KS,
I disagree with a lot of comments from others, especially George. That's not to say he's wrong and I'm right -- we all have our different preferences, and what matters are your preferences, not mine. I don't get into George's servitude thing, but if you, Min-Ju, and KA do, that's great.
Were it me, the most I could possibly ask for is (1) that the experience be mind-blowingly exciting for her (which means that KA has to feel that he's getting the best sex he ever has had), (2) that she fully share the experience, including her feelings before, during (to the extent possible) and after, and (3) that she indulge my sexual quirks to whatever extent she is able without interfering with point (2). Everything you've said indicates that this is the path you're on. The key is finding the sweet spot that is exciting to both you and Min-Ju, and it seems that you are remarkably compatible (but, surely, compromises will need to be made -- and you, being an incredibly lucky bastard, should be prepared to make most of them).
About "keeping jealousy under control", I think there are two different kinds of jealousy: sexual and romantic. I'm guessing that your desires are really driven by sexual jealousy, so, really, I hope that Min-Ju MAXIMIZES that, and that you don't discourage her from doing so. You may only do this once, so go for maximum intensity for both of you. You should savor every detail that you see and every aching second that you have to wait, caged, while they experience sexual pleasure that goes beyond anything physical pleasure you have had with Min-Ju.
In my experience, I found that I lacked imagination, so the more I could directly witness what was happening with my wife and the other man, the stronger the feelings. But I couldn't directly experience my wife's feelings, so I needed to have her tell me about those. It seems that Min-Ju understands you very well, and having her impose her will on you is more exciting to you than having her do what you ask her to do, so, to the extent that you can passively wait for her to make the decisions, it will be more exciting to you.
The excitement of volunteering to leave my own home for a hotel would be nothing compared with the sensory impact of seeing them together in private, exhibiting their sexual pairing, things that you're programmed to feel belong to you and her alone. And that pales by comparison to seeing them head off to the bedroom together, hearing them showering together, and perhaps hearing them making love, or seeing her naked or in something sexy for him, not you.
And directly witnessing how much sex they are having (if you can't witness the act itself). Having her focused on the other man would be a turn-on not because I had a masochistic desire to be ignored, but because it would be another sign of her overwhelming sexual desire for him.
Seeing your wife extremely aroused and excited by the prospected of sleeping with another man, seeing her communicate this non-verbally to him (naturally, not play acting for you), having him act as though he were entitled to this (and you're not), knowing that they have disappeared into the bedroom for hours at a time, etc. would be as humiliating as it can get, without "announcements", volunteering to leave the apartment, etc. The explicit play-acting seems a little fake, compared with the realities I've mentioned. Remove yourself from the picture if she wants you to, but I think volunteering to do so (beyond ensuring that she knows it's ok to do if she feels the need) may deprive you of some extreme pleasures of a unique experience.
Anyway, I don't want to impose my fantasies on you. If you *really* get into volunteering to move out for awhile, and it's more exciting to think about them possibly screwing at home while you're not there, compared with your *knowing* that they went to another room for that express purpose, more power to you. If KA happens to get a thrill from ordering you around or dominating you, that's great. Maybe Min-Ju has briefed him in this and they both have plans for you -- that would be great for everyone. But it's more likely that his main desire is to fuck Min-Ju's brains out and that he doesn't want to devote much mental energy to you -- it might be a turn-off for him. If you're lucky, he'll tolerate your being around if you stay out of the way and don't bug him and Min-Ju while they enjoy themselves. If you're a benign presence, maybe he'll even treat you as a friendly acquaintance.
Oh: About romantic jealousy. You really don't want to go there. That's when you feel that you're not a team. That she's interested in sex with someone else without your (indirect) participation, or, worse, that she's replacing you as a partner (not just as temporarily as a sex partner). I think that's more specific than whether she develops "feelings" for him -- are you partners in this activity or not? A serious risk is that you start to get paranoid about these things, even if you're wrong in fact (although such "paranoia" is often a reflection of truth that you have picked up subconsciously, even if your partner doesn't understand her own feelings). Both of you need to distinguish between sexual and romantic jealousy, and you have to understand what your trigger points are for the latter and make sure she does her best to avoid those.
Although I'm not sure how to avoid problems, I'm sure that complete honesty and sharing of feelings is critical. If you start to feel that she is not telling you the truth about her feelings or real events, watch out! It will drive you crazy, and it your distrust will quickly poison your relationship. You need to feel that her loyalty and commitment to you are as strong as ever (and, of course, she needs to feel the same). The exception is if you are feeling *temporary* doubts or angst, which can be incredibly strong. That's part of what you're seeking, and if you make her feel bad about it, it will drive her crazy.
This is really about mutual understanding, so sharing not only increases the excitement, but reduces the chances for misunderstanding her feelings and motivations.
This is a really hazardous activity for a relationship, and if my primary goal were to give you relationship advice, I'd say "Don't do it." But I strongly relate to your desires, as you can tell, and understand why it's irresistable to you and Min-Ju. But please take my advice as ways to maximize the excitement of the experience, not minimize the dangers.
By the way, is this visit less than week or more than a week?
Maybe you can find out about "birth control" by monitoring Min-Ju's pill usage. Maybe you don't need to discuss it with her until you are reviewing everything after he leaves. When does her cycle start?
I disagree with a lot of comments from others, especially George. That's not to say he's wrong and I'm right -- we all have our different preferences, and what matters are your preferences, not mine. I don't get into George's servitude thing, but if you, Min-Ju, and KA do, that's great.
Were it me, the most I could possibly ask for is (1) that the experience be mind-blowingly exciting for her (which means that KA has to feel that he's getting the best sex he ever has had), (2) that she fully share the experience, including her feelings before, during (to the extent possible) and after, and (3) that she indulge my sexual quirks to whatever extent she is able without interfering with point (2). Everything you've said indicates that this is the path you're on. The key is finding the sweet spot that is exciting to both you and Min-Ju, and it seems that you are remarkably compatible (but, surely, compromises will need to be made -- and you, being an incredibly lucky bastard, should be prepared to make most of them).
About "keeping jealousy under control", I think there are two different kinds of jealousy: sexual and romantic. I'm guessing that your desires are really driven by sexual jealousy, so, really, I hope that Min-Ju MAXIMIZES that, and that you don't discourage her from doing so. You may only do this once, so go for maximum intensity for both of you. You should savor every detail that you see and every aching second that you have to wait, caged, while they experience sexual pleasure that goes beyond anything physical pleasure you have had with Min-Ju.
In my experience, I found that I lacked imagination, so the more I could directly witness what was happening with my wife and the other man, the stronger the feelings. But I couldn't directly experience my wife's feelings, so I needed to have her tell me about those. It seems that Min-Ju understands you very well, and having her impose her will on you is more exciting to you than having her do what you ask her to do, so, to the extent that you can passively wait for her to make the decisions, it will be more exciting to you.
The excitement of volunteering to leave my own home for a hotel would be nothing compared with the sensory impact of seeing them together in private, exhibiting their sexual pairing, things that you're programmed to feel belong to you and her alone. And that pales by comparison to seeing them head off to the bedroom together, hearing them showering together, and perhaps hearing them making love, or seeing her naked or in something sexy for him, not you.
And directly witnessing how much sex they are having (if you can't witness the act itself). Having her focused on the other man would be a turn-on not because I had a masochistic desire to be ignored, but because it would be another sign of her overwhelming sexual desire for him.
Seeing your wife extremely aroused and excited by the prospected of sleeping with another man, seeing her communicate this non-verbally to him (naturally, not play acting for you), having him act as though he were entitled to this (and you're not), knowing that they have disappeared into the bedroom for hours at a time, etc. would be as humiliating as it can get, without "announcements", volunteering to leave the apartment, etc. The explicit play-acting seems a little fake, compared with the realities I've mentioned. Remove yourself from the picture if she wants you to, but I think volunteering to do so (beyond ensuring that she knows it's ok to do if she feels the need) may deprive you of some extreme pleasures of a unique experience.
Anyway, I don't want to impose my fantasies on you. If you *really* get into volunteering to move out for awhile, and it's more exciting to think about them possibly screwing at home while you're not there, compared with your *knowing* that they went to another room for that express purpose, more power to you. If KA happens to get a thrill from ordering you around or dominating you, that's great. Maybe Min-Ju has briefed him in this and they both have plans for you -- that would be great for everyone. But it's more likely that his main desire is to fuck Min-Ju's brains out and that he doesn't want to devote much mental energy to you -- it might be a turn-off for him. If you're lucky, he'll tolerate your being around if you stay out of the way and don't bug him and Min-Ju while they enjoy themselves. If you're a benign presence, maybe he'll even treat you as a friendly acquaintance.
Oh: About romantic jealousy. You really don't want to go there. That's when you feel that you're not a team. That she's interested in sex with someone else without your (indirect) participation, or, worse, that she's replacing you as a partner (not just as temporarily as a sex partner). I think that's more specific than whether she develops "feelings" for him -- are you partners in this activity or not? A serious risk is that you start to get paranoid about these things, even if you're wrong in fact (although such "paranoia" is often a reflection of truth that you have picked up subconsciously, even if your partner doesn't understand her own feelings). Both of you need to distinguish between sexual and romantic jealousy, and you have to understand what your trigger points are for the latter and make sure she does her best to avoid those.
Although I'm not sure how to avoid problems, I'm sure that complete honesty and sharing of feelings is critical. If you start to feel that she is not telling you the truth about her feelings or real events, watch out! It will drive you crazy, and it your distrust will quickly poison your relationship. You need to feel that her loyalty and commitment to you are as strong as ever (and, of course, she needs to feel the same). The exception is if you are feeling *temporary* doubts or angst, which can be incredibly strong. That's part of what you're seeking, and if you make her feel bad about it, it will drive her crazy.
This is really about mutual understanding, so sharing not only increases the excitement, but reduces the chances for misunderstanding her feelings and motivations.
This is a really hazardous activity for a relationship, and if my primary goal were to give you relationship advice, I'd say "Don't do it." But I strongly relate to your desires, as you can tell, and understand why it's irresistable to you and Min-Ju. But please take my advice as ways to maximize the excitement of the experience, not minimize the dangers.
By the way, is this visit less than week or more than a week?
Maybe you can find out about "birth control" by monitoring Min-Ju's pill usage. Maybe you don't need to discuss it with her until you are reviewing everything after he leaves. When does her cycle start?