Sue's "new Guy"

[SoonToBe]

Enigma - I think you've mis-read my posts, I never mind cleaning her up. Quite the opposite, I actually quite enjoy it when she is into it. She and I have discussed this a bit and I think even posted that she would like more of this in the future. There's a bit more to this but that's for a later time.

We talked briefly last night when we were in bed. Actually seeing her undress and put on her nightie got me hard and she giggled that I can "take care of it" if I wanted and she reminded me that tomorrow (now tonight) would be Wednesday and "if you wanted to wait....". It was obvious she'd prefer I waited (although a part of me didn't want to).

When she got into bed a few minutes later she smiled that I'd decided to wait and I said to her "yeah, I was hoping to talk for a bit". She said sure and that she was all ears so I pretty much asked the questions that Enigma posted in one simple question "can you tell me more about what you are thinking for 2018?". She was quiet for a moment and to make it easier on her I added "not specifics but you must have some idea?". Before she could start to answer I turned to her and I told her that I knew she wanted "more with Paul" and I also told her that I knew it was going to mean more denial (I may have said more-extensive) for me, so she would understand more of what I wanted.

Rather than recapping the somewhat short conversation exactly - the essence of it is that she isn't sure yet because she isn't sure how her desires for Paul will grow or change. I told her I understood that so I told her to tell me "what if he's 'pretty close' to what she's hoping for". She smiled finally and said that since I seem to truly want to hear what she is thinking "if everything was great" and she smiled and said "okay". She seemed genuinely hesitant and uncertain as she talked and she said several times that it even feels weird to he to talk or think about it at times. But in essence she said that she hoped that I would accept what she wanted and she confirmed that meant eliminating penetrative-sex with her (I did have to clarify that with her that it wasn't all sex). I told her that I loved her and that I was okay/accepting us trying this which prompted her to talk more and a bit more openly/freely. She just shared her thoughts at first - how sexy and feminine she wanted to feel - that she was sure it was going to make her more sexually aware and wanting it more. She also told me it turned her on to deny me and she added "knowing that turns you (me) on". I asked her what she meant and she explained that as she got into it more with Paul, that she knew from the past that she was going to want him more and more and she made a point to tell me that when that happened, she wanted it less and less with me. I asked her if she enjoyed denying me and she smiled and said again that it does, but that it's not just how she feels alone - but she did say that if the sex is good with Paul and if she feels good about how I'm feeling - then she seemed a little reluctant to say "... yes baby.... when things are right, it is fun to deny you....".

So none of that really surprised me but it did confirm what I thought (and now know). I think I said something "... so... about next year...". She started again by saying "well, I'm not sure...." but when she saw me looking at her she did start to talk. She said that she wanted to feel consumed and where she feels she wants him and when she's not with him, that she finds herself getting horny/wanting him. At several times she said that she didn't want to hurt me but that she "... wants my pussy to want him ...". It was so erotic to hear her getting lost in these thoughts, letting her inner sexual desires come to the surface. She looked over at me when she realized she was getting lost in thought and smiled. She said "okay?" and I said "well, I kind of guessed at most of that..." and then I added ".... so.... how long do you think this will take?". She was quiet and said in a voice that I recognized as honest - that she wasn't sure but then added "... a few months?" with a big question sound in her voice. I nodded and it immediately seemed to calm her and she said hesitatingly "... just not sure how many baby...." and she started to say that it depended on how it made her feel and she immediately added "and how you feel". I told her that I understood that which again made her almost smile and I just told her that I knew we'd played like this before and that we'd made it a few months and I told her I was okay with trying it again and I made sure to add that I'd enjoyed it. She smiled and said "thanks" to which I added that sometimes knowing what she's thinking including if she hasn't figured it all out yet made me feel better.

Not sure if that answers things, but it's at least a step forward. I'm thinking that I may hear more about this tonight?

 

[dana007]

Steve
Great update keep us posted.

 

[SquirmingSub]

I have to say the last few month have been showing some interesting developments. Some of this was predicted in years past that it might lead down the path it is going.

 

[Curt Bruch]

Thanks for sharing Steve; it sounds as if you are settling into another lap of a familiar circuit you have travelled before. (Does CWS have an offer on bulk-buying condoms? Seems like you might be needing them!)

 

[Enigma632]

Enigma - I think you've mis-read my posts, I never mind cleaning her up. Quite the opposite, I actually quite enjoy it when she is into it.

Oh, I know that you don't mind cleaning her, it was meant to be a joke that obviously didn't come across electronically. Do you use the British expression "tongue in cheek" in America?

 

[SoonToBe]

Ahh - sorry Enigma - I missed that.... lol
Curt - no - actually the opposite as she has started to remind me that I'll only need a dozen or so more with her.
That was actually part of what we talked about more last night. Again, lying in bed naked next to her stroking my cock, it just seems easy to talk to her and vice-versa. She was the one who started teasing me about starting a countdown. I know she amped it up to tease me even more but I also know she likely hasn't shared all of her feelings and desires yet. But as I said, it felt good - and I told her she was turning me on. She in turn kept teasing and kept encouraging me to tell her how I feel. I probably should be more careful about what I say to her but at the same time it just feels so great being able to finally sort of tell her some of the thoughts I have and to even also share some of the more extreme ones.

As I stroked I said a lot of stuff as she did back. She again told me how she wanted to only have Paul in her next year and asked me how I felt about it. I told her that it felt crazy to tell her that I did want to try it out and as I stroked my cock I actually told her that I wanted to have a period of time where "this is all I'll have". She wasn't masturbating but I could tell she was worked up as we talked. I told her honestly that I knew it was going to hurt and that I was going to have second thoughts but I did manage to tell her that I did want her to want him the way she's saying. She told me that what we were doing now, using condoms again was turning her on again and she told me that it was really making the sex with Paul something even more special and she said that "he's starting to get it..... how I want to feel and be treated...". I groaned back that I saw some of that when he was last here. She smiled and reminded me that he's spending Saturday night here again this weekend and that she also said they've been talking and that she's "guiding him along". I asked why they weren't going to see each other today (Thursday) and she said that she honestly had made plans to get her hair done after work tonight so that's where she is right now.

There wasn't much earth shattering in terms of more than that teasing and talking - we shared a lot of the same things. She repeated something that she's said before and I told her that it make me very anxious to hear her talking about it but at the same time I told her that it also excited the heck out of me. She said that if she's with Paul enough, that by some point next year, that she says we'll have "forgotten" how each other feels sexually. She teased me that she'll be "all his" when that happens but that she also then said she wants to look forward to the time when we'll reconnect and rediscover each other. I told her that talking has me scared the most that it's pretty far to come back from - but she pointed out that it's not so much a matter of how much time in terms of weeks or months, but that it was actually something that she wanted to feel from me - that I was going to let her go and that she wanted to see that I was going to be okay about it. I told her that I still didn't like that thought but that at the same time I had to be honest and tell her that it also turned me on in a crazy way.

Needless to say - our conversation continued for a little longer but I was already quite aroused and once she got me back to fully hard by easing my concerns - she sat back on the bed and said she just wanted to watch me and told me that I should enjoy myself. I do love putting on a show for her like that and last night was no exception, including telling her when I was getting close and finally when I was about to let go. She moaned softly as I pumped my load out onto my stomach and chest and then said how erotic she still found it to watch me cum like that. As I expected, she played with and then scooped my cum onto her fingers and she let me lick/suck them clean and she immediately kissed me.

 

[peakmb]

Two to three months, first shot. Then, all of next year only Paul? Maybe you can be excited about the former but the latter is putting you in a different place entirely. Which is it?

 

[SquirmingSub]

I think the two to three months was the testing of the water to see how you would feel. It does sound as if Sue would like to be able to take this next step without any time restrictive commitments. If Sue was truly seeking for you to openly and freely be okay with and about "letting her go" from a sexually penetrative stand point; it is likely that she would prefer absolutely no time frame (no schedule) for a penetrative reconnect.

If this is something that you are truly agreeing to; Sue would be correct in saying that she'll be "all his" when that happens and if you are truly serious about this path; you should seriously consider where this could lead and if you are committed to the path in which Sue has laid out for you both as a couple, there would be less stress for Sue if you both allowed for any reconnect on a penetrative level to be during the natural order of things, something much more organic and not on a predetermined time table. That way you both can truly look forward to the time when you both may reconnect and rediscover each other. In the mean time, as she said, she'll be "all his" when that happens and as she said, by this same point in 2018 you may have indeed have "forgotten" how each other feels sexually.

I am not saying I agree with or disagree with this path although many of us that still follow your threads have seen the roller coaster since she has been seeing Paul and you had admitted your beta desires to Sue. Are you truly ready to commit to an unlimited time frame of Sue being penetrative exclusive with Paul? If you are, are you going to be okay with the consequences or rewards depending on your view point?

 

[SoonToBe]

I don't fully understand it all myself but the more time that goes by and the more we talk and talk openly about it, the more I want to experience it. Could I ever fully forego sex with her ad-infinitum as in forever, no, I don't think that would work for us in the long term. But as we've talked and as I've re-read a lot of what has happened in the past I do feel that I am in a different place now than even last year or earlier this year. I can't be specific but I am definitely a lot calmer than I was and when I re-read how I felt after the ski-weekends, I can recognize how I felt and how I seemed to almost feel like I was suffocating in a way. But I can also read back to prior to there and that's where I can say that I feel differently.

I don't know that i can explain how it excites me to think about abstaining from sex with her for a while - even a long-while. When I think of times, for me - I feel so weird sharing this like this - but I would like to see if we can go 4 months or so without having intercourse with her. The thought of essentially giving her to him like this is amazing to contemplate and think out. I do know that there will be times like I felt in the past where I will need some significant form of reconnection with her at times - especially after longer times with Paul - but I would like to know ahead of time that until x date - that this reconnection will not be a sexual one for us.

Time to head into work but I thought I should share some of my own thoughts and desires rather than just what she wants. I am quite clear on what she wants - even if she's not sure herself. I don't think she truly wants this to be a permanent state between us - but she has wanted this hard-break for us for a long time now, at least several years, that if I am mentally at the point where I can accept it - then I think it's the right thing to do. As she's pointed out several times too - and as others have said here - I didn't like the condoms at first but now I feel 180 degrees opposite - this too will be something that feels awkward and anxious now, but I do think that if she continues what she's said she will do - involve me in other ways, etc. - that again, it's something I can more comfortably accept and embrace. I actually can understand some of her feelings - I mean it's been over 30 years where she's continued to view me as her sexual partner, it sounds weird to say it but I can actually accept that she needs and wants some time with me completely out of that role.

 

[SquirmingSub]

Steve - Thank you for your reply this morning. Very interesting and will be looking forward to reading more as you and Sue continue down this path together.

 

[peakmb]

It seems we are all destined only to repeat history, either ourselves or those around us without much benefit od learning the lessons of such. I know I have done it, I'm sure many readers here have and unfortunately for Steve, we have it in writing that he's done it, and is about to do it again.

Cause and effect Steve. Is your happy and content feeling right now because you are truly ready to go without the intimate pleasures of your wife or because you have just enjoyed a whole summer of bareback sex which at the time of the skiing weekends, you weren't expecting any of at all? By not looking back, you seem to believe it is because now you are ready. Me, I'm not at all sure. I think it's because after so long truly back with your wife you are happy, content and confident again. Not what you were in February this year, or indeed February last year either when the same thing happened more or less. You have now tried several times to start a form of denial intending it to be long lasting only to find the disconnect it creates too hard to handle over any term longer than a couple of months. I know you have gone beyond that, but in an increasingly jumpy state where the odd condom fuck tried to stretch you over the next period, or a Wednesday tease scratched the itch for a short time like a ruined orgasm.

The simple fact is that you are not ready yet, but clearly Sue is. Indeed she seems more determined than ever to create the disconnect necessary for her to truly feel she belongs to Paul. The very state that blew you away every time you have previously tried it. Dress it up all you like with extra talks and sweet nothings, you will find as before that the core thing you need is precisely what you can't have. I think the only way you may manage it is for Sue to very carefully monitor your true state, (difficult because you will invariably not tell her the truth if she asks,) and break the fast when she deems it is required. Doing so may set her target back a few days for her to get her rhythm back, but might just enable her to extend the whole experiment to get close to her target state. I can't see it happening without it.

 

[far2easy]

YOLO Stb! Go for it!

 

[SoonToBe]

Peak - I cannot disagree with anything you've said - except that I do feel that I am mentally in a different place. Honestly, I do think it is more of my beta-me coming out and more of my alpha-me receding. I don't know that in either of the past 2 years when we tried this that I had an honest look-back at not how prepared I am now vs. then, but how I responded and to know ahead of time what the possible triggers are - for both of us to know that.

I do know that Sue is more than ready to try and do this. That is clearly obvious to me. But even there I feel differently - I actually sort of understand what she's saying and I know it will sound crazy but I want her to have what she wants. She's described it as feeling like a teenager again with an "itchy pussy" as she called it.

I guess I'd just add that I know this is going to hurt and be painful - as I said - rereading the past has reminded me of that. But again there, I think I know what I'm getting into (or won't be getting into as it may be) and I do think that if she and I can talk about it and - I should add - if she will share more with me, then I don't think its going to be quite as much of a big-deal as in the past. For example - and I just thought of this as I'm writing this - but had she invited me in, or had she come to my room during that last ski-trip and offered me to go down on her and lick her and share the experience with her (and even with him) - I don't think I would have minded jerking-off as my release. I'm hoping (and will tell her to be sure) that she is aware of this - and I'm hoping that what I understand her to be saying is that if she truly feels she can "be his" that it may be easier for her to share with me and not feel like it's detracting or taking away from what she's doing, but maybe enhancing it. It doesn't have to be every time - but if it were to be offered up more frequently, I actually think it might be a huge step forward. I know she still may not want me to bring her to orgasm that way, but for me - sharing her and cleaning her up, even if it's just the outside - would be something I would truly enjoy.

 

[SquirmingSub]

Steve - It sounds as if you are truly beginning to fully embrace your beta side. For this to work, you both have to have a great foundation for your marriage, for your relationship, and be great friends (best friends). Sue will need to be able to come to you not only as her husband, she will need to be able to share with you as if you are a best-friend also. Hopefully you are truly ready for this and good luck on your path...

 

[Enigma632]

if she will share more with me, then I don't think its going to be quite as much of a big-deal as in the past.

The key thing is "IF she will share more"

I will watch with interest, but I get the impression that Sue's idea of "belonging" to Paul relegates Steve to the status of Best Friend so that her sexual energy is directed at Paul.

So yes she may tell Steve more about what happens, may let him watch more, may enjoy teasing him during his jerk-off sessions but to feel she is Pauls I don't think that her mindset will let Steve participate (well not much anyway)

 

[peakmb]

Well, to me this has all the anticipation of the bunch of hippies on top of the skyscraper in New York, welcoming the arrival of the alien spaceship in 'Independence Day'. Best intentions but ...

It is all very well to believe (or not) that Steve has finally got his head round being a beta now. That he can do what is required and so on. There is just little or no evidence that Sue has embraced / accepted / understood what she needs to really do to be the Alpha. She wants Paul to dominate her more or at least be more equal, but there is little chance of him becoming more Dom or even Don like. She herself commits the crime of failing to really care for and understand her sub. She takes his word for how he is feeling (when he doesn't really say what that is). She breaks her promises and commitments, she doesn't spend the quality time in alternative activities to make up for the time spent with Paul (what holidays together this year, for instance), and she is now stressing that she is actively wanting to create a situation where she doesn't need Steve at all (or as Enigma says, want him present much when she has sex with Paul), while failing to say how she will need him even more in alternative ways. She needs to learn, they both need to learn and this step in 2018 has all the hallmarks of learning to swim by being thrown into the deep end of the pool.

Don't misunderstand. I don't doubt at this point either of Steve or Sue's desire to go ahead with this plan, only their ability over its extended period. The great danger is it all implodes with Steve barely hanging on by his fingernails (but not saying it) and Sue so close to her desired state that she doesn't want to stop. Both frustrated, but Sue not seeing her husband as any sort of desirable sexual being, and not wanting or immediately capable of switching back.

Clearly this is just my opinion, and I've probably exaggerated it to make a point and to counter a little the sugar coating elsewhere. I truly even hope I'm wrong. I'm just worried I'm not.

 

[SoonToBe]

LOL - she is so cute. She was so horny last night in bed - she even teased me at one point by sitting back against the headboard and letting me see her as she lazily rubbed herself and probed into her pussy. She smiled at me and said she just "wanted to see how wet I am". I stared and she smiled and told me she liked showing herself to me like that.

This morning she teased me about how this will be like it will be in the future with her being with Paul and me not having her (till next weekend now). I told her I was horny thinking about it. I think her teasing would have continued but she just got a text from Paul that he's "playing another 9" before coming over now later this afternoon.

Gotta run - she's just downstairs straightening up - I laugh at her that she wants the place so neat for when he gets here only to mess it up once they get into it. She punched me as she walked by and giggled about "paying later" when I watch them together so who knows. All I can say is that even I'm eager for him to get here.

 

[SoonToBe]

Well, he's due here in about 30 minutes and he's bringing dinner for all 3 of us. Sue has said she wants to have the 3 of us talk a bit over/after dinner "before the fun starts". That's all she's said so I'm kind of curious as to what she has in store.

 

[SoonToBe]

Can't share all of the conversation but I can say that Paul appears to have taken things to heart with Sue and is truly trying.
He actually told Sue to come over to the couch and suck his cock while I was sitting there across from them.
I watched for a few minutes and he looked over at me - with his cock still in her mouth and his hand on the back of her head and he just said to me "give us a few minutes, okay?".
I went up the stairs but stayed and peeked in on them and I watched her suck him for a moment longer and the he pulled her head up and turned her to be on the couch and I just left him licking her pussy while he kneels on the floor.
I'm going back down now - I don't want to miss a thing.
I should add that before he showed up Sue asked me to jerk-off so that I would be less anxious tonight - so far it's working - I'm horny and aroused but it's not boiling over!

 

[far2easy]

Have fun Stb, i hope you enjoy the evening and get a good taste of creampie! Wonder what time Paul will ask you to go to your room tonight?