I should have added, nice to see the change up in plans for this weekend. More by good fortune than planning for your benefit, but a result none the less. Hope you both enjoy your extended time together. It will be interesting to read about what Sue decides to fill the sexual activity time with that gives you both what you want.
Peak, I'm convinced that Sue will find ways to make Steve satisfied with whatever she does this week.
There is one thing I'm curious about. Last time Steve had one of the greatest nights watching Sue and Paul.
Maybe even better because he did ask Paul if he was allowed to be there with them.
I'm questioning myself if Steve each time will ask Paul permission to be there watching them having sex if Paul comes over to Steve's and Sue's house.
Or will there be weekends where he will not be allowed to watch (as happened last time in Paul's house) because Paul and Sue want to play without him present at all. Will he get more and more a "no watching tonight Steve/honey" from one of them.
Will it still keeping being hot for Steve if that's going to happen? I can't image.
Wonder if it wouldn't be helpfull for Steve to have a video or pictures for his private use only, to comfort him in alone time. I've never read Steve and Sue (+ Paul) discussed the possibility.
Not sure what to share about last night as I'm not sure everyone here wants to hear about Sue and I having sex. But yes, I did fill yet another condom with her last night. We talked a lot before and afterwards. She said several times that she knows that it must feel scary for me with what we are going to be doing and that she said Paul and her have talked a bit and she says that he is advocating for me and telling her that she needs to make sure I am doing okay. I asked her if that was also because he would like their exclusivity to work out and she said yes.
Apparently he is and has become aware and aroused that he is the only one cumming in her and she's shared that he likes this new thing between them and that he has said that he likes that I am using condoms with her. She said that my conversation with him last week wasn't expected and that it has made him more aware of his status with her.
When we got into bed yesterday we were talking openly and she pulled out the calendar and we looked at it together. She asked me if I was going to be okay seeing that we will very likely only have sex 4 more times. I guess she saw my anxiety and she repeated that she wanted to make sure this was going to be good for me and that she realizes this is a big step. And that was when she leaned in and said "baby, you know that it's not going to be forever...." and then she sort of whispered in a sexy voice "but can we play it that way baby?" and as I nodded my head yes and began to speak she interrupted me and said "I think it'll be better for both of us if we can both think of it that way" and she asked me if it scared me or turned me on to let myself think that way.
I told her honestly that when I focus on the permanent/forever part that it scares me, but when I think about her devotion to him, that it turns me on. When we talked more I told her that the permanence part scares me now because I think I just don't know how I'm going to be over time as she and I have been having sex for more than 35 years now. She smiled and said "that's one of the reasons I want to do this baby...." and then she said that she is sure that it'll be okay and again said "if you can just relax about it baby....". As she got undressed we kept talking and as we lay together in bed with her in just her bra and panties and me in my boxers we hugged and kissed together and she looked at me and said "we will always be able to do this together honey..." and I knew what she meant and a minute later she confirmed it when she took my hand and placed it over her panties and said softly "it's just this that we won't be doing". I moaned softly to her that hearing her say that turned me on. As I said that i realized I was over my ambivalence and anxiety and was horny enough to want to go along with it all.
When she opened the nightstand and got out a condom was one of the first times she looked at me and said that "it's getting to me now too that there are only a few more times for us honey" and we talked about it for a few minutes. She told me how my using condoms with her has made it easier for her to think about the future without me in her and I told her the same, that I haven't felt her bare in a long time now was also making it easier for me to accept. It was me that first mentioned how it turned me on that I haven't cum in her for a long time now and she agreed and also admitted that she now thinks there may be something to the whole hormonal thing of just him cumming in her and I said something back to the effect of "...just how much he's cum in you too..." which made her moan and tell me she was getting horny. She separated the condom from the others and handed it to me and I told her again how it turned me on to literally "give her" to him by using the condom and she smiled and said that she feels so sexy with him and that knowing he's the only one feeling her bare and cumming in her makes her horny to think about him.
She climbed up on top of me and took her bra off and then leaned forward and told me to suck at her breasts and as I did so she told me that "Paul likes when my nipples are hard" which made me groan and in turn - her move and groan and say out loud "well, feels as if someone's getting horny!". A moment later she giggled and rolled off me and pulled off my boxers and smiled at my emerging hard-on. I was surprised when she leaned down and gently sucked me to hardness - she pulled her mouth off and giggled and said "you don't get that yet...." - and she moved back into place only now she was rubbing her pussy against my hard cock through her panties.
I don't know what was said in the next few minutes as she slid her damp panties up and down my cock but I did finally hear her say clearly that "these need to come off" and with that she stood up next to the bed and slowly slid off her panties. As she stood there she reached over and placed my hand on my cock and then she started to talk to me. She asked me if I remembered when she had "hair down there" and how she used to let it grow out in the winter. I groaned back that she looked amazing bare like that and she giggled that "Paul likes it that way" and that she added that he'd never been with a woman who would do it and leave it that way much less do it for him. I groaned back that I loved looking at her body and her pussy. She giggled and put one foot up on the bed and she really started to get into teasing me - again with the proper nouns - telling me to "look at my vagina baby...." and "how wet Paul makes it inside" - and stuff like that. My response was to moan louder and louder.
Once we were on the bed together her tone changed a little and she started to tell me that she IS going to miss feeling me. I told her I felt the same and as we hugged she looked at me and told me I felt huge inside her. I'd like to say that we talked more but honestly, it became more of a series of grunts and moans and shushed screeches out loud as she enjoyed me grinding deep against and in her and she the same for me. I finally could take it no more and as she lay back and seemed to open up inside for me - I felt those amazing feelings and our movements became more one than anything. I could feel her go through a significant orgasm that had me following not too much after.
It was afterwards, after my cock had softened and I'd slipped out of her and she'd removed the condom that we started to talk more. We kissed and hugged and caressed each other. She told me she loved me and wanted to thank me again for what I was giving her. I told her that I thought the next 2 times were going to be intense for us leading up to New Years. She agreed and said that we should continue to talk more about it until we get there.
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Steve, you painted the picture once again of yet another intense yet bittersweet experience with your wife as you roll inexorably into next year. Written so well too.
After 35 years I can see why yet another session can be enhanced so much by wrapping it in other influences, but when you strip it out I wonder what it actually was. It wasn't a meeting of equals. Sue initiated, led and determined everything including the conclusion. I hope she was thinking of you not her prize when she had her significant orgasm because that triggered yours and the end of the session.
It was lovemaking by your recent definition but not equal and not fucking. You haven't done that for some time now and may not for even longer. I can't help feeling that Sue is simply going through the motions as she prepares in her own way for next year and doing only enough to give you the release that you need without connecting in anything like the same way or intensity that she does with Paul. Partially blinded by your excitement for the start of your experiment, the sad thing is that this seems enough for you.
I remain convinced that when the intensity of the start of 2018 burns out and when the reality starts to seep in, you will reach a point where you call a halt. I don't believe that Sue will witness this gradual change as you have never been able to voice it in the past, so your discussion sessions are going to have to be probing to get there. The risk is that Sue won't want to find it and you won't want to reveal it. We'll see I suppose.
In the meantime I'm sure that you remain exactly where you want to be and where Sue wants you to be. I'm equally sure that you are going to enjoy the next few months. I hope so because when the switch comes you will need to remember that too.
Peak - I'm sorry if I've described our sex as one-sided - it honestly didn't feel that way to me but I suppose from how I described it, you could conclude that. The timing of our orgasms was very delightful as feeling her climax was awesome to carry me over the edge too. But it truly was the conversation and feelings that accompanied that was key for me. It did make me feel good to hear her concern and yes, as I felt it, compassion in sympathizing with some of what she knows I will be feeling, even if it is what I want to feel.
I continue to really focus on us enjoying what I now like to refer to as both-sides-of-the-same-coin - namely her goal for exclusivity with him. She wants it to fulfill her desires, reassure her femininity and sexuality, and give her the feeling of lust and control that she wants. For me - I cannot describe it other than to want to feel her desire for him and her denial for me - I know I will regret it at some point - but as I've long shared - the mental aspects of our condom usage are far more fulfilling and satisfying than the physical aspects. Of course it feels wonderful to fuck her until I cum in her (in the condom) - but for me - the mental aspects of knowing I am not feeling her directly and to know that I won't cum inside her - and that only Paul will have those intimacies with her - those feelings are amazingly more fulfilling to me than the simple act of ejaculation in her. I know that losing the physical part will be substantial for me and far less so for her - and I'm sure that is where most here are focused. But for me - what I still cannot share adequately is the marvel, wonder, amazement and arousal that I have now about her - as I've tried to describe - seeing her naked now when I am not going to be having her leaves me with the most intensely satisfying feelings. Seeing her pussy - knowing how long it's been since I've felt it bare - and knowing that I may not for a long time - it is just a feeling that I cannot describe other than saying it seems to touch and satisfy so much of what I feel I've wanted to feel for her.
I have purposely kept quiet and wanted to congratulate you on attempting to be alpha and realizing your true nature was to be a beta. Bravo. Don't feel shame or feel limited. Realize how much you are really showing how much you love her in saying I love you as a person for you to get more sex, love, and passion.
Don't hate the exclusivity, learn to embrace the angst and the lust and desire you will continue to have for your wife. It will make those moments when you deposit your manhood essence into a condom or towel or hand or whatever .... that it will never ever touch your wife or another woman ever again ...
@peakmb I can see why you didn't think that this was a meeting of equals as, yes, it did seem to be led by Sue, but what I read into it was that Sue wanted to give Steve a great session and was for this reason that she led it to intensify things.
I'm sure that Steve was re-assured by her saying that "it's getting to me now too that there are only a few more times for us honey" and that "she IS going to miss feeling me".
While when she said "baby, you know that it's not going to be forever...." and then she sort of whispered in a sexy voice "but can we play it that way baby?" and as I nodded my head yes and began to speak she interrupted me and said "I think it'll be better for both of us if we can both think of it that way" for me at least does imply that Sue wants to pretend that it's forever while acknowledging that it isn't going to be.
If this session was a true reflection of both Steve & Sue's feelings then I almost wonder who will miss their intimacy first and whether Sue will feel the need to do something with Steve before he "breaks".
Enigma,
It is precisely because I think that Sue manipulated things to maximise Steve's pleasure that I have longer term concerns. To me is shows that although she gets less out of it herself that she is willing to do that to get what she truly wants next year. As to who cracks first, I think it may well be Sue that initiates with Steve before he insists but I think this will be tactical and perhaps lacking in some connection by her and purely designed to maintain and continue the experiment. It could even be deliberately bareback. Sue has done that three times with Steve now and it has worked each time to defuse potential or present tensions. The danger is that this is likely to mean an awful lot more to Steve at the time than Sue whose primary sexual need will still be on Paul. To get Sue back into a true emotional sexual position with Steve she is going to have to back away from Paul for a time, perhaps several months and I don't see her wanting to do this at any foreseeable time in 2018. I think it is obvious that this couldn't be ****** either. They are both going to have to be really careful how they wean themselves back. Even though they are both saying they want it to happen.
Peak,
I guess that I have a much more "rose tinted" view of Sue than you, maybe because I'm more influenced by Steve's view than you are.
Yes, she may be to a degree manipulating Steve to get what she wants, but I don't think that this is any more than any wives manipulate husbands (and vice-versa) and certainly not as deliberately as I've understood you to believe - whatever, it's good that we don't all have the same views and can discus them.
I do totally agree with you here:
"To get Sue back into a true emotional sexual position with Steve she is going to have to back away from Paul for a time, perhaps several months ........ They are both going to have to be really careful how they wean themselves back."
I think that we have seen how long it has taken / is taking for Sue and Steve to wean themselves off sex with each other and it will take a significant time for them to get back to the level of emotional sex that they got to after 30 odd years particularly after a period where Sue has given herself totally to Paul to the exclusion of Steve
As I have also kept to myself as I have been reading your updates this past week or so, it is good to see that you and Sue are moving down a path that work for BOTH of you in each of your own ways. Embrace and Enjoy the experiences. Yes I can see were the fear of permanence scares you although when there is no time commitment for return to intercourse (bare or otherwise) it allows you both to go with the flow and for the future return of intercourse to be a naturally organic process, not one based solely on the calendar. It is important that you both maintain and nurture the emotional and non-sexual intimate connection while she continues to develop her sexual intimacy with Paul.
I also would like to take a moment to congratulate you on your one on one talk with Paul as that has been something that has needed to happen for a while now.
Well, just have to share last night's fun. We talked and she teased me at first as I lay back and stroked my cock. She asked if I got turned on as much when she wasn't sexy or naked with me and I told her that it took a little longer but that I had a lot of memories to go back to - she giggled and teased that I'll have a lot of that next year which made me groan. But she slid towards me and even with her mostly clothed (night-shirt and panties) I could still feel her warm body.
She cooed and teased about how big and hard my cock is. It was strangely erotic to hear her say how she liked to look at and see my cock and how hot it got her to think, as she put it, that "I'm not going to be using it" and she proceeded to tell me that it got her horny to think about us as a married couple where she doesn't use my cock! I groaned in response and I guess she knew she'd hit a nerve with that. She leaned over towards me again and cooed that "you'll still get to cum baby.... just in different ways.....". I groaned in response and told her that I was getting more used to the idea and as she was suggesting, to relax more about it.
As I stroked she reached her hand down and cupped my balls and told me "this is one way baby...." and a second later she cooed "oooh - these feel heavy....". I told her that I wasn't going to last long and she smiled and let go of them. She sat back a bit and reminded me that she was going to Pauls this weekend and that she was going to spend Saturday night there. I groaned back that it was making me horny to think about and she giggled and suggested that ".... you do this a lot when I'm away...." referring to me masturbating. I told her I would and that I wanted her to have a good time with him. It was making me crazy to think about it as she teased me that she'll "... have to bring something sexy with me..." and then she giggled and said "... no, I'll just need one of his shirts....". I told her she was so beautiful and was making me so horny.
She smiled, leaned over and kissed me and just said "enjoy" and with that she pulled my hand off my cock and she took me in her mouth. OMG wow - it was amazing to feel. So warm and wet. She didn't move at first (later told me she knew I needed to calm down so I didn't cum right away) but then gently started to lick and suck at my cock. I looked down at her and she loved letting me see her licking the head of it and putting her tongue into the tip. When she brought her hand up I knew she wasn't going to let me last too long and sure enough - after just a few times of her edging me closer and closer (she told me there is so much pre-cum when I get close) - she proceeded to suck/stroke me off till it felt like my cock exploded in her mouth. She gasped and gagged for a moment but then relaxed and gently sucked the last few spurts and dribbles out of me - even ran her thumb up from way down low - before she pulled away.
I knew what she was going to do next and I was actually eagerly waiting. I wasn't disappointed - she moved up and kissed me and as our lips met and opened her tongue met mine only hers was coated with my cum. She pushed and shared it with me and as our kiss went on our tongues spread it between us, until at the end of the kiss I felt her push it all into my mouth and as we kissed I knew she wanted me to swallow it.
Even now - 14 hours later - I feel so pleasantly drained that I can barely get hard this morning.
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Windjammer78, tegelad, dutch12 and 1 other person
Now that I read it I see what you mean .... obviously I meant in a consensual way (doh) let me delete that comment as it was written poorly. My thought was that he should show that he can be the aggressor one last time before he goes down the path.
Better explanation Teg. You never know he might get the chance on New Year's Eve when he has two condoms. The first could be an aggressive (ish) fuck, the second his bittersweet lovemaking that lasts for as long as he can go...
Steve,
Back to the main event. I assume from your post that you will not be going with Sue over to Paul's house this weekend. Just wondered how long she was planning to be away and what you were planning on doing to fill the time.
Well, she just left to spend the rest of the day with him and stay over. She said she'd be home by mid-day tomorrow.
We talked more since Wednesday night and I told her that I was agreeing with her, that I was trying to relax and be more accepting and less hesitant. She smiled so much as I said that and she said that she wanted to make this as fun and satisfying for me as she could and she giggled and asked me how I liked what she'd done for me on Wednesday night. When I told her that I thought it was amazing she smiled again and said that she'd done some of what Paul had suggested and she asked me if I liked how she held my balls and when I nodded yes she asked me if I felt anything else and I was confused until she said that she'd tried something else Paul had suggested. I hadn't really recognized it as something she did intentionally but she said she had rubbed her knuckles against the area below my balls both as I stroked myself and then as she finished me off she said she did it harder. I had no idea until I tried to think back to any new sensations and all I could remember feeling was amazing in her mouth. She giggled again and said "you came a LOT" emphasizing a lot - she giggled and said that for a change it was ".... almost how much Paul cums...". I was thinking of it and she said "what?" to me and I looked at her and said that I really felt drained as I'd posted here. She came over to me and smiled and said "see silly.... it'll still be good for you... just... you know... different..". I kissed her and hugged her and told her that she was amazing.
I will say that I had a fleeting thought that we might have had sex as we talked like that and from how it felt at the time between us, and for a moment I had the thought of initiating it. I was kind of lost in that thought when she said "it'll be easier... to you know.... have what I want this way....". I knew I'd missed some of what she'd said but I also knew that I wasn't going to have sex with her either.
I'm going to say something that I have been feeling more and more and perhaps it's a mental thing that I'm starting - but in a way I was happy that it wasn't/didn't happen. I felt horny - my god - so horny by then and after what we'd talked about - but at the same time - I wanted to feel it and I still do right now.
A part of me wants to strip naked right now and get some lube out and stroke myself till I can't cum any more - but my god - the feeling of being so horny right now and knowing how I need and want to cum is amazingly hot to feel.
It's even more than I've shared because this morning she asked me if I wanted to help pick out some clothes for her to take. She'd said they were going to go out and do some stuff so that she'd need "normal stuff" and not just lingerie - although we did settle on her wearing a very lacy bra and panty set today under her jeans and top that I admitted will be something that Paul will like when she is undressed later today.
She asked me if I liked sharing the time with her as she showed me what top she wanted to bring for if they went out to dinner later. I told her I was horny and she smiled and told me that I should be sure and enjoy myself tonight and again tomorrow morning because she said it clearly that she's not going to want to have sex with me, in any way, when she gets home - that it's going to be the last time she sees him before Thanksgiving and that is what she wants to feel and remember afterwards.
I laughed at her when she began to look through her lingerie drawer - she held out a very sheer camisole top and matching what could barely qualify as panties. She asked what I was laughing at and I told her that all she needed was one of his shirts. She smiled and came over to me and hugged me and told me she loved me and that I was right. We shared a fairly passionate kiss after which she hugged me tightly and told me she loved me again and then pulled back and said "okay, let me finish...".
I followed her as she went into the bathroom to take her make-up and other stuff. She leaned into the mirror to do a touch-up on her make-up and I told her she made me horny. She giggled and looked at me in the mirror and wiggled her butt and said "thanks honey, I need this tonight". She was doing something to her eyes and I just felt like talking to her and where we were just made me start to talk about it.
I told her that it made me horny that she'll be doing this tomorrow morning with him in his bathroom. She giggled and said in a teasing voice "yeah but I'll probably be naked honey....". I groaned in response and told her that I agreed. She looked at me in the mirror and said "what?" with that questioning voice about what was on my mind at that moment. I told her as I have in the past that "it's so weird that it turns me on like this.... you and him.... " and before I could say anything more she smiled and said "Oh!" and she turned to me and said "it just feels different with him baby" and kissed me on the cheek before going back to the mirror but she kept talking and she said that she just doesn't feel comfortable doing ".. stuff like that..." with me but that with him she says she doesn't feel any discomfort and she turned from the mirror to look at me and she said something like "... that's why I know I want to do this with him honey..." and while my brain spun in one direction I listened as she told me that she wants to feel things like that with him - to make her feel sexual in ways that I can't do. She looked at me and said that "letting him watch me pee makes me feel.... I guess like you do..... " and she paused and she said "... I feel so relaxed that I just want him to watch ...". She looked at me and said "Is that kind of what you feel?..... Like it's weird that it makes you feel good?". I told her maybe but it sounded like maybe. She hugged me at that moment, tightly and then kind of pulled back and looked me in the eye and said "... but this is what I want with you...." and she said stuff about wanting us to feel like we know each other and love what we know about each other.
The conversation rambled on after that until she was ready to go, I wanted to talk more but also knew that the time before she was going to see him wasn't when we should dive into it all - obviously she felt the same way as the conversation sort of suddenly veered back to the weather and what I'd be doing while she's out. I know we will talk more tomorrow as I feel it was a huge point we got to but I also know that we both wanted her to go to see him. So when 10:30 came around and she said she'd wanted to be there before lunch, I knew she should go and enjoy herself. We hugged and kissed more in the foyer and I told her to be careful and she smiled and said she'd call me and/or text me later.
So I am off to a buddy's house - our leaf-blower isn't running well so that's an excuse to bring it over to his place for a tune-up and to have some beers together, at least for some of the afternoon.
I was re-reading (and getting even hornier) what I'd posted and I thought I should also share that Sue has learned that Paul's recent sexual partners before Sue were - as now seems obvious - far more into sucking his cock than fucking him. Thinking more about it this morning, it explains several things - the apparent range of repertoire he's aware of regarding oral-sex. Sue has never even known about things that he's apparently shared with her and now some of which she's tried on me! But it also so explains his comments regarding her having ruined him for other women - lol - just thinking that if she's the first pussy he's had since a long time just getting oral - and she takes him bare on top of it - no wonder he is as respective of us as he is.
Its weird but sitting here thinking about it, in a way, it makes me feel good that he's getting to enjoy her as much as he is then. I'll stick with that thought as I head out to the shed to get the leaf blower.
Ha. I'm sitting here thinking about you doing your thing with a leaf blower while Paul gets to play with the cock blower! Still, jokes apart I can see how happy you are to be on target for 2018. People may very well think Paul is a lucky man but he remains the cypher. He does his job well and gets paid well for doing so. No, at this times the lucky ones are you and Sue to be trying something new and being so comfortable and happy about it. Whatever I might think about how it all may end, there is no doubt you both have a lot joy coming in getting there. Great update.
It is after 4pm and I am now home again. It is times like this and later tonight when I would truly rather have them here in our house in our bed tonight as it just seems less lonely. I am sorely tempted to jerk-off right now but instead I am simply stroking slowly and edging myself along.
At least I have a good movie lined up for a little while - The Accountant - I saw it a while ago and want to see it again.
Not staying here long - hoping to wait till later tonight. She called me about 7pm, said they had "come home" which did make me wince a bit and she told me how they'd walked around this town near him for a little while till it got colder and windy and started to drizzle. I asked her if she was warm now and I could hear her smile as she said yes. She asked me if I was okay and I told her that I was and she giggled and asked me quietly almost whispering "are you still waiting?" and I told her yes to which she said that she hoped I would enjoy myself later and I said yes. She told me she loved me and asked me if I needed anything and I just told her "to come back tomorrow" to which she giggled and said I was silly and that she'd maybe even be there before I was out of bed. I didn't ask why as I figured he was going to try to play some golf in the morning if it's as clear out as they say it will be. I told her to take her time and yes, I told her to enjoy herself. She let out a soft sigh and again said she loved me and that she was going to run. I told her I loved her and I asked her what she was wearing. I don't know if she was joking with me but she said she was standing naked in his room in front of his closet about to pick out what shirt she was going to wear. I was speechless and even now as I am typing this I can feel my cock leaking away.
I need to go before I get too far into what's in my head. I just want to say that in a way I want to cum later tonight - around when I suspect he/she/they will be - at least that's the thought in my head right now. But first - to get lost in a movie. Hopefully. At least it's not a sex-filled movie - so that should work.
