She surprised me last night when she came in from her sisters and said she still wanted to do our "Wednesday routine" if I wanted to. I laughed at her for thinking I wouldn't want to.
The other surprises came when, as I was starting to stroke away, she shared that she wanted to be sure I would be okay if Paul came over this weekend. Not staying the night, but coming over after his golf game on Saturday and "staying late", when I asked how late she giggled and said "might as well be all night" as far as where I'd be sleeping, etc.
We talked about it and she said that it was him that had setup plans for Sunday morning that he didn't want to change and didn't want to wake/bother her and I really early Sunday morning wanting us to enjoy this weekend as much as we can relaxation-wise after last week. I told her that was up to her but that I was okay with it. She asked me if I wanted to be there - implying to watch them, and again as she well knew but likes to hear, I told her I surely would. She was talking quite openly and it was her who said that "it might get a little physical.... just so you know" and I simply nodded my head as I surely do know.
But she also said something to me about whether I would ever tell Paul more of how I feel and it was her who said that it might be good for the 3 of us to be more open about everything and she looked at me and said "after all baby, things are going to change a little bit for us soon".
Just the way she said it had my cock rock hard and dripping away which clearly made her smile. She said that she was sorry we'd had to delay getting things started but that she admitted that she'd "been very horny this week" and said that was a good sign for her that she was feeling more normal again (which made me laugh inside). She asked me "are you still ready for everything we'd talked about?" and I nodded and gave her a genuine 'yes' and I told her that these past few weeks, while they'd been hard on her and us, were also good and I shared with her my thoughts on how it was maybe better to have eased into it this way. She reached over and held my hard cock over my own hand and stroked it a few times with me and she told me that she wanted to be sure we'd had time tonight "for this" and she said she wanted to always share this with me and how she liked how it made her feel about us with me wanting to share it with her. She commented on how she'd even like to watch me more sometimes when she is in the right place (as opposed to the other night) and she giggled that "you'll get to watch me this weekend, won't you". I told her that I thought it was good that Paul wasn't truly spending the night as for me "and for you" that I told her I thought we should both start more slowly with this.
So, as you can imagine, this was just a really comfortable conversation to be having and while we are still moving ahead, she was totally ahead of me with how she was feeling and agreeing to "starting slowly". Needless to say - I was totally into stroking away (and yes, I've kept it shaved mostly - I am letting it grow in a little bit above my cock but from the base of my cock down, I'm keeping it bare for her) - and I swear it felt bigger than ever. And I can share the thoughts in my head at the time - on another website there's a page with a picture on it of a huge bare cock with a caption of something like "being big doesn't mean it needs to be used" and I thought about how erotic it was that my cock was hugely erect in front of her and for both of us to know that it's not going to be used either.
I was stroking away enjoying the moment when she turned her head up to look at me and she said softly to me "baby..... do you ever think about telling Paul more of what we're doing?". I guess she noticed my rhythm of my stroke changed and she said "do you?". I stayed stroking but slower and more deeply and I turned to look at her. I told her that I too had been thinking about it and I asked her both what she'd told him as well as what she was thinking I would tell him. I also asked her as we talked how she thought he was going to be and how he was going to feel about everything.
Now we only talked for maybe 20 minutes total from start to when I finally orgasmed with her and we weren't/couldn't talk at times as I got closer so we only talked in generalities - and agreed that it wasn't going to happen this weekend, although I did say that maybe I'd start to say something to him this weekend. Regarding what she's told him - she's told him about my ED situation and that a lot of the time I find it easler to simply not deal with sex rather than have to take Viagra or something like that and how I'm working with my doctor on alternate medications that might be affecting it - so he has an understanding that I haven't been wanting to underperform and that I have been okay with her pretty much only having sex with him. She's also told him that she's "enjoying" her newly found menopause-pregnancy-safety and that she wants sex a lot more than she did in the past. (so I guess that sort of explains what he must be thinking about her attitude/desire). As far as what she'd like me to tell him - first she said "whatever you are comfortable with" but she then added that she thought it would be easier on us all if I could be more honest with him about what I wanted instead of what she is telling him that she (and in turn, I) want. She told me that she thought it would be easier on me - again going back a ways, if it "didn't feel like I was fighting it" and she looked at me and said that even though she "knows" it's what I want to do/try/happen, that even she says that she still feels some apprehension from me and she actually said that if I came out and told him more, that she thinks it would change how I feel. I noticed she didn't answer my question about she thought he was going to feel about it so I asked. She smiled at me and she said "baby, he doesn't really care - he knows you love me and he thinks that this is all great" and she proceeded to tell me that over the 2+ years they've been together, that he has pretty much gotten-used-to how it is with me and he knows that I enjoy him having sex with her even if I can't bring myself to tell him. And in that she said that "he'd probably think no different other than maybe understanding more of what is going on". Whcih did make me think..... And I concluded that I'm still not ready to tell him everything - but that I also told her that I was sure that if things proceeded as she hopes they will, that I thought it would only be natural that over time, I tell him most everything.
It wasn't that intense of a conversation - it was light-hearted and she'd continued to tease me telling me at times "looks like that's turning you on to think about". As the time began to go by, she turned the conversation back towards sex and turning me on. When she started to tell me again how she'd been horny and she cooed in my ear about how "wet I've been sometimes" I was rock hard and ready again. And again the earlier thoughts about that caption of being big doesn't mean it is going to be used, it so turned me on. I came just after she whispered how she was looking forward to "feeling him again".
