Denial 2015

[peakmb]

Dating after Easter seems clearer to me. If a 'special' day crops up then Steve can have No expectation of sexual contact. Sue may engage in a bit of mutual masturbation or maybe finish a hand job but might not even go that far. Perversely, special days would carry a higher expectation, more pressure for her to deliver, so she might not, to stay in her role. On the other hand, some other dates there would be zero expectation and Sue may just be feeling horny for Steve. That to me is when the condoms may come out in future. Just not very often. Enough to keep the memory alive though. Just my guess...

 

[far2easy]

Well, i am sure you both will enjoy this new phase. There will be tougher times but think of the fun it will be watching her and giving her this gift. I think you both will come to find that this was a great decision for your relationship, i believe you already have just with the condoms. Once it begins and you get used to it, it will be an amazing ride! Hopefully, she will let you clean her, thats a shame if she didnt, i think i would have negotiated that a bit!

 

[Jaxunman]

Do you think then, Jax, that things like I implied above, but to go on to includeand a day at the beach, even the 'nude beach; an afternoon stroll through one of NJ's quaint old villages. A neighborhood pool/BBQ party in their back yard when the kids are home. (Maybe for a birthday) A drive together to each of their college students dorms, to know of their progress and goals. A bike ride (just the two of them) fur a full Sunday, including a picnic lunch. Attending a premere performance on Broadway together. ..... Well I could go on ad on. I'm sure there is much more than I know of that can become an intimate, but non-sexual evening in the near-by 'capital of entertainment' New York City.
Some time ago I read of some of these events being shared by Steve & Sue, but Steve's description usually included he and Sue "fucking" afterwards. Maybe it's just that Sue wants to still do these things, but without the expectation of sex afterwards. So that now they can become "special events unto themselves." Special because the conclusion now can be spontaneous, not expected.

Cheers, Harry

Harry, I think your post is right on point. With the new closeness that Steve and Sue are both admitting feeling for each other as their sexual contact has begun to wane more and more, I think each of the special events you describe will be experienced under this new closeness. I would expect these events to also generate an extra level of sexual desire in Sue for Paul. The sexual desires the events generate would be transferred towards Paul. In other words, Steve will be footing the bill and doing all the leg work. Steve and Sue get the benefit of enjoying each other through new eyes, Paul will get the benefit of a more horny Sue. I think, as others have mentioned, that Steve can expect Sue to surprise him at times and help him in a masturbatory role. But that still may or may not mean Steve gets access to Sue's body. That is going to be strictly up to her and whatever feelings she may be having in regards to their sexual disconnection at the time.

 

[tmw1966]

Steve,
Have you discussed with Sue if she will let Paul know of that new arrangement.

 

[Harry2614]

Harry, I think your post is right on point. With the new closeness that Steve and Sue are both admitting feeling for each other as their sexual contact has begun to wane more and more, I think each of the special events you describe will be experienced under this new closeness. I would expect these events to also generate an extra level of sexual desire in Sue for Paul. The sexual desires the events generate would be transferred towards Paul. In other words, Steve will be footing the bill and doing all the leg work. Steve and Sue get the benefit of enjoying each other through new eyes, Paul will get the benefit of a more horny Sue. I think, as others have mentioned, that Steve can expect Sue to surprise him at times and help him in a masturbatory role. But that still may or may not mean Steve gets access to Sue's body. That is going to be strictly up to her and whatever feelings she may be having in regards to their sexual disconnection at the time.

If this is indeed how it plays out, It will go even further back in their relationship than Sue has envisioned. It will go back to Steve's youth before he met Sue. A time when he would be the guy that had a girl over to his place (or he to her's), got her worked up, and even let her watch him masturbate. then he would find that she had "hooked up" with another boy, or a friend of his. And the times he took the girls places in his car, maybe to a 'drive-in movie, but she would end up in another boy's car to 'make out.'

Sue seems to be wanting to return to a time when she was "fun and Free." a time before her first marriage that 'thrust her into unexpected responsibilities.

Maybe she don't realize that she will be taking Steve even further back. Back to a time where he was first experimenting with Male/female relationships.

If so, it may, as Sue said, "be good for us." good that they will be starting over, after all these years. BUT!! given that chance, would they again choose each other as life partners? Chances are they woudn't.

In most cases [in the real world] the answer would be NO! No because the years have given each of them knowledge of the other. Things he/she would like to change in the other, but know from their history together, that won't be changed, unless there is a willingness to change. a willingness that goes against the very core of his/her being.

Starting over in this way is not easy and has many 'pitfalls.' Be very very careful.

Cheers, Harry

 

[Jaxunman]

Harry, once again you are on point, as I have come to expect of you. In post #393, Sue explains precisely what she is wanting to feel once things end with Paul. Below is from that post and backs up your assessment, Harry.

She held my hand and said "but you're not going to have me until it's over baby" and she held my hands and said that she thought this was going to be really good for us and she surprised me with what she said next. She said that after thing end with Paul, that she wants it to feel like the first time for us when we do finally get back together sexually. She said that in her mind, she knows she'll be upset and sullen at the end, but that she wants to have that be when we re-kindle ourselves. She giggled and said that she wants it to be like it was when we first got together and to have it all feel very new to her again and she giggled "it'll be fun having you seduce me again".

 

[Harry2614]

Yes, thank you, Jax, that's what I was looking for but didn't take the time to find today. That is very clear, and Sue is very specific in wanting to give Steve another chance to do it right. To be the man she really wanted in her life.

Steve, She has shown you now several times what she really wants. Brad "wanted her" and she loved him. She made a big point to tell You how Robert "wanted" her, even saying that a "biggy is that he listens to me." she loved Robert As a lover, and as a friend.

Steve, you have been given the challenge. You have been told many times what she wants. Sure she loves you! That's why she is now giving you time to prepare yourself to become the man she wanted when she fell in love with you. Women have this 'vision' to change the man who attracts her to the man she really wants.
Are you up for the task? Do you really love her enough to give up your addictions for her ???

I wish you well, Cheers, H

 

[SoonToBe]

Jeepers Mr. Peabody, has everyone jumped into the deep end of the pool. Harry- her "starting over" isn't about our entire relationship, the way I understand it, it's about resetting our sexual approach and response with each other. It's her wanting to exorcise (with an 'o') something that I now understand she's felt for a while, but it's not like we're resetting our whole relationship - just what happens in bed.

Last night when she came to bed she asked me if I'd masturbated on Thursday night and when I told her that I'd "needed to" she blushed and said she was glad I was turned on by it. She got undressed and asked me if I wanted her to maybe stay naked if I was still horny, or even if I wasn't - that she said she felt confident and comfortable that she could do so without feeling 'pressured' to have sex with me. And yes, it's very much both something I did, sure, but it's also something she's put on herself too - as if the whole "good wife" who wouldn't say no to her husband - so it's not just me that she wants to change Harry, it's also her own expectations in sexual situations with me. I told her that I'd like to look at her a bit longer if she didn't mind and she smiled and said okay and she finished her bedtime routine naked - washing, brushing and then she came to lie next me and said casually that if I was done looking, that she was going to get her night-shirt on and I told her 'ok'. She got up - pulled it on and got back into bed and this time we cuddled up and she snuggled into me and she just said "thanks" and I knew she meant that I'd made her comfortable.

What I really wanted to update here was that she came to me earlier this afternoon and hugged and kissed me and said "that was really nice of you last night" and she said in her own way that it was what she'd wanted to feel - that she could be comfortable and sharing without feeling like she had to let me have or play with her or whatever. She was kind of giddy about it in a way and she hugged me and giggled and said "we should have some more fun later tonight" which I KNOW is her way of telling me she wants sex later!

Harry - I think you're looking a bit too far into the deep end of the pool and seeing just how far down the bottom is and then forgetting that she knows how to swim.

 

[SquirmingSub]

Steve - as always thank you for the update on current events.

 

[peakmb]

I'm glad that the first night under the new midweek regime went well for you and particularly for Sue. So well that she was minded to reward you this weekend. Great news and I hope you both enjoy it. Just left me thinking. If subsequent nights leave her in similar moods, what would imagine your reward would be post Easter? I'm sure Sue has some ideas of what she thinks she might want to do and how far she might go. I wonder if she's shared any. Or would that ruin the surprise. ..

 

[raksdeer]

Jeepers Mr. Peabody, has everyone jumped into the deep end of the pool. It's her wanting to exorcise (with an 'o') something that I now understand she's felt for a while, but it's not like we're resetting our whole relationship - just what happens in bed.

Harry - I think you're looking a bit too far into the deep end of the pool and seeing just how far down the bottom is and then forgetting that she knows how to swim.

STB, deep end or not, we have good intentions. We DO NOT want your relationship to suffer, rather we want you to take care of it. I might be wrong, Harry might be wrong, but the questions that he has asked or I have asked are pertinent.

1) If you have a good house...something that you've made over the years, then do you pull it down..so that you can enjoy house building again ?
2) You say the relationship between Sue and Paul is only physical...then why the need for denial? More so on your special days?
3) And I am surprised at the use of word "pressurized". The use of that word itself signifies...that she really did't want to have sexual relationship with you!

Again my two cents. I know it's what you want and you say that Sue wants it too...but be very careful. It's not Harry or me that's going to deep end...it's you STB!

 

[Harry2614]

Thanks, Raks. I know we both care, but all we have to go on is what Steve writes. For all I know, it's Steve that's off the deep end.

As far as Sue being "pressured" goes, This has only been mentioned as seriously bothering Sue, relatively recently.
As recently as this 'Paul' chapter.

Why not before, Steve? and why haven't you also included that you 'pressured' her to have sex with other men, so you could become a 'cuckold'? We know she didn't want to do that either, because she has consistently offered to quit. Well now we are told she will, (or should I say "has")


Steve, If you found something upsetting in my post #427 (or was it #425) It was only my interpreting what you attributed to Sue having told you she wanted to do when her 'relationship' with Paul is finished. You really did write that, you know. How else should we interpret that?

Also then, did you have anything to say about what I said in post's #425 & #427,? or am I OK on that speculation ?

Cheers, Harry

 

[far2easy]

Hope you are enjoying your last times in Sue's pussy for a while! The fun you 2 will have and how much more meaningful it will be jerking off and watching them. Here's to the hope she lets you worship her pussy or at least smell it a bit.

 

[SquirmingSub]

Steve I must say that I strongly agree with you that some have indeed jumped into the deep end of the pool by reading much more into what you have written about Yourself, Sue and even Paul. If I had not had my own personal experiences in this area I might have been as concerned as some of them although that is not the case here. You and I share a vary similar set of desires along with very similar situational and relationship experiences. With that said I do have a foundation to truly be able to relate to your overall situation.

You and Sue have continued to openly exploring together just as you have together over the years with the difference being this time around that you have openly honestly admitted your beta desires to Sue which has also allowed for Sue to be more openly honest about her own desires. Yes the exploration of your mutual desires this time around has been leading to Sue becoming sexually exclusive with Paul with your agreement while you are to be denied everything that Sue is sharing with with Paul for as long as there relationship last. Yes there can always been exceptions as provided by Sue.

As I am sure you already know, this type of relationship exploration can only be successful when you have a happy marriage based on a very solid and honest foundation which it does appear that you and Sue have. Now that you have openly embraced your beta desires, giving Sue free-reign to completely enjoy a lust-fueled affair with Paul, Sue now feels free, completely empowered and totally in controller of her sexuality whilst remaining happily secure in the stability of YOUR tender love as her eternally devoted, supportive husband.

While it may take more time for you and Sue to each find your ideal comfortable place in the continued evolution of your relationship you have clearly allowed and even encouraged Sue to become herself, to enjoy herself in a way that she desires.

Enjoy the journey with Sue, fully embrace your beta desires while you also support Sue in her desires and fantasies.

 

[SoonToBe]

Harry, whether real or perceived by her, she now cites this newfound insight as a reason of her own to desire what we're going to be doing. As I said, I can understand some of what she's said but not all of it. But I do believe that you and Raks read far too much into what I say or recall that I have to say, isn't how it felt at the time nor how I feel it was intended.

Yes, her new reason of "feeling pressured" is something she's also using as her way of explaining to me how she feels, or rather, felt sexually all this time. I told her that she was blaming me for what we'd done together and that surely after 30 years she'd have said something. She agreed and pointed to my "unlocking" her sexuality as what's brought it to light for her. Whatever, she's described it and as I said, hearing it from her side and understanding that she's not really blaming me as much as herself for her own feeling too, I sort of get it. I mean if I didn't I wouldn't be her husband and know how she is thinking so this really is something new for her.

And her desire to disconnect and then reconnect with me sexually, it's clearly not about hugging or all of that closeness and yes, she's most definitely going to be there with me teasing and arousing me while we share me masturbating and possibly her too. It what she's saying she wants to do to be closer with me and share what she's doing with me. I know it sounds weird to you but it's an incredible feeling to be with her knowing we both want to do this.

She's promised me that I'll get to use at least 3 more condoms with her so that bodes well for this next week and yes, it's also an incredibly ominous thing to think about at the same time. And WHY does that get me so hard to think about.....

 

[peakmb]

Steve, enough about the rantings of the mice. With only 3 condoms to go, how did she tell you and how did the weekend go? Surely with only one 'normal' week left it didn't pass undisturbed by action..

 

[SoonToBe]

Peak - I had hoped that perhaps yesterday (Sunday) that she'd have been up for some more fun and sex. But I know that she was on the phone with her family for a while yesterday and that the day wasn't quite as "up" as we'd have wanted. Later yesterday afternoon hinted around at "what our plans for the evening were". She replied that she knew I was horny and that she too had wanted a lot of "us time" which included sex, but that she was just not really in the mood for it last night. And that was when she hugged me and said "don't worry baby, you'll have at least 3 more times in the next week, promise". And she again said how she wants next Sunday night to be "something special for both of us".

Wish there was more to it but there's not.

 

[SoonToBe]

Well, there was a little more that we'd talked about. She asked me if I'd been masturbating as usual and when I said yes, she asked me if I'd noticed that I seemed to be cumming more than "usual" and she said she'd seen it both when she'd watched me recently as well as what she says I fill the condom with. She was very understanding and told me that she'd done some reading about it and she said that it's because I know Paul is cumming in her and that I'm not and it's "my body trying to make up for it even if it can't". She might be right, even I have to admit I seem to be so horny all the time lately.

She continues to surprise me.

 

[manon]

Steve,

For some men the longer this goes you may loose your ability to return to normal love making with Sue. Sex can be like drugs in that it takes more extreme stimuli to orgasm aka stronger drugs. If your right hand becomes your best friend for too long the transition back after the first few times may be very difficult for you.

Have you thought what is your absolute end game with all this?

Just some thoughts for you to ponder down the road.

Best of Luck

 

[SoonToBe]

Manon - yes, I've heard that - something I am sure we'll both watch out for.
As far as an end-game, I think the plan here is to allow Sue her freedom with Paul - from what she's said, it'll likely be several months.
At that point, I think we'll both have some soul-searching and decisions to be made.

She did pack her overnight bag again this morning to stay with Paul tonight. I have to say that this part is getting easier and more exciting each time. I know I felt tied up in knots at earlier times like today but I feel pretty good about things right now. Sue even liked that I offered opinions on which undies made her look sexier and she admitted to me that she's already left some clothes and toiletries at his place - which made me feel good about things too, that she's becoming more comfortable with this too. I'm sure later tonight it'll get to me but right now, it was nice to see her so happy this morning.