Well good morning to everyone.
I read the comments from Grinch and T and while I sort of agreed with some of what they'd said, I took it up with Sue last night.
Actually it was the comment on now it being 2 days without sex instead of just 1 that got me going in terms of talking to Sue. So I asked her point blank when it became 2 days instead of just 1. She laughed at me and said she was just teasing me and that she thought it was something I liked her doing and wanted to experience - she told me that she thought I'd said that was something I enjoyed experiencing, her asking me to not have sex with her in the time before she's meeting her partner (Brad in the past and now Don).
That led us to talk pretty openly about all of this. And I guess what I'm not clearly conveying in my posts here is that while I do have concerns, I am also incredibly turned on by what she's doing.
I told her that I was a bit uncomfortable about her having told Don all of what went on in the time she was involved with Brad - that it seemed to me like she wasn't letting this new relationship grow on its own but that she wanted it to resume where she'd left off with Brad. And at that I reminded her that Don is not Brad and that I had concerns as Grinch and T indicated that we don't know all that much about Brad.
So - Sue explained that yes, Don has been with other married women including one who's husband knew about what was going on. But she also made it very clear to me that this is going to be the first time when the husband, me in this case, is actually going to be there and be a part of whatever happens. She explained that Don's former partner had her husbands permission but that he never participated or did anything with them as a 3-some (sex or otherwise) and that Don wasn't totally at ease with coming to our house and on top of that, me being there and even being a part of it. Sue said she felt she had to tell him some of what went on with Brad so that he would just be more comfortable in general. She did admit that maybe she shouldn't have shared all of it - and she admitted to me that maybe some of what she shared did put me in a weird/bad light.
I asked her what she thought she wanted from Don. Her first, immediate, reply was "sex". I was surprised at how she just came out and said it and she said "he's really good.... with me...". And then a second later she asked "you are okay with that, right?". I took a second and then said "yes - I'm okay" and mentally it just reinforced what I seem to still find it hard to accept - that I definitely am a cuckold.
I continued by telling her that I was a bit concerned at how Don was treating her and how she may be feeeling about him. She looked at me and said "it's not the same as with Brad - I don't feel an emotional bond with Don" and then she added "not yet at least". So that was a relief.
But then she started in asking me questions. Didn't I want her to do this? Didn't I want her to tease me? Deny me at times? Flaunt her sex with Don since I'd said it turned me on?
I told her that I was feeling some of the same insecurities I felt early on with Brad and she just said "that worked out okay, right? You know I won't hurt you, so lets just see how this works out, okay?" She then said stuff about her being more comfortable with Don in that it's just sex between them and she made it a point to say she felt good about it just being sex at this point. And she added that she feels that if I wanted her to do more of the teasing/flaunting/denying - which I admitted that I did - that she felt she'd be more at ease doing it with Don than with Brad as she feels a more physical attraction to Don.
We talked about tomorrow night and them coming here. She told me again what the "plan" was and I asked her more about if that's really what she is hoping will happen. She said yes - that if I want to be a part of it, then she does want it. But if I don't - either want to be a part of it or want to be there at all - that she does still want to be with Don tomorrow night.
She then shared with me how she felt about all this teasing and denial stuff that I'd sort of pushed out into the open. She said she felt very uneasy about all of that back when she was with Brad but that in the past few months or so, that she'd seen another side of that and that she'd begun to enjoy being on the "control" side (as she put it). She said initially she had been turned off by my asking for that - but that she'd not begun to enjoy it - to enjoy seeing my arousal and my clear enjoyment of her actions. And then she shared something that I swear, when I heard it, I both nearly came in my pants as well as just felt something incredibly arousing inside me - she looked at me and just said "I want to do it in our bed.". She apologized right away but said that it was something she wanted to experience - she said stuff about "making it real" that way - that everytime we go to bed that she'll think and know what she's done. She asked me if I was going to be okay with that - and all I could do was tell her in a creaky voice "yes".
By this time we were both VERY turned on - just her saying that she wanted to fuck Don in our bed made my cock go rock hard. I don't even think we had any foreplay - within minutes we were fucking.
With it all out in the open she was totally into it and again, thank god the A/C was on in the house and the windows were closed - and thank god our son was lost in his world in the basement so no one heard her screaming in orgasm as we fucked away. I came violently in her (it felt that way) when she said "just think, in 2 more days it'll be Don on top of me here instead of you".
After we were done and lying there afterwards she rolled to me and said "you can say no to me at any time you know?". And after I told her that I was okay and that I wanted her to do it she said that she would still like one night of no-sex before she see's Don, but that if I truly wanted her on Wednesdays, that she wouldn't say no.
So - that's it. We missed Conan and the Tonight Show with all our talks and we fell asleep.
I know there are a lot of risks and unknowns but I have to say - I AM A CUCK and I do want her to do this stuff. I didn't tell her but it was a big turn-on hearing her ask for 2 nights without sex before she sees Don. The idea of them fucking in our bed is such a turn-on. When she said that last night - that it turned her on, it felt so good to hear it from her - that it's something she wants.
I'm sure that we're going to have a lot more talking to do tonight - I still didn't get from her what she thought she wanted out of her relationship with him other than sex - but I'll take what I heard for now.
Gotta get back to work. Sorry if all this sounds crazy but I do want to see her go wild with him if she wants it. I think if you could know and see and hear her since she moved ahead with Don, you'd understand how it seems that this seems to be something she needs to have - she is on such an up about all of this it's hard to think otherwise.
