Raks said:
Thanks for the explanation Rick. It is good that both of you discuss it out before she takes a step in any such direction. What I was asking was something different, as you have mentioned it many times that she is one man woman. So when she is with you she is yours body and spirit. Now please explain that if that is the case, how come she was looking for greener pastures before giving you ample time (even she herself was worried about it, so please do not say that time was enough for you). So if she really cares about you why did she even raise the topic? Was Maury's attraction so magnetic to your beloved wife, that she (although guilt ridden) did not think that discussing Maury with you would in fact cut her time with you. I am just wondering because it seems cruel to me. I know you wouldn't agree with me, but that's what I have to say. If you ask her to stop seeing Maury I am sure she would, but would she be disappointed? I am sure she would be. But was she disapointed when her time with you was cut short because of Maury. No, instead of being disappointed, r she brought the whole thing out in open enthusiastically on her own with you so that she could belong to him rather than reward you for your pateince that you kept while she was with Ramiro (Again my own personal perception)
And I was wondering if it would ever happen in reverse that she might get attracted to you or may be tempted to make love to you while she is being one man's woman to another man? Let me make it clear that I am not casting doubts on Brenda's committment to you, but what happens if her affair with Maury goes on and on without an end in sight or say for a longer period of say more than a year or so? What if she never tires of him (Yes I know she loves you and all) in bedroom? Are you willing to reliquish it completly ? Forever ?
All interesting questions... You were wondering why Brenda first brought up that she met Maury, knowing where things could lead? Well, I wouldn't have it any other way! We have a "no secrets" rule in our marriage. This was something that happened in her day, so she mentioned it to me. Why would she hide it?
As for her being "cruel," Brenda already knows that I really get off on her adventurous side. Besides, she also knows that I am her "rock," and that I am not going anywhere. On the other hand, if she gets the hots for some guy, it is an opportunity that has a certain "window," which may likely slip away if she doesn't pursue it. So, if we both agree, the pursues it, knowing that I will be there for her when she finishes.
I can't explain it better than that, except to say that Brenda doesn't always pursue sexual relationships with guys she finds attractive. A couple of months ago, for example, she met a young guy she though was "cute," and mentioned it to me. I also gave her the "go ahead" with him, but she didn't take it any further.
As for what would happen if Brenda never tires of Maury? Hmmm, I'm not sure, but that would be out of character for her. I know that if, hypothetically, the relationship went on with "no end in sight," I would eventually reach a point where I exercised my right to have her end it. That's never happened before, though I came close with that situation with David awhile back. David had crossed the line and wanted Brenda to leave me while I was away on business. I flew home ready to deal with the situation, but Brenda had already cut things off with him. So, I never have had to exercise my "end it" option.
What would be my limit? I'm not sure, but I'm guessing I couldn't go more than a year before really feeling the need to reconnect with Brenda sexually. I have a feeling that Brenda would feel the need to reconnect with me long before that.
Rick