She Is His

[SoonToBe]

Putting Raks distraction aside. I did want to share, for whoever is still reading this, that relaxing about being beta is finally seeming to work for me. It's taken a long time and to be honest, a lot of soul-searching on my part to move ahead with this but I have to say that I am finding it is soothing something inside me that I've felt for a long time. I can't explain it but somehow it feels better all around to me, almost as if our roles were now just feeling right to me.

I do feel a desire for her - no one reading this should mistake that. I get rock hard and I do have visions and thoughts of having her - but honestly - when I masturbate alone or with her - the thoughts that push me over the edge are always of her and her lover deep in passion. Thing is - it feels good to to share that with her and to tell her honestly what turns me on. She feels much the same in also finally feeling comfortable from her perspective.

What I can share is that I am enjoying what I feel as being beta and I'll share that I am enjoying how it feels with Sue for her to accept me this way too. This past weekend with Paul here was the first time I felt really comfortable masturbating in front of them - on both Saturday and Sunday. It was a bit surreal on Sunday when Paul didn't have to leave as soon as he normally does and they had delayed their normal morning sex till after we'd all sort of woken up and I'd gone into them. Both of them were still in bed obviously naked beneath the covers and as we talked I sat on the chair in our bedroom as they got out of bed. Paul's cock was semi-hard as he got out of bed and I think we all felt very relaxed and comfortable. He left the door open to the bathroom while he peed and then put on one of my bathrobes and came back to bed. Sue got up a moment later also naked and did the same - I couldn't see into the bathroom from where I sat but Paul could from the bed. She flushed and walked casually to her closet and pulled out a silky robe to put on and she sat back on the bed and we all talked. For the first time we talked openly about them together and Sue told me how "wonderful Paul was last night" which made me chime in that I could tell as I heard her/them. Paul was slow to join in but then seemed to relax and he told me that he liked it when Sue would cry out as she orgasmed and that it made him feel great. She giggled at "how it made me feel".

I thought we would have gone down for some breakfast - but instead, the casual talk led to Paul telling me that he loved "fucking her in the morning" to which Sue replied that she enjoyed it too and laughed out loud. I told them both that with how I was feeling lately, that I too enjoyed their morning fun. Within a few minutes that thought led to action. I could see it start between them. Her hand went to his and tickled one of his fingers and then his hand. His other hand went to her face, hair and neck and caressed her. Her eyes closed and it seemed almost magical to see their desire grow. He pushed her robe gently off her shoulders and let me see her breasts and then pushed the blankets away as he spread her legs.

I've said it here before but I managed to say it to both of them - that I thought she looked so beautiful at that moment - spreading her legs and letting him know she was ready for him. She blushed a bit and was quiet but Paul smiled and said "she is beautiful" and then he said something about "loving her body" as he seemed just so familiar with her as his hands roamed her naked body. It didn't take too long before his fingers were in her and they were glistening from I guess the night before as well as her arousal. And it equally didn't take long before his cock was in her.

She smiled as she looked over at me as they began getting into it. There's something so erotic being so close to her and feeling the bed moving and all that and yet at the same time feeling like you are a spectator eagerly watching. I mouthed that I loved her back and she blew me a kiss before closing her eyes and lying back and letting Paul have more of her.

Thing is - as I started to say - I just feel more and more comfortable with all of this. I didn't even think twice about sliding off my boxers and starting to stroke myself. Both of them saw me and I think I said something about "being so turned on" or at least thinking I'd said it - but they knew from how hard I was that I was turned on. Thing was - I loved sitting there and both of them seeing me. I did cum just before he did - I literally jumped the gun as I was so into it. I stroked and stroked even after I'd stopped cumming as he finished in her. He stayed still and in her for a few minutes while I reached for a tissue to clean up the little dribbles I'd squirted (no - I'm not ready to do more yet). They both looked over at me as I wiped up and both waited for me to be done and I was looking at them before he pushed himself up on his elbows. It was Sue though who looked at me and said "you can get closer" as he pushed himself up and off her. He got back onto his knees (a position I used to enjoy) and she just lay there with nothing to hide. I was too taken with staring at her just fucked pussy to see Paul go off to the bathroom. I thought she might invite me to lick her clean but she just said "can you had me a tissue too baby". I did so and she just wiped herself as clean as she could and then sat up and pulled the robe back onto her.

Next thing I knew we were all in the kitchen eating breakfast. I got some stuff out of the refrigerator, Sue was making eggs and Paul was comfortable making coffee. We all talked pretty easily as we'd done before - but this time we were all in a very open and mellow feeling way. I told them that I'd had fun with them and I said "thanks". Both of them said the same and that both of them admitted it felt more easy between us. Paul joked that maybe he'd have to miss more golf-games in the future which made Sue lean over and kiss him for thinking that way.

The 3 of us sat around after eating drinking coffee for a bit as I mentioned and it was Sue that started by saying that she thought I'd come a long way in accepting and "being okay" about everything going on. I told them both that I felt better about it all and I told Paul that I liked how he "took care" of Sue. She joked and said "you can tell him you like that he makes me cum baby" - and so I did. I looked at Paul and I said "you make her cum a lot - I like that". To which he replied "well, if you don't mind me cumming in her, it's my pleasure" - it was more a rhetorical question as we all know the answer to that. So I just said "that's good". We talked a little more and the 3 of us together but didn't get into much more sex-talk than that. I don't know that we'll ever get much beyond that but it felt great to be able to talk more openly and able to accept my desires. After Paul left I thought we'd get dressed but instead Sue and I spent a bit more time together and we talked more too. She wants me to continue to let myself go with what I want to feel. I told her that I still had some reservations about going further into being beta but that if it felt okay that I would. She did tell me that she loved that I could be myself about all this and not have to feel self-conscious about.

 

[peakmb]

Steve,
Keep tracking the reader numbers. For sure you are being read, and liked. I suspect you are not being commented on as much because you have gone into a zone where less people are truly comfortable. There are those that always thought you’d end up here and I suppose they simply don’t want to say ‘I told you so’. There are those that think you were crazy to go in this direction but always believed you would turn back before it was too late - and now it almost certainly is. They are lost for words. I’m sure there are many that just wanted it to work out for you both, and now you seem to have got there - at least for the moment and the near future. Again, little to say or what say is perhaps more complex, more difficult to articulate. So for many it will be, ‘Wait and see’, for a while. Better to be thought of as foolish than to commit to words and prove it!

For me your old Alpha instincts seem like a big alpha rock thrown in a pool. Initially your feelings were turbulent, up and down, switching between wanting to take (and retake) Sue and wanting to watch. As the waves moved out these feelings got less and less pronounced until now the alpha peak is barely visible and soon to vanish altogether.

It’s interesting that while most of your recent posts have talked about your contentment and Sue’s happiness with that, there have been the odd comments about how much could go back (right now I’m not the one she wants to think about or wants to have sex with). What if Sue wanted you as a primary fuck again? What if you wanted Sue the same way. Realistically neither is now going to happen. You are truly content to use Sue’s sex life as masturbation fodder and Sue is never going to want a beta as a primary fuck. Deep down you now know this, but I suspect you can’t quite admit it to yourself yet. Maybe this is your final beta state, but you are not quite there yet it seems.

None of this is to say you will never find yourself in Sue’s pussy again. You will, but it will never be at your instigation or desire, only Sue’s and tied to whatever conditions she states (timing, condom?, depth, coming, etc.. There are so many ways for her to remind you how it feels without her fully letting you go.

 

[raksdeer]

LOL! Me and wordplay?

Sorry STB. It's you who is playing with words like Obligation and Intimacy. See even when I have commented nearly after a year, it makes you uncomfortable. Do you know why? Because it is. Because my questions reveal what is. And, no matter how beta you are, I think it pains you to know that she will never say " You are still the one I want" . Never ever. You are not the one she wants. (I wonder if she ever did in recent past..considering the way she has manipulated you till this point...I do wonder if she ever did...and you also..now by you your admission "I fully admit that I didn't treat her properly"..how can a woman love a man who doesn't treats her properly....well by cuckolding him) Probably she does as well. That day is not far off when you will prepare Paul for Sue.(I know you will disagree for now...but we also know...things you said that would never happen and have happened..) and she would keep you in chastity. And, although you'd express deep shock initially, after a few years,...you'd say I love this...I love that. LOL! That is word play STB.

Not me. Certainly not me!

 

[cleaner]

Steve, You have a following like me that really enjoys and looks forward to your posts. I have read every post for several years now even when you put condoms in Sues overnight bag when she went on business trips. As you know, I have posted a comment from time to time but mainly I am writing here to perhaps cheer you up a bit from some of the digging comments that no doubt bring you down a bit. But also I had to tell your that from your last post, I do find that your masturbating in plain sight of Sue and Paul as they make love, quite exciting. From my standpoint and no doubt exciting and liberating standpoint for you to become that perfect Beta. Letting yourself ejaculate in front of them without hiding it is near the ultimate in acceptance in my opinion. Although cleaning Sues pussy of his cum in his presence and perhaps even commenting to him between your swallows would probably be the ultimate. Continued talking about their lovemaking describing in some detail in the presence of all three of you, is also a strong sign of your Beta status and one of becoming more of a friend to Paul. Thanks again and remember you are supported by us often in the shadows.

 

[SoonToBe]

Cleaner - thanks. For me, without a lot of people to talk to about this, it helps me to share my thoughts here.

Last night was no different than other Wednesdays but it led to some interesting conversation that's relevent here.

She really started it out by asking me again how I was feeling. But it led to some interesting things.

We talked, quite openly about my beta feelings and she said a few things that stung but were also quite revealing. I said something to the effect of her really enjoying Paul's cock now and that it left me feeling lost at times that she didn't have thoughts or desires about mine. Not in those words but that's the gist. Her answer surprised and pleased me. She said that it's not that she doesn't have thoughts or desires at all - she giggled and said it's quite the opposite. That she is very aroused and turned on by my cock. She told me she loved seeing me so big and hard as I was last night and that it turns her on to see it and she admitted that there are many times when she would love to "have me". So it made me ask why she doesn't and she just looked at me and said, essentially, 'because you're beta....' and she looked at me and asked me if I would really want her to do that.

Before I could answer she said she wanted to tell me some other stuff that might help me. She said that she is letting herself feel and do what she is with Paul, yes, because she wants to, but also because she knows I need to do and feel what I am doing. She told me that she's honestly felt that I should have accepted this more in myself longer ago. She said "it has nothing to do with love...." and that she loves me unconditionally. But that she says looking back at everything, she thinks a lot of my awkward and sometimes angry or unresolved feelings and issues were because I was trying to resist what she now says she thinks I need to be feeling. She even came out and said it that "being beta seems like it's good for you" to me. And she asked me to be honest with her and tell her how I was feeling.

I told her what I'd said before, that I was worried about going too far or losing her somehow. She asked me again how I was feeling and I said honestly that it was feeling good, and I did agree, that I felt far less internal conflict and while I definitely miss the sex and intimacy with her, that still, strangely - it still just feels right to me to not have that right now and to instead simply give in and try to enjoy this the way I am. She asked me if I was enjoying it still and I was honest. I told her that I did surely miss intercourse with her and I still find myself in disbelief at giving it up this way - but I told her that her surprise blow-jobs and other times she "took over" and completed my orgasms felt awesomely satisfying and I admitted that they felt incredibly "appropriate" to me. She blushed and said softly that "I think I know you honey.... better than you think....".

She said that it was hard at first to hear that I was thinking I was beta. She recalls having almost a harder time understanding that than me wanting her to be with other guys in the first place - that now I wanted to give up sex with her. But in the time since then and seeing how I've both responded as well as how I've calmed down overall now - that she says she knows it's not something I've simply decided to "want to try out", that she knows it's something I just need to feel from and with (or without her). I told her again how I was concerned over both long term as well as simply her changing from me being (more?) beta. She giggled and told me I was being silly. She looked at me and asked me if her pussy still turned me on and I immediately told her "oh my god yes" and she smiled and said "as long as that's the case, we'll be okay baby...". I asked her what she meant and she said that my being beta really has helped her let herself go with Paul and truly let herself be his sexually - something she admits she could never have done otherwise - and then she said it - "and it's what totally replaced my wanting that big affair baby....". She even jokingly asked me if I'd "cooked this up to prevent that" and she then, with a bit more seriousness did say "that might not have been good for us" and she admitted she too had some unresolved things of her own.

She again told me that "right now, you are a beta in my eyes honey" and she said again how it's how she almost has to feel to let herself go with Paul as she does. She said that "the things you've and we've done.... they make it easier..." and she said, in a lower more sexy voice "I know you liked doing them too honey". Before I could answer she smiled and said "I saw you when I was with Paul... you were smiling and enjoying it baby..... I loved it". I told her that doing stuff like that concerned me and she giggled and said "why?". I told her that aside of still feeling self-conscious around Paul (she giggled at that and said "really?") I continued and told her again that I was concerned about how it made me "look in her eyes" and she stopped me at that and said "what?" with a stern sound to her voice.

"If I didn't want or like to see you like that I'd tell you honey". I was quiet and she continued and said again that she knows this is something that's good for me - she even reminded me that we both think my blood pressure might even be down a bit too (things I've said recently and she's noticed like infrequent headaches and such that have gone away). "I don't think any less of you baby....." but I asked her "but it makes you feel differently, doesn't it?". She paused and said again what she said before about seeing me differently and how that has already happened and she said "it started before New Years honey" and she added "it's nothing honey, it's just what it is". She looked at me and said "I love you no less, probably even more since you said you wanted to be more beta" and she said "when I let myself see you, I knew it was something that you felt strongly about even if you didn't know it".

She moved close to me and she started to stroke my cock (it wasn't exactly hard at this point) and she spoke softly and she said "I know when the time is right that this will get used again (as she squeezed my cock)" but she looked up at me and she said "but you and I know that now's not the right time. She giggled as she started to stroke my cock and she said "besides - don't you like all this?" and as my cock was hardening she continued giggling and said "mmm - that's better...." and after a few more moments she added "... you're not going to lose me baby just because you enjoy being beta....". I told her I was sorry but she shushed me and aid "this is hard (my cock) and that's what matters to me...." and she giggled and added "that and what comes out of it!" which made me join her.

 

[peakmb]

Steve,
It surely can't have come as a shock that Sue revealed that she can't have a primary lover that is also a beta. Right from the start when you played "denial games" it was always Sue's mantra and your 'get out of jail free' card. All you had to do was say stop. All you have to do now is say 'I'm not beta'. I guess you'd have to mean it too. The thing is, it seems, you can't because you are beta. You know it, Sue knows it, we know it. I do not want to say that as a negative but simply a statement of what you are. Perhaps unusually because of Sue's consistent statements you have remained in control. Even now, you could renounce beta and get your sex life back. I guess you'd still share it with Paul but Sue has always had enough passion to go round. It's all theoretical power though because you aren't going to renounce anything. Life is what it is. Enjoy it.

 

[AZcuckple]

Hi Steve, I have been reading g all of your she is his posts and really like the emotional aspect and you descriptive writing is wonderful. Thank for chronicling your experiences here. I really liked the last post where you reflected back to some of why she was a willing participant and recealling you struggle with alpha/beta feelings. My question is where can I find more of the pre new years information? For instance why did she want you to be using condoms amd what were the feeling/conversations leading up to these kinds of decisions? My wife is also interested in this kinda thing too, but she feels that her age and weight would not attract the right kind of guy. In one of your posts I think you said something about ppsting pictures. If you did and if it is ok with you where could my wife and i view them? Again thank you

 

[UKMidsBull]

As am Alpha I always have struggled not with your desire to be beta, but with the way that you have so willingly (well almost willingly) given up sex with Sue without a defined end-point.

I get that you feel that you have given her pay back for all the times that she was "obligated" to have sex with you, but have always wondered how much you actually "made" her have sex with you so that you could get off - I know of many women who were never interested until they got going and then didn't want to stop. Were they "obligated" to have sex with their partner or was that just how it needed to be for them?
Likewise given the amount of sex that Sue has had with Paul and the amount of denial that you have gone through, has the obligation debt not been paid?

When you were on your spiral down to beta-ness many readers warned you about how hard it would be to get back up to being an Alpha and @peakmb is so right when he says "Even now, you could renounce beta and get your sex life back. I guess you'd still share it with Paul but Sue has always had enough passion to go round. It's all theoretical power though because you aren't going to renounce anything."
It's almost as if you are so contented being a beta that you've forgotten the pleasure of full on sex with Sue - You say that you still want her, but clearly not enough to tell her "enough"

 

[SoonToBe]

UKMids - I understand what you and others are saying - however for me, all I can say is that I feel a tremendous amount of relief right now. It's odd but somehow, for me, relinquishing her like this has given me something I think I've been wanting to feel for a long time. When you say how "willingly" I have given up sex with her, this has been something that in one way or another has been building between us for a while now, looking back, my willingness began several years ago, not several months ago. When I accepted that, it made it easier for me to - I guess - let go of the illusion I think I had of myself.

Right now, no, there's no sense of obligation-redemption for either of us. But rather for me, looking back, I wish I'd had the courage or strength back then to allow her to go more fully into things if she'd wanted - or at least I now regret not enjoying her post-coital moments in other ways other than my trying to reclaim her as I did. To the question of whether it was always unpleasurable for her - no - I know and I"m sure she knows too that we both did enjoy the reclamation sex.

To the question of whether that has been repaid back now, or to when she (or I) will want to end this denial-play as I call it. It will sound crazy to say this but I don't feel that I'm ready to resume sex with her. As I've explained - I think I'm finally past the point where the absence of intercourse with her is bringing me mood-swings or feelings of anger or that sort of stuff. In that sense, as I said, I'm just not ready to resume with her. I honestly don't know how or when or if that is going to change.

That does sort of lead to your last paragraph. I am quite sure that our current state is largely due to me or due to my acceptance of whatever she desires. Surely if I wanted, we could resume having sex. Paul won't be seeing her this weekend as our daughter is going to be coming home over the long weekend. But at the same time this weekend marks the passing of the 8th month where we've been essentially abstinent intercourse-wise. Yes - of course I still want her. I still get hugely hard and horny about her. But at the same time, I just can't explain it but it just feels right to me - and to her - for her to be exclusive with Paul.

And this is something she and I have continued to talk about. Last weekend Paul was only here for a short while on Saturday night which was pleasurable for all of us as I again masturbated while they had sex together. We'd talked earlier on Saturday and she had told me (warned me?) that they were going to be very physical since he wasn't staying over. I think perhaps my beta-ness has influenced the both of them because he was quite hard with her. Had I not known she wanted it, I may have felt differently but did tell me that she "...wanted to get fucked good..." - and seeing him banging into her as hard and firmly as he was at times wasn't easy - at least not until she cried out in orgasm. He left soon afterwards but she remained naked in bed. I am sure I could have easily had sex with her right then but I did not (well, I'd just jerked off for one) and instead I told her that I wanted to 'go down' on her and lick her. She smiled and told me I could "have fun".

I'll only add that in talking with her more last night as we had our usual Wednesday fun, that she again is continuing to encourage me to explore more of my beta-feelings if I want to. I wasn't sure what she was suggesting so I asked her what she was thinking but she said she wasn't really thinking of anything specific, more that she feels much of what I said above, that she knows that, neither she nor I want to resume intercourse right yet. As I started to masturbate more and we got into talking more I'll share that I came out and told her that I would like to try to feel more comfortable going down and licking her while Paul is still here and she giggled and said "not waiting till he goes into the bathroom" and she told me that he does that to accommodate what he feels is awkwardness in me which made me feel kind of self-conscious at that moment. She told me that he (and she ) both understand that it's something that I may want to do at some point and she looked at me and said "he thinks its cool that you want to do that you know....".

I'll go out on a limb here and share a thought that I had that will perhaps feel right to me. My thought is that I would like to make love to Sue on New Years Day. I'm shaking and rock hard as I type this but the thought that would be the next time we truly make-love seems fitting to me and obviously for me, it means committing to 4 more months of denial. A part of me feels that marking the year that way - book-ending it if you will - might feel appropriate. Until then, I'm thinking out loud as I type this, that for the next 4 months I will continue to explore being beta.

 

[peakmb]

Steve,
While your posts continue to seem superficially like they are more of the same, they continue to reveal as well. First, I would say that 12 days is an experiment, 12 weeks maybe a long one. 12 months is something more permanent and you are deluding yourself if you think otherwise. Second, Sue is supposed to be the Dom here. If she wants to make love with you this weekend your response should simply be, Yes whatever pleases you. Which brings me worryingly to Three. You are telling yourself that this is your desire, your need. That your suppressed want of Sue's pussy is more than balanced by the angst you love. Fair enough but what of Sue. Her continuing to not initiate full sexual contact, in spite of saying previously she would, her saying you could even go further with the beta without even knowing where or how smacks of someone who doesn't really care what she has given up. Yes, she gets fucked by Paul but she has not made love in its fullest sense in 8 months now and shows no sign of missing it. Any sort of reconnection here is going to be increasingly difficult. I wouldn't be quite so blasé about just rolling it over to New Year if I was you. Not unless you have already decided that denial is a permanent state for you. There is a danger that Sue has already decided.

 

[dutch12]

Off topic: Chaturbate pop-ups sucks!!!! Acting like a virus, from signing-in on slutwives.com, filling-in my username. Almost every button I hit it opens a new window. Am I the only one with this on slutwives.com?

 

[AZcuckple]

I've been reading the stories on darkwander and I was wondering if ray in that story is the same guy as Paul?

 

[buds13]

Off topic: Chaturbate pop-ups sucks!!!! Acting like a virus, from signing-in on slutwives.com, filling-in my username. Almost every button I hit it opens a new window. Am I the only one with this on slutwives.com?

yes same problem

 

[dutch12]

I've been reading the stories on darkwander and I was wondering if ray in that story is the same guy as Paul?

The Journey of Steve "SoonToBe" on Hotwives.com startet June 2007. Since that time (now 11 years have past) Sue (Susan) has had several fuckbuddies with approval of her husband Steve.
Go to Cuckold stories and surch author Soontobe. It is a big surch now a days. The website changed, before that time you could find all threads with a click at the bottom of the profilepage.
Short: to answer your question: No, Ray isn't the guy Paul as known 2018. Paul became her FB about two years ago, maybe a bit longer.

 

[Curt Bruch]

I've been reading the stories on darkwander and I was wondering if ray in that story is the same guy as Paul?

Just so you know, all the names in 'Journal of a Journey' (based on STB's 'Soon to be' and his other threads) have been changed to 'protect the innocent'!

 

[AZcuckple]

Url hotwives.com doesn't work. What did it change to?

 

[dana007]

AZ
are you asking about ourhotwives.com

 

[SoonToBe]

Hi all,

AZ - I believe what Curt is referring to is the former name of this website. When it was renamed all the content moved over so if you're looking way back, perhaps it's still here somewhere.

I decided to take a bit of a break from posting here and also decided to stop trying to justify or explain how we feel in terms of psycho analyzing everything. Peak you and others continue to focus on things that are true concerns but I simply never feel they are of the level or import you seem to ascribe to them. Sue's well aware of our interplay and my pleasure at her denial and the possible ramifications of that.

We talked a lot more over this past weekend when we had time. I told her of my desire to possibly wait till New Years for us to make-love again. She asked me if that was what I wanted and I told her that I did - that it somehow felt right to me that if I've waited and sacrificed this long that I should see it through. She said that she wasn't surprised to hear me say that and told me that it sounded wonderful and then she teased that "you'll surely know what you're missing by the time the holidays get here" and it did give me a slight pause to consider we may actually go through a Christmas without making love or being intimate. She knew what I was thinking when I paused and she said that "it'll be something new for both of us" and she smiled and said "seems right baby...". Our conversation did include her sharing how 'special' she feels at being able to do what she is with Paul and how it makes her feel like a teenager at times. She told me that she understood that I wanted to 'push' myself and she asked me if I still felt I wanted/needed to have her before then. She told me that she thought it was very touching that I was able to tell her that and that I shouldn't feel I have to hide wanting to be beta with her and that I didn't have to worry about losing her or anything - but that she truly wants me to experience what I want to. I told her that I still felt incredibly satisfied by what we were doing but I also admitted that I thought we needed to be aware of it too. She hugged me and told me not to worry so much.

At another point including last night, she asked me to tell her more how I felt being there with her and Paul when they're having sex. It wasn't easy for me to describe it to her but I did share that seeing his big cock disappear into her body was amazingly arousing to me. I told her that seeing him 'taking her' as he seems to to me at time was intense to watch and see. She teased and encouraged me more last night telling me how she likes how he feels inside her and how she "doesn't remember much" of how my cock feels - which was followed by this almost sinister giggle at ".... ooh how that turns me on ...." and she looked at me and said "New Years is going to be fun for us baby...." continued by "but till then baby, your right hand looks so comfortable right now...." referring to my stiff cock she was staring at as she talked. I had told her over the weekend that most of the time when I cum, my thoughts are on her and him cumming together. When I got really close she leaned down and whispered in my ear that she "...loves it when I can wait and cum just when he does..." and she whispered "you know how I cum like that.....". The way she said it - it just did it for me - and I came right along with her. She moaned softly in my ear and reached down and put her hand on mine for the last few spurts and dribbles.

 

[cleaner]

Steve, I understand you taking a break especially with all the analyzing, but I sure would like to know a bit of details exactly you might masturbate in front of them and how close you are or what was said. Also, have you went down on Sue in Paul's presence yet? Thank you for your consideration.

 

[SoonToBe]

Cleaner - I can answer your question. I'm just tired of defending how I'm/we're feeling about everything and all of that.

I usually have a pair of loose pants or shorts on by the time comes when I will join them. Our usual pattern seems to be that they will go to our bedroom and if she wants or doesn't mind me coming in - they'll leave the door open a bit. We have a king-size bed in our bedroom that is really a platform bed with 2 twin mattresses on it. To share it all - I like to watch their foreplay more from a distance. If she/he's not fully undressed - I know they're more comfortable without me there at that point. I'm usually either fully hard or most of the way there if not already stroking my cock a bit in my pants as I watch. The hallway is dark so I'm also not totally visible yet either. I actually find watching them at this point to be very erotic. Seeing her so comfortable with him - is just so arousing to me. Something about seeing him take her panties off and just how comfortable and relaxed she is about it is just so intense.

I've never timed how long this part actually takes - sometimes if just seems like it could go on forever if it could. I suppose it's somewhere between 5 and 15 minutes. Sometimes I've walked away if they're taking their time only to come back and find them much more into it together. I think she likes it when I'm not there too early as she feels far less inhibited and I've seen them move from 69 to other positions seemingly more naturally than when I've joined them when they seem to settle into fucking. Seeing her naked with him no longer seems to shock me or really affect me that much - I mean I get aroused and horny any time she is naked or just sexy - but seeing them together feels more normal to me now than ever before.

I can tell from watching when foreplay is turning into more - it's obvious - his fingers linger longer on and in her pussy. He is thrusting and taking longer and more full strokes of his cock in her mouth. Her breasts look firmer and her nipples are rock hard and darkened. Her pussy gets visibly wet (I can see the glisten from the doorway most times) and soon he moves down to either lie next to her or on top of her.

I usually go in just after that. Sometimes it's before he's in her - other times I wait a bit longer and join them after they're more into it and they have a rhythm going. Other times she'll move on top of him and will be rubbing his cock up and down her pussy - I usually go in right then if that's what they're doing. But regardless, I usually go in and I sit at the end of the other mattress (they are usually on her side). It's more her seeing me than the mattress moving that makes her look over to me and smile - sometimes she'll even blow me a kiss.

It is hard to describe what it feels like being next to them when they are "busy". I know Paul is still somewhat uncomfortable when I'm there during this early part but that once they get down to more "just fucking" that he seems to relax and as I've shared - he seems to take a bit more of a forward attitude towards me. I do have to say that being just feet away or closer and truly seeing him deep in her is something that still takes my breath away. Seeing her taking him and hearing and seeing the obvious pleasure it just amazing. But it's more - for me - I can't explain it but it genuinely feels good to me to see (and feel the bed move) as he truly fucks her and then makes-love to her.

It's taken me a long time to accept that I really love this. Seeing her pull her legs back - and seeing her smile at me at times knowing she knows that I love seeing her like that - it's just amazingly fulfilling. But once he's in her they sort of get lost in themselves too obviously. I will usually move further up on the bed - or kind of be on my hip leaning over to one side as I get situated.

I can say that I do feel far more comfortable sliding off my shorts at this point and openly masturbating. I used to feel self-conscious about it but that is less and less so now. Before Paul's reached his point where he likes to "show off" for me - most of the time I admit to watching where he is in her. I know they like it too when I'm a bit out of their (or at least his) field of view as they both get into it so I admit to staying more at the lower end of the bed where yes - I watch him fucking her. There's something just so amazing to me seeing his cock disappear into her - knowing he's enjoying that part of her - and knowing what he's feeling inside her. I love seeing her get wetter and wetter - especially love it if he's (or she's asked him to) use some lube as her pussy seems to open up and she is a bit more responsive early on. I don't know if I will ever tire of seeing him pull his cock out of her for just a moment and then see him push it - slowly at first - but then literally slamming it back into her later on. But I will say that I am most turned on when he is fully in her and she is slowly rocking her hips up and down and this intense sexy moan is coming from her.

Once she's cum pretty hard and he's really been in her - I think is when he seems to relax a bit more about me. Most of the time he'll move his body up and away from her and sometimes he'll glance back over his shoulder towards me and say stuff like "she's so good" or "she's so wet" or "this is so awesome" and he'll let me see him take some full strokes - not pulling out totally but he knows I can see her pussy start to stretch as he just about pulls out of her. She's told me many times that it makes her scream and gush when she feels him do that, especially when he'll push back in more slowly.

But it's never really more than that from him and she rarely says anything other than "sooo good" and things like that to me so it's not terribly humiliating. I know that it is more, at least for Paul, him seeming to want to show me how much he's enjoying her as opposed to how he can make her cum or moan or anything like that.

In the end - most every time - Sue prefers missionary when it comes time. No matter what the position or how good Paul may be or she may feel - when it's time for him and her to share their moment together - she will almost always move to her back. She is totally focused on him by this point and I barely get a glance. To me - that short moment - just the second or two - where she is lying on her back and has her legs spread and her arms open wide for him to move on top of her - to me - she looks the most beautiful of all at that moment. If I wasn't fully hard yet - when he moves to push back into her at that point - is when I get rock hard. The sounds, sight and smells of them together as both get closer is almost intoxicating. Sometimes her pussy will queef or fart with his onslaught - and that is always accompanied by a gush of her sweetness which I can see and smell. Other times that gush will wait just a bit longer.

I know his rhythm well now. He loves deep strokes but as he gets closer he stays in her longer and longer before pulling back. And then, when his strokes get shorter I know he's on the verge and is riding that edge. I'll be honest - knowing he's about to fill her with his cum at that moment puts me on edge too. Most of the time, I will cum just as he does or just after he does and I see the first bit of it appearing on the sides and underside of his cock and then appearing all around it and then oozing out onto her swollen pussy lips.

She's said she's only heard me moan when I cum just a few times, that most of the time she is just too into the moment. I try to not cum all over the bed. Usually a tissue or some loose piece of my clothing absorbs most of it but I admit that I do lick my fingers off and I do lick up the last bits that I will stroke out as I come down. She said she's seen me doing that and that she likes that I (finally) will allow myself to enjoy that moment. I've told her that I still feel weird around Paul at that moment and she says that he too feels awkward but that he is "getting over it".

Just about all the time - when they're done and caught their breath - he'll move back up onto his elbows and then push away from her. He doesn't say anything but I know he does it so I can sit up and watch as he pulls out of her. It's unsaid between us all - she will moan softly and sometimes lie there and rub her pussy a bit but he leans back and turns to look at me as I usually watch him pull out. Sometimes he'll just moan softly other times he'll say things softly like "sooo gooood".

If there was ever going to be a moment where more would happen - that would be it. I have long thought that if Sue and Paul wanted me to that I would lean over and clean him off. He's usually just starting to soften and I have to say that his cock looks beautiful too at that moment, probably my opinion is colored because of how he's made her cum. But for right now, he usually leans forward and kisses her on the forehead or lips and then he gets out of bed and he goes over to the bathroom.

She hasn't asked for me to clean her up at that point now in a few weeks if not more. It's always been her decision at that moment if she wants me to do anything with her at all. If she spreads her legs and sort of moves them towards me - sort of motioning to me - then I never miss an opportunity now to be intimate with her. I know already to only stay on the outside but even that is fine with me. Believe me. But I am also always nervous and hesitant at this point too. At least until my tongue or fingers make their first touch of her pussy. She's told me that he stays in the bathroom for an extra minute or two to give me time with Sue when she's into this. But at times he's come out while I've still been between her legs and I admit it is a very awkward feeling for me at that moment, beta or not.

Hope that is what you were asking about Cleaner.