I've been trying to think about how to put all of this down and not write a book.
Sue had talked to Paul a bit more on Wednesday and she shared more of that with me before he came over on Saturday.
She told me she had shared some of my "issues" with Paul. At first I was upset and didn't really want him knowing everything, but as she talked I realized she was probably right, that if I could deal with getting comfortable with things with Paul that it would be better all around. I had told her that I still felt awkward around Paul and that I also still had this 'lack of masculinity' type of thing in my head. She laughed and was amused at how tortured I seem to feel at times when she really doesn't think that much about it or that it really isn't as significant as I make it out to be.
I know I had mentioned to her (and here) how self-conscious I felt at cleaning her up after they'd had sex together. And it was one of the things she'd mentioned to him. I was embarassed at first but as she talked - and then when he arrived and we sort of put things a bit more out in the open (as I'll try to share) - I think I may have finally started to get beyond it. It really does seem to be more in my head than anything else - and that it may just be that I need to relax about it and embrace it - as I've found with the other parts of what we're doing.
So when Paul got here on Saturday I was kind of ready. I mean I knew it was going to probably be a bit trying at times but I swore to myself that I would try if Paul (and Sue) were and that I'd be engaging and not pull back as I felt I had at times before.
Again it was a bit surreal when he arrived - after I answered the door and shook his hand the two of them embraced and kissed before we all walked into the living room. We talked about a lot of different stuff - the storm, power outages, all of that stuff - while as I'd mentioned, dinner was in the oven. It was during this time that she asked me if I wanted to do the same with her as the last time they were at our house.
With about 45 minutes before dinner was ready we opened a bottle of wine and as I said, we started to talk about lots of stuff and after she got my confirmation in the kitchen, when I returned to the living room, the conversation subject had shifted a bit. She started it out by saying "I told Paul the other day that you liked being with us... you know.... when we're in bed.... and that you liked helping me out at the end.... you know baby... you licking me down there". Just like that (well as close as I can recall) in front of him. Paul picked up almost immediately and said "it's really cool what you guys are doing" and then he added ".... Steve.... it's all just sex.... it's cool that you are trying to get into it like you are". Before I could really think about what to say he continued and said "I know it must not be easy for you". I have to say, hearing him say that and the way he said it, it really relaxed and disarmed me.
I took a breath and looked at Sue before I answered him and said "yeah, I'm trying not to feel weird about it, thanks...". He continued and said "she's amazing and I hope it's what you want too". Again - the freakin' guy just said it in such a way that it actually made me feel good about it. I don't recall everything I said because right around then the timer went off for dinner - but I know that I told him that he was really good about everything and making me feel more comfortable around them. He answered me candidly - he said that at first he felt very weird about it all especially with me knowing and then watching/being there - but he now sees it as part of what makes Sue happy and what gives her pleasure - he said "I know letting you be a part of it is good for her". I again was stumped for what to say and he continued. He said something like "it's taken me a while but I think I get it" and he looked at me and said "you really like that I make love to your wife". I looked at him and I said calmly "yeah.... I think that's a big part of it...". He smiled and said "Steve, I know you still feel anxious about all of this, but you don't need to".
Again I was about to say something but Sue chimed in and it may have partly been the wine talking but she said "Paul, he (referring to me) still gets up tight about you knowing that he (me again) licks me afterwards". I swallowed whatever words I was about to say and suddenly felt incredibly ******* and hoping dinner would be an excuse to leave or end the conversation. "Steve... man.... that's cool that you'll do that with her...." and he continued "I'd never really seen that before, but man, I'm used to it now and like I said, I think it's cool.... I mean if you don't mind, then I'm really okay with it now". The conversation wasn't really with me though, it was the 2 of them as she replied "oh... he still thinks it's not manly or whatever that he likes to do that...." and she was talking to him not me, to which he replied "well, I wouldn't be doing that but like I said, I think it's really cool that you're into that and that you want to" as he looked towards me. I started to say that I felt self-conscious about "doing that" in front of him to which he laughed and said the same as Sue has said - "oh man, I've known you're into that for a long time now" and he added "but I know it's easier on you if I'm not there so no worries man....". Now there was more to this conversation but I've kind of reduced it down.
I honestly went for broke with it and as I stood up to go tend to dinner with the timer buzzer going off but I said "yeah, it's taken me a while too but I guess I can say it that I like doing it". And without giving myself a chance to turn red or anything, I turned and left the room.
They took it easy with me over dinner - no overt or explicit talk about anything. Maybe a little handy/footy between the 2 of them. It wasn't until after dinner that things got more heated. When we were done I told the 2 of them that I'd tend to the dishes and they should go be comfortable. I heard footsteps and doors upstairs and when I came out of the kitchen, the 2 of them were sitting on the couch - her in just his button-up shirt he'd left - and him in just a t-shirt and shorts that he had either left with her or brought himself. I stood and stared for a moment as they were kissing and her (his?) shirt had ridden up clearly revealing she was naked beneath.
Honestly as I stood there I truly marveled at what I was seeing. As they kissed it seemed effortless and just so natural for his hands to go over her body and yes, as they kissed and I watched, without even thinking about it - she spread her legs and let him run his fingers all over and in her pussy as they kissed. She moaned as he penetrated her but never broke their kiss. He pulled his fingertips out of her before their kiss ended and both looked over at me afterwards. I told her/them that they looked hot together and she giggled that she hoped I liked watching and she pushed him back against the couch and she climbed over him and straddled his lap. The tail of his shirt dropped down or I'd have had a clear view of her as she moved into place. I knew from how she was positioned that her pussy was fully spread apart and from where I sat on the arm of the chair across from them, I could in fact see his fingers just below the shirt-tail playing with her pussy. A moment later she sat up on his lap and slid down his shorts and boxers to his knees and I could see she was stroking his cock as she kissed him yet again.
I was speechless but after their latest kiss ended she turned to me and asked "do you like seeing me getting him all hard and ready baby?". I knew from how she sounded that she'd had quite a bit of wine with dinner as she was pushing at me a bit harder. Paul added in that "she has amazing hands.... not to mention the rest of her...." and I literally watched as he grabbed at her breasts. She stroked him a bit more and when I heard him start to moan a bit I had a feeling things were about to move into high-gear.
I wasn't mistaken. Indeed - as they kissed yet again, this time from behind I could see her hand on his cock as she rubbed the head of it up and down and all around her pussy. I thought for a moment they were going to fuck right then and there - but instead - she got up off of him - leaving him lying there leaning back on the couch with his shorts/underware on the floor by his ankles and his hard cock just bobbing away there. She leaned over and kissed him and said out loud "go on up, I'll be up in a second" He got up - stepped out of his shorts/underwear and picked them up and walked half-naked past me up the stairs.
No sooner had he gone into our bedroom did Sue turn to me and give me a huge kiss and she giggled that she ".... feels so like a teenager sneaking up to have sex in my parents bedroom....". God the way she said it left me almost speechless - the excitement and arousal in her voice - I could only imagine how wet she was going to be for him.
Like last time - I know she likes to have some alone time with him. She's admitted that she likes being alone - knowing I'm not there watching as she lets herself go with him - but she made clear to me (and him) that she like me to be there once they are getting into it and he is already or about to fuck her. This time was no different - she lay back against the headboard with her legs spread wide and he tongue deep in her pussy as I got to the door. I don't know if he knew I was there but he told her that she tasted so good to him at one point.
Before she acknowledged I was there I did have a moment of self-reflection. I honestly could think back to the first few times of seeing her naked with Brad and the feeling of knowing she was giving herself so intimately to him. Seeing her naked and more so - seeing her body ready and waiting for him - it was so much of the same feelings seeing her so wanton for him as he pulled his face away from her pussy and began to stroke his cock to put it in her. Even seeing him naked - it just feels good and right now - like I said - watching them - at that moment I loved the thought that he would be fucking her in a minute. It really was beautiful seeing him rub his cockhead up and down her pussy and watching her labia separate and the head of his cock start to spread her wetness around.
Just before he pushed into her they both took attention to me and it was Paul who said "you can come closer if you want" - he didn't miss a beat and in fact by the time I moved to kneeling next to the bed, he was already in her and I could hear her moaning. I don't know if he said it to me but he was louder and he kept saying "that's sooooo good" every few seconds as he slowly pushed his way into her - each time he'd pull back a bit and then go in more he'd say it. She'd moan back at him and it was just so erotic to see and be up so close to.
I still know that he likes me to stay our of his direct sight when i'm there - despite how he seems to be changing a bit - I still stay out of his sight but I also know that Sue likes to watch me or see me when she opens her eyes so I do tend to stay kneeling upright and make eye contact with her at times. She always glances down and smiles when she sees me stroking my cock - she even said something yesterday about it - that it makes her feel good to see me.
They fucked and fucked for a while. Missionary first - and then she turned around and got on her knees and that was the first time Paul actually talked directly to me. He turned his head to me and said "I love it when she's this wet like this" and as I watched - he took his hands and spread her pussy open revealing everything there was - he held her open with one hand and then he smiled as he turned away from me and I know he deliberately kept himself in such a position that I could see everything. Her pussy still looks so tight from how he had to rub his cock all around her and then I could hear her moaning softly as he pushed into her. She let out a deeper moan and I could see he'd finally gotten his cock into her. I know he saw me jerking off but he didn't say anything about it.
He fucked her till she came at least two if not three times. It was obvious each time because she would moan and start to slam herself back against his cock until she'd cum and then she'd stop and shudder with him buried in her and when she did finally lean forward and he pulled back, even I could see his cock was wetter than before. After her first cum - he reached around with one hand and played with her breasts and with the other he managed to reach and rub her clit. She moaned so loudly after that it was so erotic. I honestly didn't even feel like she was my wife at that point - all I could focus on was her wet pussy taking his cock over and over.
It was after her 3rd orgasm that she collapsed forward from him and his cock came sliding wetly out of her. She rolled over onto her back and as she spread her legs again for him she glanced at me and then looked up at him and she said "put it back in me". He smiled - not at me but in general as she pulled her legs back and apart for him and he just moaned softly as he pushed into her once again.
I'd like to say they talked to me or teased me - they did a little bit - she turned to me and smiled as she told him he "felt sooooo gooood" and he did the same when he said out loud "wow.... you're so wet and open....." - but as they got into it more and more - I was forgotten as should be. I was really into it now and I had my pants down and was openly stroking my cock. She said she saw me through her slit-eyes as he fucked her but he never said a word. I lost track of how many times she came this time - instead I was more focused on him. I didn't say anything but I was actually really into watching him fuck her from up close this time. Seeing his curlies mash into her bare mound and seeing how reddened and swollen she was getting the more he went at her - it really got me going. I could hear the squelchy/slurpy sound of her pussy and I was close enough to even smell her as she got really wet and going.
I suppose it's one of the proof's of truly being beta/cuck - I could tell when he was about to cum in her. Just how his thrusts into her changed as well as how she sounded (she says she can feel his cock grow really thicker just before he cums - and that's the sound of it). Longer and slower became faster, deeper and more urgent. Until I saw him really plunge into her erratically one or two times and then I watch him just push into her deep while he stayed in her he kept thrusting until I heard him groan loudly folllowed by a squeal from her - which was immmediately folllowed by a groan from me as I let go all over my hand, leg and the floor. I grunted out "uhhhh... uhhhhh... uhhhhh...." and then "ahhhhh....". I don't think either of them heard me over their own sounds.
He stayed deep in her for several thrusts and then towards the end - he pulled out a bit and then back in - each time now showing me and spreading their mixed wetness all over the place. Even after I'd stopped spurting I kept stroking I was just sooo horny at that moment. The two of them lay still - she wrapped her arms and legs around him and he'd sort of slouched/relaxed against her but was still buried in her. When they caught their breath he pushed up on his forearms and pulled back slightly and then gave her a few short thrusts which made her moan again.
That was when he looked over to me and he stayed watching me as he moved up and then started to pull out of her. Only I wasn't watching him and he knew it. I was glued to where his now softening cock was slipping out of her wet and used pussy. As he slid all the way out of her was when he said to me that he thought he left a lot in her. And as he got up and off the bed - the implication was clear. Even as he walked towards the bathroom Sue had looked over at me and smiled at me having cum as she crooked her finger motioning me to come up on the bed.
He did cum a lot in her - from what had already run out of her to what remained inside - it seemed like a pint of his cum was still in her but I also knew some of it was her own wetness. As I leaned down to start licking she smiled and said "just gently okay honey?" and I knew that meant not to 'stimulate' or turn her on - just to clean her up a bit. I told her she was pretty messy and she smiled and said "you can lick around baby..... just not too much inside....". It seemed to keep on leaking out of her - I'd lick away and think it was done and then as I'd pull back, more apppeared to ooze out of her. She laughed as I had to keep leaning down to lick away another dribble and as she laughed one last time, Paul came out of the bathroom and asked what was going on. She said "you were right...." and she added "it won't stop" (running out of her) which made me feel I had to comment too. I said something like "yeah, I can tell you enjoyed yourself" or something about him enjoying which made him come up to the bed while I was still leaning down every few seconds and giving her a gentle lick - his cock wasn't fully soft but it wasn't hard either - he had washed up.
It was very erotic - I didn't/wouldn't touch him but she did motion him to come up to her and she sucked his cock as I gave her the last few licks. When I pulled away from her pussy finally - I did notice that there was a wet-spot - not terribly big - but clearly a wet-spot beneath her. I got off the bed and he got back into place next to her and he noticed it too and that's when he said "you'll have to get to her sooner next time Steve" as he laughed. It was kind of cool because I laughed back and said "or you can just cum less in her next time" which brought out a giggle from Sue and a "hmmmm - maybe" from Paul.
The 3 of us stayed together for a bit longer. My pants and underwear around my knees and the 2 of them naked on the bed. Sue said something to him about "he got me ready for later" and he looked over at me and said "thanks Steve" as if it were nothing. He was lying on his side and she was on her back and I was on my knees on the floor next to her on the bed. It was so erotic to be there and see them looking at each other and to see his hands freely caressing her breasts and reaching down to feel her body and then her pussy. They talked idly and I chimed in a little bit- but I could tell there was a horniness emerging already. Over the next 10 minutes or so the got more into each other and I became a bystander again. Her legs spread slightly as he kissed her - one hand slipped between them and then one finger I could see probing her pussy - gauging her readiness and it was around then that she turned her head to me and said "can we be alone now baby?". I nodded my head.
I didn't see Paul till the next morning. It wasn't quite the same as the night before but before he left he did shake my hand and tell me that he'd "really enjoyed being with Sue last night" and that he said thank-you again to me.
There was more that she and I talked about after he left as well as my overall thoughts that I'll try to share later or tomorrow, etc.