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Denial 2015

  • Thread starterSoonToBe
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  • #661
Great updates Steve! A couple thoughts.

It will be interesting to see if it is harder (pun intended) for you to go through denial without knowing when it will end or whether having a specific date will keep you more on edge as the time nears. Please let us know as you get closer to the reconnection weekend.

My other thought is to welcome you from the other side of 60! You are doing the right thing by exploring and embracing your beta desires. After 60, like it or not, a man's sex drive will gradually decline and will not be able to keep up with a sex positive wife. Not overnight. But it eventually will happen. Sue seems to have a high sex drive and at some point hers would exceed yours. By embracing being the beta now, you are setting the stage for being happy as this natural role reversal unfolds. The roles you two are carving out and the strengthening marital relationship you forging in an alpha/beta role will lead to a very satisfying time. Sue will get the benefit of great sex with lovers as she needs. You will get the thrills of having a hotwife and the excitement it gives you, which should keep your sex drive going longer than most men.
 
  • #662
STB - It sounds like she wants to tell you more of the desires/fantasies she has had since reading about the more intense side of cuckolding. If she won't freely open up to you, try getting her to tell you some examples of what she considers out there (i.e. beyond what she would want to do with you). If you get her to do that, try getting her to tell you things she considers "just over the edge". Odds are the "out there" stuff is full of things she might really like to try (but somehow feels guilty about asking you to do), and the "just over the line" is definitely stuff she wants to try (but again won't ask you fearing your reaction).

Once its on the table, you can choose what you would like to try (or tame it down to a level you are comfortable with), and talk it out with her. Perhaps start pushing boundaries by role playing during a session where she is watching you. Your hard on will tell her all she needs to know.

Just a thought!!
 
  • #663
Wing - all good thoughts, definitely conversation material for these next 2 weeks till we go away together.

What I can say is that it was incredibly exciting watching her pick out some sexy lingerie for her to bring later tonight. She packed a small bag that she'll bring later on when I pick her up at work later this afternoon. We talked for a few minutes last night and she asked if I would just drop her off and maybe not stay with them, she looked at me and said that this will be the only night she sees him this week (we joked that her gym-class will start next week on Tuesday afternoons) and that she'd like some alone-time with him. If you could have seen how she asked me, you'd know why I couldn't say no to her request. I told her that I'd drop her at the office tomorrow as I don't want her driving home later anyway since she said that she was going to have some wine with him over/after dinner.

When she left for work I told her that I'd leave here in time for me to pick her up at work and that they'd have plenty of time tonight. She angelic look on her face when I said that to her was all I needed in terms of being thanked for my accommodation. She kissed me and said that I should "wait for her to come home later" which I am already psyched and horny about....

For Knk - I am actually feeling more and more aroused at "knowing" when we'll have sex again and yes, it seems crazy to say it, but it is turning me on incredibly to have to wait for her. I hadn't really thought about positioning our roles (beta/alpha) in regards to the future but I suppose what you're saying makes sense. I'm actually smiling thinking about Sue being a hot-granny.
 
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  • #664
Maybe later tonight you will get to just stay on the outside.
 
  • #665
Sounds like your relationship is a lot of what you both have hoped for. I think its great that she wants to include you in sharing her sex juices with you. I can't think of many things that are more stimulating to a denied cuckold then smelling and tasting that. I know you have said it a little before but do you still feel closer to her emotionally then when you we having penetrative sex? Its a shame you two arent into allowing her to control your orgasms, that would take your excitement and angst to another level!
 
  • #666
Finally a few minutes to post here. I can tell you that until both kids start to work (this coming week) that there's little free alone time for us.

Back to Thursday as there was some new thoughts and feelings about it. First was that she said she felt uncomfortable knowing she had to "call me" when she was done with Paul to drive her home. We haven't resolved that yet about what to do. On top of it she was a little annoyed that I'd gone to a go-go or titty-bar where I spent most of the night. I was in a down mood and one of the dancers there "befriended" me and hung around me a bit more when I was generous with some $1 bills. After a few, she let me feel her breasts each time I'd give her another dollar as she shook her g-string covered butt towards me. It was a slow Thursday night so after her set ended she came over and sat next to me and asked me "why so glum?". She was totally surprised when I told her the truth, that I was waiting to pick my wife up at her boyfriends! I should say she was more surprised at me than what I told her as she said "you're a good looking guy?". She was nice enough and I told her a little more, that I enjoyed my wife playing around. She giggled and said she'd heard of that but never met anyone before. She smiled and said that if I wanted a $25 lap-dance with her that she'd "let me touch". She was nice enough so I said ok and she held my hand and let me to a little booth-like area off to one side and we went in. I sat in a chair and she smiled and came over to me and sort of sat on my lap and straddled me and she looked around and when she felt it was safe, she untied the top of her outfit and encouraged me to hold her breasts. They were fake, I could feel how firm they were, but her nipples felt incredible and as I touched them she moaned out loud as she ground herself against my now hard cock. Even though her breasts were fake, her nips still worked and a moment later she looked at me and said "I'm not supposed to do this" - she put her top back in place and with a smile on her face she said "here's what your wife is giving her boyfriend" and she pulled the front of her g-string bottom away from her body. I looked down and saw she was shaved bare and quite swollen and wet. She smiled and said "give it a quick feel" and so I did - from one side I slid my hand under her panty and I felt her pussy - when she didn't flinch as I touched her open pussy I went for it and sank 2 fingers deep into her. She moaned and clenched down on me and I heard her breathe deeply. I pulled them out of her and she let out her breath and then went "ooo, that's enough for you" I guess feeling my now throbbing cock. She leaned forward and kissed me on the forehead and said "your wife is a lucky lady" and then she stood up and turned her butt back towards me and she did a little more of a dance, shaking it. Just before the song came to an end that was blaring out loud she reached down between her legs and pulled the g-string aside one more time and she gave me a peek at her pussy.

I guess it wasn't long after that when I got the text message from Sue, about 11ish I guess, that I finished the last of my now warm beer (I know how to pace myself) and I headed over to pick her up. I so felt like it was a few years ago when I was picking up my daughter from her boyfriends, only now it was my wife.

Anyway - we talked on the way home and when I told her what I'd done for the night she wasn't annoyed but did make me tell her most everything of what went on. I played down the dancer's sympathy but told her that I had felt her breasts and that she'd flashed me her pussy. She turned to me and said "you can touch" and she reached across and felt my still hard cock and added "but this stays in your pants, right?!!!!!" To which I answered "of course, that was never a question". She liked the honesty and immediacy of my reply and snuggled up to me and teasingly asked me if she had nice breasts - which she knew how I'd answer because I am partial to smaller and definitely, more natural feeling breasts. But she did giggle when I said "she was bare like you are".

She waited till we got home before she told me of her time with Paul, but while we drove, she did tell me she felt awkward at having to call me "like you're my father or something" to pick her up. I agreed and said we needed to talk and figure it out better for next time. She giggled and said that she might just as well work some overtime on other days and maybe leave work earlier and she said that she'll have to talk with Paul about that to see if it'll work for him or not (probably will as he has very flexible work schedule).

At home - well you all know the routine that we have begun to follow. Yes, this time she let me touch her a bit more - and hopefully later I can recap more details - but what we have been talking about is her asking me if I like how things are right now. She told me she's much more aware of my arousal at her (and she said that she is letting herself see and accept that I am horny for her and that she does NOT always have to reciprocate) and she wanted to hear it from me.

I am continuing to surprise myself in that I guess this is truly what I want. While I feel incredible desire and arousal at her - I am so intensely aware that it's because of what she's doing and knowing to myself that I will have to wait to be with her. It feels crazy to say it but I actually feel I want to wait another 2 weeks to be with her again. She's commented how she thinks my cock looks larger and larger to her each week and she may be right, I cannot believe how horny I can feel at the thought of masturbating for/with her. I find myself looking at her sometimes and almost wishing I'd see a trickle of wetness or find some crusty residue in her panties and to know it isn't mine. I know that I seem to cum more and more each time - or so it seems - I also know that I love "waiting" and restraining myself on Wednesday's now that our routine seems to have moved to Thursday's. It seems so weird to be turned by not fucking her. In some ways, I may sound crazy here to some, but I feel like I've unlocked something in lettting me accept my beta-desires. Maybe it's something like Knk said, that less may be more?
 
  • #667
Steve,

To be honest, perfect balance between a couple is what is good for the goose is good for the gander meaning what Sue is free to do you should have the same freedom.

If Sue has "reservations" of what your doing and demands governance then you should turn the light back on what she is doing and the freedom she has. Is it right for her to be doing what she is doing and not want/give you the same freedom?

With this sort of balance each spouse is made more fully aware of what they have and a greater appreciation that "each" has needs. You are spending your Thursday evenings away because SUE wants to be alone with Paul to make this work for Sue so you going to a "titty bar" makes her annoyed? Whooo, really not fair to most people looking in on this from the outside.

When there is this kind of balance, both spouses, "have more skin in the game" and can be a wake-up call if one is needed. You have needs to and are putting them on hold somewhat for Sue. Sue needs to know that plain and clear.

Saying it is one thing. Showing thru action delivers the message firmly to ground point.

I would strive for more of your freedom and demand the same even if your not intending to go all the way yourself. The mutual freedom can help to create greater mutual respect and grow your respective love for each other to greater heights.

Regards
 
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  • #668
Steve,

I can not speak for anyone else here although from my own first hand experience in this type of relationship, when you are going through such a evolution within your marriage as you both transition, she taking the Alpha role as you are the beta, as I am sure that you have already experienced, there is a great level of balance within a relationship through the imbalance which is a natural part within the lifestyle you both have decided to explore together. As a beta, there will always be some areas within the relationship were you will not be on the same level of equality with Sue, that does not mean that you do not have a balanced relationship sexual, just means that you are no longer equals sexually per say. Balance within the relationship no longer means sexual equality and I would highly recommend against making the type of demands of Sue as Manon has suggested as you make cause a ripple effect that may bring down everything you have been working towards this past year.

Give everything consideration and do what is best for you, you and Sue and enjoy the journey.

Do not let anyone here discourage you...
 
  • #669
Sounds like a great reason for a Dom Hot Wife to lock up her cuckolded beta male in chastity...........
 
  • #670
Have not made a comment on this thread before, but the last couple of posts prompted me to make a comment. If anyone has read any of my posts on here you will understand that I am not into the beta role at all, more of a voyeuristic desire BUT.

I would say that Sue has the perfect right to be annoyed after all what she does has been discussed and agreed, and it is also what Steve wants.

What Steve did was not, and was a breach of trust IMHO.
 
  • #671
I think you all may have misinterpreted my choice of words and assumed that mention of her being annoyed is an issue, etc. It's not, it was more tongue-in-cheek and ironic as a cuckold that I chose to go see other women at a titty-bar instead of staying and watching her - it's a rhetorical statement, we both know she'd said she wanted to be alone and why as a cuck it's sort of ironic.... I suppose things seemed unbalanced without my sharing our fun when we got home on Thursday and then again on Friday night - more on that in a moment.

Pnis - not sure what any of this has to do with being locked up in chastity, but I know that's your thing. Her comment on keeping it in my pants was regarding me fucking or doing anything more than touching the strippers in the bar, not about me jerking off.

Alan - not sure where you came from and not sure what you think we agreed and discussed, but my going to a titty-bar has nothing to do with any of that so again, everyone here has taken something and put their own spin on it. Sue could care less that I am seeing other womens breasts - whether in a titty-bar, on the nude beach or on the web. And she well knows that I"m not one to step out on her like that. If anything her "annoyance" was more in the sense that I didn't/couldn't find anything else to do with myself which is part of what I already shared, that it was part of what she felt uncomfortable about, that she felt it wasn't good for me.

What I didn't share was that despite us both being tired when we got home on Thursday night, that we both felt a need and a desire to be close for a little while. Of course her squirming in her seat next to me for most of the ride home also had a big part of it - especially when I asked her what was wrong and she said "I'm really wet down there if you must know" and I watched her again and again resposition her pants and panties. She showed me when we got home how the crotch of her panties was quite wet. And this time she asked and encouraged me to undress her. It turned me on to unclip and then unzip her dress - seeing it clipped together at the top made me horny to think about Paul helping her get re-dressed. She'd left her stockings off and as the dress slipped down to the floor I could see just how wet her panties were and I could also see her nipples were quite hard beneath the lacy front of her bra. She reached for me to get undressed and a moment later we were both in our underwear and my cock now visibly hard beneath.

Yes, I'll say in advance that as Golf predicted, when she did slip off and step out of her panties she did say to me to "not lick or suck too much, you remember, right?" and my god was my cock hard when she let me reach behind her and unclasp her bra and reveal them to me. I think I was trembling as she put her arms forward towards me to take her bra off. My cock was rock hard and standing at attention when she reached down and pushed my boxers off and she giggled at how horny I must have been. When I told her I was, she smiled and we laid down on the bed.

She let me do whatever I wanted to her breasts but as I was getting into holding and teasing them she did whisper to me "we're just playing tonight" which I knew meant that I/we were just going to masturbate despite how horny I felt at the moment and how I hoped she'd say otherwise. I think I started playing with my cock as I began to kiss and then gently suck and chew at her nipples. She moaned loudly as I did so and a part of me was still thinking that maybe she'd want to do more. But a moment later when I felt her put one of her hands over mine on my cock and "help me" stroke it, I knew she intended on making me wait till our weekend.

She did lay on her back and she did let me run my hands down her body and yes, even touching her pussy but she looked at me and said to not play inside her and she even took a second to lose the horny glazed over look in her eye to tell me that she was serious and that she didn't want me to play with her internally, actually what she said was "not yet" and said that "maybe next week or if not, then definitely when we go away". My god did she feel hot and steamy as I ran my finger all around - but not in - her pussy. She was swollen and as I played I had to get up on my elbow and look because as I ran my finger down around the back part of her pussy - across the ridge between her pussy and ass - I felt it feeling so wet and warm.

Sure enough, it felt that way for a reason and as I looked at her pussy she said softly to me "it's still running out of me isn't it?" and she said she thought her panties had absorbed most of it. I nodded as I stared and she saw me and said to me "okay if you want to lick it baby, but just lick it, nothing more please...." almost in a pleading voice. I turned to her and asked her "are you sure?" and she said "yeah, you have to start again some time, right?" - and just how she said it, I could feel her uncertainty at letting me lick at her. I knew despite what I wanted that I should listen to her and go along with what she was asking.

She laughed lightly as I moved around and she giggled a little and said "oooh, it has been a long time, hasn't it?". She got up on her elbows as I got into place between her legs. "Like how it looks?" she asked when I had my face just inches from her pussy. I moaned back a clear "uh huh"! And so - a second or two later I extended my tongue and for the first time in almost as far as I can remember, my tongue touched her pussy!!!! I ran it around the edge - so enjoying feeling her very bare skin - and as I ran it down to the bottom of her pussy I immediately tasted what I so remembered as the taste of Paul's cum!!! It tasted so tart compared to the sweetness of her own juices and yet my god, it just turned me on as I felt more of it trickle out of her, knowing what it was - and yes - the thought that his cock was where my tongue was maybe just an hour or so earlier.

I licked around and around but taking great pains and trying hard to resist the urge to plunge my tongue into her gaping pussy. But I didn't avoid her clit, at least not for long, and as I began to pay attention to the top of her pussy and licking around the hood around her clit - she began to moan more loudly and I thought she would let me go a bit longer but instead, I felt her hands on my head pushing me back when she felt I was getting her too worked up. "Too much baby, just let me enjoy it from Paul, okay?" and a minute later "you'll have lots of time to do this and more to me soon enough baby".

When I realized she'd just confirmed what she did and didn't want I accepted it and knew what she'd said would be how it'll happen - that when we go away in another almost 2 weeks will be when I get to truly have all of her again. And so, on Thursday night I lay back down next to her and she turned towards me and said "I came a lot already baby, now it's your turn!". And she proceeded to continue to tell me more of what had gone on between them while she was there. She told me how horny they both were and how only seeing him once a week left them both wanting something more physical. Just hearing her tell me stuff like that had me rock hard and she knew I'd abstained on Wednesday night so she wanted to be sure it was good for me! She told me how hot and wet she was for him (she knows that gets to me too - telling me how wet she was "for him") and how she orgasmed as soon as he pushed his way into her. She told me how tight she felt and how he took his time to get her "used to him again". And as she told me how she felt herself "get used to him" she told me how she felt him deeper and deeper and how she could feel her pussy "juicing up for him".

But it was how she told me how he felt when they were finally fucking that really turned me on. She told me again on Friday how horny Paul said he was and how she told me how she "came with him - both times" that got me to the edge and she knew it. She smiled and snickered and taunted me that "I could feel it in me baby, so hot and warm .... both times....". Just how she said "...both times" was sooooo sexy and she knew what she was saying to me - and sure enough, as I let my mind go with that thought, didn't I cum all over the place - both nights!!!!!
 
  • #672
I'm just having some fun with you Steve, I'm a cuck with a sense of humor...lol
 
  • #673
lol - I figured that - no worries here - but that's not where her mind (or mine is) at.
 
  • #674
Steve as always a wonderful detailed post. :)
 
  • #675
Sorry, it did seem as if I went off on one there and I withdraw my last sentence.

What I really meant that the 'what is good for the goose is good for the gander' is not necessarily so. I know that if my wife ever did anything, which is what I want to happen, she would be adamant I would not be able to do anything with other women, which I accept.

I know that is one of her worries which stops her from seeing other men, and I am trying to make her realise that without her agreement it would never happen.

I will go back to being an interested reader :)
 
  • #676
Thanks Alan - I appreciate your update and am glad that you see this the way it was intended. I don't really feel any need to be with another woman, my pleasure is somehow derived from my denial from my wife.
 
  • #677
Steve
Has she told Paul the extent to which you guys are abstaining?
 
  • #678
STB
Great updates is Sue going to see Paul today. or will she wait till thursday again.
keep us posted.
 
  • #679
Steve, Just as Wingman I am also interested to know if Sue has shared more with Paul about the level of abstinence and or denial which has become the norm between you and Sue while she continues to enjoy Paul as her lover. If she has not shared more about it with him, do you know if Sue plans to let Paul know that she has been exclusive with him when it comes to him being the only man to have her in such a way with exception to the night that Paul invited you to take a turn with Sue.

wingman said:
Steve
Has she told Paul the extent to which you guys are abstaining?
 
  • #680
Sue is due home any minute now - she said she left work early to see Paul and wound up staying later so she's bringing home a pizza for dinner for all of us. Seems like we have little free time right now while we get re-acclimated to having now one-year-older kids home. And we're dealing with getting a car for our daughter which should ease things up a bit and allow her to get out of the house more.

Squirm/Wing - Sue continues to tell me that she's only told Paul that sometimes I wait to have her - she hasn't told him that we are only reconnecting once every few weeks. From the little we've talked about that specifically, I get the feeling she doesn't want to rock or change things with Paul by maybe telling him something he won't be able to understand. It was enough for him to know that I know.

I have posted here and in PM/email that I think if Paul were a different kind of guy - maybe a bit more macho, dom or aggressive in general - that revealing our denial play would be something that could be good or enhance things but he isn't any of them so even I am not sure how he'd respond to it.

More later.
 
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