New Year, New Thread
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Lol - just a little suggestion Saraha - there's an icon on the Thread in the forum list that will take you right to the last post in the thread and if you go to Page 1, there's always the option to click on last or the high-page number shown. Wouldn't want to run those solar-cells down any more than necessary!!!!
Ahh - some quiet at work for a bit as I had some things I remembered that I wanted to share and remember myself.
As I said we have been talking more and last night I wasn't sure what would be happening as I'd said in my earlier post. But later on - must have been about 10pm we were in our bedroom and I heard the click of the lock on our door and she came over and said she wanted to talk some more. I immediately sort of realized that she was going to want me to masturbate and I was horny so I turned the TV volume down a bit lower and sat up on the bed a bit and we started to talk.
What she asked me about reminded me that we'd started talking about this on New Years Eve, I guess, was the last time. She looked at me and said again what she'd said just about a week ago - she said she liked thinking back to last year (end of 2014) and how that night had been for us. As I said, we'd talked on NY eve this year and she asked me how I felt looking back at it. I told her that it turned me on and she told me that it turned her on to think that "it was the last time" (I didn't add "except for the 4 or 5 times over the summer" this time) and I hugged her and told her that it did turn me on sometimes to think about that. She pushed me more, to tell her more about how I felt and what I remembered. I told her that I remembered not wanting it to end and that I also remembered how when I felt the urge rising to stop trying to hold off for longer - and I have to say that it actually felt good telling her that - in the end, that knowing it was the "last time" in my head, that I remembered being so excited to finally cum in her and know what it meant when I pulled out of her.
By now she had unbuttoned my lounge-pants and had pushed my boxers down and was playing with the head of my now stiff cock. She asked me to tell her more and last nigh it felt good to tell her. She asked me how it feels to me to "not feel me" when we have sex now. I told her as I was now stroking my cock that I can still feel her in so many ways, and then added, but at the same time, knowing I can't feel her makes it almost more exciting to know why. I noticed she too was rubbing herself, first through her pants, but then with them and her panties pushed down as she confided in me that she too is aroused at how it feels to have sex with me with a condom on.
I was stroking away as was she and I could hear her pussy was getting wet from the sounds her fingers were making, she didn't have her legs spread wide apart or anything, just her hand tucked in between her legs. She asked me to tell her more and it was one of those times when it just felt good to talk openly to her so I told her that it really turned me on that she enjoyed the sex with him so much. She asked me in the sexiest of voices if "it still turns you on that I want him and not you sometimes?". I grunted back "sometimes? seems like all the time" to which she sort of moaned/giggled and said "well, is that still what turns you on?"
I knew what she was asking me - was I still into being the beta. As I stroked my cock I turned towards her and I told her that I never wanted to lose her but that yes, it still turned me on very much that she shared herself so intimately with Paul and I think I was actually really happy to tell her feeling so comfortable that yes, I did still want it. She moaned for a moment and I know I saw her push her fingers into her pussy as I said that and I think she like held them still and if anything that she tightened her legs and muscles around them. There was definintely a few moments of silence until I heard her breathing again and she just said "that really makes me feel special honey".
We talked for a few more minutes but I was already so close and she'd obviously just cum that with just a little more teasing from her I told her I was about to cum and she got up on one elbow and turned to watch me. I have really come to love masturbating in front of her like this. She loves watching me and I love the arousal I see on her face. I try to hold off as long as possible but seeing one of her hands under her night-shirt obviously playing with her breasts just turns me on so much as I stroke away that it just feels so good to let it go. I do love the look on her face as she watches and then, my god, the sexy smile on her face as she plays with my cum is just priceless.
Surprisingly she was the one who fell asleep fast last night, not me.
As I said we have been talking more and last night I wasn't sure what would be happening as I'd said in my earlier post. But later on - must have been about 10pm we were in our bedroom and I heard the click of the lock on our door and she came over and said she wanted to talk some more. I immediately sort of realized that she was going to want me to masturbate and I was horny so I turned the TV volume down a bit lower and sat up on the bed a bit and we started to talk.
What she asked me about reminded me that we'd started talking about this on New Years Eve, I guess, was the last time. She looked at me and said again what she'd said just about a week ago - she said she liked thinking back to last year (end of 2014) and how that night had been for us. As I said, we'd talked on NY eve this year and she asked me how I felt looking back at it. I told her that it turned me on and she told me that it turned her on to think that "it was the last time" (I didn't add "except for the 4 or 5 times over the summer" this time) and I hugged her and told her that it did turn me on sometimes to think about that. She pushed me more, to tell her more about how I felt and what I remembered. I told her that I remembered not wanting it to end and that I also remembered how when I felt the urge rising to stop trying to hold off for longer - and I have to say that it actually felt good telling her that - in the end, that knowing it was the "last time" in my head, that I remembered being so excited to finally cum in her and know what it meant when I pulled out of her.
By now she had unbuttoned my lounge-pants and had pushed my boxers down and was playing with the head of my now stiff cock. She asked me to tell her more and last nigh it felt good to tell her. She asked me how it feels to me to "not feel me" when we have sex now. I told her as I was now stroking my cock that I can still feel her in so many ways, and then added, but at the same time, knowing I can't feel her makes it almost more exciting to know why. I noticed she too was rubbing herself, first through her pants, but then with them and her panties pushed down as she confided in me that she too is aroused at how it feels to have sex with me with a condom on.
I was stroking away as was she and I could hear her pussy was getting wet from the sounds her fingers were making, she didn't have her legs spread wide apart or anything, just her hand tucked in between her legs. She asked me to tell her more and it was one of those times when it just felt good to talk openly to her so I told her that it really turned me on that she enjoyed the sex with him so much. She asked me in the sexiest of voices if "it still turns you on that I want him and not you sometimes?". I grunted back "sometimes? seems like all the time" to which she sort of moaned/giggled and said "well, is that still what turns you on?"
I knew what she was asking me - was I still into being the beta. As I stroked my cock I turned towards her and I told her that I never wanted to lose her but that yes, it still turned me on very much that she shared herself so intimately with Paul and I think I was actually really happy to tell her feeling so comfortable that yes, I did still want it. She moaned for a moment and I know I saw her push her fingers into her pussy as I said that and I think she like held them still and if anything that she tightened her legs and muscles around them. There was definintely a few moments of silence until I heard her breathing again and she just said "that really makes me feel special honey".
We talked for a few more minutes but I was already so close and she'd obviously just cum that with just a little more teasing from her I told her I was about to cum and she got up on one elbow and turned to watch me. I have really come to love masturbating in front of her like this. She loves watching me and I love the arousal I see on her face. I try to hold off as long as possible but seeing one of her hands under her night-shirt obviously playing with her breasts just turns me on so much as I stroke away that it just feels so good to let it go. I do love the look on her face as she watches and then, my god, the sexy smile on her face as she plays with my cum is just priceless.
Surprisingly she was the one who fell asleep fast last night, not me.
I guess she could tell last night and today that I'm kind of horny and I suppose I should have known to expect this - but it does sting a bit to have her tell me that although she too is horny, she looked at me and said she wants to wait till tomorrow when she can be with Paul. She told me I can go masturbate if I want or need to but that this is one time she doesn't want to have sex with me, as she put it, "not when I'm this horny". She told me that I can wait till tomorrow night when she might want to be with me, or that I can wait till then to masturbate with her but she said she'd rather that I didn't do it around her till then. She said that with a smile on her face so I suspect that later tonight if I started in bed that maybe she'd join me or "help" me along, but then she's just as likely to send me off to the office or to simply turn over and leave me be. All I can say is that while I do wish she wanted to have sex with me, at the same time I am so enjoying the feeling of just being so horny for her right now.
She did remind me that we'd talked about this very thing, and I knew that it was when she'd given me those coupons how she'd said that there was going to be a time when I was going to want her and they would be my only option if she wasn't in the mood for it. So I guess this is one of those times when I am not so sure about being the beta for her and I suppose I should gird myself for the weekend away, especially if they haven't seen much of each other beforehand. It's funny, I can almost see the horniness in her right now and I just have to say that while yes, I would love to ravage her in our bed right now, at the same time, I am just so turned on by knowing she wants Paul to satisfy her and that she wants him to fuck her.
I say all this because at the same time, we had a really nice day together today. We went out with out the kids and first stopped at her parents which always makes her feel good that I want to see them. After that, the cloudiness and dreariness cleared off a bit so we stopped at this park near her parents house with a nature-trail around it. It's sort of between where they used to live and where they are now and as we walked around we stopped and saw a whole herd of deer just hanging around in the distance - one big buck and what looked like a few smaller in the distance and what looked like 6 or 7 younger ones. She found it very romantic to see them and we stood in a small clearing in the trees where we could see them - I say she found it romantic because as we watched them we turned to each other and leaning her back against a tree, we kissed and made out like teenagers for a few minutes. When we stopped kissing, the deer had moved on and we walked through the rest of the park holding hands and talking about maybe lighting a fire in our fire-pit for tonight and hanging out with the kids before the venture out tomorrow for most of the day.
She did remind me that we'd talked about this very thing, and I knew that it was when she'd given me those coupons how she'd said that there was going to be a time when I was going to want her and they would be my only option if she wasn't in the mood for it. So I guess this is one of those times when I am not so sure about being the beta for her and I suppose I should gird myself for the weekend away, especially if they haven't seen much of each other beforehand. It's funny, I can almost see the horniness in her right now and I just have to say that while yes, I would love to ravage her in our bed right now, at the same time, I am just so turned on by knowing she wants Paul to satisfy her and that she wants him to fuck her.
I say all this because at the same time, we had a really nice day together today. We went out with out the kids and first stopped at her parents which always makes her feel good that I want to see them. After that, the cloudiness and dreariness cleared off a bit so we stopped at this park near her parents house with a nature-trail around it. It's sort of between where they used to live and where they are now and as we walked around we stopped and saw a whole herd of deer just hanging around in the distance - one big buck and what looked like a few smaller in the distance and what looked like 6 or 7 younger ones. She found it very romantic to see them and we stood in a small clearing in the trees where we could see them - I say she found it romantic because as we watched them we turned to each other and leaning her back against a tree, we kissed and made out like teenagers for a few minutes. When we stopped kissing, the deer had moved on and we walked through the rest of the park holding hands and talking about maybe lighting a fire in our fire-pit for tonight and hanging out with the kids before the venture out tomorrow for most of the day.
Well, she's off getting her nails done and then she's going over his place. When we talked more last night she was empathetic to what I was feeling and she told me she knew I was horny for her "but this is what you wanted" and I told her it was, that even though I was really horny, that a part of me wanted her to go to him today. She did say that she was horny and that knowing it's what I want is still a part of why she's doing this but she also looked at me and said that "I want to cum with him baby" and I knew that implied not-with-me.
When I didn't go off an masturbate last night she knew that I wanted to share it with her and she said that she did love that I wanted to share sex in other ways with her and this morning before she left she told me that if I waited till later when she gets home, that she would "share the fun with you" and she added that "you'll get to fill a condom before we go back to work baby, don't worry, okay..." and she kissed me and she said "I know you need it with me tonight".
I have to say that her atttitude yesterday was something I was taken off-guard by but shouldn't have been surprised by. I should have known she would be reluctant to have sex with me when she's not seeing Paul as regularly. I do admit it made me question my beta desires when I thought it was a time when we normally would have had sex together and I guess it's a reminder that if I do want to be the beta, that this is what I will need to not only put up with, but for me, to actually want. I know that I felt some alpha urges again last night and I did feel some desires that I had thought I wouldn't necessarily feel - but after they passed, I felt the same feelings that I have now for several years. I know that if I would have fucked her last night, even with the condom on, that if she would have let herself go, she would have cum like a fountain with me - I could just tell - and in some ways, I surely did want to see, feel and give that to her.
I know that Peak and Raks and others won't understand it but when that alpha desire passed and I was able to just enjoy the intense arousal I was feeling and enjoy the heaviness in my balls and that my cock is continually leaking all day today - it's so strange to say that I enjoy that so much - and now, to know that yes, Peak she'll be throwing-me-a-bone and likely not terribly into letting me fuck her later, but that she will do so also means to me that she wants to - whether to make me feel good, to share or maybe rub-my-face (hopefully!!!) in what she's done with Paul, or because she wants to share it with me - whatever, that she'll let me fuck her later simply means she wants it and knowing that is all I need to want to wait for her.
I am honestly so turned on right now that she wants him to be the one to scratch-her-itch and make her cum like she wants to. In some ways it just seems so erotic to me that she is going to his place to have him fuck her and she's then coming back home. As if she needs to "feed" her pussy periodically - so hot to think about.
When I didn't go off an masturbate last night she knew that I wanted to share it with her and she said that she did love that I wanted to share sex in other ways with her and this morning before she left she told me that if I waited till later when she gets home, that she would "share the fun with you" and she added that "you'll get to fill a condom before we go back to work baby, don't worry, okay..." and she kissed me and she said "I know you need it with me tonight".
I have to say that her atttitude yesterday was something I was taken off-guard by but shouldn't have been surprised by. I should have known she would be reluctant to have sex with me when she's not seeing Paul as regularly. I do admit it made me question my beta desires when I thought it was a time when we normally would have had sex together and I guess it's a reminder that if I do want to be the beta, that this is what I will need to not only put up with, but for me, to actually want. I know that I felt some alpha urges again last night and I did feel some desires that I had thought I wouldn't necessarily feel - but after they passed, I felt the same feelings that I have now for several years. I know that if I would have fucked her last night, even with the condom on, that if she would have let herself go, she would have cum like a fountain with me - I could just tell - and in some ways, I surely did want to see, feel and give that to her.
I know that Peak and Raks and others won't understand it but when that alpha desire passed and I was able to just enjoy the intense arousal I was feeling and enjoy the heaviness in my balls and that my cock is continually leaking all day today - it's so strange to say that I enjoy that so much - and now, to know that yes, Peak she'll be throwing-me-a-bone and likely not terribly into letting me fuck her later, but that she will do so also means to me that she wants to - whether to make me feel good, to share or maybe rub-my-face (hopefully!!!) in what she's done with Paul, or because she wants to share it with me - whatever, that she'll let me fuck her later simply means she wants it and knowing that is all I need to want to wait for her.
I am honestly so turned on right now that she wants him to be the one to scratch-her-itch and make her cum like she wants to. In some ways it just seems so erotic to me that she is going to his place to have him fuck her and she's then coming back home. As if she needs to "feed" her pussy periodically - so hot to think about.
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Steve,
Nice narrative there. I can see exactly why you want what you want at the moment. In your position it IS more exciting to wait than to release. It is more exciting to have Sue involved, even marginally, than to do it alone, and I can't fault you for any of it. You may have now gone further than I personally think I could cope with or be happy with but that is of no consequence to my understanding how you feel. I can see the conflict in you but also where the balance of that conflict lies for you. Enjoy it, you've earned it and willingly paid the price.
As to Sue sharing when she gets back, I would say that may be some of the price she also is willingly paying but it is also a mark of her love for you. Enjoy that too.
Nice narrative there. I can see exactly why you want what you want at the moment. In your position it IS more exciting to wait than to release. It is more exciting to have Sue involved, even marginally, than to do it alone, and I can't fault you for any of it. You may have now gone further than I personally think I could cope with or be happy with but that is of no consequence to my understanding how you feel. I can see the conflict in you but also where the balance of that conflict lies for you. Enjoy it, you've earned it and willingly paid the price.
As to Sue sharing when she gets back, I would say that may be some of the price she also is willingly paying but it is also a mark of her love for you. Enjoy that too.
Well, it was quite obvious that she NEEDED to see Paul yesterday. At times I can't always see the anxiety or stress or tension that she may be feeling, at least not until it is relieved.
I admit it did hurt to hear her say what she said to me. But she is and was right and I did want her to go see Paul. I guess my support even over my angst was viewed positively by her. When she came home early last night she was incredibly warm and loving and very cuddly. She apologized for being sort of cold to me about things and admitted that she herself is still getting used to her own desires. She admitted that she felt torn between going to see Paul yesterday or taking me aside for a while - but she said honestly to me that while she still likes to know she is making me happy, that she also looked at me and said that some of what she's feeling is true, that she felt a strong desire to want to be with Paul yesterday instead of me. I told her that was okay and that it really did turn me on.
She hugged me and said she knew that was true and that she believed me, but she also said that she didn't want to hurt me if she hadn't wanted to be sexual with me when she came home and she asked me how that would have been, if she'd have come home and not wanted to share herself with me. Before I could answer her she said to me that "it is going to happen at times baby" and she said that's when she feels bad about me always wanting to wait to cum with her - and it's why she said again that if I want to wait for her, that she loves that, but she also said she'd actually be very touched and turned on if I'd told her that I was so horny or so worked up that I couldn't wait. She told me that knowing I was that horny and had to relieve myself is something that she says, rewards her and lets her know what she's doing does really turn me on.
So when she came home and confirmed neither kids were home she was very open and very allowing with me. She let me undress her in the bedroom including pulling off her damp panties. We talked and once she knew I was in a good place, she told me how horny she was when she was with him and how good it felt to let her mind and cares go and to get into bed with him. She'd already told me that he was quite horny for her and that sex the first time was awesome when she looked at me and said "do you want to lick me?" and with that she lay back on the bed and slowly spread her legs for me.
Will I ever tire of seeing her pussy like that? So used looking, so swollen, reddened and yes, still oozing wetness. She saw the smile on my face as I leaned in and told her how beautiful she looked and how horny I was. As I started licking her I was so happy when I felt her hand on my head and heard her say "uuuuh, he came a lot baby.... both times....." - and at first I thought she was going to be guiding me to just "stay on the outside" but no, not last night, her hands guided me right to her sweetness and as she felt me licking her deeply, wow did she respond.
Yes, she was still quite ripe with Paul's cum, my god, he must have really needed her too. I won't say it came flowing out but for as long as I licked or sucked at her, I'll admit that it tasted like Paul the whole time.
She orgasmed with me licking her - her hand holding my head just-so as I heard her moaning rise in pitch and then turn into a much more sensual sound. Her orgasm was pretty intense, back arching and crying out - including a gush of wetness when she did let loose. But seeing her relaxed and spread wide afterwards lying on the bed post-orgasm was just a beautiful sight for me. Her eyes were open even if they were glazed over as I knelt proudly between her spread lets and rolled a condom on. I swear my cock was standing straight out like I was a teenager with it bobbing away as I left a little pinch of room at the tip. She was visibly wet so there was no lubricant needed and I have to say, even with the condom on, I could so so feel her heat and the wet slickness inside her. She wrapped her legs around my back and with a series of grunts and groans, guided me into her. It was only when I was fully in her and starting to stroke in and out that she looked up at me and again started to tease me a bit. She told me how wet she felt and how good Paul had felt in her.
I managed to tell her that I wasn't going to last long and she squealed at that saying how hot it was that I was so horny for her. She pulled her legs back for me and told me "go for it honey, I'll be there with you" - and so be it. Her pussy opened up inside and all I could think about was Paul having her bare and feeling her so deep inside. She goaded me on telling me "how good it feels" and sure enough - not more than a minute or two later I felt the urge rising incredibly. Her eyes opened wider and she grunted "oh god I can feel you so thick in me" or something like that. I admit I felt a bit of an alpha thrill when I hooked her legs around my arms and I started fucking her how I wanted and needed. I tried to hold on as long as I could and sure enough, just as I felt the end approaching for me, I felt her body start to shake and tremble and I saw her head start to thrash back and forth. Wtih my last bits of control - I held off just long enough. Finally I let go with what I have to say was one of the best orgasms I've had in a long time - and as she felt me finally let go - she too let out a shriek and had I not been holding her legs, she would have thrashed such that I would have popped out of her - but I held her tightly and it seemed to intensify her own orgasm - a moment after I let go in the condom I felt her entire body shudder - and then a few moments later we both lay there exhausted.
She was all smiles and again complimented me on just how much it looked like I'd enjoyed myself as she slid the condom off my now softening cock. The tip of the condom seemed so filled with cum that it even made me feel a little proud - but then again, I knew I'd had a load building for a few days - and there it was. But there's something about the look on her face when she's holding the filled condom that is just so intense. She still says to me how erotic it is to hold my cum in her hand like that - and she always takes the time to emphasize to me how much it turns her on that it's not inside her. I thought she might spill it out of the condom or do something else with it but instead she just tied it in a knot and nonchalantly tossed it into the trash.
We talked a little more - I sometimes want to ask her how she feels simply tossing the condom into the trash as I wonder if she has any thoughts at that time or if it's just nothing to her. But after the kids had come home sort of late last night, as we lay in bed she rolled over to me and asked me if i"d given any more thought to what she'd said to me the other day. I wasn't sure what she was talking about as we've talked a lot - but she said/reminded me that she'd started to ask me about what I used to do when she was seeing Don and I found myself very anxious when she wasn't going to be having sex with me. It took me a minute to remember what she was saying until she reminded me and said "you know, when you'd do it a few times.... you know, you said it sort of helped". I did remember - and I told her that I had and I asked her what she was thinking and she said to me that she wondered if I did that, would it help me to enjoy the ski-weekend more if I wasn't so horny or anxious or wanting sex as much. I held her as we talked and watched TV and she reached behind me and felt that my cock was nice and soft and she giggled "I guess you don't need any more tonight!". I told her honestly that it might be okay and yes, it surely would make it so that I wasn't so horny for her- but I also told her that I had loved the anxiety and arousal I'd felt on Saturday night and I admitted to her that I had wanted to jerk-off while she was in the room with him when we're away - and when I told her that it would make me feel more of a part of it if I got to cum "along with you" (when I heard her), she smiled and said "as long as it's good for you baby".
I admit it did hurt to hear her say what she said to me. But she is and was right and I did want her to go see Paul. I guess my support even over my angst was viewed positively by her. When she came home early last night she was incredibly warm and loving and very cuddly. She apologized for being sort of cold to me about things and admitted that she herself is still getting used to her own desires. She admitted that she felt torn between going to see Paul yesterday or taking me aside for a while - but she said honestly to me that while she still likes to know she is making me happy, that she also looked at me and said that some of what she's feeling is true, that she felt a strong desire to want to be with Paul yesterday instead of me. I told her that was okay and that it really did turn me on.
She hugged me and said she knew that was true and that she believed me, but she also said that she didn't want to hurt me if she hadn't wanted to be sexual with me when she came home and she asked me how that would have been, if she'd have come home and not wanted to share herself with me. Before I could answer her she said to me that "it is going to happen at times baby" and she said that's when she feels bad about me always wanting to wait to cum with her - and it's why she said again that if I want to wait for her, that she loves that, but she also said she'd actually be very touched and turned on if I'd told her that I was so horny or so worked up that I couldn't wait. She told me that knowing I was that horny and had to relieve myself is something that she says, rewards her and lets her know what she's doing does really turn me on.
So when she came home and confirmed neither kids were home she was very open and very allowing with me. She let me undress her in the bedroom including pulling off her damp panties. We talked and once she knew I was in a good place, she told me how horny she was when she was with him and how good it felt to let her mind and cares go and to get into bed with him. She'd already told me that he was quite horny for her and that sex the first time was awesome when she looked at me and said "do you want to lick me?" and with that she lay back on the bed and slowly spread her legs for me.
Will I ever tire of seeing her pussy like that? So used looking, so swollen, reddened and yes, still oozing wetness. She saw the smile on my face as I leaned in and told her how beautiful she looked and how horny I was. As I started licking her I was so happy when I felt her hand on my head and heard her say "uuuuh, he came a lot baby.... both times....." - and at first I thought she was going to be guiding me to just "stay on the outside" but no, not last night, her hands guided me right to her sweetness and as she felt me licking her deeply, wow did she respond.
Yes, she was still quite ripe with Paul's cum, my god, he must have really needed her too. I won't say it came flowing out but for as long as I licked or sucked at her, I'll admit that it tasted like Paul the whole time.
She orgasmed with me licking her - her hand holding my head just-so as I heard her moaning rise in pitch and then turn into a much more sensual sound. Her orgasm was pretty intense, back arching and crying out - including a gush of wetness when she did let loose. But seeing her relaxed and spread wide afterwards lying on the bed post-orgasm was just a beautiful sight for me. Her eyes were open even if they were glazed over as I knelt proudly between her spread lets and rolled a condom on. I swear my cock was standing straight out like I was a teenager with it bobbing away as I left a little pinch of room at the tip. She was visibly wet so there was no lubricant needed and I have to say, even with the condom on, I could so so feel her heat and the wet slickness inside her. She wrapped her legs around my back and with a series of grunts and groans, guided me into her. It was only when I was fully in her and starting to stroke in and out that she looked up at me and again started to tease me a bit. She told me how wet she felt and how good Paul had felt in her.
I managed to tell her that I wasn't going to last long and she squealed at that saying how hot it was that I was so horny for her. She pulled her legs back for me and told me "go for it honey, I'll be there with you" - and so be it. Her pussy opened up inside and all I could think about was Paul having her bare and feeling her so deep inside. She goaded me on telling me "how good it feels" and sure enough - not more than a minute or two later I felt the urge rising incredibly. Her eyes opened wider and she grunted "oh god I can feel you so thick in me" or something like that. I admit I felt a bit of an alpha thrill when I hooked her legs around my arms and I started fucking her how I wanted and needed. I tried to hold on as long as I could and sure enough, just as I felt the end approaching for me, I felt her body start to shake and tremble and I saw her head start to thrash back and forth. Wtih my last bits of control - I held off just long enough. Finally I let go with what I have to say was one of the best orgasms I've had in a long time - and as she felt me finally let go - she too let out a shriek and had I not been holding her legs, she would have thrashed such that I would have popped out of her - but I held her tightly and it seemed to intensify her own orgasm - a moment after I let go in the condom I felt her entire body shudder - and then a few moments later we both lay there exhausted.
She was all smiles and again complimented me on just how much it looked like I'd enjoyed myself as she slid the condom off my now softening cock. The tip of the condom seemed so filled with cum that it even made me feel a little proud - but then again, I knew I'd had a load building for a few days - and there it was. But there's something about the look on her face when she's holding the filled condom that is just so intense. She still says to me how erotic it is to hold my cum in her hand like that - and she always takes the time to emphasize to me how much it turns her on that it's not inside her. I thought she might spill it out of the condom or do something else with it but instead she just tied it in a knot and nonchalantly tossed it into the trash.
We talked a little more - I sometimes want to ask her how she feels simply tossing the condom into the trash as I wonder if she has any thoughts at that time or if it's just nothing to her. But after the kids had come home sort of late last night, as we lay in bed she rolled over to me and asked me if i"d given any more thought to what she'd said to me the other day. I wasn't sure what she was talking about as we've talked a lot - but she said/reminded me that she'd started to ask me about what I used to do when she was seeing Don and I found myself very anxious when she wasn't going to be having sex with me. It took me a minute to remember what she was saying until she reminded me and said "you know, when you'd do it a few times.... you know, you said it sort of helped". I did remember - and I told her that I had and I asked her what she was thinking and she said to me that she wondered if I did that, would it help me to enjoy the ski-weekend more if I wasn't so horny or anxious or wanting sex as much. I held her as we talked and watched TV and she reached behind me and felt that my cock was nice and soft and she giggled "I guess you don't need any more tonight!". I told her honestly that it might be okay and yes, it surely would make it so that I wasn't so horny for her- but I also told her that I had loved the anxiety and arousal I'd felt on Saturday night and I admitted to her that I had wanted to jerk-off while she was in the room with him when we're away - and when I told her that it would make me feel more of a part of it if I got to cum "along with you" (when I heard her), she smiled and said "as long as it's good for you baby".
Sounds like an awesome round of sex and a great time talking. I'm pretty sure you will be amp'd up the entire weekend even if you don't jerk-off to empty before you go away on the ski trip! Do you think she is just trying to make sure that you don't get too worked up that you "need" her or make her feel guilty that she isn't sexual with you at all? Would it be harder on you to have to have low arousal after you masturbate and them be the mating pair or would it be better for you not to come at all and wait so you don't get down? I say, don't masturbate at all, just edge the entire week until she is ready for you!
Far2 - I don't feel any sort of decreased cuckold arousal after I masturbate or after I cum or have an orgasm.
Yeah, my cock is deflated and I feel awesome but I never feel any of the changes in feelings or desires that I think others sometimes feel. I just don't. I'm as eager go go down on her after I cum as before I get to cum and I'm as eager and comfortable seeing her with Paul before/after cumming too.
I do think she is gearing me up for the ski-weekend as I really do think that she wants "to be his" that weekend as fully as she can - and yes, that means she doesn't want to feel like I need her or to make her feel guilty. I know it's going to be a bit harder on me than last year, they were still very new with each other (comparatively) back then and I suspect that this time around, they will be much more out in the open about things. I do want to do this - it's something that i think I've maybe wanted to experience for a long time now - it seems like it's going to tweak all the things that turn me on and more. But that doens't mean I don't have my concerns. I mean if they're just all over each other and all they are doing is fucking or other stuff and not hanging out in the condo living room at times like normal people, then yeah, it's going to be a lot harder on me.
Yeah, my cock is deflated and I feel awesome but I never feel any of the changes in feelings or desires that I think others sometimes feel. I just don't. I'm as eager go go down on her after I cum as before I get to cum and I'm as eager and comfortable seeing her with Paul before/after cumming too.
I do think she is gearing me up for the ski-weekend as I really do think that she wants "to be his" that weekend as fully as she can - and yes, that means she doesn't want to feel like I need her or to make her feel guilty. I know it's going to be a bit harder on me than last year, they were still very new with each other (comparatively) back then and I suspect that this time around, they will be much more out in the open about things. I do want to do this - it's something that i think I've maybe wanted to experience for a long time now - it seems like it's going to tweak all the things that turn me on and more. But that doens't mean I don't have my concerns. I mean if they're just all over each other and all they are doing is fucking or other stuff and not hanging out in the condo living room at times like normal people, then yeah, it's going to be a lot harder on me.
Steve,
You are unusual in not feeling any different after you come. Simply because of the chemicals released into your bloodstream by such an event, it would be normal to feel differently even if only for a short time until your desire had re-ignited. Maybe, like on New Years Eve you are able to get back into the groove quickly. In which case Sue's plan to totally deflate you before the skiing weekend might just have a more sharply felt impact which you should try to prepare yourself for. The risk is that the angst could become unbearable. A situation that I'm equally certain is not what Sue is planning for.
It does seem that Sue has her own plan for how she wants her next skiing weekend to go. She is going to great lengths to prepare your mind if not your body for what you are about to endure. Unfortunately she seems to be doing most of the preparation when you are at your most excited and thus not actually thinking clearly about what it will actually feel like away. That may be why she is repeating the message so often, to make sure you do think about it, and by your post here it seems to be working. It clearly is going to be a balance thing for you. The excitement of the totally cuckold experience offset by the pain of denial and emotional contact. I think it's a net gain for you overall but it may be a closer run thing than you think during it at some points. Remember, this last weekend you felt real pain when Sue was so stark in her denial of you before Paul's turn. You coped with that because of her promise to deal with you when she got back (making it three in one day for her, unlike last time). The reconnection was great for you, I'm sure such days help to make it all worthwhile, but imagine when you know there will no reconnection and not even a non contact supervised masturbation. The high is going to have to be big to offset the low. What a rollercoaster though!
You are unusual in not feeling any different after you come. Simply because of the chemicals released into your bloodstream by such an event, it would be normal to feel differently even if only for a short time until your desire had re-ignited. Maybe, like on New Years Eve you are able to get back into the groove quickly. In which case Sue's plan to totally deflate you before the skiing weekend might just have a more sharply felt impact which you should try to prepare yourself for. The risk is that the angst could become unbearable. A situation that I'm equally certain is not what Sue is planning for.
It does seem that Sue has her own plan for how she wants her next skiing weekend to go. She is going to great lengths to prepare your mind if not your body for what you are about to endure. Unfortunately she seems to be doing most of the preparation when you are at your most excited and thus not actually thinking clearly about what it will actually feel like away. That may be why she is repeating the message so often, to make sure you do think about it, and by your post here it seems to be working. It clearly is going to be a balance thing for you. The excitement of the totally cuckold experience offset by the pain of denial and emotional contact. I think it's a net gain for you overall but it may be a closer run thing than you think during it at some points. Remember, this last weekend you felt real pain when Sue was so stark in her denial of you before Paul's turn. You coped with that because of her promise to deal with you when she got back (making it three in one day for her, unlike last time). The reconnection was great for you, I'm sure such days help to make it all worthwhile, but imagine when you know there will no reconnection and not even a non contact supervised masturbation. The high is going to have to be big to offset the low. What a rollercoaster though!
Peak - well, I won't say I feel the exact same. If I haven't cum, I'm usually on the edge of my seat, especially if I'm there/watching, etc., after I cum, well, I guess I still like to watch but you are correct, not nearly as intently or at the edge of my seat. I guess what I was saying is that my desires overall and my arousal at everything doesn't really change too much. I have read where other guys are all into it until they cum and then they can't stand what is going on or feel upset/annoyed, that doesn't seem to happen to me.
All I can glean from Sue at this time is that she just wants me to feel comfortable when it's going to be her and Paul and not her and I. All she's said so far is what she's already told me, that she and Paul "have fun" when they're together. It's been a while, I guess since they stayed here when I saw a moment of their naked-tickle-chase, was perhaps the last time I've had a glimpse of how they are together. I'm quite sure that they are like we were when we were first dating and if they are, to be honest, I really do want to see her feeling that way, feeling sexy all the time when she's around him and not being shy about it.
Gotta run.
All I can glean from Sue at this time is that she just wants me to feel comfortable when it's going to be her and Paul and not her and I. All she's said so far is what she's already told me, that she and Paul "have fun" when they're together. It's been a while, I guess since they stayed here when I saw a moment of their naked-tickle-chase, was perhaps the last time I've had a glimpse of how they are together. I'm quite sure that they are like we were when we were first dating and if they are, to be honest, I really do want to see her feeling that way, feeling sexy all the time when she's around him and not being shy about it.
Gotta run.
Peak - well, I won't say I feel the exact same. If I haven't cum, I'm usually on the edge of my seat, especially if I'm there/watching, etc., after I cum, well, I guess I still like to watch but you are correct, not nearly as intently or at the edge of my seat. I guess what I was saying is that my desires overall and my arousal at everything doesn't really change too much. I have read where other guys are all into it until they cum and then they can't stand what is going on or feel upset/annoyed, that doesn't seem to happen to me.
All I can glean from Sue at this time is that she just wants me to feel comfortable when it's going to be her and Paul and not her and I. All she's said so far is what she's already told me, that she and Paul "have fun" when they're together. It's been a while, I guess since they stayed here when I saw a moment of their naked-tickle-chase, was perhaps the last time I've had a glimpse of how they are together. I'm quite sure that they are like we were when we were first dating and if they are, to be honest, I really do want to see her feeling that way, feeling sexy all the time when she's around him and not being shy about it.
Gotta run.
All I can glean from Sue at this time is that she just wants me to feel comfortable when it's going to be her and Paul and not her and I. All she's said so far is what she's already told me, that she and Paul "have fun" when they're together. It's been a while, I guess since they stayed here when I saw a moment of their naked-tickle-chase, was perhaps the last time I've had a glimpse of how they are together. I'm quite sure that they are like we were when we were first dating and if they are, to be honest, I really do want to see her feeling that way, feeling sexy all the time when she's around him and not being shy about it.
Gotta run.
Steve,
Thank you for your response.
It appears that your usual Wednesday being supervised was missing this week or perhaps you didn't have time. It will be interesting to see how the remaining days before you go away progress as Sue builds both you and herself up for the big event. I'm sure it would help for example to get at least a day or two of Paul staying with you overnight (or maybe you staying at his place) just to get you in the right frame of mind.
I know you have done all this before but this time feels like it is going to be a bit more edgy than before. You must be excited as well as a little apprehensive. Has she shared any of her preparation plans with you at all?
Thank you for your response.
It appears that your usual Wednesday being supervised was missing this week or perhaps you didn't have time. It will be interesting to see how the remaining days before you go away progress as Sue builds both you and herself up for the big event. I'm sure it would help for example to get at least a day or two of Paul staying with you overnight (or maybe you staying at his place) just to get you in the right frame of mind.
I know you have done all this before but this time feels like it is going to be a bit more edgy than before. You must be excited as well as a little apprehensive. Has she shared any of her preparation plans with you at all?
Peak - no - tonight is still on, Sue's again on the phone with her sister right now but she playfully pulled up the front of her night-shirt and flashed me just a few minutes ago which went along with her playfulness earlier so I am confident/hoping for some fun yet tonight!!!!
I have been quite busy at work again including having to go into the office tomorrow so the reality hasn't fully set in and I suspect it won't really until this weekend which is a holiday-3-day weekend here as we have Monday off from work.
I have been quite busy at work again including having to go into the office tomorrow so the reality hasn't fully set in and I suspect it won't really until this weekend which is a holiday-3-day weekend here as we have Monday off from work.
Alas, a quiet week. We did enjoy our fun on Wednesday. In some ways I think she misses it too when things don't work out. She's watching the end of some chick-flick movie so I had a little more time before she comes up to bed.
I am excited and yes, I suppose edgy is a good description. Sue shared a bit more on Wednesday night with me. She reminded me of how she liked to feel when she's at Pauls, like with earlier guys and she came out and asked me how I was going to be if she's like that with Paul when we're away. She said she wanted to be able to enjoy the weekend and enjoy him too and that she wanted to make sure that if she was sitting around with him in just a long-button-up shirt or something like that cuddling with him that I was going to be okay about it. I admit it was a little more explicit when she said it and it took me a moment to answer. She added that I could always go into the bedroom if I wanted to get away from them but she hoped that I was going to be okay.
I asked her how Paul was feeling about this and she said she'd been working on him for a while too. I didn't tell her but as she talked and I tried to listen to what she was saying I really realized that she really has taken the alpha position over both Paul and I in some ways. As she told me that she's been telling him that I am okay with it and that he should feel comfortable following her lead. At another point she said she told him what I am sure he already knew since I said okay to the whole thing, but she made a point to tell me that she told him again to remember what I'd said to him, that I liked them fucking and I didn't mind it.
She must be getting some coaching somewhere for this because she seems to be turning it on a bit more with me. Her last thing she said was again that she wanted to see him this weekend and hoped for tomorrow but hasn't confirmed it yet. When I was going to complain though she looked at me and smiled and said "with Monday as a holiday, I thought we could be together on Sunday night then". She kissed me and then whispered "but that's going to be it till after the weekend away baby, okay?" and she kissed me again.
So in a way - this is going to sound crazy, but in a way, rather than fight it, I'm going to try to embrace it and just let the weekend happen and try to deal with whatever it brings. I'm laughing in my head because, in some way, I wonder if she is trying - as best as she can - to fulfill my oldest fantasy about her from long ago where we are at a ski-resort and the next-door condo has a bunch of guys in it, and you know where it goes from there. When I shared that fantasy with her part of it was her openly having sex with other guys, again, if there is still my pleasure behind it all for her, then could this be a part of it? Or am I being way too optimistic? Either way, how bad can it really be.
After I'd cum on Wednesday night and she was playing with it and letting me lick her fingers off she asked me I'd thought about her suggestion to make the weekend easier on me. At the time she said it I had the thought she did so just so she could be there with me and play with it until I couldn't cum any more. But I actually told her no, that I wasn't going to want to do that and I told her that I wanted to enjoy it in my own way as best as I could and that if I was really getting into it, that I wanted to be able to orgasm when I wanted to. She hugged me and kissed me and laughed and she said that she'd even talked to Paul about that (I cringed for a moment) and she said that's what he'd said I'd do that there was no way I'd not be able to jerkoff over the weekend. I must have had that look on my face because she immediately said "relax honey, he really doesn't think anything bad about you" and she kissed me.
It feels kind of surreal that it's simply going to just happen next week - that a week from now very likely they'll be in bed together while we're away in Vermont. It gets me horny already to think about it.
I am excited and yes, I suppose edgy is a good description. Sue shared a bit more on Wednesday night with me. She reminded me of how she liked to feel when she's at Pauls, like with earlier guys and she came out and asked me how I was going to be if she's like that with Paul when we're away. She said she wanted to be able to enjoy the weekend and enjoy him too and that she wanted to make sure that if she was sitting around with him in just a long-button-up shirt or something like that cuddling with him that I was going to be okay about it. I admit it was a little more explicit when she said it and it took me a moment to answer. She added that I could always go into the bedroom if I wanted to get away from them but she hoped that I was going to be okay.
I asked her how Paul was feeling about this and she said she'd been working on him for a while too. I didn't tell her but as she talked and I tried to listen to what she was saying I really realized that she really has taken the alpha position over both Paul and I in some ways. As she told me that she's been telling him that I am okay with it and that he should feel comfortable following her lead. At another point she said she told him what I am sure he already knew since I said okay to the whole thing, but she made a point to tell me that she told him again to remember what I'd said to him, that I liked them fucking and I didn't mind it.
She must be getting some coaching somewhere for this because she seems to be turning it on a bit more with me. Her last thing she said was again that she wanted to see him this weekend and hoped for tomorrow but hasn't confirmed it yet. When I was going to complain though she looked at me and smiled and said "with Monday as a holiday, I thought we could be together on Sunday night then". She kissed me and then whispered "but that's going to be it till after the weekend away baby, okay?" and she kissed me again.
So in a way - this is going to sound crazy, but in a way, rather than fight it, I'm going to try to embrace it and just let the weekend happen and try to deal with whatever it brings. I'm laughing in my head because, in some way, I wonder if she is trying - as best as she can - to fulfill my oldest fantasy about her from long ago where we are at a ski-resort and the next-door condo has a bunch of guys in it, and you know where it goes from there. When I shared that fantasy with her part of it was her openly having sex with other guys, again, if there is still my pleasure behind it all for her, then could this be a part of it? Or am I being way too optimistic? Either way, how bad can it really be.
After I'd cum on Wednesday night and she was playing with it and letting me lick her fingers off she asked me I'd thought about her suggestion to make the weekend easier on me. At the time she said it I had the thought she did so just so she could be there with me and play with it until I couldn't cum any more. But I actually told her no, that I wasn't going to want to do that and I told her that I wanted to enjoy it in my own way as best as I could and that if I was really getting into it, that I wanted to be able to orgasm when I wanted to. She hugged me and kissed me and laughed and she said that she'd even talked to Paul about that (I cringed for a moment) and she said that's what he'd said I'd do that there was no way I'd not be able to jerkoff over the weekend. I must have had that look on my face because she immediately said "relax honey, he really doesn't think anything bad about you" and she kissed me.
It feels kind of surreal that it's simply going to just happen next week - that a week from now very likely they'll be in bed together while we're away in Vermont. It gets me horny already to think about it.
Steve,
Over the last six months your tone has changed a little. Now you are more embracing of your situation. The reluctance to fully admit it is still there but it's less. The excitement of being the beta to Sue and of admitting it to yourself is higher. It gives you a confidence in yourself as you are that was not always there. As if you were a little ashamed previously. It's good to see. I still think you could snap part way back if you really wanted to and Sue needed you to. I know that if Sue took another lover after Paul who in any way disrespected or hurt her you would act decisively and ruthlessly with him. For now, you are what you are and what Sue is happy with. It's good to see you happy with it.
Over the last six months your tone has changed a little. Now you are more embracing of your situation. The reluctance to fully admit it is still there but it's less. The excitement of being the beta to Sue and of admitting it to yourself is higher. It gives you a confidence in yourself as you are that was not always there. As if you were a little ashamed previously. It's good to see. I still think you could snap part way back if you really wanted to and Sue needed you to. I know that if Sue took another lover after Paul who in any way disrespected or hurt her you would act decisively and ruthlessly with him. For now, you are what you are and what Sue is happy with. It's good to see you happy with it.
- Status
