peakmb said:
STB, "There has to be a reason a woman who you have described as cold and frigid left what was probably an undemanding husband like Frank. It seems clear now that when they handed out the "What Women Want" smarts, Frank was towards the back of the line. His insensitivity to Sue's needs is staggering in a lover and seems only matched by his almost total lack of imagination.
But yet .. Sue has now spent a lot of emotional capital in getting what she wants out of Frank. Maybe she has to give him huge hints but it seems, when they are away at least, he delivers the goods. Sue's escalating pleasures from her succesive trips will not be easy to walk away from, and why should she when she has him so well trained. I suspect, even if he does now sometimes yearn for another wife, Frank may find it difficult to find someone to appreciate and understand him [as Sue does].
Any new lover for Sue will not find it easy to compete. Her loving she gets from you her husband, her mindless fucks on her terms she gets from Frank, who is undemanding otherwise. Any new lover, bull or otherwise, risks placing his own demands in areas Sue does simply not want to go, especially if it risks (in her eyes), upsetting her relationship with [Steve]."
First, Peak, I’d like to thank you for bringing in an analogy of Frank that has not been considered here till now.
If accurate, it explains a lot about his response to Sue ‘pursuing’ him in an attempt to make him ‘want’ and ‘desire’ her.
From Frank, let’s go on and examine how Sue’s ‘need to be wanted,’ and to have sex with men that, ‘want’ and ‘desire’ her may affect her relationship with Frank.
Sue has learned that, in her marriage, Steve will ‘desire’ her more, after a period of waiting. (or denial) She is then assured of his love and need for her. She is gratified that she can provide what he needs.
Brad was Sue’s first sexual love, outside of marriage. He desired her to the extent of romantic involvement with her, and she with him. Brad was somewhat ‘dominant’ with her and she loved having very physical, (rough) sex with him. Something that his wife apparently didn't appreciate.
As I was putting these thoughts together, Steve wrote another post where he considers that Sue is feeling, “Not good enough,” for Frank.
I think that is a valid point and, if true, explains more about her, than her present relationship with Frank.
I am going to ‘go out on a limb’ here, with an assumption,
(purely for the purpose of example): If Sue is her father’s ‘first born’ and he wished his first born to be a son, she would perceive that feeling as a young girl, and thereafter strive to always, ‘please’ her father so that she would be, “good enough” in her father’s eye. She would try to be the first to, ‘Be there for him.’ and now in his ‘later years,’ care for him.
A girl’s relationship with her father carries over to her sexual relationships with men as an adult. Sue has been fortunate that in her younger years, men always desired her, and were pleased to have what she offered them. So now she strives to be, “good enough” so that Frank will ‘desire’ her, but long term, that works against him ‘wanting’ her, because he may perceive her as, ‘wanton’ and 'too easy.'
Her being ‘open' and ‘available’ for him, may be seen by him as her, ‘throwing herself’ at him, and rather than causing him to desire her, turns him off!
If Sue ‘moves on,’ from Frank, and finds an ‘unmarried’ man similar to Brad, She (and Steve) could be in for trouble, because she is also sexually submissive, and will willingly do what he asks, in her quest to be “good enough” and desired by him.
Cheers, Harry
HOT SPRINGS!!!!!