She Is His

[SoonToBe]

Peak - you have it somewhat correct. I will admit it did feel lonely at times, but it wasn't when we were in the condo and they were in their room and I was in mine - actually I felt it more when we were out for drinks and the 2 of them were into dancing and that sort of stuff. I will also share that I think there's a limit to the amount of sex a person can witness at once, at times seeing or hearing them was perhaps a bit over the top. But then again, it did get her to what she has been pushing me for now for a long time - to accept that this is what I want and to try to step back and find the enjoyment I want in it rather than finding the bad parts.

I do agree she played last night magnificently and I do not know honestly what her ultimate motivations were in relieving me as she did - and to be honest, I'm not sure if she actually knows or if it just felt like the right thing at the right time. She has said that Paul has told her that if she wants to be with me, that she should - but I think she told me that to reassure me that he isn't pushing her for any of this rather than to reinforce that it is definitely her that wants to push my beta-ness.

I will be honest and say that the weekend surely got my juices flowing too and that I feel far hornier now, 5 days later, than I could imagine. I can surely understand my frustrations last year given that I can say that I did feel a bit of desire for her yesterday. I will go with the positive - that she heard and understood that despite jerking off continuously that I still felt a physical need - and I can surely report that she satisfied that part of it. For now, as she's pushed me to think - I'll focus on these next few days as again, he will be here Saturday night.

 

[pmandt]

Up late and saw pmandt's question.

I think it's quite clear - of course in the midst of sex - how else can you be but loving and intimate.
.
My comments are about the other 50% of the time they're together (lol) where they're not in the midst of sex - that is where, at least from what I see and have now seen up close - that there's not the kind of close whispery lovey-dovey doe-eyed stares between them.

Thanks for the response, and I accept that. It appears though that when they're not having sex they are into each other, watching tv and caressing each other, while you're sort of ...just there, or wandering off to find you something to pass the time. On the ski trip they were basically dating, dancing, etc. Now they may be going out dancing on a real date at home. Doesn't this give you pause?

Another question: Before the trip you mentioned several times that she was wearing panties and she gave you reasons why. So why were you surprised (or disappointed) when she wore them after the trip? Were there discussions that weren't posted, or did I simply miss them?
Thank you for sharing your story. I hope this works out well for you.

 

[SoonToBe]

I suppose you have a point there - that there is plenty of time when they are "into each other". I just don't feel it as an issue and from how she seems about it, I think she feels the same way. For example - I know they text a bit with each other during the week - but she's let me see the messages and it's never about anything really other than sex - she'll have texted him today and been suggestive about tomorrow when he'll be here and I've seen his banter back and forth with her - some is quite explicit - but most is just "can't wait" and "horny today" as well as sync-ing up times and such.

I do know that when she goes to his place that they do go out - yes as on a date - and I know that there and at other times there's obviously more to their conversation than their next fuck - but at the same time - I simply never see or hear her refer to him in a way that makes me feel concerned. If anything, I am actually surprised at times that she is literally there just for sex with him - but at the same time - was there really more to it back in high-school - so if this is what she wants - then so far - it's actually quite interesting to see.

 

[SoonToBe]

Regarding her and panties - it was more I was hoping to see her naked more after the trip for my own selfish purposes... lol
I understood her explanations for both before and after - I don't think she fully understood how it felt to me or how it tweaked my denial fetish even further.

 

[SoonToBe]

We just got back from a great day together - we left earlier this morning and went hiking for about a 10-mile loop. At one point she laughed about having 2 weekends in a row exercising and I joked back that she was right. She got my inkling and playfully punched me. It did feel good hiking and forcing myself to not see her as my sexual partner now. She admitted herself to me that she actually likes being together even more now that there's not some kind of sexual pressure on us. We actually talked a lot as we walked/hiked and she said that even every other week had made it seem like some kind of obligation between us to have sex and I told her that it did feel good and different to not have that between us right now.

We talked more last night and I actually asked her about how wearing panties made her feel around me. She said that wearing them makes her feel more secure in what we're doing and I told her that I didn't care about seeing her naked if she was worrying about turning me on and then not doing anything more. She said that was nice and that she knew that but she also admitted that wearing them made it more erotic for her in some ways and she admitted that it kept her own hands/fingers away and I joked that it was like a chastity belt and she giggled and said in a way I was right. But as we talked she made sure that I understood that he wearing them after we'd been away was very much her desire to prolong the afterglow and the feeling of being his. I told her it was erotic and that it turned me on that it caused me to pay much more attention to her.

She also told me something else she'd begun telling me this on our way up to skiing and she continued it last night. She told me that she felt wonderful after the weekend with Paul and I told her that I knew that. She giggled and said that she'd surely had enough sex and she even said that she wasn't sure she could even cum any more by the time we were heading home. But what she continued to tell me was that she liked, actually loved, how she felt afterwards and specifically - how "tired my pussy feels afterwards" like it's been exercising. I laughed at her and told her "well, it is a muscle and you were surely exercising a lot!". She lay against me and sighed that she liked that she could share her thoughts like that with me and I told her that I liked hearing that and that it let me know more about how she felt than what I assumed. She turned to me and kissed me and then turned back away and spooned up and she told me that she wasn't sure how she could say this to me but she felt she could and she told me that she likes how she can "still feel it from being with him" sometimes a day or two later and that was also why she liked wearing panties last week as she did. She pulled my hand up to her mouth and kissed it and then pulled me into a hug and she whispered that she felt "so weird" telling me that "but I love you so much I want you to know how I'm feeling". I hugged her back and I told her that I was probably sure it was how I could remember feeling how my cock would sometimes feel sore and 'used' after a long weekend with her. She giggled and said that she liked that she know how I felt and that she wondered if Paul sometimes felt that way. I pulled her to me and I kissed the back of her neck and I told her I was quite sure that Paul would say yes.

Anyway -she's in the shower right now getting ready for him to be here in another hour or two.

 

[far2easy]

sounds like you are having a wonderful time being each other’s partners in life. I hope you enjoy the show tonight and get to help clean up and play your role! Sounds tasty!

 

[digger7275]

Hope you all enjoyed the night
.
Since your acceptance of being more beta for Sue. It might appear that you might not mind if things progressed outside of the bedroom.

You were going to make the spare bedroom their "playroom". Wouldn't it be more appropriate for you to move in there. Since Paul is the "man of the house" for the present.

 

[digger7275]

If you and Sue are feeling good. Would it make sense that Sue spends more time with Paul. Either at your house or his place. I think that would increase your angst. Which you enjoy. Maybe time will tell.
Good luck to all.
Digger

 

[SoonToBe]

Only have a few minutes right now as he's still here - and to be very honest - I want to watch him fuck her one last time before he leaves.
Last night was interesting - she continues to surprise me. Before he got here last night she asked me if I liked what we'd done when we were all away - yes, cleaning her up. When I said 'yes' she said that "you should ask Paul if you want to do it again". I couldn't believe what she'd said. But she told me "he knows... he doesn't mind" and then she added "I told him that I think you should ask to do it if you want to".

Needless to say, I swallowed my pride (not all that I swallowed) and when they were going up to our bedroom last night Sue said that I could "come up and watch" if I wanted. She smiled at me as she said that and I knew what she was pushing - as we'd talked - she's kept harping that I should accept that I'm beta. When I joined them in the bedroom a little bit later they'd already gotten naked and were getting into things already. As I came into the room she smiled and said out loud "I'm glad you came in baby...." as she went back to kissing him and stroking his cock a bit. She was rubbing the head of his cock up and down between her pussy lips when I said it. I think she was as surprised as I was much less Paul - but I managed to say "when you guys are done, I'd like to clean her up again". I said it softly but they both heard me and it was Paul who turned to me - holding his body away from her but letting me see his cock clearly in her - and he said to me "sure, when I'm done" and as I watched he pushed into her and they both softly moaned out loud.

Let me finish later - I just heard them coming up and in the bathroom now so I want to go watch.

 

[digger7275]

Very much appreciated update, Steve.

Off to the Philly Pops then home to watch game. I'm not an avid fan more like get on the bandwagon.

I'm happy to hear Paul scored before the Eagles!!! You ALL scored!!!

I'll be looking forward to your next post. That would decrease the pain of an Eagles losss.

 

[peakmb]

Well Digger, as a Brit I don't usually get excited by American Football (as we call it), but that was a great game. You must be a happy man. Go Eagles.

 

[digger7275]

Peakmb, Thanks, it was an exciting game!! A lot of happy people here.

Steve, I meant no disrespect regarding the football analogy. Wondering how things turned out after Paul left. Did you clean Sue up? Sue seems very wise as to which buttons of yours to push. And when to push them. It seems to me Sue is only trying to make you understand and fully accept your true beta side. And embrace it. Again, I have no experience.

Looking forward to your next post.
Digger

 

[SoonToBe]

I have to share the conversation that Paul and I had. I did go up and watch them and as the door was open in the bedroom, I knew I was invited to. Digger as you have concluded as have others, I am genuinely trying to embrace the beta in me and watching her so with him was just beautiful - perhaps even more so now that I am truly an onlooker.

Just a moment about them together - I just love how she looks when she is eager to have him in her. The way she lay back against the headboard and slowly raised her knees and then spread them revealing herself to him - it's just beautiful to watch. Yes, I admit that it still feels like a stab deep inside me at times especially when she is truly visibly aroused for him - but at the same time I just get off so on seeing her like that - almost like seeing the animal inside her let loose.

But what I wanted to share while most of it is still fresh is the conversation that Paul and I had after he'd pounded at her for a while and then, as she said, after she'd cum at least 3 or 4 times, she just lay back and let him fuck her until he pushed into her one last time and grunted. Whether he knew I was there or not, when he pulled out of her she lay there for a moment and then looked over and saw me and then smiled at me.

So I went back downstairs and left them alone for a bit more and I was in the kitchen having a cup of coffee when I heard footsteps and I was surprised when it was just Paul. He walked by and the stepped back and said "oh there you are" and he walked into the kitchen. It was awkward for a bit until I said simply "she enjoys being with you... a lot" and that was all I said. He looked at me and said "she loves you a lot you know..." It sort of led into a conversation that was quite open with him at points. I'll try to recap as best as I have it.
s - oh - yeah - thanks.
p - no I mean it.
s - yeah - it's all good. it's kind of weird.... you know... talking about it...
p - yeah - she's been telling me...
p - gotta tell ya. it's not what I thought.
p - I gotta tell ya - I thought she was wanting something more.... you know....
s - huh? what do you mean?
p - this whole sex thing with just me....
p - but I"m kinda seeing it now.... she's been talking to me.
s - yeah - it's weird for me....
s - weird for me to tell you that it's what I want... weird for me to feel like this
p - but you want it, right? I mean she says that it's what you both want....
s - yeah... but...
p - (he interrupted me) - look - like I said, I thought it was weird
p - but.... she's kinda explained to me about this beta thing of yours
s - yeah.... like I said... it's just how I"m feeling right now....
p - no man - it's really cool. I mean I kind of get it.
s - well, you're being really cool about it all so... well.... I appreciate that.
p - but she's totally hooked on you - if anything she talks about you more now than ever before
p - so I just want you to know that
s - that's cool. like i said... maybe it'll get easier to talk some day
p - yeah - don't sweat it - I mean I"ll say it's different but I"m kinda used to it now and...
p - just saying - what she's been telling me - it's kinda cool
p - but man - don't be worrying about me
p - I don't but even if I wanted her - man - she's yours - her heart is yours

I think there might have been more somewhere in there but I can't remember exactly - just that he seemed to be pretty honest. I think it was just a few minutes but I"m no t really sure.

My brain was kinda racing around and I don't really recall how the conversation ended other than I know he said he had to be going and I asked him if he wanted a cup of coffee to go and he said no-thanks and we kinda shook hands and I told him to drive safe as the weather was turning.

So yes - when I went back up to the bedroom she asked me what was going on and I told her that Paul and I had just talked. She patted the bed and I sat next to her and we talked. I told her it was so erotic to me that she was naked and "just fucked" under the blankets right next to me. She smiled and told me that she loved me and that she loved that she was feeling how she was right then. I remembered about her saying how she liked feeling afterwards and I asked her if she would like it if I "went down there". She looked and me and took my hand in hers and she said "are you going to feel hurt if I say no?". I asked her "because you like how you feel now and how it feels to have had him" and she smiled and just said "yes". I looked at her for a moment and kissed her and I just said "you have no idea how horny it made me to hear you say that". She smiled at me and then said in a teasing voice "I'll let you look if you hand me those panties on my dresser over there" - and sure enough there was a pair of yellow ones sitting there. She smiled as she watched me as she pulled the cover down - revealing her breasts first. I do love how her nipples also look after sex - they're darker and more plump looking - plus I could tell she or he had been playing with them. I thought she would be quick about it but instead she took her time - pulling off the covers and then letting me see her turn to the side of the bed - spreading her legs as she did - and as she stepped into her panties I got to see all of her as she stood up. She pulled them almost up to her waist before taking a tissue and wiping herself off. "Sorry honey, but it's sooooooo sensitive right now".

 

[peakmb]

Ha. What a tease. So even after you grovelled a bit and had to ask Paul if you could ear her out afterwards, and after he said Yes, you still didn't get the pleasure. Sue must have been far more sensitive down there during the skiing weekend but she didn't stop Paul.

I can see that you are still in the high angst zone where you accept these slights and even see them as exciting. I suspect later you will see broken promises and denied expectations as something else. We shall see I suppose, but for now I'm glad you're enjoying it.

 

[pmandt]

"She admitted herself to me that she actually likes being together even more now that there's not some kind of sexual pressure on us. We actually talked a lot as we walked/hiked and she said that even every other week had made it seem like some kind of obligation between us to have sex..."
So, she dislikes sex so much with you that she constantly thought about having to deal with your cock. Damn. Guess she's elated she's never going to have to fuck it again. Of course, you no longer want to fuck her, so it all works out I suppose.

 

[digger7275]

You're a lucky man. Sue is a very smart woman.

From last month when you had to "present or give" her away to Paul. Like a marriage ceremony. Paul is now Sue's husband and you are now her Beta, or friend.Sue now has you ask in front of Paul if you can do the honors of cleaning her when they are done.
During your "alone" time without Paul. Sue wants you to admit how much you are enjoying letting her go sexually.
All of this verbalizing is to reinforce to You, and a lesser degree Paul of what your status really is
All the little snubs or rejections have been logical to me. And play into Sue's feelings of what she wants to feel now.
Everybody is on the same page so far. Great!
Thanks again Steve, for the details of your journey.
In the spirit of Sue's "buzz", and prolonging it. Any word of the changing the spare room into your room or Sue spending more time with Paul?
Looking again for more of how you're feeling.
Digger

 

[SoonToBe]

pmandt - gotta love you - you go for the extreme in everything. I don't believe I ever said that she disliked sex with me. So if you start off in the wrong place, you will continue to be on the wrong road.

Peak - I'll entertain a quick answer regarding her 'soreness' as being probably more to tweak me than for real, and regarding the weekend away - it was early in their/our evening that she let me indulge and clean her up - not after she'd let him have his way with her in the morning. I think you can't accept that I've found that I enjoy being beta for her and not expecting any sexual interaction between us right now.

I don't see any broken promises - I had no illusion that she was going to want or let me go down on her when I went back up to her on Sunday. I would have if she would have offered, but I also well knew - and she confirmed - that afterwards, after he leaves, that is when she actually least wants any sexual attention from me. And honestly, I did want to hear her tell me.

Digger - thanks. As I said, it just feels right what we're doing right now. I can't say it any other way - especially after the attempted conversation with Paul - definitely left me feeling good and better overall about everything. We haven't talked more about changing anything in our home just yet but I think it's coming as she has again said that she wants to talk about how she can get together with him more often.

 

[digger7275]

Two things.
First, I find a little humor in your "attempted conversations" with Paul. Don't think there's a book of etiquette on that situation. I'm sure it'll work itself out. Try humor.
Second, remember Sue is teaching Paul how to interact with you also. As she excises any alpha feelings you may have left.
Your my hero but jealous of how good your situation is.

 

[StudCaptM]

STB, were they more playful before going to bed in front of you? I know Sue said she wanted to feel more open with Paul, just wondering?

 

[pmandt]

pmandt - gotta love you - you go for the extreme in everything. I don't believe I ever said that she disliked sex with me.

Thanks for love. I need all I can get!
I don't think you said it either. And dislike is probably not the word I should have used. Averse maybe. Disinclined to have sex perhaps. Whatever, she no longer wants to have sex with you. She said "that even every other week had made it seem like some kind of obligation between us to have sex", and I don't think she meant that in a favorable way. You said "she started to tell me that now, after just a month or so of excluding me, that she feels it IS what she's wanted and needed" meaning I'm sure denying you. She also said, referring to her pussy "it just feels like it's his". She no longer has the desire for you she once had. She said "her desires are changing and admitted that it was distracting for her to have let me have sex with her as much as she did"
On your hike the conversation inferred that it was nice not to have "sexual pressure on us". My wife and I have enjoyed many non-sexual activities together without feeling "sexual pressure". It's odd that you guys would feel that way, unless unwanted sex was on her mind.
And it's obvious that she's very happy to have cut you off. I'm tired of quoting, but you've commented on how happy she is with how this is working out.

I'd like to add that, like a previous poster, you were my hero at one time. I remember your first posts, and I was so envious of your earlier adventures. But I'm not a sub, or beta, or whatever you're wanting to be. I just wanted to share my wife. I do respect that you have different desires
Thanks for listening, and I wish you the best.