Back to 260 and 261. For #260, you did capture things very well. I'll confess that last night, even in the midst of finally being with Sue again that thoughts of Paul fucking her were also in my mind arousing me and contributing to it. So yes, I suppose it is that I'm in a way living vicariously through Sue. But in thinking about it, it's not that I'm picturing myself as her, but rather her as someone very different sexually. 261 is also pretty on the mark - and I've said it all along, I do think that this is going to be something that Sue "grows out of". Perhaps not to the point where she won't want another guy at times, but I have never felt her wanting this as a true permanent/long-term thing. We still have lots of thoughts about retirement and travel when we're older and they don't include other guys coming with us.
Last night was really nice for me as it was nice to really feel her respond to me. She did say that she felt it more difficult to feel a sexual desire for me when she sees Paul twice a week and said that after seeing him on Tuesday, that by Friday she is horny but by then she also says she wants to wait for him. And Golfman - that leads right into your question. I don't think she necessarily wants me to pull the plug on this or that she feels she is doing this just to fulfill my desires. I know that my desires are surely part of what lets her do this, otherwise they'd just be a part of all of the other fantasies, possible, plausible or not, that she has (and has begun to reveal) - so if my being into this lets her have some of her own fantasies become real, then at this point, if this is how it's wound up, then I just want to let it play out. I think you may be saying that this denial-play is something she's doing for me, but I don't think so. She has continued to say how nice it is without the sexual tension she felt between us. I know that's something that I could simply stop doing, but I have to agree with her about the unexpected side-effects of this which may be good for us and at play in how it did feel to finally reconnect last night as we did.
Regarding the most recent changes in her. I think my coming out and telling her more that I want to be the beta-guy for her is where she's both picked up on and, I think, found some enjoyment or maybe better said to be that it excites her. Paul was a skier before he met us so this hasn't been where she's dragged him up there just for sex. Him staying with us this past weekend was something I wanted as much as she did. Even when they stay in our house, I have to say that while it feels like a pin pushed into my lower back at times, it also is incredibly arousing for me. I know she's picked upon that. If you ask me, she wants my continued reassurance that what she's doing is "good for me". I don't know if she's really becoming more dominant - that would be arousing if it did happen but I don't see her really going that far.
It feels so crazy and yet so hot to say that it's obvious Paul really has a way with her. Even I am amazed at how he can get her to have the whole "Big-O" in most any position when for me it's only happened in the missionary position. And I know in this area she's quite open about it that he really does do things for her. It's clear to me after this weekend that there's definitely an emotional gap between the 2 of them so that was heartening for me to see - but the other side was seeing him so masterfully fuck her and make her scream. So it doesn't really surprise me that when she's comfortable and "in the zone" that she says and does things that are a bit more up front and out there.
The other thing is that I think that if Paul joins us again, I expect the questions about "is this okay" will reduce, just as they have when he comes over our home. And, to be honest, it's friggin' arousing for me to hear her say or see her/him/them do things like they are.
