Sue's "new Guy"

[SoonToBe]

Okay - it's now 1am and Sue just kicked me out of bed because I just can't fall asleep. We talked more tonight and after I told her about my rising concern about what she wants me to do with Paul on Monday she looked at me and said "it's really just for fun baby... it'll make me feel all sexy and really - is it anything you haven't already told him or done with us already?". I asked her what she thought about what Paul was saying about how it will make her feel and she just said "I think you are making a lot out of nothing honey" but when I said I was concerned she looked at me and told me that I needed to calm down and that if it was really something that bothered me that I didn't have to do it. I tried to explain how I was concerned about it making her see me differently - but as I started to try to explain it she just looked at me and said "I already know all that about you". She held my hand and said "but if there is a chance that this will make it easier for me... then I would like you to think about it....".

I wanted to talk more and I told her I wasn't going to be able to fall asleep and after 30 minutes of lying there she rolled over and told me to "go into the office and 'take care of yourself' if that's what you need to do".

I feel like I'm walking on the edge of a cliff - it just feels crazy to have all of this in my head.

 

[Enigma632]

I can see that from Sue & Pauls viewpoint this is not much more than what's been talked about already, although maybe for Sue it would give her an extra validation of what she wants to do next year.

However from your point of view there's a big difference from a "passive" acceptance that your wife's pussy is going to be exclusive to another man and an "active" act of physically giving her to him. I suppose that it could be even worse if they wanted Steve to put Paul's cock, sorry penis, into Sue's vagina for their first New Year fuck

I am perhaps a little surprised that Sue can't see this, but I guess that she is so excited by her thoughts of next year with Paul that maybe her concern level for Steve is dropping a bit

 

[SoonToBe]

I got some PM's as well as Enigma's update above and my concern is, and I'm not sure how to explain it to Sue, is that Paul may have been reading up on the web about things. What I picked up on was what Sue said - that it needs to be something I do 'voluntarily' - I know I read about that somewhere on the web in the past as part of some beta/cuckold site that it can signify something to the wife when the husband does something like this. Not necessarily humiliation - really just what Sue said, that it will help her transition her desires. I know that she's right, that we've said and done all of this before - but it's never been as part of a bigger plan of hers. I know she's said that I/we don't have to do this but at the same time, if it is truly what she would like - then I am also inclined to go along with it. As she said, it'll be what 5 or 10 minutes of time.

It also is kind of concerning in a way - although it's what we have all said we wanted - but it does seem to me that Paul has been 'learning' and becoming a bit more aggressive/demanding with her and now with what he wants. I can see she is very aroused by it and it is obviously helping her towards the weekend and all of that.

It feels weird but I want to let this happen. A part of me still does feel as Sue has said at times, that I am reluctant to truly let this go and let it happen despite how it turns me on. A part of me is so anxious and apprehensive - she has intentionally left the night-stand drawer open with the 2 condoms in it several times now - I mean I can't believe that I'm possibly only going to feel pussy 2 more times. But at the same time - again this morning seeing her naked in the bathroom - a definite hint of dark-shadows around her pussy from her pubes growing in - but nonetheless - seeing her naked. I cannot deny that a huge part of me is anxious to have the next 2 days go by and to be moving on with this already.

 

[peakmb]

Steve,
You have it in your heart to give Sue the gift she desires above all this Christmas. One which she has tried to take for three years now but one which she can only have if you give it, and give it freely. I do not believe it is sensible, or practical, or even loving to promise to give her this gift for any fixed period and for the same reason it failed before. It only works while it is still extended willingly and with love. If your will fails, if you believe your love is in danger of being lost from either side, if you cannot continue to extend it, then the spell breaks and great damage could result if either of you continue beyond that point. I have no idea when that point may come. It could be six weeks, six months, a full year or even longer but it still seems the will of you both that it will cease and so something, somewhere will see to that. By the end I am sure it will be you that ends it, so it may be that Sue is frustrated in her goal or enjoys her blissful state for only a short time. So be it, that is the price she must pay to go where she wants, and a small one in comparison.

As to how it starts, just remember that whatever you do, or say, or act out, it can only be embarrassing or demeaning to you if you and you alone perceive it to be so. Even if Sue and possibly even Paul intend it to be that way to any degree. Maybe it is easier to see it like an actor playing a role, with passion and intent but a role. One that can be shrugged off afterwards in such a way that it does not affect your soul. Another gift for Sue though, if it helps her to start in the way she wants and hit the ground running. As ever, whatever Paul says or does is of no consequence to such an act. He remains but a cipher, his key role starts precisely where yours currently ends. He only interacts with you in any meaningful way if you allow him to, whatever Sue may think or want. Don’t forget though that he comes with his own insecurities, which Sue will know far better than you. She has to get him to play his enhanced role, just as much as she has to get you to accept it.

I believe the key thing for you and your positive mental state is not to think about the future, not to commit to any hard dates going forward but instead to allow yourself to enjoy or even sometimes endure each day as it comes. That way you can feed from Sue’s increasing joy without worrying how it may end. Take pleasure from each non penetrative act with Sue without thinking when your next entry will be. If you attempt to fix a date you will fixate upon it and not upon the present. So whatever Sue says, evade when it comes to an end point. You’ll know when it’s over, but that won’t be for a good while yet.

 

[SoonToBe]

So I heard from several people who had as many different responses. Some reflected Peak's sentiments above to focus on the present and what feels good right now and not the future which is unknown. I did get some validation on my concerns about possibly a deeper impact on Sue by way of what she/we have planned for Monday. They shared the same concern as me that this could trigger changes between us that won't be easily reversed. However, they all - and yes - all - said in the end that it really is what I want that matters most. The thought being that if I do truly feel and want to be the beta-male - that I should go along with it and then what happens will happen but it will be initiated by something I want - thereby putting the blame/guilt on me if things don't go well.

Only one person shared the thought that Paul's cumming in her so much has had an influence on her desire. But as I swapped notes with them they agreed that it may not be a hormonal thing - but she sure does love to have him cum in her and she may just be associating that pleasure more.

I'm feeling very stoic tonight - I've been thinking a lot about what I do want. It feels very strange to say it but I do feel much calmer when I put myself in the mode where I accept and go into the beta-ness without a way to back out of it.

And perhaps that is maybe what i fear most. Yes, she continues to say that if I truly need to feel her that she will never say no - but I am also very realistic in realizing that it has been a long time since she's said that to me. I don't think my fear is going into this - its that right now, perhaps it's a fantasy, but a part of me does still feel that I could rip off the condom and fuck her till she can't take any more. And I guess - my biggest anxiety is that I believe that will not be available to me either immediately, or more likely, something that happens more over time. So, I don't know that I'm ready to give up PIV sex altogether forever, but at the same time, I want her to go into this with the mindset that she wants which is to not talk about or, as I started out by saying, to only focus on the short-term and not the longer.

I don't know if this makes any sense or if anyone is really reading this - but it does feel good to at least put my concerns down on paper so-to-speak and know that they are what they are.

 

[peakmb]

Steve,
It may not last long at all. Either of you could crack after a few months, but right there you are focusing on the time, not the event. Your elastic is stretching and has been for a few years now. Your ability (and probably desire) to snap back reduces with every month you go forward, but you can and will return to some base state after this period is over. Three times in different posts you have used the term 'forever'. Sue has not used it, and I'm sure doesn't intend it. It isn't helpful for you to start by thinking about it. Don't forget, you still have your monthly time out sessions to discuss progress - both of you. Use them wisely.

 

[far2easy]

Enjoy the day STB, go with your desires, yolo!

 

[bevw]

Maybe it's time to start a new thread titled Sue's "New Year".

 

[Enigma632]

Just enjoy your New Year's Eve pleasure as much as you can without worrying about January.

 

[SoonToBe]

Bev - yes - this thread turned out to be misnamed after all - but all in all, Paul does seem to have some 'new' things going on.

Our kids are going to be on their way within the next hour or so - Sue is out shopping with our daughter right now and our son is downstairs on his phone finalizing his plans for the night. Both have said they will not be back till late tomorrow afternoon (lol - both are old enough to plan ahead for hangovers!).

I'm so on edge. Every time I have a few moments - and now at the computer - my cock is literally leaking. There's a wet-spot on my boxers. I go from moments of intense arousal at having her tonight - and knowing I'm surely horny enough to use both condoms for sure - to the thought of those being the last two which pulls me down for a bit.

I've been looking at the pictures I have of her - of her naked and trying to imagine not being intimate with her after tonight. I think I am driving myself crazy with all of this - and yet I just can't make light of it.

It feels weird to be aroused at seeing her pictures and thinking that is all I'm going to be doing - seeing her after this. A part of me is truly scared shitless about this. But at the same time, my cock is so hard and as I said - literally oozing - that I know it's something I want and even need to do or at least try.

I think for me - I won't be able to make that decision - to accept that I truly want to be and remain beta - or that I can't take it for the longer term - I won't be able to make that decision until after we've begun. I do want to do this willingly and even encouragingly for her if not for me. I bought some good champagne for tonight as well as some of her favorite foods to snack on while we drink and get cozy as it begins to get dark out. She's said she wants this to be "like she does with Paul" where their sexual encounters will last the entire night sometimes. I do feel like I could fuck for hours with how my cock feels so she may yet have one last intimate evening with me.

Wish me luck.

 

[peakmb]

Steve,
I'm pretty sure that once you start tonight that luck won't be required but something that rhymes with it will be.

Tomorrow however is another thing. Do all that you are comfortable with, work with Paul to make Sue's experience as good as you can (remember he's probably nervous too), and good luck.

 

[dutch12]

Steve, may the New Year bring you everything you expect!

 

[Knk069]

Happy New Year Steve. Enjoy using your final two condoms tonight. You have a lot happening and I think I can speak for all your readers when I say we admire you for your perseverance in facing what is coming. Personally, I am envious that my wife won’t take me on a similar journey. I am thankful that you do such an excellent job detailing your ups and downs.

Your apprehension about formally handing Sue over to Paul tomorrow is understandable. It would mark a major change in the relationship, much more than if she simply went to Paul. It would clearly and emphatically transition you immediately to the new dynamic instead of drawing it out. Only you can decide whether it is better to have a lot of pain immediately or lesser pain over longer time.

In a way, your dilemma reminds me of how I parted with a beloved sports car. Our family reached a point where we needed to get a family car. It was painful for me and I almost couldn’t to say goodbye to a source of joy. I almost went somewhere else when the young man came to pick it up. But I decided that it would be best to make a clear break. I looked at the car, said a silent goodbye, and turned to him. As I handed the keys to him, I said, “This car is wonderful. I had a lot of fun with her. She is all yours now and I hope you enjoy her as much as I did.” That helped me make the break. (Oh course there is a HUGE difference between sports cars and vaginas!)

Happy New Year! Good luck.

PS: Dutch, don't you mean everything he expects?

 

[dutch12]

Yes, of course Knk069. Slip of the pen. Corrected it. Thx.

 

[azsurfer77]

STB:
Let me first say that I admire your courage in what you, Sue and Paul are about to undertake. I have seen through your writtings that Sue loves you immensely, and does not want to hurt you. You recognize your beta feelings, and the desire for Sue to experience sexual pleasure that you have come to realize you cannot completely fulfill to her expectations. You are allowing Paul, a younger man, to become your wife's sexual partner since he has the sexual stamina, and imagination, to bring Sue her desired sexual pleasure. He does not appear to threaten your marriage with Sue.

However, I also see you have many misgivings and concerns about what you are about to experience. Maybe these thoughts will help you in the near future.

You have said you want to be the beta in this relationship. This means you are willingly becoming the secondary male to Paul being the primary, or alpha male, in this relationship. You are NOT volunteering to be a subservient (sub) in this relationship, nor suffer any humiliation. Sue has fed your beta feelings in the past telling you she is glad your semen is not in her vagina, and how you will now even give up PIV sexual contact. However, she has never humiliated you in front of Paul, and is concerned about your welfare and spirit.

A suggestion for going forward is to relax and allow this to happen, but somewhat under your control. On January 1st, be willing to meet with Sue and Paul, undress Sue, present her to Paul and tell him he will be the only one to use her vagina for sexual pleasure, and then step back and breathe. Allow Paul to take control of Sue, shave her as she has suggested, then have sex with her, multiple times if it occurs. You can relax, maybe take a glass of Prosecco with you, and become a voyeur, sitting back and enjoying your own 'pornstars in action'. You will revel in Sue's sexual pleasure, and watching Paul enjoy Sue, knowing that she is being pleased in the manner in which she would like to be accustomed.

When Paul leaves, let Sue bask in her pleasure, as you take pleasure in her happiness. You already know you enjoy her superior feelings of confidence and empowerment. Let her know that you enjoy her having enjoyment. Provide her the romance she needs, but doesn't get in her liaisons with Paul, and support her. The more you relax and go with the flow, the sooner Sue will reach her fulfillment, and then look back to you for future support, when she gets her 'affair' out of her system.

 

[peakmb]

Mmm, this just like Apollo 13 re-entry again. OK going in, then complete silence until you knew they had survived..

 

[StudCaptM]

Steve
Capt M here, hope all went well yesterday, we are looking forward to see how your experience went with Paul & Sue. I hope it met all your expectations and then some! Happy New Year!

 

[SquirmingSub]

It is about that time for Steve to start a new thread.

 

[Enigma632]

I guess that he has a lot to process as well as work to do today

 

[SoonToBe]

Hey all. Not sure what to say, still kind of working through what we've done. Yes, things went more or less as planned, just that a lot more was said and that sort of stuff that's left me actually a bit numb right now.