Curious Wife

[Saraha]

With modern television pushing sex onto the screen at night, it is difficult to believe that a married man in his late 20's would not want to be more adventurous in matters sexual.

I do not think you should miss out on your dreams. Keep thinking about them every day and the Law of Attraction will provide you guidance to bring them into reality in the fullness of time.

You could get a good friend to test your husband out, by flirting with him often to see what his response is. He will either shut her down quickly, or feel chuffed at the possibilities forming in his imagination. It helps if she goes bra-less and he can see down her top when she bends forward.

He will either mention it to you, or keep his delicious thoughts to himself as part of his secret inner world he has not shared with you YET.

 

[Custer Laststand]

Hi Ms. Lexxi,

I’ll conclude my comments on your most recent posts by recommending you try to set your passions aside long enough to order, read and think about two books which form a coupled set. I also suggest asking your husband to read these books. Then, as you and he do so, talk with each other about them as (one might say) a joint project. They are:

"Women's Infidelity” Living in limbo; what women really mean when they say ‘I’m not happy,’ by Michelle Langley (2005, McCarlan Publishing, 185 pp [paperback]), and

“Women’s Infidelity II” Breaking out of limbo; how to end your confusion and move forward, by Michelle Langley (2008, McCarlan Publishing, 115 pp [paperback]). You can find them here:

Infidelity, Cheating Wives - Women's Infidelity

I find these books provide an exceptionally good explanation and clear insight into what my wife and I are now going through — we separated about 8 months ago after 38 years of marriage — better, in fact, than any other book or online material I've found. I also find Ms. Michelle’s books are highly relevant to the “wife-who-fucks-other-men vs. cuckold husband” cases, including yours, I've been reading and commenting on in this forum since 2006.

When you look at Ms. Michelle’s web page, you may conclude what she has to say isn’t relevant to your situation, perhaps because you and your husband have a mutually agreed-upon “cuckold husband / hotwife” marriage, not a marriage in which you’re secretly having an affair that your husband is ******* of and in which you’re actively keeping him (or trying to keep him) in the dark. I hope you’ll take my word for it that Ms. Michelle’s books are very likely to provide you and your husband with fundamentally-important insight into your marital situation, as well as insight into your situation vis-à-vis your lover, and are highly relevant (not just to you and your husband but, like as not, to most of the female/male couples on this forum).

Incidentally, when I ordered the hard-copy versions of Ms. Michelle’s books, digital PDF-file versions were supposed to arrive by e-mail within one day. That, however, did not happen. Eight days later I sent an e-mail query to the address given on my receipt. The distributor (McClaran Enterprises) replied immediately, verified they had shipped my hard-copy versions, and sent me the PDF-file versions by e-mail the next day.

Acknowledgement: I have Rural to thank for bringing “Women’s Infidelity” to the attention of this forum in a recent post. I was aware of it and had vaguely intended to order it for some time, but hadn’t. When Rural (in effect) reminded me, I did so.

I’ll conclude with a disclaimer. I am not associated with Ms. Michelle Langley in any way and do not gain any financial or other personal benefit, directly or indirectly, from the sale of her books or from recommending her books to others.

—Custer

 

[Harry2614]

Lexi:
I suspect you think you are getting mixed advise from some here, but Custer and others do have good advise for you and your situation with your new Black Bull. You simply have not spent enough time with him to make the kind of decision you are contemplating.
You must diligently consider custer's advise, especially since you have valued his advise at the beginning of your thread.
Also, may I add that there is a lot for you to consider and digest by reading the threads of "Radical Guy" and "SoonToBe". Note that Radical Guy was willing (as your husband is) to allow his wife to have an exclusive long term relationship with her Boy friend and his wife honors him for doing so.
In SoonToBe's case, Sue's sexual relationship with her last Man/Bull (although not exclusive) lasted for 2 years. But it did end! And that is what will happen to your relationship with your Black friend/lover by his own description of why he is in this kind of relationship with you.
You did spend a good amount of time talking with your husband before getting into this situation. You owe him the respect of his input into the decision of how to proceed with this lifestyle now.

Cheers, Harry

 

[Custer Laststand]

Addendum

Hi Ms. Lexxi,

The following short article on the Cherry Lee / Ronnie West "Modern Directions" site may be of interest to you:

Thinking of Divorce? Think!

Among other things, they comment that when a married woman (/man) divorces her (/his) spouse and marries her (/his) lover, the re-marriage seldom lasts long. The two books by Ms. Michelle Langley I suggested in post #308, above, provide insight into why that's likely to be the case.

I hope you're well, and have not yet made any decisions you're likely to regret.

—Custer

 

[Jaxunman]

Well said, Mac.

 

[okdeacon]

What The Fuck

Lexxi, Are you on crack? How else did you get yourself all fucked up. You had better get your shit together before you destory your life and the lives of your family members. You dont love the black man thats fucking you, you dont have anything but a fatal case of the dumbass. Fucking a black friend is one thing and should be enough to make your life complete and happy one with a full serving of bliss. What you are talking about doing is childish bullshit and you are being a thoughtless cunt about it. You had better get your head straight now woman before its to late. You are going to fuck your black friend and his family up as well and his wife might just decide to settle with your ass. That could include a whole lot of very scary things and she will not takes some white bitch doing her hubby this way. You better believe it there is going to be hell to pay. Just a small part will be the loss of both of your jobs, do you want to start totally over with the kind of reputation you will then have. So wise up and help yourself while you still can its not to late. No one wants to see you destory yourself and so many others. I care for you and your well being and wish you a speedy recovery of your senses. okdeacon

 

[Custer Laststand]

[Ms. Lexxi] owes it to her husband to come clean with what's happened to date, the fact that she's fallen OUT OF love with [her husband], and find herself an apartment someplace to think this all out without the influence of either side.

Ms. Michelle Langley, in her books I mentioned above, points out that when a married woman tells her husband she needs to move out in order to "find herself," there is always another man. It's a large step in the direction of divorce, because if she wants to "find herself" by thinking about a change in career goals, she can do that at home. If she wants to "find herself" by thinking about a change in personal life philosophy, she can also do that at home. The only thing she needs her own apartment for is to have sex with another man.

In Ms. Lexxi's case, all concerned are fully aware there's "another man," who he is, and why she's fucking him. To imagine Ms. Lexxi will stop fucking her physically-hot, intellectually-stimulating and professionally-successful black lover if she leaves her husband and moves into her own apartment to "think about it" in a state of celibacy, however, is an illusion. A much more likely outcome, IMO, would be that she and her lover would fuck more frequently because they would have full and free access to each other. An additional likely outcome would be that Ms. Lexxi would then divorce her husband... or he would divorce her... because neither she nor he would be deriving any further positive benefit from their marriage, while he would be deriving many negative "benefits."

Ergo a much more reasonable approach to this problem for Ms. Lexxi to take, IMO, would be to try to obtain an honest explanation from her lover of why he terminated his previous relationship with a white married woman. A ways back in this thread, when she first told him (in effect) she wanted him, he gave her (as I recall) an explanation of why his previous relationship ended... but Ms. Lexxi's summary of it was rather brief. A very good thing for her to do (again, IMO) would be to to make a serious effort to find out the truth on that front. Did he end his relationship with his previous married lover, for example, because she "fell in love" with him and was beginning to talk in terms of divorcing her husband so she and he could live "happily ever after"? Was her husband getting upset and angry, and was the whole thing getting beyond... perhaps way beyond... what he wanted from the relationship?

If so, is the same fate awaiting Ms. Lexxi (i.e., her lover terminating his relationship with her, albeit in a gentlemanly way, no doubt) when she informs him she has decided to divorce her husband so the two of them can live together in eternal bliss...?

This is the possible (perhaps probable) outcome I've been trying to convey to Ms. Lexxi. I've addressed her in the third person in this post because she seems to have dropped out of this discussion.

 

[TXboy]

Mac,OK,Custer........well said.
Will be looking for her next post.

 

[Custer Laststand]

Mac,

I'll begin with your "big wrap-up assertion:"

Sorry if that ruins your cuckold therapy case, but sometimes you got to recognize and respect a serious situation and know when to stay the fuck out of it.

Ms. Lexxi asked me, in a PM, for my comments. I commented. If you don't like that — fuck you, asshole. I owe nothing to you or your half-baked opinions.

Regarding the rest of your post: it's hard to see the relationship (if there is any) between what you've said and my post that you're apparently referring to. Regarding:

Custer Laststand, I'm not the least surprised in your response, afterall, you've always had a bit of a problem differentiating between what is REAL and what is NOT REAL.

Bullshit. This is nothing more than an admission that your views of human nature differ from mine, combined with an unsupported assumption that therefore, you're right and I'm wrong. To put it as pleasantly as possible: I find your comments unconvincing, and I don't agree with you.

To you, cuckolding is cuckolding ... and that's simply not so.

I've never said that. The spectrum of interactions among husbands, wives and lovers described in the threads and posts of this forum is highly variable and, in my opinion, very interesting. That's the reason I participate.

We have a real woman with a real husband, having a sexual fling with a black man...

Finally, you got something right. From time-to-time in Ms. Lexxi's thread, doubters (always men) appeared who asserted her thread is a work of fiction by a man who was posting a fantasy; they challenged her to "prove" that she's really a woman and her posts are "real." In an anonymous forum of this nature, disbelief is not an entirely unreasonable point of view, since fictional threads have, in fact, been started and carried forward from time-to-time by aspiring fiction writers. If the "original poster" doesn't confess in response to being called out by someone, or doesn't make it obvious the thread is fiction with (e.g.) some sort of massive inconsistency, one has only one's judgement to use in discriminating which threads are real from those that might not be. My feeling is, Ms. Lexxi's thread is "real."

...who says he wants no commitment ... and your best advice is ... fuck him more, a lot more.

If you think I said that, you're wrong. You badly misread my previous post. I said that would be the most likely outcome if Ms. Lexxi were to take YOUR advice and leave her husband and move into an apartment of her own, where (according to your fantasy) she would be able to abstain from sex with her lover AND her husband and contemplate her naval. Please... give me a break. What planet are you from, anyway...?

You seem to constantly be in a long winded state of fantasy play.

Again, let me be specific. Fuck you, asshole.

Lexxi is a typical scenerio of a woman getting involved with a man where the romance/emotional foundation is missing. Most women desire/need to have romance along with their sex.

That's variable. Some women do, others don't. I've had sexual relationships with both kinds.

I've cautioned about this many times when men have come to these forums wanting to know how to get their wives to go out on their own and get sexually involved with other men.

So what? The mere fact you pontificate about this and that in this anonymous forum "cautioning" people with your pet ideas does not imply forum members pay any attention to your ax grinding. People live their own lives.

Women don't approach sexual relationships like men. Men are much more capable of separating sex and love ... we mostly respond with our dicks, and if romance only comes along once in a million years, its ok as long as we are getting our dicks wet.

Again with the bullshit, pretending you "know" how women approach sex. Maybe you should read the two books by Ms. Michelle Langley I suggested to Ms. Lexxie (see above). She makes the interesting point that for men, love is commitment. For women, love is a feeling. Has that insight ever occurred to you during your exhaustive pontifications on "how women think and feel"? I doubt it. It wouldn't hurt you, every "once in a million years" (as you put it), to raise your sights above the level of the crap you watch on television and do some actual thinking.

Back to Lexxi's situation ... you say she should "obtain an honest explanation from her lover of why he terminated his previous relationship with a white married woman."

That wouldn't be a bad idea. An even better idea would be for Ms. Lexxi to find out who she is and spend some time talking with her.

This black guy has already stated his intentions...

Suppose we just call him a "guy" (or Ms. Lexxi's lover). And yes, that's true... but, as I noted, her description of that was rather brief. Maybe he said everything there was to say about why he ended his previous relationship in a few words. On the other hand, maybe he didn't.

...and he doesn't owe her any further explanations.

What does your opinion have to do with it? That would be for Ms. Lexxi to determine. If he states that (in essence), it would not be a point in his favor and she could take it into account in deciding how to view the nature of their relationship and the problem of how to proceed.

He'll continue to fuck her until she realizes he's not going to provide the emotional side to the relationship, and she'll eventually break it off herself once she realizes he's fucking 2-3 other white women as well. With any luck, she'll be able to get through this without getting herself pregnant ... a strategy some women try to use to obligate/get commitment from their men.

Please, spare me your rank speculation based on personal prejudices, all disguised as "truth," and your pretend "insight" into Ms. Lexxi's motivations.

.... [Ms. Lexxi's] biggest concern isn't whether to continue her infidelity with her lover, it's how to deal with her cuckolded husband.

Wrong. She needs to deal with both simultaneously. Anyone with any experience in management, however modest, would consider that obvious.

She doesn't need influence from us on a decision ONLY SHE can internally come to terms with.

If forum members said that to everyone who posted here, this wouldn't be a very interesting forum, would it...?

Leaving the only man she's ever been romantically involved with, to this point, is a major step for her, as she sees it as her own fault for it happening.

Arguably, divorcing her husband may be a good thing for Ms. Lexxi to do at this point. As you may recall (or maybe you don't) from the early posts in her thread, she said she and her husband were both virgins when they married. That means neither of them had the range of sexual experiences necessary to make a judgement as to whether they would be capable of long-term marriage to each other, nor did they have knowledge of whether they were sexually compatible. As it turned out, they weren't. As it also turned out, that's very important to Ms. Lexxi. Thus, a good thing for her to do at this point may be to acknowledge she made a mistake, file for divorce and move on. Since the two of them don't have children (evidently), minimal damage would be caused by her doing that now. By this I don't mean she SHOULD do that, but certainly it's an option and obviously she's thinking about it.

As I said, when I realized she was only looking for support, not advice, that's when I quit posting to her thread.

If you think I care why you do or do not post in any given thread, you're wrong. I don't.

—Custer

 

[Anubis_30]

Well I did not read every post in this 32 page thread. I read the first 3-4 pages, started to detect something, and then skimmed through the rest.

I won't spend a lot of time on this because some of you are so subsumed by this that any critique is met with the same hostility as telling a room of drug addicts that their drugs were just a placebo.

Custer's my boy, and although some hate him, I call him "The Professor" because the dude remembers every post a person's ever made, he's read every obscure article on the subject, and he's ready to explain the academics of even the most extreme anecdotal data and can apply these principles, in true professorial fashion, in a vacum.

If you guys would stop taking him so literally as an advocate for these ideas, and rather just look at the stuff he's describing as a window into one distant end of this spectrum, you probably wouldn't be so annoyed. I don't think any curious first time poster is actually going to buy a femdom book and hand it to his wife completely out of nowhere on Custer's advice, LOL. But the same can be said for a lot of the advice I read from some of you other people who ridicule Custer and claim to have it all figured out. There is a whole forum with pictures of a lot of these same guys wearing girls' underwear, chastity belts, and tattoos that say "property of [insert wife's name]" right above your dick. The belief that you have a "fool proof" approach to helping a monogamous married woman convince her husband, who was purportedly sexually "boring," convince him to happily get on board with what is essentially tectonic shift in his entire concept of interpersonal relationships, marital roles, self-esteem and a host of other major components of one's identity in just 3 months, is likewise laughable. You're talking about a complete reprogramming of a person's synapses in the neural net. If it hasn't already started, it isn't going to happen quickly.

Seriously...I want to go back and read some of these suggestions just to get a good laugh. The fact that some of these suggestions in particular were well received by a "curious" newby to the forums, and supposedly assimilated and quickly implemented with great success, is curious.

And I won't even get into the inconsistencies I picked up with just cursory glance. Custer knows what I do for a living. I can't turn that part off. Years and years of training has destroyed fictional non-fiction for me

 

[Anubis_30]

To supplement my post, I also understand the allure of having the catbird seat through the interaction with one or the other partner in a relationship, who has privately expressed to us his or her desire to do sexual acts that the other partner does not know about. Many of us have lived through that.

If you're here, then it was probably a rollercoaster of unprecedented orgasmic bliss followed by confusion and maybe loss/sadness, and back to euphoric orgasm. So it's easy to strike out at someone who calls bull. That next hot update gives you such a visceral high, and you just want to jack off and live the moment vicariously.

I get it. I usually keep incredulous comments at bay. But no need to attack the ones who occasionally vent because they tire of what happens in here 95 percent of the time. They like the real stuff too, that's why they're here (with few exceptions).

 

[peakmb]

Well, don't say I didn't warn you. Custard strikes again. Never mind the quality, feel the width. Quoting shamen, witch doctors and whoever else.

Lexxi appears to have realised that, whatever her solution to her problems, it is probably not a good idea to try to post them here first. If we do ever find out what happened (and I hope we do), it will probably be way after the event, which means we can't influence it. Frankly, if we get a long winded quote from her at this stage, i would be inclined to think the whole thing is a hoax, and I don't think it is at this stage. Yes, she is in a mess, largely of her own making really. Some on this site have encouraged her there, but she chose her direction, not them.

My advice to Custard is to say less (actaully that's always my advice to him), even if you have some 'special relationship' here created by your voluminous PMs, keep it private. To the rest, I really believe that poking a stick in this is only going to make it worse in real life. Let the wound heal. Rant over. Sorry.

 

[Chi-twn]

I don't think she's done a fucking thing wrong. Who's to say that when this all shakes out she isn't happier a year down the road. So many ASSumptions on this thread it is comical.

For all the people on this board that live some pretty "alternative" lifestyles, you sure can act like a bunch of fucking opinionated soccer moms.

 

[Alexis]

Actually, I came here to post how things are going for me, but have changed my mind. It looks like to many of you I'm either a liar, or have a "fatal case of the dumbass", so why bother.

I will be stopping in now and then to see some pics and read some posts, but at this point, I doubt if I'll post again unless it's to add a comment in someone else's thread.

Thank you to everyone who's been nice to me.

 

[okdeacon]

Happy Trails

Que Sera, Sera.

 

[kiserdon01]

thanks for your story i really enjoyed it and would love to hear more in private if your intrested

 

[cp1970]

Lexxi, don't give up on us all please, don't let a few negative posters cahse you away, the vast majoirty of us would love an update and have found your story very interesting....

 

[sb64]

Please come back Lex!!!

 

[sptbj2]

Actually, I came here to post how things are going for me, but have changed my mind. It looks like to many of you I'm either a liar, or have a "fatal case of the dumbass", so why bother.

I will be stopping in now and then to see some pics and read some posts, but at this point, I doubt if I'll post again unless it's to add a comment in someone else's thread.

Thank you to everyone who's been nice to me.

Lexxi, please reconsider your decision not to post how things are going for you. We really need input from the female perspective. Some of the guys can get a little rough some times. Maybe they're locked up and not getting any (or enough.) Just kidding guys .

 

[okdeacon]

Lexxi, please reconsider your decision not to post how things are going for you. We really need input from the female perspective. Some of the guys can get a little rough some times. Maybe they're locked up and not getting any (or enough.) Just kidding guys .

Thanks for the just kidding. Lexxi seems not to comprehend the fact that she is about to totally fuck up her life and a few of us dont want to see her do it. But i have had my say and dont care what she does as its her choice and her choice alone. Out of respect for the fact that it is her life. So be it. okdeacon