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Denial 2015
- Thread starterSoonToBe
- Start date
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Steve, yet again Sue ups the ante at a time when you are least able to think rationally or argue. Yet again you have agreed to bow to her desires without a fight. I know this is what beta is about but at some point she must come up with something you don't want to do, if only not just yet. You need to find a way to debate as well as listen. As for tonight, this isn't the first time for you so you aren't venturing into the unknown. Still, Sue does want you to jerked off so why not try an experiment. Jerk off so many times you can't get it up any more and see how you feel afterwards. The angst may be higher but it may give you a different perspective on your situation. You won't know until you try it. May the force be with you...
Well, this is like the hardest time - sitting here contemplating what to do knowing the obvious. I love what we're doing but this is probably the most difficult time of all. Still, I will admit that in a flash I could be rock hard and squirting away!!!
Peak - I'm not sure what you're saying about what I gave up without a fight about. Her staying overnight? I know that while I may complain, the reality as I am sure you know as well as I is that if I truly didn't want her to stay with him, I would have said so. The reality that I am accepting is that I do want this.
I know it sounds crazy but it's something I've wanted to feel. I certainly don't want to lose her but I do want to feel this denial and I guess Sue knows just how to coax me along now as I am fully realizing that she understands what turns me on. I don't know why it does but her saying it to me as she did - reminding me what I've given up. I continue to say that it's crazy, but at the same time, we are into week 9 of this year and the knowledge that I have yet to cum in her is totally intoxicating to me!! She's said it to me - that it turns her on in the same way just from her side. And I believe her - maybe we've grown this fantasy together. That one day I may look at her and truly not get to have or feel her sexually is something I truly want to feel and experience. The thought that she will deny me at some point, undoubtedly, is something that just turns me on incredibly.
I need a break right now.
Peak - I'm not sure what you're saying about what I gave up without a fight about. Her staying overnight? I know that while I may complain, the reality as I am sure you know as well as I is that if I truly didn't want her to stay with him, I would have said so. The reality that I am accepting is that I do want this.
I know it sounds crazy but it's something I've wanted to feel. I certainly don't want to lose her but I do want to feel this denial and I guess Sue knows just how to coax me along now as I am fully realizing that she understands what turns me on. I don't know why it does but her saying it to me as she did - reminding me what I've given up. I continue to say that it's crazy, but at the same time, we are into week 9 of this year and the knowledge that I have yet to cum in her is totally intoxicating to me!! She's said it to me - that it turns her on in the same way just from her side. And I believe her - maybe we've grown this fantasy together. That one day I may look at her and truly not get to have or feel her sexually is something I truly want to feel and experience. The thought that she will deny me at some point, undoubtedly, is something that just turns me on incredibly.
I need a break right now.
So, I guess I dove into the deep end on my last post but I guess the reality is that I really do want to experience being the beta male for her. I don't know why but it's just something that I think maybe I've wanted for a long time (gee, ya think?) but was scared to let myself accept. But now, it really seems that she wants to try this out too and I guess, of all people, Paul is a pretty okay guy to do it with.
For me, whether it's what she felt or just what she conveyed - I truly felt that while she didn't have the Big-O with me, that we did really reconnect and share a loving moment sexually. And whether she's said it or not, I don't think she'll ever be really able to say no, not at all. Maybe for a few weeks at a time, but I still ultimately believe that some reason will come up when she will come to me and tell me she wants it with me.
Peak - was it the part where she said she controlled who and when she'd have sex and that it would only be when she wanted it with me? I think that's where she may want to go towards, but as I said above, I don't know it can ever be an absolute. Perhaps that the safety valve for me? I will say that it's incredibly erotic to me to think that the most intimate parts of her and the most intimate acts with her will be something she may only have with Paul at some point. Again, the feeling of, as she put it, giving him something that was mine. I think it is already a very different feeling for me to be with her and know that my desires for some sort of sexual contact with her are to be suppressed more.
Anyway - I am going to go over a buddy's house for an hour or so and check out a new big-screen TV he picked up. I just need to get out of the house for a bit and take my mind off of what she is likely doing right now at 9:15pm, likely lying on his bed.....
For me, whether it's what she felt or just what she conveyed - I truly felt that while she didn't have the Big-O with me, that we did really reconnect and share a loving moment sexually. And whether she's said it or not, I don't think she'll ever be really able to say no, not at all. Maybe for a few weeks at a time, but I still ultimately believe that some reason will come up when she will come to me and tell me she wants it with me.
Peak - was it the part where she said she controlled who and when she'd have sex and that it would only be when she wanted it with me? I think that's where she may want to go towards, but as I said above, I don't know it can ever be an absolute. Perhaps that the safety valve for me? I will say that it's incredibly erotic to me to think that the most intimate parts of her and the most intimate acts with her will be something she may only have with Paul at some point. Again, the feeling of, as she put it, giving him something that was mine. I think it is already a very different feeling for me to be with her and know that my desires for some sort of sexual contact with her are to be suppressed more.
Anyway - I am going to go over a buddy's house for an hour or so and check out a new big-screen TV he picked up. I just need to get out of the house for a bit and take my mind off of what she is likely doing right now at 9:15pm, likely lying on his bed.....
Steve, not to interrupt your 'musings' but I wanted to ask. Has Sue seen her parents lately? Does She have any time set aside to visit them? You haven't mentioned them in a while, and I wondered how they are doing, and are adjusting to their new living accommodations (?)
Cheers, Harry
Cheers, Harry
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She called me a little while ago and we talked for a few minutes. She didn't rush me off the phone or anything and she did ask me if I was okay with her staying over as she could still come home. I told her quite honestly that I was sure she'd already had sex with him once and that "the night isn't over yet" and she giggled. it wasn't an easy conversation but a few minutes later she asked me if I was hard and when I said yes, she said that was good and I knew what she wanted to hear and I told her that I planned to enjoy the evening too and she giggled again.
It's a little weird talking to your wife knowing where she is and I also knew that it wasn't right to keep her on the phone. She didn't rush me at all and even teased me that she was wearing the lingerie I'd help her pick out and I guess I must have moaned or whatever because it was the first thing I think I remembered about what we were even talking about was when she said "you can think about that later baby" and suddenly I didn't want to hang up. But at the same time, as I said, it just felt weird talking sexy to her while she was there and she asked me if it was okay if we hung up. I told her it was okay and she told me that I could text her if I ever needed her.
So - to be honest - I am sitting here buck naked stroking my cock that is positively aching when I think about where she is.
And I will say that I came to a realization that in a way, in my own head and in it's own way, that she's become that nameless, semi-faceless ****** back in college who did it with all the guys except me that night. I feel weird realizing it. But it doesn't change that I am totally turned on by it. I suppose it's rather obvious now.
It's a little weird talking to your wife knowing where she is and I also knew that it wasn't right to keep her on the phone. She didn't rush me at all and even teased me that she was wearing the lingerie I'd help her pick out and I guess I must have moaned or whatever because it was the first thing I think I remembered about what we were even talking about was when she said "you can think about that later baby" and suddenly I didn't want to hang up. But at the same time, as I said, it just felt weird talking sexy to her while she was there and she asked me if it was okay if we hung up. I told her it was okay and she told me that I could text her if I ever needed her.
So - to be honest - I am sitting here buck naked stroking my cock that is positively aching when I think about where she is.
And I will say that I came to a realization that in a way, in my own head and in it's own way, that she's become that nameless, semi-faceless ****** back in college who did it with all the guys except me that night. I feel weird realizing it. But it doesn't change that I am totally turned on by it. I suppose it's rather obvious now.
Harry - just saw your post - and before I enjoy myself I thought I would answer.
Her parents are doing surprisingly well and most surprising is the strength that her mother is demonstrating. Not so much in caring for him, but in retaining her independence and mobility as well as even participating in activities that are part of the amenities. Her father is largely immobile but is cognitively all there and able to do mostly for himself with the one side that functions well. Overall, his rate of atrophy seems to have slowed down, we think because they are now enjoying meals-on-wheels instead of my mother-in-law still trying to cook. And they have a part-time aide who works with him a bit while they interact, apparently both are quite into chess.
Now, back to my earlier desires.
Her parents are doing surprisingly well and most surprising is the strength that her mother is demonstrating. Not so much in caring for him, but in retaining her independence and mobility as well as even participating in activities that are part of the amenities. Her father is largely immobile but is cognitively all there and able to do mostly for himself with the one side that functions well. Overall, his rate of atrophy seems to have slowed down, we think because they are now enjoying meals-on-wheels instead of my mother-in-law still trying to cook. And they have a part-time aide who works with him a bit while they interact, apparently both are quite into chess.
Now, back to my earlier desires.
Well, I made it through the night although I admit that it was difficult to fall asleep.
Peak - yes, no problem admitting that I jerked off twice last night to the thoughts of what she was likely doing, especially of her in that lingerie.
And I can definitely report that even after that, I still found myself hugely horny and wishing I could abuse myself even more, so I truly have no doubt that I want all this to happen.
Even now as I post this before going into work, I can say that my cock is throbbing again, not that I could cum just yet, but surely it feels awesome to be hard and horny. I woke up horny thinking of her waking up next to him and I admit that as I showered a bit ago that all I could think of was her likely doing the same with him. I can't explain it but the thought of her primping herself while standing there naked next to him is just incredible to think about and even in my mind I can see her slightly swollen and slightly reddened pussy lips that she likely had this morning.
Damn I'm horny again.
Peak - yes, no problem admitting that I jerked off twice last night to the thoughts of what she was likely doing, especially of her in that lingerie.
And I can definitely report that even after that, I still found myself hugely horny and wishing I could abuse myself even more, so I truly have no doubt that I want all this to happen.
Even now as I post this before going into work, I can say that my cock is throbbing again, not that I could cum just yet, but surely it feels awesome to be hard and horny. I woke up horny thinking of her waking up next to him and I admit that as I showered a bit ago that all I could think of was her likely doing the same with him. I can't explain it but the thought of her primping herself while standing there naked next to him is just incredible to think about and even in my mind I can see her slightly swollen and slightly reddened pussy lips that she likely had this morning.
Damn I'm horny again.
I can imagine you waiting on pins and needles for her phone call to you at work, all bubbly about her night and morning with Paul. Enjoy your suffering. May she add to it with her call.
Do you want to reconsider cage play? Previously you two have turned down cage wearing as a means of enforcing denial. But I'm suggesting a cage as a means of Sue exercising another element of control for a day or two at most.
In the past and somewhat in the present you have given Sue control over her Big-O's, bare access, being in her at all, external access, seeing her naked, where she spends a night, and who she fucks. She also suggests your masturbation timing. A cage will give her another control element, controlling erections as well as emissions. Nothing says beta like a cage.
What if you made a cage a gift for Sue to explore with you? Imagine some Tuesdays instead of Sue telling you to masturbate she by caging you ****** you not to until she was home to watch? Imagine voluntarily caging yourself some time knowing that only Sue has a key?
Do you want to reconsider cage play? Previously you two have turned down cage wearing as a means of enforcing denial. But I'm suggesting a cage as a means of Sue exercising another element of control for a day or two at most.
In the past and somewhat in the present you have given Sue control over her Big-O's, bare access, being in her at all, external access, seeing her naked, where she spends a night, and who she fucks. She also suggests your masturbation timing. A cage will give her another control element, controlling erections as well as emissions. Nothing says beta like a cage.
What if you made a cage a gift for Sue to explore with you? Imagine some Tuesdays instead of Sue telling you to masturbate she by caging you ****** you not to until she was home to watch? Imagine voluntarily caging yourself some time knowing that only Sue has a key?
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She was already home when I arrived last night and she still looked radiant in that dress she'd picked out with me.
I don't know why but I had a sudden flood of emotions too seeing her and then hugging her. She hugged me back and pulled me close and must have realized how I felt and she whispered that she loved me and that she loved coming home to me. I got myself together pretty quickly and was fine by the time we kissed and we sort of began a "normal" evening. I only asked her if she'd had a good time and she coooed "mmm, yeah, it was really nice" and a second later she came up to me and I guess, felt that I was hardening already and she said "lets play later, okay?". When she didn't ask about my evening, I let it go.
Not much to share about the time between 6:30pm and 10:30pm or so but I suspect she knew I wasn't as horny as usual because once we finally retired to the bedroom she came up to me and asked me in a sexy voice if I'd "taken care of myself". When I told her "yes, twice" she squealed and told me how much she loved hearing that and that she thought it was so sexy that what she'd been doing had made me that horny. She reached into my shorts and squeezed my cock and felt it was a little chubby and she cooed and said "and you're still horny today?" I told her I was and she asked me if I wanted to "show her". I told her that I wasn't sure I'd cum very much and she asked me if it'd still feel good and I told her that it would. She kissed me and said "will you show me?" and as she did she started to get undresssed in front of her dresser. She pulled a night-shirt out but before she pulled it on she turned and said to me ".... or should I come and lie down next to you naked?". I guess I hadn't noticed what she was doing until I looked up and saw her standing there naked in front of me. I was speechless. She looked so beautiful and for a moment I thought she was going to climb into bed and that we were going to make love. But as she spoke I came out of that daydream and I looked at her and suddenly thought that she'd likely stood just like that next to Paul's bed.
I couldn't take my eyes off of her as she slid in to bed next to me and my cock grew fully hard as I even thought I could smell her sweet scent. She giggled and told me that she loved "knowing" how horny I was as she looked at my hardon.
She again told me how she felt knowing that I'd jerked-off twice while she was out and she mentioned that I "should always put my own needs first" and she mentioned that I shouldn't think I need to wait for her if I felt he need. I told her that I'd been thinking the same but wasn't sure about it until after the ski-weekend and I told her that I wasn't sure if I should have waited for her (and told her why - what she'd said about me having a turn). She moved closer to me and said that she loved that I still wanted her as I did but that I shouldn't think of her that way and that she hoped I understood. She held me and said that she did enjoy giving me some relief when we were away skiing but she also said that she hoped it didn't hurt to hear it but that she would have preferred it if I had masturbated and she told me that she loved how she felt last night knowing I'd given into my arousal. She pulled my head to her and she told me that she always wanted me to put my pleasure needs ahead of "waiting for me" and that now that she feels it for real (me having jerked off while she was out and not being nearly as horny for her), that is something she thinks I should "always do" if I need to.
She asked me how i felt and what turned me on so much. I told her that seeing her standing there and now with her next to me that all I could think about was her with Paul. She coaxed me and pushed me to tell her and I did so. I told how her sharing her body with him so freely all night long just turned me on. "that you were lying next to him just like you are next to me just turns me on so much". She told me how he likes to feel her breasts when he spoons up behind her and then she giggled and said "he likes to push into me too!!!" as if it were nothing. I groaned that the thought of her lying like that with him in her was so intense. She held my hand as she saw that I had started to stroke my cock now more earnestly. I had that ache from coaxing my cock to full hardness once again and I told her that the thought of her sharing herself was very intense to me.
She cooed in my ear and told me how she loved making love with Paul and she took a bit of notice of my response to her telling me that. I was lost in the stuff she was sharing with me. She told me how she loved that she "didn't have to run home afterwards" and I told her that I was "sooo horny". She giggled and told me how sexy it was that I was so turned on by that. I knew I was very close to cumming and she must have too. She told me how sexy she felt "sleeping next to my lover all night" and damn if I didn't start to almost cum. She turned and kissed me and said that she "really felt so sexy waking up next to him". And at that point, all the thoughts in my head were just too much and I grunted out loud and I felt an awesome orgasm overtake me. I grunted and it surely felt awesome. I caught my breath and opened my eyes and I saw Sue staring and I looked down and saw what she was looking at - she turned to me and said "just a little bit baby" commenting on the two small spurts and the dribble of cum that was all I produced. I told her "I told you it wouldn't be much" and she said that she was very wet from thinking that I was really drained so much from what she'd been doing.
She never showed me any of her body at all other than standing there - even then as she told me she was wet, she didn't share it with me and to be honest, I was too spent to care. She scooped up the little bit of cum onto her finger and she brought it up to my mouth where I licked it off her fingers and she then leaned in to kiss me and share it. I admit it tasted pretty bitter and she said "must be the last few drops".
We lay there after that, her lying naked next to me and even after I'd just cum with her, as my mind went back to her lying naked next to me, that her pussy was likely still wet from him and that in my head I thought I could see marks still on her breasts, that even after just cumming, I felt my cock stir once again but there was no way I'd get hard much less cum a 4th time.
I don't know why but I had a sudden flood of emotions too seeing her and then hugging her. She hugged me back and pulled me close and must have realized how I felt and she whispered that she loved me and that she loved coming home to me. I got myself together pretty quickly and was fine by the time we kissed and we sort of began a "normal" evening. I only asked her if she'd had a good time and she coooed "mmm, yeah, it was really nice" and a second later she came up to me and I guess, felt that I was hardening already and she said "lets play later, okay?". When she didn't ask about my evening, I let it go.
Not much to share about the time between 6:30pm and 10:30pm or so but I suspect she knew I wasn't as horny as usual because once we finally retired to the bedroom she came up to me and asked me in a sexy voice if I'd "taken care of myself". When I told her "yes, twice" she squealed and told me how much she loved hearing that and that she thought it was so sexy that what she'd been doing had made me that horny. She reached into my shorts and squeezed my cock and felt it was a little chubby and she cooed and said "and you're still horny today?" I told her I was and she asked me if I wanted to "show her". I told her that I wasn't sure I'd cum very much and she asked me if it'd still feel good and I told her that it would. She kissed me and said "will you show me?" and as she did she started to get undresssed in front of her dresser. She pulled a night-shirt out but before she pulled it on she turned and said to me ".... or should I come and lie down next to you naked?". I guess I hadn't noticed what she was doing until I looked up and saw her standing there naked in front of me. I was speechless. She looked so beautiful and for a moment I thought she was going to climb into bed and that we were going to make love. But as she spoke I came out of that daydream and I looked at her and suddenly thought that she'd likely stood just like that next to Paul's bed.
I couldn't take my eyes off of her as she slid in to bed next to me and my cock grew fully hard as I even thought I could smell her sweet scent. She giggled and told me that she loved "knowing" how horny I was as she looked at my hardon.
She again told me how she felt knowing that I'd jerked-off twice while she was out and she mentioned that I "should always put my own needs first" and she mentioned that I shouldn't think I need to wait for her if I felt he need. I told her that I'd been thinking the same but wasn't sure about it until after the ski-weekend and I told her that I wasn't sure if I should have waited for her (and told her why - what she'd said about me having a turn). She moved closer to me and said that she loved that I still wanted her as I did but that I shouldn't think of her that way and that she hoped I understood. She held me and said that she did enjoy giving me some relief when we were away skiing but she also said that she hoped it didn't hurt to hear it but that she would have preferred it if I had masturbated and she told me that she loved how she felt last night knowing I'd given into my arousal. She pulled my head to her and she told me that she always wanted me to put my pleasure needs ahead of "waiting for me" and that now that she feels it for real (me having jerked off while she was out and not being nearly as horny for her), that is something she thinks I should "always do" if I need to.
She asked me how i felt and what turned me on so much. I told her that seeing her standing there and now with her next to me that all I could think about was her with Paul. She coaxed me and pushed me to tell her and I did so. I told how her sharing her body with him so freely all night long just turned me on. "that you were lying next to him just like you are next to me just turns me on so much". She told me how he likes to feel her breasts when he spoons up behind her and then she giggled and said "he likes to push into me too!!!" as if it were nothing. I groaned that the thought of her lying like that with him in her was so intense. She held my hand as she saw that I had started to stroke my cock now more earnestly. I had that ache from coaxing my cock to full hardness once again and I told her that the thought of her sharing herself was very intense to me.
She cooed in my ear and told me how she loved making love with Paul and she took a bit of notice of my response to her telling me that. I was lost in the stuff she was sharing with me. She told me how she loved that she "didn't have to run home afterwards" and I told her that I was "sooo horny". She giggled and told me how sexy it was that I was so turned on by that. I knew I was very close to cumming and she must have too. She told me how sexy she felt "sleeping next to my lover all night" and damn if I didn't start to almost cum. She turned and kissed me and said that she "really felt so sexy waking up next to him". And at that point, all the thoughts in my head were just too much and I grunted out loud and I felt an awesome orgasm overtake me. I grunted and it surely felt awesome. I caught my breath and opened my eyes and I saw Sue staring and I looked down and saw what she was looking at - she turned to me and said "just a little bit baby" commenting on the two small spurts and the dribble of cum that was all I produced. I told her "I told you it wouldn't be much" and she said that she was very wet from thinking that I was really drained so much from what she'd been doing.
She never showed me any of her body at all other than standing there - even then as she told me she was wet, she didn't share it with me and to be honest, I was too spent to care. She scooped up the little bit of cum onto her finger and she brought it up to my mouth where I licked it off her fingers and she then leaned in to kiss me and share it. I admit it tasted pretty bitter and she said "must be the last few drops".
We lay there after that, her lying naked next to me and even after I'd just cum with her, as my mind went back to her lying naked next to me, that her pussy was likely still wet from him and that in my head I thought I could see marks still on her breasts, that even after just cumming, I felt my cock stir once again but there was no way I'd get hard much less cum a 4th time.
Steve, you and Sue have moved into the next stage of your evolution as a couple. It is always great when a couple can speak so openly with each other, to be so open about desires and preferences when including another person within the relationship. I am sure that it has been much easier for Sue to support your beta desires as she has become much more connected and closer to Paul sexually as he continues to become the alpha man within your relationship.
As you have written "she loved that I still wanted her as I did but that I shouldn't think of her that way and that she hoped I understood." As Sue becomes truly sexually exclusive with Paul as it seems that she would prefer you will be left your primary form of sexual fulfillment being achieved through self stimulation along with erotic thoughts of Sue being with Paul.
Together you have both traveled down this path, both of you getting something very special from the continued evolution within the relationship as it has become clear that Paul has become Sue's primary sexual partner thereby re-enforcing your beta desires and role within the overall relationship. The two of you will develop many other forms of intimacy as you both continue down this path.
SoonToBe said:
As you have written "she loved that I still wanted her as I did but that I shouldn't think of her that way and that she hoped I understood." As Sue becomes truly sexually exclusive with Paul as it seems that she would prefer you will be left your primary form of sexual fulfillment being achieved through self stimulation along with erotic thoughts of Sue being with Paul.
Together you have both traveled down this path, both of you getting something very special from the continued evolution within the relationship as it has become clear that Paul has become Sue's primary sexual partner thereby re-enforcing your beta desires and role within the overall relationship. The two of you will develop many other forms of intimacy as you both continue down this path.
So - she has agreed that she wants Paul to come over on Sunday and to spend Valentines Day with me. She must have seen my response at first when she suggested him coming over this weekend. I am pretty sure that I shouldn't expect her to want to have sex with me, not if Paul is coming over the next day, but I can still hope - not push for or expect, but hope. If she opts to not want it, then I am quite sure that I will be content in abstaining until Sunday and then demonstrating my new method for showing my appreciation.
I liked that she felt it still important to spend Valentines Day with me even if we to abstain from sex. As others here posted, there IS a sentimental and emotional quality to the day. I've made reservations at a nice restaurant for us. To Squirming's comments, Sue smiled and truly said it sounded wonderful to have dinner plans and all the while I just know that she is happy that I haven't been and won't be pestering her for sex. It feels so different to try to hold back those feelings and desires and to let them just be satisfied by myself after all this time - but at the same time, I have to say that I think I love Sue even more than ever. And for some reason, not having sex with her has totally heightened my own desires for her as well as how consumed I feel when I see her naked and know who is enjoying her.
Well, the day is almost over here and I feel strangely/eerily calm about things. It feels nice.
I liked that she felt it still important to spend Valentines Day with me even if we to abstain from sex. As others here posted, there IS a sentimental and emotional quality to the day. I've made reservations at a nice restaurant for us. To Squirming's comments, Sue smiled and truly said it sounded wonderful to have dinner plans and all the while I just know that she is happy that I haven't been and won't be pestering her for sex. It feels so different to try to hold back those feelings and desires and to let them just be satisfied by myself after all this time - but at the same time, I have to say that I think I love Sue even more than ever. And for some reason, not having sex with her has totally heightened my own desires for her as well as how consumed I feel when I see her naked and know who is enjoying her.
Well, the day is almost over here and I feel strangely/eerily calm about things. It feels nice.
So does this make it official that you two have come to an unspoken agreement that it is now pretty close to total denial? I mean if you dont have her on Saturday and jerk off for them on Sunday, would it be safe to assume its happening? It total seems like that is what she told you and prefers and you seem to be okay and ready to accept it. It would be a wonderful Valentines gift!
Far2 - no, I don't believe so as this was her desire before we went away last weekend and we did have somewhat normal (albeit with a condom) sex together when we were away.
I don't doubt that this is a step further towards that and I imagine that over time it will encourage and empower her to make that decision when she's ready but shes' not said anything to that degree/end just yet. Right now, I still feel that she thinks its important for us to still connect physically even if it is just when she wants it. I suspect her wanting it with me may still be based on my needs and what she perceives them to be. Gotta run.
I don't doubt that this is a step further towards that and I imagine that over time it will encourage and empower her to make that decision when she's ready but shes' not said anything to that degree/end just yet. Right now, I still feel that she thinks its important for us to still connect physically even if it is just when she wants it. I suspect her wanting it with me may still be based on my needs and what she perceives them to be. Gotta run.
I certainly understand what you are saying but i think she is doing it for you like in the past. My guess is that if you found the courage to give that to her as a gift she would be happy to accept it. From what you have written, it seems like she is happy with you jerking off and thinks that its just right between you too. Her love for you is beaming right now and you for her. Nothing would change and she would probably have sex with you at some point to reconnect but it would be totally up to her because she would know how you feel.
Steve,
I’m sure your instinct is right and that Sue wants to think she can reconnect with you whenever she wants to do so. At the moment you are in danger of constantly wondering about when this might happen and thus whether or not to ‘save’ yourself just in case tomorrow or whenever might be the day. Sue is bound to feel more desired knowing she has two men to call on, albeit one of them is only a reserve at the moment. To offer to eliminate this option by saying in some sense you would prefer to abstain would be a mistake, and not the gesture of a beta who would simply leave it up to her. I think it would be helpful if Sue indicated a little in advance sometimes when she might want to accept you, and if you have already taken care of things and she comes home wanting more, well I’m sure you could find a way of getting it up together. It’s not as if she’d be doing it looking for the super orgasm after all. I suspect Sue is going to want to share less with you in the future, both time in your home with Paul and talk about what happens in his house. She shared remarkably little about what happened with her previous lover, one who had better equipment and who probably was a superior lover to both you and Paul (which may be why). It would be interesting to know how Sue rated Paul against him currently and whether she sees the potential in him to get that far, if not that deep.
I’m sure your instinct is right and that Sue wants to think she can reconnect with you whenever she wants to do so. At the moment you are in danger of constantly wondering about when this might happen and thus whether or not to ‘save’ yourself just in case tomorrow or whenever might be the day. Sue is bound to feel more desired knowing she has two men to call on, albeit one of them is only a reserve at the moment. To offer to eliminate this option by saying in some sense you would prefer to abstain would be a mistake, and not the gesture of a beta who would simply leave it up to her. I think it would be helpful if Sue indicated a little in advance sometimes when she might want to accept you, and if you have already taken care of things and she comes home wanting more, well I’m sure you could find a way of getting it up together. It’s not as if she’d be doing it looking for the super orgasm after all. I suspect Sue is going to want to share less with you in the future, both time in your home with Paul and talk about what happens in his house. She shared remarkably little about what happened with her previous lover, one who had better equipment and who probably was a superior lover to both you and Paul (which may be why). It would be interesting to know how Sue rated Paul against him currently and whether she sees the potential in him to get that far, if not that deep.
Steve as you have read we each have our own view points and opinions based on our own experiences or lack thereof.
Per your published post Sue has expressed her desires, preferences and there are many ways to reconnect physically, emotionally and intimately. Simply put, based on your mutual desires and mutual agreement with pursuit of your shared desires, Sue should not be made to feel guilty and or to feel obligated to have sexual contact with her beta man now that she has regular access to her alpha man.
As many of us have mentioned, it is very likely that Sue will reduce her direct sexual contact with you in the more traditional since as she grows much closer to Paul in the future. In time she may also reduce the information she shares with you about her one on one time with Paul unless Sue begins to see you more of a best-friend and less of a sexual partner. You and Sue are currently at a place within your relationship together as well as your mutually shared relationship with Paul were each of you individually and collectively will find your place moving forward.
The key to any type of relationship is open honest communication, various forms of intimacy and flexibility (some may call this compromise) will make for a solid relationship. When you doubt the direction, remember that you did ask for this.
Per your published post Sue has expressed her desires, preferences and there are many ways to reconnect physically, emotionally and intimately. Simply put, based on your mutual desires and mutual agreement with pursuit of your shared desires, Sue should not be made to feel guilty and or to feel obligated to have sexual contact with her beta man now that she has regular access to her alpha man.
As many of us have mentioned, it is very likely that Sue will reduce her direct sexual contact with you in the more traditional since as she grows much closer to Paul in the future. In time she may also reduce the information she shares with you about her one on one time with Paul unless Sue begins to see you more of a best-friend and less of a sexual partner. You and Sue are currently at a place within your relationship together as well as your mutually shared relationship with Paul were each of you individually and collectively will find your place moving forward.
The key to any type of relationship is open honest communication, various forms of intimacy and flexibility (some may call this compromise) will make for a solid relationship. When you doubt the direction, remember that you did ask for this.
- Status
