be there and "watch" them and not so much "participate". It was almost like she was someone else when she's with him. At least that's how I sort of feel - or is that my way of dealing with how I feel about them - that she is "someone else" when she's with him? I don't feel intimidated by Don though, at least I don't think so.

As I said, we've talked about things more. I told her again that I felt cheated when she didn't let me have any time with her after Don was done. She apologized many times and said that she has been talking to him about how that would work and she promised me that when she comes home Friday night, that she'll be able to tell me when we can work something like that out.

She was VERY happy that I told her I was okay with her going out without me some of the times. I told her that from watching them that I could see why she was having so much fun and that I was okay about it and that if I wasn't there, that I wanted her to tell me all about it when she did get home. She giggled and told me with this sultry voice "of course".

Basically, she loves the whole thing that's happening with Don. She told me point blank "I don't love him" - it is NOT that. And she assured me that he feels the same way - they are just having fun with each other. Of course she made it a point to tell me many times that "he fucks really good" and that "he cums so much". But again, as I said - this isn't something she's necessarily doing to hurt me or even deny me - so it's not like she's saying this as a comparison that's putting me down, or at least I didn't take it that way.

She did tell me that Don has asked her certain things and she's said okay to several of them. One is that he likes her pussy bare, at least at the bottom part. I had to laugh because now, for him, she'll keep it up from week to week. She'd always shave if I asked her to - just the bottom or she'd shave it all off if I asked - but she'd never keep up with it from week to week except for in the middle of the summer with her liking it for her bathing suits. But now she says she's going to keep it bare for him.

He also asked her if she'd ever get her nipples pierced as he likes that on a woman. Sue told him she'd never do that - she told him she is not into anything permanent - no piercings or permanent tattoos. She said he asked if that was something I'd wanted or if it was her own desires and she said it's all her own (personally, a piercing here or there in an erotic spot could be hot).

She did ask me the "big question" of whether she could ever spend the night with him. (This is all over the past 3 or 4 days now, this wasn't one big conversation we had.) I told her that I'd have to think about it and let her know. She asked me again last night and I told her I wanted to know if this was her asking or him asking.

She said that he'd asked her how she felt about it. I waited for her to tell me how she answered him and she said that talking to me like we were, she likes the idea but doesn't want to rush into it - but that when he asked her it was while they were really into each other (not sure whether that was in the bar when they were just talking and stuff or whether it was in bed) that she wanted to do it. So Grinch, I can see where this could be an issue as in a spur of the moment decision.

It's crazy but hearing her say that turned me on incredibly. She noticed it too. I took a minute and told her that I didn't think it was such a good idea but that maybe if I felt different or better about Don, that maybe in the future it could work out. But I immediately reminded her that we need to consider how it would work and what we'd tell the kids.

We talked about Dons' status with other women - and she pretty much said that he feels he's overworked and that's why he hasn't really dated in a while. This is what she said - that he just didn't have time to chase after women and that he felt bad that he's not around so much of the time. She giggled and said that's why he's so psyched to have me as a sort of "girl friend" - and she seemed to emphasize that I don't want more than this either!

She teased me a bit last night before she left me alone with the computer. She said "remember those videos you watched with me last time?" I am still kind of embarassed but I nodded my head yes. She whispered in my ear "you can now really imagine they're me now that he doesn't use a condom any more". Needless to say, it didn't take me long last night with that as a start.

Not much more to share with all of you right now.

 

[Harry2614]

STB:
I am glad you listened to me and checked out some of the things I recommended. I feel much more comfortable with the situation now with you three. I think you and Sue are 'in control' of it and are keeping the important thinngs in mind, like you and Sue's real relationship including family. This is a fun and experimental exercise in freedom for Sue, and she is keeping your comfort in mind as she does it. Like I said earlier, this is all for her pleasure. Did you talk about you being more 'present' when the 3 of you are together in the same room? With you having more 'loving contact' with Sue while he is pleasuring her to enhance the erotic atmosphere for both of you?
Cheers, Harry

 

[Harry2614]

"It is always taking a chance when you share your wife's pussy with another man. If it turns out badly, you will blame yourself from now on. But, if it turns out right, you can take the credit then". .........
"I would further suggest that any meetings with him include you. He needs to be aware that you will be there watching as he fucks your wife. For many wife-fuckers, this is a very important element, that they are actually fucking a married woman, and that the husband is giving his permission and offering his cooperation.
That might inhibit him from considering cutting you out of the scene. He needs to understand that if he wants to fuck your wife, he has to consider you in all things".

This post from S O J from another thread that you are also reading brings out what I have been encouraging for you and Sue. Don can hav his fun Fucking another mans wife, but he needs to know that he is only getting to do it with your permission as well as hers. He needs to especially respect you for the privilage.
Cheers, Harry

 

[marys_pet]

This post from S O J from another thread that you are also reading brings out what I have been encouraging for you and Sue. Don can hav his fun Fucking another mans wife, but he needs to know that he is only getting to do it with your permission as well as hers. He needs to especially respect you for the privilage.
Cheers, Harry

From what STB writes, I'm not getting the sense that Don does respect him at all, or appreciate STB's generosity in sharing Sue with him. I'm especially concerned about his asking whether the "no piercing" thing was Sue's rule or STB's rule. If Sue had said something like STB didn't want her to get pierced and she agreed with that, he would no doubt have kept pushing.

Not a "doom and gloom" prediction as, so far at least, Sue seems to be handling it well. But coupled with the bed thing, it just seems that Don is actively looking for ways to cut STB out and make Sue "his pussy" rather than STB's pussy or even shared pussy. This guy just seems like a real prick.

STB, are you sure that you're oft-stated belief that this thing with Don will burn out quickly doesn't represent a certain amount of wishful thinking on your part?

 

[calcuckcpl]

"It is always taking a chance when you share your wife's pussy with another man. If it turns out badly, you will blame yourself from now on. But, if it turns out right, you can take the credit then". .........
"I would further suggest that any meetings with him include you. He needs to be aware that you will be there watching as he fucks your wife. For many wife-fuckers, this is a very important element, that they are actually fucking a married woman, and that the husband is giving his permission and offering his cooperation.
That might inhibit him from considering cutting you out of the scene. He needs to understand that if he wants to fuck your wife, he has to consider you in all things".

This post from S O J from another thread that you are also reading brings out what I have been encouraging for you and Sue. Don can hav his fun Fucking another mans wife, but he needs to know that he is only getting to do it with your permission as well as hers. He needs to especially respect you for the privilage.
Cheers, Harry

That is complete nonsense. Don and Sue call the shots. The hubbie will soon find out. In a month you will be in panties and kneeling in front of your Bull and giving him proper respect with Sue's approval. It's only natural as she is getting a proper fucking. Three months from now you will be in a cock cage and learning all about dildo training. I'll let you use your imagination of what will transpire next. Enjoy it.

 

[SoonToBe]

Grinch and Marys-Pet. As I said, you're not telling me anything I don't already know about Don and his behavior. But until I see something in Sue that makes me nervous or concerned - then I'm going to let her enjoy her time with Don whatever happens.

I do understand what you are saying about how he asks her things or what she will and won't do - but as I said, I also trust her to make the right decision. I think I'll do that, honestly, until I get burned. I know it may be too late at that point but to argue before then - I know I'll just get the answers from Sue that I am getting now - that I have nothing to worry about and that she and he aren't that serious about anything beyond what they have now.

Calcuck - I guess everyone's allowed their own opinions. But I can already tell you that you will never see a pair of panties or a cage on me. I'm not sure what you mean by dildo training either. I can tell you that I do have some firm limits that will not be crossed - panties and a cage are 2 of them - if you're inferring the dildo would be for me, then you've found a 3rd line that won't be crossed either.

In the meanwhile - I have already told her to go and have a blast tomorrow night and to share all the details with me afterwards - including her hurrying home for me!

More later tonight probably...