Denial 2015

[Harry2614]

Rax, I just did a word search:

In Par. 2 of Post # 64 of the thread "Trial Denial" it is written, speaking of Robert:
"The way she described things, he always makes it seem like he wants her. Praising her, complimenting her, staring at her - and a biggie for her - she says "he listens to me."

can it be any clearer? Maybe that's what the "reset" is all about (?)

Cheers, Harry

 

[SquirmingSub]

Rak, to clear the air since it would seem that I may have offended some in the past. I do believe that each of us brings something different to the conversation and everyone has very good view point at various stages of the thread. I only referred to shallow minded thoughts and expressions when it simple seems that some people only believe a couple can have an amazing intimate connection when traditional penetrative contact is involved. The fact is when a couple has a strong foundation build on a strong commitment to each other, having deep open and honest communication within there relationship well beyond lustful sex that a couple can develop and maintain a very deep and strong intimate connection even while exploring various forms of denial. This is something that Steve seems to be experiencing for himself. Yes he may come to regret it although if they relationship is based on the foundation that it seems to be then I have a belief that his relationship with Sue and the intimacy will continue to grow.

Harry, your reference on #481 may be on the money when it comes to the “reset”. I do believe that this is something that Steve will come to realize as he and Sue continue to develop or redevelop a stronger deeper level of intimacy outside of the bedroom.

Steve, it has been great to read your continued sharing of your experiences, feelings and plans for the future.

Have a good day everyone.

 

[peakmb]

Squirming, you seem to be well meaning here and I'm sure none of us would contradict your statements that people such as you describe both exist and have satisfying lives. Your have unfortunately been caught up in a cross fire not aimed at you. What I and perhaps others are saying is that for six years the people you describe were not Steve and Sue and probably never will be. As previously documented they are simply not wired that way and are not likely to change that much now.

 

[Knk069]

Steve,
Thank you for the detailed description of what may be your last time having penetrative sex with Sue. (Although, somehow I think it will happen again but far enough in the future that it may seem like forever!)

Your description of your last time with Sue was very poignant. Reading it brought back memories of times early in my relationship with my wife when she wanted to break things off and we had that emotional, tears running down our cheeks sex as we felt it was the last time forever. Fortunately it wasn't the end for us. I hope it won't be the last for you and Sue.

In your heart of hearts, do you truly believe that may have been the last time ever?

 

[SquirmingSub]

Squirming, you seem to be well meaning here and I'm sure none of us would contradict your statements that people such as you describe both exist and have satisfying lives. Your have unfortunately been caught up in a cross fire not aimed at you. What I and perhaps others are saying is that for six years the people you describe were not Steve and Sue and probably never will be. As previously documented they are simply not wired that way and are not likely to change that much now.

Peak, thank you for your reply. You and I both have seen Steve's post on this and other forums over the years and yes you very well may be correct. I would agree with you that over the past 6 years that Steve and Sue did seem to be on one side of the lifestyle, with that said along with Steve's omission about his desire to explore his beta side (which I did not expect him to ever to do) it does give way to what seems to me as a evolution within there relationship as it opened another door for them both. Yes I could be misreading the implied changes within the relationship and if that is the case I have no issues saying that I was incorrect in my view point and assessment respectively. I would like to thank you for the clarity.

 

[SoonToBe]

Okay - where to start in the little time I have right now....

Knk - no - it's more a figure of speech and an attitude that I would say she and I want to take for the short term, in a way, it was said at the time to emphasize the moment a bit more as well as for both of us to indicate our agreement to trying this. But I've always said since the very first posts I made here that long term chastity or celibacy isn't in the cards and I surely do not intend to never fuck her again. However, the unknowingness of how long her desire with Paul will endure adds the sense of semi-permanence that seems to arouse me incredibly right now.

She got home a while ago and while we haven't talked much yet other than the obligatory over-dinner how-was-your-day stuff, she's now catching up with her mom and sister on the phone. But she did already tell me that "we are going to have some fun later".

Harry - I think you are placing a lot of emphasis on a few words over the course of time. That you'd indict our current situation with a comment that was made probably 2 years ago seems to place little value on our current communication. Yes, I think you may be onto something that her comment back then might indicate some source of her current reset-desire, but - for me at least - the decision to open up about it and want to deal with it - as well as enjoy the heck out of her time with Paul - is most definitely related to the closeness and comfort we have in communicating now. I can say that it's that very comfort that relaxed me enough to come out and share my beta-wishes with her. I continue to feel that she wants and needs to know I am turned on by what she's doing for her to do it - so your talk of gloom and doom for you an Raks seems to fly in the face of how I feel and how I strongly feel that she feels. You have picked a few words out of hundreds of other posts to seemingly make your case and that to me sounds like junk-science type of thinking. Yes, I work with math and statistics - and like this type of thing you are doing, I can make statistics mean anything if I limit or selectively include only certain types of data.

What I'd say in general is that - at least right now - I am incredibly turned on to hopefully hear how she felt last night with him knowing she was truly his sexually. She surely has the aire of having been well pleasured. And yes, for Peak and others - I'm well aware of balancing my masturbation desires so I don't go too far and can't come back to the 'real thing'. But at the same time, I reallly do want to feel the desire build in me for her and to see and know she is his sexually for now. I want to feel the desire to seduce her and strip her naked and play with and enjoy her body - but at the same time to know that I can only enjoy feeling that desire and not fulfill it. So far, the thought of not fucking her for the near future has me very aroused. In a way, at least for me, it does feel like she was kind of weaning me down in recent weeks anyway - our sexual fun had reduced either naturally or through both of our desires - so I'm not sure, at least not right now, whether I am going to feel the angst just yet or whether that won't occur until my desires rise even more. But that is so what I want to feel. I so want to look at the pictures of her and feel the longing for me to feel her, penetrate her and cum in her again - but that desire isn't there right now, the desire to be denied that with her is paramount for me right now. We are already under-way, it's too late to turn back (well, not really but for arguments sake) so I am taking the attitude to embrace it and enjoy it as best and as much as I can.

 

[SquirmingSub]

Steve, It is good to read the additional clarity put fourth with regard to what you have previously shared as opposed to the current scenario which has been developing with the introduction of Paul and your openness about your beta desires. As always it has been great to read your continued sharing of your experiences, feelings and plans for the future.

 

[Knk069]

Thanks for the clarification. That is what I thought/hoped. I'm sure that mindset ramps up the angst. Good luck.

 

[SoonToBe]

I thought I should report in on the first Wednesday night since our big-decision.

Sure enough about 10pm or so Sue came up to me and suggested that "maybe you want to join me in the bedroom for a little while?".
Now the one thing that surprised me already even before my update last night that I should have mentioned was that I got a very nice kiss and embrace when she came home and when we went up into the bedroom she surprised me again by the kind of kiss and embrace we shared. I kept my arms around her shoulders and back as we kissed - she hugged me back and our kiss was very intense. Now I could tell she wasn't trying to make it sexual, she wasn't grinding herself against me but it was a passionate kiss and hug.

We talked for a few minutes and she told me that she liked how things had been last Wednesday and that she hoped things would be the same. I told her I did too. With that she smiled and I started to undress down to my boxers and I was hard already as I lay on the bed still looking at her. She smiled and said that I could watch as she unbuttoned her top and slipped it off followed by her pants. I groaned as I saw her in different underwear than the day before and I got so hard at thinking about it all. She smiled as she lay on the bed next to me and asked me if I wanted her to undress more. I gagged as I struggled to say "YES" and she smiled and said that I should think about Paul and her the night before as she unclasped her bra and her breasts came into view.

Yes, I felt an incredible ache at seeing them and knowing she was doing it to tease me as I knew that she didn't want me to touch them, but at the same time knowing Paul had likely enjoyed them really turned me on. She giggled as she saw my response and then smiled as she looked at me and said "you can see the rest" and she started to slip off her panties! Again, just seeing her nakedness appear and knowing I couldn't touch her or have her drove me so crazy and yet turned me on so - I thought I might cum as she slipped her panties off her foot and tossed them.

I thought she might start to tell me about her and Paul but instead she asked me "so, how does it feel to look but not touch?".

 

[bevw]

I love the direction that your life is taking with Sue. Might it be helpful if Sue were to put a 'minimum time period' to your not having sex with her? Perhaps putting a minimum of say 6 months would be a good starting point. Of course she can increase the time whenever she desires. But that way you would have a time frame in your mind as a reference point.

 

[SoonToBe]

Bev - I really think that this thing with Paul won't last beyond the end of the year - just how I feel from what she's said and how things have gone in the past. I think if it lasts 6 months that I'll be likely climbing the walls by then - but at the same time, I thought I'd have felt that going to use condoms with her but I found that strangely satisfying. So far, masturbating for her last night was very pleasurable - perhaps even more than in the past because of what we are doing. But I am not kidding myself, I know that this arousal will likely fade and that will be when the angst will rise in me.

Unfortunately I've also just learned that I need to head into the office this afternoon so my day online here will likely be cut short.

 

[Harry2614]

Harry, ..... That you'd indict our current situation with a comment that was made probably 2 years ago seems to place little value on our current communication. Yes, I think you may be onto something that her comment back then might indicate some source of her current reset-desire, but - for me at least - the decision to open up about it and want to deal with it - as well as enjoy the heck out of her time with Paul - is most definitely related to the closeness and comfort we have in communicating now. I can say that it's that very comfort that relaxed me enough to come out and share my beta-wishes with her. I continue to feel that she wants and needs to know I am turned on by what she's doing for her to do it - so your talk of gloom and doom for you an Raks seems to fly in the face of how I feel and how I strongly feel that she feels. You have picked a few words out of hundreds of other posts to seemingly make your case and that to me sounds like junk-science type of thinking. Yes, I work with math and statistics - and like this type of thing you are doing, I can make statistics mean anything if I limit or selectively include only certain types of data.

Steve, for the record, I am not into "doom & gloom". Never have been and never hope to be. Not in my life, and certainly not in anyone else's.

What I am into is accuracy and consistency. The quote I cited, (from the time of Robert) was not ‘cited’ as an indication of “doom & Gloom” but was cited to explain why your situation is as it is, at this time, which you acknowledged in the very next sentence as quoted above. I am not trying to ignite a controversy, only pointing out that there has always been a consistency in what Sue wants in her partnerships, whether at home with you, or with a boyfriend.

I could also point out that the word “obligated” (or similar adjectives) occur throughout your narrative, but have 'shown up' more frequently since the beginning of the year, in what I call the “Paul” chapter. Which indicates (to me, at least), that throughout at least the previous 8 years, Sue has, from time to time, felt that she should, as a 'good wife,’ prefer her husband as her lover. Yet during the same time you, (her husband) have clearly preferred that she have other men as a lovers. You can’t claim that as an engineered statistic, because it is literally the theme of your whole narrative.

Is it relevant ? Yes I think it is, and since becoming a “Beta” and putting your sex live in her hands, (so to speak) she now has the opportunity to get relief from your “pressure” by employing long term “denial,” and thereby condition you to share with her in a “reset” of your romantic life together. A reset that not only includes ‘sex’ but your entire relationship together. A reset meaning, as Sue has already explained, that you will have the opportunity to “woo & court” her. “Seduce," and finally “make love” to her, just as each of her boyfriends has had to do.

Cheers, Harry

 

[peakmb]

Steve, I'm glad that your Wednesdays at least have got back onto a stable footing. I almost said normal.. As Harry alludes to above, my key questions continue to be about your future. The reset or whatever you want to call it. You need Paul in place at the moment. From what both you and Sue have said, neither of you is ready at present for a reset to occur. Sue needs to play out her feelings of being apart while being satisfied by Paul and you need to play out your feelings of pleasure in denial and reliance on only your hands. There are thus three separate timescales running, none with a defined or bounded limit and all three need to play out before a reset can be engaged successfully. If Paul is still in play you can't become Sue's sole lover. If Sue is not ready even if Paul has gone then you can't return. The last option is the one that worries me. If Sue is ready and Paul has gone, what if you have not prepared yourself and still want to play out your denial dreams or even enhance them. You clearly have time and it causes me no concern at present but at some point you do need to address this and my worry is you don't even seem to acknowledge it. Maybe you do and it just doesn't make interesting post material. Let us know.

 

[SoonToBe]

Peak - I understand what you're saying. What if I'm still into my beta/denial and she wants me back. I really don't think that'll be a problem. I say that because of what she's said will be for the weekend. No, she didn't see Paul last night or tonight, instead she's decided that he'll come here on Sunday afternoon and she's already said that I will be invited to "watch him fuck me" and then she looked at me and said "it'll be the first time you'll watch when you will not be having me after he leaves". It wasn't said in a spiteful way, actually she had a bit of sexy but very serious tone to her.

We were lying in bed earlier and she looked over at me and saw I was hard and she asked me if I was horny. I told her yes and she said that she wanted to go to bed and that if I needed to I should "go in the office and enjoy yourself" and she giggled and said "you can think about not having me" and she snuggled into bed.

I think she is going to push my buttons. I can feel it in her, as if she wants to almost rub it in my face. Well, I may wish she'll do that but for now, it's a figure of speech.

She so loved me telling her how turned on I was the other night, it was nice to feel and it was nice that I was able to open up and tell her that it was what I'd wanted to feel. I told her that knowing she was truly his for now and that only he would have her sexually was something that I wanted to feel. She hugged me as I stroked and told me that she needed to feel she could let go of me and give herself to Paul like she did and she told me in quite exquisite detail - at times, tormentingly detailed - of how he had fucked her, or rather, how they made love (yes, her words) and she told me how she felt letting herself go with him and she told me how he'd made her cum and cum and cum before he took his turn with her. Just from how she said it, it so turned me on. But it wasn't until she asked me more of how it feels to "look and not touch" as she again showed me the bright pink interior of her pussy, I told her that it was the most exciting feeling I'd ever had - and it wasn't much after that when I let go myself and squirted a huge load again.

But from how open and how almost in-my-face she was the other night, I suspect she is going to give me all the beta-feelings I can handle.

Now, time to take care of this raging hard-on yet again. I feel like I'm a teenager - I get hard seeing her naked or seeing her hard nipples beneath her night-shirt, or even just seeing her panties on the floor in the bathroom and knowing she's naked beneath her night-shirt.

 

[peakmb]

Steve, thanks for the response. It doesn't really answer my question but at the same time perhaps that is best left now for a few months until it becomes more pressing. For now it seems you and Sue are both enjoying your beta / alpha roles and it's going to be fun for a while. Too good for a bit to really think or worry about the future and for a bit I don't think that's a bad thing. Enjoy the weekend. From what you have said, does this mean Paul is now aware of your fully denied status? If so this is the first time you will have seen him since he found out. Be interesting to see his response to you with it.

 

[SoonToBe]

Well, just a quick update. It became painfully aware to me last night that this is the first I am truly experiencing full denial from her. I've been good about it and respecting her (and my) wishes - and it's become something that is keeping me hard virtually all the time.

Paul will be here just after dinner tonight and Sue's already told me that she would like some alone-time with him but then said "you can come in for the good parts" (when he gets her to cum and yes, when he finally cums in her). And I fully expect to be teased and tormented later tonight after he leaves. She seems quite into what she says is "giving you the beta experience" that I've wanted. And she's admitted that her pen-pal friends are somewhat behind this.

I"m a little nervous - I haven't seen them in person now for a while and I wonder if she set it up like this?

Anyway - gotta run and get dinner going.

 

[SquirmingSub]

Steve, as always you have been expressive with the details of your feeling leading to what will be your first time completely within your new role. Some would say that we all should be careful as to what we ask for as we indeed may not like the reality as much as the fantasy. Embrace it, try to let go of any anxiety and enjoy it.

 

[SoonToBe]

Oh my god, I am going to sound crazy when I say this but I so loved last night!!!!

Paul came by after dinner, must have been about 7:30pm maybe later. Sue and I had been talking as I'd said and she seemed very into, as I'd said, giving me the "beta experience" I wanted. Well, she gave it to me in spades last night (no, not referring to black guys).

He was very cordial when he came in and we talked easily. He mentioned how long it'd been since I'd been with them and I told him, with a bit of a cuckold thrill, that I had missed seeing him with her. He had a wry smile but said "yea, she's mentioned it" as he pulled her closer to him on the couch while I sat across from them.

I won't post every detail leading up to them going up to our bedroom but suffice to say he had very much seduced her on the couch while I went into the kitchen and left them alone for a bit. He had her top open and her bra off as she lay back on the couch and he was sucking at her breasts and I could hear her moaning which is what made me go back into the room in the first place. She saw me, smiled and, if anything, pushed her chest out even more towards him. I admit it did strike me for a moment that he was doing to her what she wouldn't let me do - and I'll also say that as I stood there watching them, I got wicked hard.

She got up and came to me with her top still open and her nipples now like little pebbles and she said to me "we're going upstairs now". Paul was all smiles as she said that to me and then they both went up to our bedroom. From what she'd told me earlier, I knew she wanted me to leave them alone for a bit before I went upstairs. And I admit it was pretty amazing to hear them getting more and more passionate before I went up to join them and watch.

As I stood in the doorway Paul had his face buried in her pussy and she had one hand on the back of his head while the other held back one of her legs even more. I could hear the slurping and squishing sounds of him licking her pussy deep inside and I think as I watched, she came because she arched her back upwards and she let out this deep moan and a moment later I heard him making a "mmmmmm" sound. It so turned me on that she'd cum like that and that he was now so familiar with her pussy and how she tastes when she cums.

I don't think either of them knew I was watching - they seemed totally into each other. He was already undressed and as I watched he shifted his position and I watched as he took his place between her legs. He stroked his cock a few times and as he did, even from the doorway, I could see her pussy was spread and I could see the glisten of her wetness. I wanted to move in closer but didn't want to interrupt them in any way and I feared opening the door more so I could go in would have distracted them just then.

Instead I waited till he started to rub that big head on his cock up and down her pussy split. Even from the doorway I could see the size of the knob on the end of his cock. I guess it had been some time as I was totally entranced in watching Sue respond to his cock rubbing up and down and spreading her wetness all over. I recognized his technique - I knew he was going to get her really worked up before he fucked her.

I DID go in the room when I knew they were going to start fucking. When Sue and I talked I told her that I wanted to be there for that part and not just at the end. She smiled at me and said she was okay with that if it's what I wanted. I heard her moan the first few times he pushed into her but didn't get in - and then as I was just at the foot of the bed and getting down on my knees on the floor, I watched as he pushed at her forcibly and she let out a gasp as his cock was finally in her.

Again, I'm not sure if they knew I was there - but I loved seeing her respond to him. He went slow with her until it was obvious even to me that she wanted it harder and deeper - and he seemed happy to give it to her. He hooked her legs around his arms as he fucked her (my favorite position) and they went at it. I can't describe how beautiful I felt she looked as she gave into him and let him take her. She must have had 2 or 3 smaller orgasms before he suddenly pulled out of her - leaving her pussy gaping open beneath him. He gently pulled at her hips and as she turned over and got up onto her knees he gave her butt a gentle slap.

They both noticed me as she got into the doggy position and he stood behind her - and since they'd both noticed me - I think the both of them put on a bit more of a "show" for me. He pulled out of her several times - each time letting me see his cock covered with her wetness and to let me see that her pussy was literally staying open for him! Between her moans and screams into the pillow, I knew he'd made her cum at least one more time before he grabbed her hips and pulled her fully back onto his cock which brought her up off the bed for a moment.

I knew that she wouldn't want him to cum in that position though. And sure enough, just a few moments later he turned her over again and this time she pulled her own legs back brazenly showing him how wet and open she was for him. I have to say, seeing her lie back and show herself so eagerly and openly to him had me rock hard.

I knew from how they were that they were both horny and that they weren't going to take their time now. And sure enough, he really started fucking her. Maybe it was all in my head but he seemed to be much more physical and forceful with her including pushing deep into her and staying there before resuming his motions. All I could think about was his big cock buried in her with that fat-head likely up against her cervix deep inside!

I have to say that I was totally into watching - as if knowing I wasn't having her later made it even more intense. I was watching her fuck and I will say that knowing I wasn't going to have her was just so horny for me - I can't fully explain it - sure my cock was rock hard, but I also felt this great feeling of loving watching her. Well, Paul put on quite a good show for me too! Maybe it was that they hadn't been together since earlier in the week, but he seemed really horny for her. He'd pull almost all the way back and at the right angle with the right light I could even see her inner pussy lips being pulled and stretched outward when he'd pull back - and then - oh wow - seeing him push back into her soooo slowly was just really horny to see. I could tell from how she moaned and responded that his cock was right against her g-spot as he pushed back in. Her wetness began to seep out of her at the botttom of her pussy, especially when he'd pull almost all the way out.

It could have been 5 minutes or it could have been 45 minutes - I don't know - all I know is that they were into it. I will say it was a little humbling but also so arousing to me to know she would only be having him. And sure enough, his first time was about to happen - I remembered his motions, short deep strokes and I saw them starting and I knew. For some reason it just felt so so right to me when I watched him take one more big plunge into her and then he remained still, deep in her, and I watched his body tense and his butt tighten several times and I'll openly admit that I loved that moment - maybe even more now - of knowing he'd given he something that I won't for quite a while.

I also knew what was coming next - and sure enough - Paul remained pretty hard and after a few moments he began to again thrust in and out of her. This time his cum came streaming out of her pussy and down to her ass as he ramped up his pace. She literally turned to jello beneath him and a moment later as he continued his wet-fuck with her she began to shake and moan. As he kept at her, she got louder and louder until she let out a shriek. I saw a flood of wetness gush out of her as he pulled back and a moment later she was lying still on the bed beneath him, unable to move. It totallly thrilled me that he stayed deep in her until she'd come down a bit and he then pulled out of her.

He rolled over onto my side of the bed leaving Sue lying there motionless with her entire pussy on display as if it were nothing. From where I was kneeling I could see a thick bead of his cum, a pale whitish/yellowish look in the dim light, come oozing out of her from deep inside. I so loved seeing her like that knowing how she felt. A moment later he got up on his side and lay against her and as she lay there catching her breath, he showed me clearly that he was her lover - his hands and fingers went everywhere including in her pussy while I watched.

I wasn't sure what was going to happen next until Sue seemed to come out of her daze and upon seeing me there she smiled but did nothing to move or change her position. A few moments later Paul leaned over and kissed her passionately and the then got off the bed and went into the bathroom. Sue motioned for me to come up closer and when I did she asked me if I had liked watching her. I told her that I always did. I almost leaned in for a kiss or a caress of her breasts but then realized that she didn't want that - and in fact - a second later after that thought of mine she said "can you leave us alone for a little while, Paul is going to want seconds". Just how she said it struck me - as if it were nothing. She smiled at me as it sank in and I am quite sure she knew I was hard. We both heard the toilet flush in the bathroom so I knew he was coming back to her and before he came out, I left the room.

I was going to post here but then I found myself listening at the door and peering in several times until the scene was almost repeated! I wasn't totally surprised that Paul was horny for a second round but I was at just how they both were -almost as eager as the first time. (later Sue told me that she had not said anything to Paul about what we're doing). Again I watched as he pleasured my wife as I no longer am allowed to. And her response to him made it clear that he was doing a fine job!

Finally, must have been at least 10pm or later, after she'd screamed and violently cum again, he finally pulled out of her for the last time. His cock was smaller now and slipped easily out of her followed by yet another thick bubbly trickle of cum. Again he lay there next to her for a while - th key kissed and caressed and very much enjoyed their post-fuck bliss together. As they started to kiss and embrace I felt it was better to let them be alone and so I did leave and I did close the door knowing they'd hear me.

It wasn't for another 15-20 minutes before the door opened and Paul came out. I'd heard water running in the bathroom and when I saw he was dressed, I realized he'd been cleaning up. He saw me in the kitchen and he said "thanks" - it was a little awkward but it was honest. I told him it was good seeing him again and I said thanks back. I think we could have talked more but he seemed to want to go and I knew that she was lying in bed upstairs likely just as he left her.

Sure enough - she was still in bed but had now pulled a sheet up over her. When I came back in the bedroom she smiled and motioned me over to her. I wasn't sure what I should do and what to not do - especially when she pulled the sheet back and let me see her! "So, how did you like watching knowing that's all you'll be doing?". I groaned back as I saw the sheet come away from her body and I said "it was intense". She coyly spread her legs and said "he left me very messy". I hoped she might have said for me to clean her up but she didn't - instead she just said "I love that"..

We talked for a few moments - I told her how intense it was to watch them, especially knowing what I wasn't going to get to do. She giggled and spread her legs a bit and ran her hands up the insides of her thighs and said "mmmm, it was nice cumming with him baby". I told her I'd loved watching and she smiled and asked me "are you horny?" to which I just replied "is calculus hard? of course". When she smiled back at me and just said "good", I realized that this was likely all I was going to have with her sexually - it almost felt like I was being dismissed. Sure enough, a moment later she said "if you want to jerk off, I'll watch..... you can look at me if you want..... but that's all baby".

And so - as my first true time as a fully denied cuckold, I lay there on the bed next to her and jerked off like crazy. And the really crazy part is that I loved it!!!! My cock was so hard as I started to stroke. She asked me to talk to her and I tried, at least at first, I told her how I loved what she'd done and all of that. She cooed "come on baby, let me see you now".

You know the rest - she teased, I replied - and wow - a few moments later did I ever cum!!!! She asked me afterwards if it was good and and if it was okay "instead of having me" and I told her honestly, that it was something I had wanted. She giggled and said "show me" which I knew was her wanting to watch me jerk off.

As I stroked away I asked her if I could look at her and she giggled and smiled and she spread her legs, just a little at first but then seeing the intensity in me, she spread them further and even teased me as she ran a finger around her swollen pussy opening and she cooed at me at how much he cums at times! Well, that did it - hearing her tell me how she loved him cumming in her and the whole scene - I let go with a huge load that splattered all over my chest and stomach. I lay there expecting her to lean over and help clean me up when she said "let me see you do it". It took me a second to understand what she wanted - but then I realized - she wanted me to gather up all of my cum and for her to watch me clean it up. I smiled at what she wanted - and I let her watch as I pushed all of my cum into a bigger puddle and then let her watch as I licked my fingers clean each time.

I knew she wasn't going to want me to go down on her and I wasn't surprised when she asked me if I give her a night-shirt to put on. She sat up in bed and it was the first time I noticed just how hard and pointy her nipples were and they looked so hot under her shirt.

It seemed sort of anti-climactic in some ways as after we both got washed up and ready for bed, that we just got in and cuddled up.

This morning - it's weird to say it but for now, I like what we're doing and it's very intensely arousing to think about it.

Gotta run right now

 

[SoonToBe]

I think I may have missed a bit more after I asked if I could look at her. In addition to teasing me about how much he cums, she pointedly asked me "do you like looking at the pussy you used to fuck?" amongst other things.

Damn I'm hard again already.

 

[far2easy]

I'm glad you all are enjoying this new stage in your relationship. Seems like it might be just perfect for all of you, each getting what you want out of it. I bet Sue was crazy hot while you jerked off for her! She seems to be loving pushing your beta side, wonder where she will go with that next. And while I love the blow-by-blow, I really love the discussions after the fact! I'm sure you will have some more to add on that side of it, can't wait! I'd have my dick sore from jerking off if i were you!