If you feel like you are somewhat stalled...
Hi Maturemom,
Regarding your goal of "taking control" vis-a-vis your husband, you might give some thought to an interesting comment made by Elise Sutton. (It's buried somewhere deep in her web site.)
Paraphrasing: "Many men who perform poorly in bed have secretly-submissive personalities with respect to their wives. They want their wives to take charge of the sexual aspects of their relationship... they have never felt confident and may actually be fearful of doing that themselves... but they have never been able to say so because of societal expectations that the man must be 'macho' and 'in charge' of sex."
My impression, from your forum comments and your blog descriptions of your interactions with your husband, is that he may be (read, probably is) such a man.
However, with regards to your blog comment about taking control: moving your husband from admitting his fantasy to you (at which you were successful, very impressive) to actually acknowledging your right to step up to the status of cuckoldress, may be easier said than done. If you feel like you are having problems at this point, you might find "Making Him Mind" of interest at:
http://femalesupremacist.org/subject2_training_him.html .
It's a sub-page of "The Fine Art of Queening." See:
http://femalesupremacist.org/subject_queening.html
(which you may also find of interest; it might become more relevant later on).
From your writings, my impression is that you are very likely capable of carrying out the program, so to speak, outlined by the author of "Making Him Mind." I suspect there's a good chance you could do it successfully.
Good luck! I hope you will continue to keep us updated.
Best wishes—
Custer
