where to start....
Okay - most recent question. Yes, I came to find out after-the-fact that (as I thought I'd posted) Sue has quite a bit of lingerie and other things at Paul's house. I joked with her at one point (perhaps not posted here?) about how it was tell-tale about how serious a relationship was by whether the woman had stored tampons and that stuff at the guys house. I know that in my conversation with her about it she told me that she had some things there that he'd purchased as well as that she'd left there - and in specifics she told me that there are a number of pairs of her panties there, as she put it "in case I need a clean pair". Similarly, I thought I'd also posted that Paul has left a few articles of clothing and other things of his at our house. More for her, but she has 2 of his dress-shirts, yes, in the closet in our former-son's room. She also has a pair or two of his boxer shorts.
Might as well continue this subject. Regarding our son's room - I do not expect that it becomes Paul's home-away-from-home nor do I expect Sue to move her clothes there. Instead, I actually do understand what she wants. To put it bluntly (and to mention something she's mentioned more than once) she (and he) doesn't want to look over to our dresser in our bedroom or the night-stands and see pictures of Sue and I together or things that remind her of our family. To put it bluntly - she wants a room for fucking that has no reminders in it that she's my wife and the mother of our children. I do get it - actually from what we talked about all week - I understand it even more.
Much of the week was spent with her confirming and reassuring me about what we're doing as well as the obvious and continued need for me to reassure her that I do want to try this. She was very candid, as she's said many times now that we need to be able to talk about everything. I do feel confident that this truly is mainly sexual for her - any reference to Paul revolves around sex and not "spending more time together" as a result of all of this. It was a little hard to hear so clearly from her but at the same time it reinforced what I felt. She told me that Paul is the first person - other than me - that she feels totally comfortable with sexually - that when she is with him, that "it feels like it is when I'm with you" and she explained that it makes her feel alive to be naked with him and she emphasized that unlike a lot of guys in the past, she loves letting him see all of her - she teased me about now loving to lie there after he's cum in her and that she feels so comfortable doing that. I told her that I could understand that and she reminded me how wearing just his shirt was a part of that. At some point I asked her again about the whole bathroom thing and she looked at me and said that she wants him to be there. She said that it is something she feels she wants to share with him but also admits that she does not like it if I'm there or really near the bathroom when she is using it. "Is it because you're my wife?" I asked her and after a moment she said "maybe..... maybe that's it.... maybe that's not something a wife shares with her husband....?". I told her I was okay with it and I held her hand for a moment and I told her that "it's something I want you to feel free to do if you want to". She smiled and before we changed the subject I just had to ask her - "... would you do more than just pee with him in there?". She looked at me and said "ewww - peeing's a little sexy but that's not...." but a moment later she said "... I mean if I had to go though, I could... with him.... not you though.....".
Our conversations also included several times - including Wednesday night and this past Saturday night - of her very pointedly reminding me and discussing how I was feeling about - as she put it bluntly - how I felt about ".... giving up vagina". Just like that. Now, I have to say that she said something - actually more than once - because she clarified what she said by saying ".... let me say it this way... giving up my vagina". I stumbled around for words to respond the first time but before I did she looked at me and said that "... I've been thinking..." and she looked at me and said that ".... I don't want you going looking....." ... " .... but I suppose if you did find yourself able to be with another woman....." she quickly added "I don't want to know about it" and then went back to saying "... but if you did and you did... well.... this really is about me honey.... " and she looked at me and said ".... just be careful.... okay?" and she immediately added ".... but I don't expect you to be looking!!!!". I held her hand and I told her that I had no intention of looking for other women and that I wanted to feel and experience fulfilling our desires together and I told her that included other women. She smiled and said "okay sweetie... I love you.... but I would be okay if..... you know.. ". I shushed her at that point and I told her I didn't think it was going to happen "but if it does, I know how you feel".
It led to a bit more open discussion about how we were both feeling about this. She had told me several times that she felt that Paul being the only one cumming in her had played a role in how she felt about him. That sharing herself with him that much had really made her feel very comfortable doing this with him next year. She got up and went to the refrigerator and brought back the quart of milk - I thought for her coffee but she also wanted to emphasize something to me and she said to me "if it was just a little bit baby, I don't think it would have made me feel differently" and she looked at me and said "I think it was just, what... 4 times all year that you came in me, right honey?". It made me moan to hear her say that and when I nodded yes she smiled and said "I remembered that math we did one time....". And as she spoke I realized what she was saying and I tuned back in to hear the end of it as I expected "..... it's like almost a quart! can you believe that honey?!". She put the milk container down on the table and she said "... I get kind of shakey when I realize it's this much...". I told her that it gave me those same crazy feelings all over - the same as I get when I see her naked in the bedroom or when I hear her with him in the mornings in our bathroom. It's this crazy intense feeling of pride, desire, admiration and the crazy almost need to feel that I 'could have her' but love the feeling of not. She knew that it was something I felt strongly when I managed to tell her that it still "... turns me on that I am truly going to give up vaginal sex with you...". She turned to look at me and she was quiet - it's rare that I use the 'right words' - but I steeled myself together and I told her ".... it is a lot to think about... giving up your vagina...." and she knew it wasn't easy for me to say it but I did "... but it is something that I want to try - I want to know that part of you is not for me any more...". She was quiet as I think she knew there was more that I wanted to say and I let it go, it became a little easier as I kept talking. I told her "I know that is your most intimate and special place...." and I said it to her "... but I have wanted this for some time now... to experience that only being for Paul.... " and with a deep breath I looked at her and said "it turns me on too much to say no to it...." and I added ".... I love you and I hope this will bring us both feelings and experiences we both want". She let me talk more and I was honest about it - I told her that seeing the milk container had made me incredibly horny and I told her honestly that my cock was throbbing as she showed it to me. She blushed deeply and she began to talk to me about her feelings.
