New Year, New Thread

[SquirmingSub]

Steve,

It is good to see your posting again after all the expressive posting by all of us. Good to hear that everything is moving along and that the two of you are going to be clarifying a variety of aspects of each of you see things and were you two are going with this. It is also good to hear that you are OK with Sue going to see Paul on Valentines Day.

 

[raksdeer]

LOL - I have thick skin by this time here.

Great...you need to do that. LOL!

AND we will always be pestering you. You need to see the intent STB. I hope we "The gloomers and doomers" as you term us are not doing a bad job

Do I want her to deny me more? If yes, for how long? All things that seem easy to ask but are harder to answer. But for those who are concerned - the fact that we are talking about all of this - and that she is limiting her time with Paul to just once a week and for not that long - I think it all says a lot that she is concerned too and wants to be sure it's all going okay.

It's "not for that long" phrase that is really important. Be kind and share with us the details of this part atleast. An end date might be a very good thing right now, even better is Sue's effort to reconnect and your ability to enjoy things with her.

 

[wingman]

This is the second forum in as many weeks where the OP has been flamed so bad they stopped posting! Would it be too much to ask for strong negative comments to be sent via PM? That way, the rest of us don't have to suffer the fallout of folks hammering the op to excess. Even if you mean well, after 10-15 negative comments in a row, the impacts magnifies beyond what was intended. So how about it??

 

[peakmb]

Don't confuse cause and effect wingman. It's bad logic.

 

[SquirmingSub]

It would seem my early post is pending moderator approval.

 

[SquirmingSub]

Don't confuse cause and effect wingman. It's bad logic.

Peak,

You are saying to Wingman not to confuse cause and effect, as you are saying that it’s bad logic. While I would agree that there is a cause and effect in everything we do and say, I would also agree that many do walk a fine line between being supportive and blunt while others while that fine line between blunt and flaming when they do not see what they want to see.

This is the second forum in as many weeks where the OP has been flamed so bad they stopped posting! Would it be too much to ask for strong negative comments to be sent via PM? That way, the rest of us don't have to suffer the fallout of folks hammering the op to excess. Even if you mean well, after 10-15 negative comments in a row, the impacts magnifies beyond what was intended. So how about it?? ��

Not meaning to stir the pot although Wingman is correct and you even in Steve’s most recent post essentially indicated that Steve was restricting his own remarks for fear of being flamed. I believe he was primarily speaking of those that are typically being the “gloom and doom” responders.

I won't share what we talked about for fear of being flamed some more here but I can say that we have reinforced that we are both getting more satisfaction out of my using condoms than would be if I were not

We ALL have shared our perspective on how we have seen things over the last year between Steve, Sue & Paul. Yes some of our perspectives have been supportive, some have been doom & gloom and yes some could be very much considered flamed. As you know, you are on some of the same sites that Wingman and I are also on. A place were Steve also post from time to time. So yes, there is a cause and effect and while many might say that the our respective response was to what Steve post, we all should understand that Steve could simply stop posting such details and or stop posting completely if he continues to feel as if he was being flamed. So has Wingman stated “Even if you mean well, after 10-15 negative comments in a row, the impacts magnifies beyond what was intended.”

Just maybe, we all should back off and reflect ourselves before we continue to provide an aggressive perspective in response to what Steve post.

 

[peakmb]

Squirm,
I know you jumped on this for the best reasons. Your support of Steve (ironically apart from one a few days ago) have shown nothing but support. Literally. Nothing. But support.

I have been posting on Steve's threads for years now. Longer than most here and if you trace it back the vast majority have been supportive. I have though continually said what I thought was right. Sometimes Steve agreed with me, sometimes not. I believe strongly he posts here for the varied responses he gets. Finally all of it may get stale and he will stop. I believe that will be because he wants that not because he tires of the flames. His last fifteen months of posting is riddled with contradictions of both his and Sue's previous beliefs. I could paste two pages of his previous quotes but it would be boring to read just to make one point. If I'm trying to anything it is to get Steve to decide which way to settle. I'll say no more until he gets back into the flow.

 

[SquirmingSub]

Peak - Thank you for your thoughtful reply.

 

[iome343]

But yes, she is going to see him on Sunday, yes, for Valentines Day. It's a holiday that means a lot more to her than me and she said that she would like to do it as her Valentines gift to Paul - and yes too that it's for me too in that she said she wants to share with me when she gets home. How could I and why would I say no?

I think that Valentines Day is for lovers, non for sexual partners.
Is not a problem for you?

 

[raksdeer]

I think that Valentines Day is for lovers, non for sexual partners.
Is not a problem for you?

No...after all sexual connect is not everything. In fact, giving up sexual connect would deepen the emotional connect. Even on Valentine's day...!

 

[SquirmingSub]

Let us all realize that Valentines Day is a Hallmark Holiday. Holds more value to some than it does for others.

 

[Knk069]

Steve,
Thank you for continuing your posting about your incredible journey into and through the cuckold/beta lifestyle. You give us all something to think about as we either ponder the lifestyle or live it ourselves. I am glad to see that Sue has tapped the brakes a bit and you two are working out the rough spots. Next weekend will be good for you two. I hope the snow is good.

My fellow readers,
Let's give Steve a break. We all started sounding alarm bells recently. He considered our viewpoints when he confronted Sue with the issues and now they are working out a mutually agreeable path forward. We should all be so lucky to have a wife that cares enough to work with him to make him happy in his desires. So let's all go grab some popcorn at the concession stand, sit back, and watch the rest of this great movie!

 

[SoonToBe]

Not a lot and yet a lot to post about but no time.
But going back to Peak's earlier post - yes, sometimes getting flamed or being told I'm crazy or stupid - it is all part of why I post here. Believe me, some of those posts have influenced me and made me reconsider my desires at times.
Regarding Valentines Day, I don't know that they (Sue and Paul) attached any significance to it being Valentines day vs. just being them wanting to have some fun this week in light of what Sue admits is her limiting things with Paul until she and I both feel we are in a clear/comfortable place again. I will say that much of our discussion in the past day or so since Thursday evening, has circled around basically what others here have posted - what do I want as a beta? what do I want to feel? what do I expect to give up? what do I expect to not give up? And Sue certainly has he own opinions on this too, actually surprising herself more than me at how "alpha" she says she feels. And yes, what do we want in terms of denial and how do I/we want that to feel for both of us. There too, Sue has come out with surprisingly strong feelings about things as well as what she attaches significance to. But one thing, there has been no disagreement on how we feel about each other and how much fun it is, even though not always comfortable or enjoyable, but it truly is fun to feel that we can actually talk about all of this to find a way to, essentially, continue making it work for us.

 

[dana007]

STB
Great update, and keep us posted on any change's.

 

[SoonToBe]

Well, she is at his place right now and is supposed to be back any time now. She asked me just before she left after lunch if I was okay with her going to see him and she told me that "this can be part of my Valentines present" from me to her, that she is going to go have some fun with Paul. Of course last night she also told me that she was his present today too.

I can only share a little right now as I went out and bought her some flowers before she gets home, I know she'll like that I was thinking about her in more than one way while she was out.

We've been talking a lot and she's said several things that have, as I said, struck me a bit more than I thought they would. She said that when I came out to her with my beta thoughts that she was very confused but now thinks she can find some clarity in things, especially since we've been talking. She's coming to understand that my beta feelings aren't ones that I can fulfill myself but ones that she now understands she wants to help fulfill. As we've talked she's truly come out and said that she should be more sexual with me but at the same time, to give me more of the beta feeling I want, she admits that she has to learn to tease me and at the same time satisfy me mentally and emotionally if not physically. What we have talked about is what I want to feel and she's been wonderful about getting me to try to express myself. It's not easy to find the words to tell her how it feels so good and deeply satisfying to me that she can let herself go even more with Paul. She says that she wants to feel secure with me and that's part of what she needs to feel so she said when I was upset, she felt the need to make sure it's working between us before she resumes things with Paul and that she joked with me that she "can't just cut him off while we work on this stuff".

She also admitted that she is truly coming to enjoy what she says is "controlling what I do" and she says that even now sometimes it's still hard for her to know and tell herself that she doesn't need to make herself available to me if she sees that I am horny. She says it's because she loves me and I told her that in a way it tells me that too because I know she cares about pleasing me. She smiled and then added "but now I know it turns you on" and she said that she is enjoying knowing that and also said that she's enjoying sometimes telling Paul what she wants. I laughed at her and said maybe she's the alpha and that was when she agreed and said that it was fun and then hugged me and kissed me and said "see, we change together baby, we're meant to be together" and I think she meant it. I know she said all along she had curiosity and desires to do 3-somes when we first started and to go out with other guys, but I don't think either she or I saw us coming to where we are now, but she's right, as both of our desires have changed over the years, we've both moved along with it - whether her for me or me for her. Many of our friends tell us that's one thing they always see in us, that neither of us resists what the other wants and that they can all tell we love each other. Like some years I want a ski trip and others, like a few back now, she wanted a warm place like Jamaica. If they only knew that extended into the bedroom, they'd flip out.

So - I have flowers and 2 bottles of champagne waiting and a valentines card as well as a fire in the fireplace for us - some scallops wrapped in bacon appetizers and then some steaks on the grill before we rendezvous in the bedroom. I feel sort of alpha-ish. And at the same time it is going to drive me crazy all through dinner as she's already told me I have to wait until after dinner to have her, that all through dinner she'll be sitting there wet from Paul. She asked me "would that be something that would turn you on as a beta?" and I think my eyes gave it away before I nodded my head yes and she smiled and said "good, this will be fun for us".

It's 3:30pm now so I'm going to hit send now and then go wait for her. I'm so horny, we cuddled up after we'd talked last night and she'd reached behind her and felt my hard-cock and moved it to a more comfortable position for her and then cooed back me as she snuggled against me that "you'll be really ready for tomorrow" so I know that even though she's with him now, that she's been thinking about me too.

 

[far2easy]

Enjoy your evening STB! Here's to a cream filled pussy treat with cuck condom love-making!

 

[wingman]

Don't confuse cause and effect wingman. It's bad logic.

When it comes to logic, I am never confused. Berating someone who has opened up his most intimate world for us is not logical, unless the goal is to have him stop.
That said, I VERY much appreciate of the civil discussion that has occurred over the last 2 pages!
Props to everyone who replied, and I thank all for being considerate to Steve and to making this a better experience for all.
I agree that our opinions and suggestions help Steve out (as he has stated), and I don't mean for anyone to stop posting suggestions. I was just concerned as I saw the tone take a direction similar to other boards that have gone down that nasty rabbit hole, to a place where everyone is ripping each other, and the OP, apart! Became no fun for anyone.

Steve, as another long time reader, we got ur back bud!!!

 

[peakmb]

Wingman,
Like everyone else here what I really want to read here is how Steve faired over the weekend, how he feels now and what he thinks about his and Sue's future together.

That's what I want to read but it seems you can't just let it go. Just one point on logic. It's pure. To be valid only one conclusion can flow from your premise. To assume the first part was inflammatory was your view only. To assume it's only purpose was to stop Steve was your view. Consider the possibility that it was carefully considered to be provacative. To perhaps make him think. To pause before committing himself ever deeper. To take full stock of where he is and then to go the same path if that is really what he wants and what he thinks will work with Sue too.

There's more than one way of covering his back. That's my way. You have another. Squirmy has another and so on. Every so often one of us will give Steve a small grain of sand that will help him to think about what to do. Not much in the wall of his life but it's there. Whose grain resonates is up to him. As always.

 

[wingman]

Wingman,
Like everyone else here what I really want to read here is how Steve faired over the weekend, how he feels now and what he thinks about his and Sue's future together.

That's what I want to read but it seems you can't just let it go. Just one point on logic. It's pure. To be valid only one conclusion can flow from your premise. To assume the first part was inflammatory was your view only. To assume it's only purpose was to stop Steve was your view. Consider the possibility that it was carefully considered to be provacative. To perhaps make him think. To pause before committing himself ever deeper. To take full stock of where he is and then to go the same path if that is really what he wants and what he thinks will work with Sue too.

There's more than one way of covering his back. That's my way. You have another. Squirmy has another and so on. Every so often one of us will give Steve a small grain of sand that will help him to think about what to do. Not much in the wall of his life but it's there. Whose grain resonates is up to him. As always.

I thought I did let it go with my last post(??). If you feel otherwise, lets take this up via a PM exchange and not bother everyone on the thread.
My last comment on this topic here will be to clarify that my initial request was always about how the group as a whole "might" be perceived by Steve (given his statement about withholding for fear of negative reprisal), and not about the postings of any individual. My request was not directed at anything you posted, so sorry if you took it that way. Also, my statement about having Steve's back was in no way meant to diminish the fact that others do as well. I simply chose that moment to let Steve know about me.

 

[peakmb]

Ok. Let's wait for the man....