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Denial 2015
- Thread starterSoonToBe
- Start date
- Status
So, we had a long talk that started yesterday afternoon and went into the night. It started when she asked me if I still wanted all of this to happen or whether I was having second thoughts, she obviously picked up on how I'd been feeling and came right out with it. I was honest and I told her that I did and again told her how I liked watching her and yet at the same time, it felt so difficult and awkward at times that I feel like voyeur at times with how close I am sometimes. I also didn't hide that I felt a bit left out and that I should be okay with it but that it still bothered me.
She was very observant and I swear someone is coaching her because she asked me if it's harder when I am there and then she said it - "seeing Paul have what you don't get to have?" She said it in a concerned way which took me a little off guard but she asked me if that was something that bothered me, that maybe seeing it was still a little hard and she said "especially now, you know, without you really 'feeling me' for a long time now". I started to answer her but she kept on talking and asked me how it was when the door was closed (or supposed to be closed) "or, when I'm at his place"?
I was honest with her and I told her that maybe it was seeing it up close and in person, that maybe I'd gotten used to it with her and Robert and that maybe she was right. I'm not sure what I was thinking that meant but I sure wasn't ready for her answer that I should probably try to get used to it and that she mentioned us planning a ski-trip for the weekend of the 27th-1st. Before I could really ask her she smiled and said "a 2 bedroom" and when she saw that I understood what that meant before I could start to speak she said "he'll be meeting us there that Friday night" and she giggled when this time she knew my last question immediately and said "yes, both nights".
She said the same thing as she said the other day about her fantasy becoming mine and when I asked she giggled and she reminded me of what her first fantasy was that she shared with me about another guy and that was that she wanted it to be me fucking her and her sucking another guy. I stopped for a moment and I realized she was right. She smiled and we talked for a moment and she said that she had her fantasy fulfilled many times with me and reminded me that even with Paul, we'd done threesomes at first. But then she turned me to her and said that she admits that over time, seeing how excited I was, that she always was turned on by that herself.
Then she said what I think I knew was coming for a long time now. She told me that when I came out to her about my beta desires, and she saw (and still sees) that it's what I want, that it's what makes her want it too. She kissed me and told me that she wondered if I finally told her what I wanted because I liked Paul? I told her I wasn't sure about the timing of things as neither of us could (sorry Harry) place what came first, chicken or egg, Paul or beta-admission? I never thought about it but maybe I did feel comfortable with him to let things happen?
Either way, she finally came out and said it. That she feels a real desire to let things play out with Paul and to do all the things that she either couldn't or wouldn't do. She kissed me and said that "includes fulfilling your desires.... coincidentally". Obviously I asked what she meant and she said that I told her that I wanted her to fulfill her sexual desires with him and she asked me if I remembered that. I was so hard as she was talking to me, I know she noticed but she was too busy literally taking control for a little while. She held me and she told me that it's not easy for her to let herself feel this way as it really goes against how she feels, but she admits to being really curious now about what we're doing.
Now, it wasn't all one sided, I mean she did ask me if I really wanted this and it was my honest answer to say yes. But with that admission now came a bit more vocalness and openness which included her telling me that I needed to get used to the things that were going to change over time. She kissed me and with a true feeling of concern in her voice she told me that "it's just something we're going to try" and then cooed in my ear that I am going to need to get more used to things over time.
It was finally about 9pm last night when we'd already gotten sort of ready for bed that she lay down next to me as we started to watch the SNL 40th on Tivo when she came over to me and said that I should remember that she's not ready to give up everything with me and she asked me how I'd enjoyed the surprise blow-job and I gushed about how intense it was. She giggled and reached over and hit pause on the show and then, as she looked down at me she smiled and said "want to have a little fun?" It took me a second until my eyes lit up. She giggled and said that she was "feeling better 'down there'" and that she thought I "might want to enjoy the weekend" and she opened my nightstand. She saw, and felt, that I was hard and she asked me if I'd 'taken care' of myself the night before. She didn't see that I was looking at her when I said yes and I know that I saw the smile on her face and it wasn't ******, it was something she just did and it made me feel good to know that she was being honest when she said she'd like it if I'd done so. Even with that, I was still hard.
More later - might even be heading into work to day despite the snow.
She was very observant and I swear someone is coaching her because she asked me if it's harder when I am there and then she said it - "seeing Paul have what you don't get to have?" She said it in a concerned way which took me a little off guard but she asked me if that was something that bothered me, that maybe seeing it was still a little hard and she said "especially now, you know, without you really 'feeling me' for a long time now". I started to answer her but she kept on talking and asked me how it was when the door was closed (or supposed to be closed) "or, when I'm at his place"?
I was honest with her and I told her that maybe it was seeing it up close and in person, that maybe I'd gotten used to it with her and Robert and that maybe she was right. I'm not sure what I was thinking that meant but I sure wasn't ready for her answer that I should probably try to get used to it and that she mentioned us planning a ski-trip for the weekend of the 27th-1st. Before I could really ask her she smiled and said "a 2 bedroom" and when she saw that I understood what that meant before I could start to speak she said "he'll be meeting us there that Friday night" and she giggled when this time she knew my last question immediately and said "yes, both nights".
She said the same thing as she said the other day about her fantasy becoming mine and when I asked she giggled and she reminded me of what her first fantasy was that she shared with me about another guy and that was that she wanted it to be me fucking her and her sucking another guy. I stopped for a moment and I realized she was right. She smiled and we talked for a moment and she said that she had her fantasy fulfilled many times with me and reminded me that even with Paul, we'd done threesomes at first. But then she turned me to her and said that she admits that over time, seeing how excited I was, that she always was turned on by that herself.
Then she said what I think I knew was coming for a long time now. She told me that when I came out to her about my beta desires, and she saw (and still sees) that it's what I want, that it's what makes her want it too. She kissed me and told me that she wondered if I finally told her what I wanted because I liked Paul? I told her I wasn't sure about the timing of things as neither of us could (sorry Harry) place what came first, chicken or egg, Paul or beta-admission? I never thought about it but maybe I did feel comfortable with him to let things happen?
Either way, she finally came out and said it. That she feels a real desire to let things play out with Paul and to do all the things that she either couldn't or wouldn't do. She kissed me and said that "includes fulfilling your desires.... coincidentally". Obviously I asked what she meant and she said that I told her that I wanted her to fulfill her sexual desires with him and she asked me if I remembered that. I was so hard as she was talking to me, I know she noticed but she was too busy literally taking control for a little while. She held me and she told me that it's not easy for her to let herself feel this way as it really goes against how she feels, but she admits to being really curious now about what we're doing.
Now, it wasn't all one sided, I mean she did ask me if I really wanted this and it was my honest answer to say yes. But with that admission now came a bit more vocalness and openness which included her telling me that I needed to get used to the things that were going to change over time. She kissed me and with a true feeling of concern in her voice she told me that "it's just something we're going to try" and then cooed in my ear that I am going to need to get more used to things over time.
It was finally about 9pm last night when we'd already gotten sort of ready for bed that she lay down next to me as we started to watch the SNL 40th on Tivo when she came over to me and said that I should remember that she's not ready to give up everything with me and she asked me how I'd enjoyed the surprise blow-job and I gushed about how intense it was. She giggled and reached over and hit pause on the show and then, as she looked down at me she smiled and said "want to have a little fun?" It took me a second until my eyes lit up. She giggled and said that she was "feeling better 'down there'" and that she thought I "might want to enjoy the weekend" and she opened my nightstand. She saw, and felt, that I was hard and she asked me if I'd 'taken care' of myself the night before. She didn't see that I was looking at her when I said yes and I know that I saw the smile on her face and it wasn't ******, it was something she just did and it made me feel good to know that she was being honest when she said she'd like it if I'd done so. Even with that, I was still hard.
More later - might even be heading into work to day despite the snow.
Wow she really has taken control, good for both of you. Its nice to see that your acceptance of being a cuck has finally allowed her the freedom to make this a reality for you both. So now do you see a sooner than later weaning of you as her sexual partner and becoming more of her emotional rock and supporter? It appears to me that the sooner you completely withdraw from penetration the better this will get for you. Not having to think about that and struggle with the desire will be helpful for you and her. I say once the condoms run out you should be her soulmate and let her stay monogamous as she would like. I know that she will do things like the blowjob finish for you from time to time to show her gratitude and love, so what do you think STB?
Steve - has always your published updates are always insightful. While it may not have been comfortable for you it was very respectful of you to allow Sue to have her own private time with Paul. It was good to read that You & Sue have continued to have very open honest conversations about your current relationship, fantasies, desires and were it could go with the continued involvement with Paul following this most recent weekend. You do seem to be comfortable with Paul in general and has Sue mentioned, this is something that you asked for.
Sue has also indicated that you will need to get used to the things that were going to change over time as they do seem to be coming sooner than later.
I must say that I actually do agree with Far2 at this point in his post (#163) as I think he has made a few good points here.
As always thank you for your detailed post.
SoonToBe said:
Sue has also indicated that you will need to get used to the things that were going to change over time as they do seem to be coming sooner than later.
SoonToBe said:
I must say that I actually do agree with Far2 at this point in his post (#163) as I think he has made a few good points here.
far2easy said:
As always thank you for your detailed post.
Are you ready Steve for the total cutoff ?
Can you really see them making love together and not feel that desire inside you ?
Would killing that desire give you more pleasure or making love to Sue would be more pleasurable ?
What happens when and if Sue tells you that she doesn't want you sexually any more because he is much better than you ?
One day....what would be your reaction if she says she wants to stay over at Paul for a week / a month / maybe forever?
Just a few questions....!
Can you really see them making love together and not feel that desire inside you ?
Would killing that desire give you more pleasure or making love to Sue would be more pleasurable ?
What happens when and if Sue tells you that she doesn't want you sexually any more because he is much better than you ?
One day....what would be your reaction if she says she wants to stay over at Paul for a week / a month / maybe forever?
Just a few questions....!
Raks i dont think she is interested in hurting Stb, which is why she keeps checking in. I dont think it would be his fantasy or hers to stay away that much or destroy their relationship over sex. If she didnt care she wouldnt reference his fantasy becoming her and now theirs. Communication is the key! They do that well!
Steve, I don't understand the contradiction between your post immediately after seeing Paul and Sue at breakfast and your last post. In one you were seeing limits and a line overstepped and yet, given the chance to say so, you again say nothing. For the life of me I cannot see how Sue can understand where your limits are if, when given the opportunity to state them, you never take it. Communication is good only if it honestly stated. I'm not sure it is. I know you are in two minds sometimes. That you both crave and fear what happens sometimes. But. Sue doesn't seem to get the fear side. It can't be just that yet again you are hard and thinking with your small head during the discussion. Can it?
If I read all of Steve’s posts correctly I think we need to congratulate him on going his first full week of being denied intercourse. Let’s look at the previous weekend, this past week and this weekend.
Previous weekend he got intercourse on Saturday night, then none on Sunday. Monday none again, Tuesday Sue spent the night over Paul’s, and Steve jerked off twice, Wednesday he jerked off again with Sue, Thursday and Friday nothing again, Saturday on Valentines day he jerked off and got a BJ but no pussy, Sunday she was with Paul again and Steve jerked it that night and Monday she was still with Paul until late.
So for 7 days Steve jerked off 5-6 times, had 1 BJ when he was close to cuming from jerking off, 0 intercourse. Sue enjoyed Paul 2 nights and 2 days.
Congrats Steve you went your first week relieving yourself and letting Sue enjoy just Paul. You 2 still had your own time and connection together and the best part is it was all ok, the world didn’t end, no bad feelings happened, your both still in love and it didn’t kill you !!
Previous weekend he got intercourse on Saturday night, then none on Sunday. Monday none again, Tuesday Sue spent the night over Paul’s, and Steve jerked off twice, Wednesday he jerked off again with Sue, Thursday and Friday nothing again, Saturday on Valentines day he jerked off and got a BJ but no pussy, Sunday she was with Paul again and Steve jerked it that night and Monday she was still with Paul until late.
So for 7 days Steve jerked off 5-6 times, had 1 BJ when he was close to cuming from jerking off, 0 intercourse. Sue enjoyed Paul 2 nights and 2 days.
Congrats Steve you went your first week relieving yourself and letting Sue enjoy just Paul. You 2 still had your own time and connection together and the best part is it was all ok, the world didn’t end, no bad feelings happened, your both still in love and it didn’t kill you !!
Also congrats to Sue for moving forward on your future denial. First long time ago she got you comfortable to jerk off in front of her and that turned into your Wednesday night fun. She then got you to do it on other night besides just Wednesdays. Then she finally got you comfortable enough to jerk off while she is at her lovers for the night. This weekend you were finally comfortable enough to jerk off in the next room while she was with Paul, all that is left (and it’s a big step for you all) is to be comfortable enough to relieve yourself in front of not just Sue but Paul also.
Which if I recall correctly, not to long ago Sue did suggest it to you, that it be fine for you to do it while with them.
Which if I recall correctly, not to long ago Sue did suggest it to you, that it be fine for you to do it while with them.
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You are right, a very smooth progression. I bet that it will happen on the next ski trip, makes good sense, everyone has accepted their roles and that would give them the completeness. I think he has jerked off in front of them just never to completion. Sue definitely wants that. She will likely be lost in the moment when Stb does cum but will look over and realize that he loved it!
It’s basically how we started our denial play. We were still new in the lifestyle but we had a few couples as friends that where in it for a lot longer that gave us advice and ideas.
I know when we first started talking about denial it was so K my wife could be big cock only, not just exclusive to her current lover. The other couples we knew where all ready permanently cut off which is what lead us to do a lot of talking about it. After lots of talking and saying our concerns about doing it we decided that maybe a trial run would be fun to do.
Well I’d say about 6-7 weeks went by and I brought up the subject again and asked if she was still interested in doing the trial, and that’s when she pointed out that it all ready had begun and that for all most a month now I’ve been jerking off and not having any penetrative sex with her.
As much of a shocker it was to me to realize she was right, what doing it did for us was to give us confidence in it. Our concerns where mute over doing it, nothing changed, we still loved each other, nothing bad happened, and we still had our time together and still had intimacy with each other and all without penetrative sex. She later admitted that she received a lot of guidance from the other wives in doing it in such a way.
Then forward some and about few months later it was Valentines Day and that’s when I decided to give her a great gift, I let her make the choice on making it permanent. 17 or so years later all my little dick has fucked is a hand. Both of us still feel to this day it was a great choice for us.
I know when we first started talking about denial it was so K my wife could be big cock only, not just exclusive to her current lover. The other couples we knew where all ready permanently cut off which is what lead us to do a lot of talking about it. After lots of talking and saying our concerns about doing it we decided that maybe a trial run would be fun to do.
Well I’d say about 6-7 weeks went by and I brought up the subject again and asked if she was still interested in doing the trial, and that’s when she pointed out that it all ready had begun and that for all most a month now I’ve been jerking off and not having any penetrative sex with her.
As much of a shocker it was to me to realize she was right, what doing it did for us was to give us confidence in it. Our concerns where mute over doing it, nothing changed, we still loved each other, nothing bad happened, and we still had our time together and still had intimacy with each other and all without penetrative sex. She later admitted that she received a lot of guidance from the other wives in doing it in such a way.
Then forward some and about few months later it was Valentines Day and that’s when I decided to give her a great gift, I let her make the choice on making it permanent. 17 or so years later all my little dick has fucked is a hand. Both of us still feel to this day it was a great choice for us.
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About chastity play, I’ve seen a few posts telling Steve to get a chastity cage. Thing I have noticed not just for us but also a bunch of couples we know from our Hot Wife / Cuck group is that chastity does become part of it. Not in a dominate way or anything like that.
For us it was not long after denial became permanent for me that I was jerking off all the time and when it came to going to cuck parties or my wife with her lovers I lost sexual interest in it because of jerking off so much. K pointed out to me also, that even thou I was her beta cuck that this was OUR sex life and me not being interested left a void in it for her. She ended up having this conversation also with her current lover at the time and he’s the one that told her about chastising me, that he knew of other couples that did it. They shopped together and bought me one which he had the fun of locking me in for the first time.
Now I get just enough relief to keep me happy but also still feeling horny and involved in OUR sex life. As they say, life is best with moderation LOL
For us it was not long after denial became permanent for me that I was jerking off all the time and when it came to going to cuck parties or my wife with her lovers I lost sexual interest in it because of jerking off so much. K pointed out to me also, that even thou I was her beta cuck that this was OUR sex life and me not being interested left a void in it for her. She ended up having this conversation also with her current lover at the time and he’s the one that told her about chastising me, that he knew of other couples that did it. They shopped together and bought me one which he had the fun of locking me in for the first time.
Now I get just enough relief to keep me happy but also still feeling horny and involved in OUR sex life. As they say, life is best with moderation LOL
SoonToBe - did she come out and say that fulfilling your desires involved "denial of..." with you, and those things would only now be for Paul? I'm curious, have you guys talked about "trial denial periods" before you venture into the longer-term Beta-Mode? Also, does that move into Beta-Mode include sessions where you are working yourself as she tells you about her pleasure from Paul? Do you think you would like her to tease you about how much better he is in those sessions?SoonToBe said:
Guess I'm trying to see if you guys have talked about what your intimate times will be like once you make the transition?
Wingman
Wingman, Re: your question, Post #179.
As I read it, Sue meant fulfilling Steve's desires by fulfilling her own sexual desires. That she would be doing with her boyfriend, what she would not be doing with Steve. which coincidentally, would fulfill the desires of them both. I mean Sue has already said that in that way before. Complicated ain't it?
Did I get that right, Steve? Sorry for answering for you, but I couldn't help myself LOL
Cheers, Harry
As I read it, Sue meant fulfilling Steve's desires by fulfilling her own sexual desires. That she would be doing with her boyfriend, what she would not be doing with Steve. which coincidentally, would fulfill the desires of them both. I mean Sue has already said that in that way before. Complicated ain't it?
Did I get that right, Steve? Sorry for answering for you, but I couldn't help myself LOL
Cheers, Harry
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