Denial 2015

[SoonToBe]

No, it's her but in my head she's not the mom/wife of mine for 30 years, she's the sexually awakened wife of the past 8 years.

Not following your last question - not sure how here awareness and request to reduce the sexual tension relates to "never sustain a loving/sexual relationship with any man". You sure like to jump off the deep end with what you extrapolate from what I'm saying.

 

[Harry2614]

Read it again, I re-wrote it, Harry

 

[SquirmingSub]

Steve - truly does sound like everything is going well for you and Sue as well as for Sue and Paul. You will continue to grow your loving intimate relationship with your wife and for now it would seem that Sue will continue to explore and enjoy your sexual relationship with Paul.

 

[Harry2614]

Steve, from #301: "No, it's her, but in my head, she's not the mom/wife of mine for 30 years, she's the sexually awakened wife of the past 8 years."

OK, maybe I'm getting behind, because I'm out in the yard working on my sprinkler system, and using my iPhone. At least I can do that in Az. LOL

This is getting interesting, but you have said it before. "in my head" meaning your mind, (where you think and imagine) that you see that you have, in the last 8 years, helped Sue to 're-emerge' as the sexually promiscuous woman that you met and fell in love with 30 years ago.

Did I get that right? Is that what you want to say?

Harry

 

[SoonToBe]

Yes Harry - you got more of how I intended it to be meant.

 

[Harry2614]

Well I didn't think you'd agree that It's mental. I think I understand now. Thanks.

Cheers, Harry

 

[cscguy]

Harry, for a moment there I thought you had created a second log in with a new name. Only two posts and already he reads like you! I think you both need to factor in that this time it is Sue that is truly in charge. Maybe the previous times just didn't give her what she wanted and this time she's determined to get it. Even if she's going too fast at times. I think the mist will clear this month and we will all see it a bit clearer.

peak- again the fortuneteller. It always amazes me that you are able to predict the events/outcomes in Steve/Sue's lives with such precision. This certainly wouldn't be the first time you knew what the outcome would be before any of the others from the happy gang had even ever given it a thought.

Yes, you certainly have been batting a thousand over the past while.....kind of makes me question just how many of you are involved in bringing this tale to the hungry masses??????????????????????????????????????????

 

[cscguy]

Of course peak, you have been accused of being Sue's uncle in the past. A charge you have neither confirmed or DENIED

 

[peakmb]

Ha. CS you are ignoring the many I get wrong and you seen where I live? A few others also urge Steve to try their fantasies. Not going to happen is it, particularly when he can't lead anyway. So, a bit like our hero, that's a denial!

 

[far2easy]

STB, i think its sweet of Sue to want to enjoy reconnecting from time to time. It says a lot about your relationship and her feelings for you beyond just the sexual lust she is experiencing with Paul right now. Nothing wrong with that! I bet for her it was just an opportunity to ground herself a bit and show her appreciation, to share a moment. A few questions, where does it go from here? Do you see things developing further, ie. staying over night more frequently if you aren't going away, longer denial, etc..? It seems as if you are always leading up to something, well both of you. What happens this spring once school lets out?

 

[peakmb]

Steve, far2 has a fair point. It does seem that all your dreams for 2015 have almost been met already. So after 31 pages and over 300 posts, what do you think it's going to take to start your next new thread?

 

[SoonToBe]

Far2 - no idea for right now other than "enjoying the journey". I know it's been painful at times for me, but I guess for me it's worth it to truly see Sue let herself go and enjoy herself. I think that's the thing that I feel most about her and Paul is that it really is mainly the sex between them that is driving things. I know and I suspect she knows too that this is likely to burn out sooner or later, likely sooner. She hasn't seemed as hot on Paul since last weekend but whenever I've asked her she says everything is fine and also told me that she's hoping he'll be over tomorrow - I asked about if he was spending the night and she said that she didn't know yet.

i wanted to harken back to Golfman's question about whether Sue is enjoying our denial play for herself or if it was just for me. I did ask her last night, in an innocuous way, what her thoughts are on my continuing to use condoms with her. She giggled and said that she hoped I was okay with it because she found herself very turned on by it and she came out and said that she liked it and liked how it made her feel. I jokingly asked if maybe one day she'd let me in her without one on as long as i pulled out before the end. She said maybe at first but then said again how it turned her on to think that she hasn't felt me bare in a long time now. She said she thought she'd miss that part - and yes, I knew she also meant me sharing/giving her the Big-O at the end - and then said that Paul has really given her all she wants that way and she admitted that was also part of what made her feel so hot and horny about denying me. So yes, she's enjoying denying me and I honestly now don't believe she is doing that just for me. It's actually something that really turns me on about what's going on and it's to see her able to say and tell all of that to me without feeling awkward or like it's going to hurt me.

What will it take to start a new thread? I don't know - I suppose after skiing is over maybe. Or as Far2 suggested, when my kids again return home. Actually that'll be pretty funny if she's still seeing Paul to see how she handles her new level of desire with him.

Enjoy.

 

[peakmb]

Steve,
Here’s one possibility that I don’t want to come true but which I think is the thing you risk at the moment. Many have commented that your physical split from Sue has gone farther this time than any other and I can see your reasons. But, consider.

1. You said before that this lover would be the last for Sue. That after this you will re-bond and stay that way from that point on. If this was Sue’s desire then consider it from her side. Does she look at you at the moment and think that you would ever be truly satisfied by that. She knows now she is married to a cuckold. Does she think you can ever again be satisfied with a life of just her and no other involvements?
2. If her lovers have taught Sue anything, it is that she can have at least a good a sex life with a wide variety of men without even a true emotional bonding. She will know that this can only get better if that is added in. Even Paul, who started off so unpromisingly, has emerged as a more than adequate lover even if he doesn’t seem much more than that.
3. The events this year have shown Sue that she can manage without your sexual loving. That even if she doesn’t even find a new husband, that she is capable of finding a lover and that that is sufficient for her sex life for a time. Last week may even have been a final test for her to see how much she really misses your cock. Condom or not, the earth didn’t move for her.
4. Sue’s children have finally left home and she has seen that they are capable of living at college without intervention. This is one of the biggest triggers by itself for many couple to split as people re-assess their lives going forward. Is this it? Is it enough? Can I have better? See this question through her eyes.

OK, I have painted a deliberately black picture here but I do think that Sue needs a strong man in her life. Not a Dom but at least an equal and an Alpha not a Beta. I think the longer you play the beta and show that you truly enjoy being the beta, the more danger you are putting your marriage in. I know you are happy the way things are, and that Sue seems to be, but I’m not sure that she will be in the longer term. I also think that the way to switch back is for you to do it, not Sue to ask for it. If you don’t or can’t do this, I now think it will not end well. Not now but before this year is out, I think Sue may make the decision to split. If Brad or Robert became available this summer I really think that would be it for example. What Sue’s journey may have taught her is that they are not as rare a find as she thought they might be. If Sue was in any way starting to think along these lines, would she tell you? Would you know?

 

[golfman2315]

Far2 - no idea for right now other than "enjoying the journey". I know it's been painful at times for me, but I guess for me it's worth it to truly see Sue let herself go and enjoy herself. I think that's the thing that I feel most about her and Paul is that it really is mainly the sex between them that is driving things. I know and I suspect she knows too that this is likely to burn out sooner or later, likely sooner. She hasn't seemed as hot on Paul since last weekend but whenever I've asked her she says everything is fine and also told me that she's hoping he'll be over tomorrow - I asked about if he was spending the night and she said that she didn't know yet.

i wanted to harken back to Golfman's question about whether Sue is enjoying our denial play for herself or if it was just for me. I did ask her last night, in an innocuous way, what her thoughts are on my continuing to use condoms with her. She giggled and said that she hoped I was okay with it because she found herself very turned on by it and she came out and said that she liked it and liked how it made her feel. I jokingly asked if maybe one day she'd let me in her without one on as long as i pulled out before the end. She said maybe at first but then said again how it turned her on to think that she hasn't felt me bare in a long time now. She said she thought she'd miss that part - and yes, I knew she also meant me sharing/giving her the Big-O at the end - and then said that Paul has really given her all she wants that way and she admitted that was also part of what made her feel so hot and horny about denying me. So yes, she's enjoying denying me and I honestly now don't believe she is doing that just for me. It's actually something that really turns me on about what's going on and it's to see her able to say and tell all of that to me without feeling awkward or like it's going to hurt me.

What will it take to start a new thread? I don't know - I suppose after skiing is over maybe. Or as Far2 suggested, when my kids again return home. Actually that'll be pretty funny if she's still seeing Paul to see how she handles her new level of desire with him.

Enjoy.

Do kids in the Northeast not have spring break?

 

[SoonToBe]

Golf - our daughter's spring break from college isn't till next week and our son's isn't until after that even. Different schools, different schedules.

Peak, I'm not sure that either of us have said that Paul will be her last lover. I actually know I've said many times that she now feels she'll likely enjoy having another male partner for as long as we/she can but perhaps - and this is my assumption - that it would be maybe less intense and just her enjoying another guy every now and then. So, no, I don't think it can ever (well never say never) go back to a totally vanilla relationship. I think I knew that all along that some of the genie won't go back into the bottle.

I'm not sure that the earth didn't move for her last week with me. Granted the Big-O was off the table but there would be surely no complaint from most women in terms of the orgasms and pleasure she did have with me. However, yes, we have also experienced a much longer period where we weren't intimate at all. I'm not sure that it was so bad and again, while the sexual interaction for us may have decreased, the closeness and other aspects of intimacy have definitely increased. And for me, with her apparently not really getting that from Paul, that give me a lot of comfort that things will work out okay. Yes I can see what you're saying about this being a time when she may choose to see a different direction in the future, but I don't think it's where she's at. If anything our closeness seems to be increasing and for me, I see her keeping a comfortable distance between her and Paul. After all, she's the one who said no to seeing him Tuesday night feeling it was too much. I actually see her keeping herself under control in that way. And so far, there's nothing she seems to be hiding from me or not expressing with me so I'm not sure that I see her actively seeking someone to replace me with in the future but rather someone who might complement us in the future (complement with an e not an i).

At least that's where my head is at with all of this.

Even tonight - yes Paul is coming over but as of what we last talked about just an hour or so ago, she doesn't think he's going to spend the night.

 

[far2easy]

How many condoms do you have left? Just wondering if Sue gets to the end and then evaluates where you are.

 

[peakmb]

Steve, thanks for the response on that. As I said, I deliberately painted a black picture to get you to consider it and rule it out. As I'm sure you know, I think you're in a pretty good spot at the moment. You're both getting what you want and need right now. Both have it under control mostly, and feeling a proportionate amount of angst and guilt respectively. Enjoy this evening. It will be interesting to see how Paul behaves when he isn't coming straight from seeing his friends...

 

[Knk069]

So - I have a lot of mixed thoughts as I'm sure everyone can understand.

... One thing that I have now realized is already happening is that she has already almost cut me off sexually with her. It's been now almost a month since we made love last and I shared an orgasm with her. I knew she said that when it would happen that it would be something that just happened - and that's what I noticed, that it's just happened. ...

If it's true, that she's really feeling this, that she no longer wants to feel me in her, that I want her to tell me that and explain it to me. I want to know how she's feeling and if this marks any escalation in anything with her and Paul. ...

Wow. What a great weekend. I was out of pocket for a week and so much has happened it's taking time to catch up. These comments caught my attention. I've been thinking about Paul and his relationship with Sue. They have been escalating the relationship (at least sexually) since he accepted that you enjoy this. Do you think he may be driving the increase? I mean, a couple weeks ago he was being very possessive of her in front of you (Valentine's weekend). Could he be putting some pressure on Sue, overtly or covertly, for more time together? Maybe even for a "date" that he asked about when you came out about your desires?

 

[dana007]

STB
well did paul stay the night and did it go as you hoped it would.
keep us posted.

 

[peakmb]

Steve, so much seems to have happened recently, I was surprised to note that you have not updated your journey since Thursday last week. Intrigued...