Raks - to be honest, yes, but it's in a good way. Your feedback, negative or otherwise has given me/us pause for time to think and sort things out. However, I don't want to rain on your parade there because we have still been talking and both of us do want to continue, cautiously, but to continue exploring more of what we have admittedly both now found quite arousing.
We have both agreed that my taking the beta role with her is something that we both still want to do. She's made it quite clear to me that she is enjoying what she now recognizes as the alpha role sexually between us and also with Paul. But she's now aware that even though I may choose to be the beta for her, that I do still have needs, emotional and sexual that I need to share and relieve with her. We've discussed the condom use too at length now and she is fairly adamant now that she totally enjoys what using them does to us sexually, enforcing my beta role, but she also admits that it is much of what makes the sex with Paul so intense. I say she is adamant about it because at one point she actually turned to me (and I guess I'd pushed it a bit) but she actually said "it's my vagina, I'll share it with who and however I want". It was exciting to see her get so stern with me and I told her so. It is the subsequent conversations from there that led to me sharing with her that I enjoyed her taunting me with things like I'd mentioned from Wednesday night - even if they aren't even being considered, she understands that in the heat of the moment that it really turns me on to hear her say things like that. And she also has teased that "sometimes some might come true!".
But the other side of it is that she has been much more demonstrative with me too - her initiating hugging and cuddling and touching, even if not sexual. I've told her that is some of what I think we both need to feel in order to let things continue sexually with her and Paul.
Anyway - gotta run - Sue's about to finish up work and I'm picking her up on the way.