She Is His

[SoonToBe]

Enigma - no - I know it's me and what's in my head, and well, being alone. It seems to sink in more when she's not here for obvious reasons. I guess I hadn't really realized how comfortable, in many ways, it was with them being here even if it was a bit much at times. I'm sure she enjoyed the relative newness of his place and I'm sure the absence of me and being in our house for a change.

i am still surprised at my own response to everything as some here have said too. It isn't just more sex, I'm very aware in general and from her and what she's shared that this seems to be something that she almost needed if that makes any sense. The little she did share made it clear she wanted it and enjoyed it so it's definitely something she is feeling more comfortable about. But it's my own feelings that are surprising in some ways but not in others. I have this intense feeling about her sexually that I haven't felt in a while - her panties last night and this morning have only peaked it right now again. I know she says she's doing it for herself, but in so many ways that is why I wish she wouldn't - I am hesitant to tell her that I want to know more about how she feels that she wants to wear them. For me, the thought that beneath them, he's had her intimately everywhere now is amazing to feel. I've always loved how it felt to see her lie back and spread her legs for him the way she does now where I know it's what she wants and wants it for him - but to now know he's "posessed her" that way - that she's turned over for him and he's opened her up and filled her now several times with his cum in both holes. I know it should make me frantic - but all it does it make me seethingly horny about it all and eager for her to hopefully get naked with me on Wednesday night and share more with me.

 

[far2easy]

Did you feel lonely beforr or after you came?

 

[peakmb]

Steve,

I think I can understand why you felt so profoundly alone this weekend, even though you have experienced it all before. It is maybe the first time you have experienced the truth of what Sue has been telling you for so long she wants. To totally separate your sex life from hers and for her to totally devote all her sexual energies to Paul. Up to now you have never seen this. Even when Sue was with Robert and she spent all her time with her lover at his house, you had the fall back of a connection almost every time she returned. You know now how much she resented this at the time, but you had no real clue at the time. Up to this year with Paul, you have known that a reconnection was coming (sorry), even if it was delayed for a while. In fact the only upsets from this regime have been when your reconnection was delayed by Sue at times such as the infamous ski weekends, ironically because she wanted to savour the feelings she had generated a little longer.

This year, you have substituted reconnections in your head with a quasi connection, your jerk off sessions both in the room with them or outside listening to them. Sue became your private porn star in the movies in your head and in front of you. I suspect she remains ******* of the full extent you have done this. Her constant asking, ‘Are you okay’, is her thinking the connection is severed (it is in her head) and asking whether you are okay with that. Your answer may be confusing her a little with its strength from you, because you are answering a different question. You are okay with the quasi connection you have generated for yourself. It fuels your denial fantasies and your masturbation dreams. This weekend, for the first time, you have been ****** to confront the reality. Sue wants total separation, and further she wants the feeling to linger for days afterwards. In her head, even Wednesday may be too soon to switch her limited focus back to you for your jerk off session (assisted or not). I would tread carefully if you try to explain the depths of your sorrow to Sue before Wednesday. I suspect she will be somewhat surprised and maybe disappointed that you are not as on board with her mental version of the regime as she thinks you are.

I think the killer question to you is, are you sure that you can separate yourself fully from Sue? Not treat her as a possession that performs for you, not see her as a resource by right for your masturbation sessions, but simply taking what is available and accepting that sometimes that may be nothing. The other related question I suppose is, can you still make a full year of this revealed reality? I think you have survived to date on a false reality in your head and what have been big favours from Sue. You must realize that in order to get where she wants to be mentally, these favours must reduce and her ‘linger times’ must last longer, perhaps becoming continuous for a time if she sees him midweek and at weekends. I’m not all sure you are ready for that, but it is what she has said she wants, and it is what you have answered ‘okay’ to about going (at least maybe in her head).

 

[SoonToBe]

Peak - I think your last paragraph is a bit too far, especially after last night, she was still very into being with me and being a part of my pleasure, just in her own way. She also shared quite a bit more with me both about her weekend and how she's feeling overall. And yes, she did take her panties off and surprisingly, pulled her night-shirt up and let me look at her.

She told me that this IS what she has wanted and she even said that she needed this. It honestly still feels unreal in a way that he truly knows her body more than I ever did now. She told me that anal became easier for them as she felt she was able to relax more. She told me that they even talked about "making it cleaner" and it felt crazy to hear her say "so he can go back and forth... from hole to hole..." and she giggled slightly. I asked her if that was what she'd wanted and she smiled and said it was all part of it, I asked her how much further she needed to go and she looked at me and smiled and with this intensely sexy voice she said "I think that's all of me baby...." and she proceeded to tell me that letting him have her anally has given her the sense of deep fulfillment that she's wanted to feel.

Now I was stroking away and I told her that seeing and knowing he was fucking her that way turned me on and I told her that it turned me on that this was something new she was giving him and that I might not ever have. She told me she loved hearing that as she too felt it was "something special" that she too was, in a teasing but serious voice, thinking that I might not ever have her ass. I told her that I'd remembered what she'd told me about her boyfriend back in college and she giggled and said "yeah, Paul's the second guy who's made me cum that way now".

I moaned out loud that that thought turned me on and I somehow managed to tell her that it turned me on to think about her pussy while he's in her butt. She leaned down towards me and teased that she put her fingers in now and that she "gets so wet" and she told me how "crazy it felt to still feel him that way". In the end, when she told me how she can feel him "get so hard and big" and then "when he cums.... oh god.... baby.... I can feel it so much.....". I came all over myself when she told me how "feeling him in me that way makes me so crazy.....".

What I wanted to end here with was what we talked about as I lay there catching my breath as she played with my cum. She told me that seeing her mom getting older and knowing that she doesn't have her dad at all - and thinking back to the their marriage - how glad she is that she's "getting this out of my system" now. I asked her what she meant and she just said that she feels it's really building to what she's wanted and she looked at me and said how her desire to wear panties now after her time with Paul is just part of it.

I didn't push it further - instead I was encouraging - I told her that I surely missed seeing her and that it surprised me that in some ways that it "makes me want you more". She smiled and kissed me and said "I know baby.... I know.....". I told her honestly that "it feels good talking like this....". She giggled and said "what? you mean while I'm playing with your cum?" I let out a big laugh at that. We shared a truly passionate kiss after which she began to share and kiss and snowball with me.

 

[digger7275]

Thanks for the update.
Happy to hear that you are both getting into the zones that you both wanted.
What's next? And how long?
Tough questions.
I would imagine more physical separation as well as the almost complete sexual separation.
Digger

 

[peakmb]

Nice scene Steve, but it really only proves my point. Sue does enough after her glow has worn off to keep you on board for now and crucially not thinking about the future.

Wisely, it seems you didn't mention your lonely feelings over the weekend, but the premise for them isn't going away. You need to find a way to talk about that if it continues without it sounding like a complaint. Of course Wednesday is not the day to talk about anything seriously, which is why Sue does quite a lot of hers then. It's a false closeness because it is not equal. She could say anything and you'd probably agree with her, whilst you seem to drive any thoughts that don't move you to your orgasm to the back of your mind, never to reappear on the night.

The gap that you caught a first glimpse of last weekend can only grow without being discussed. Sue is ******* of it and you are supressing it. Your cuckold joy outweighs it for now, but for how long?

By the way, where has the history of all your previous threads gone? It was such a rich resource of material for the site.

 

[SoonToBe]

Peak - you're right that I should be clearer with her overall, but I think it needs to be the right time. Personally, I'm thinking if perhaps he will be here this weekend (unknown right now to me) - that maybe afterwards I can simply tell her how much easier it was on me compared to her being at his place. At least it will be a logical way to introduce the subject.

I have no idea about history here - is there an archive site? I'd be sad if it was all gone but I haven't looked.

 

[SoonToBe]

Digger - I'm going to say something now that will sound odd but "I know my wife". I have continued to get the feeling she doesn't view this with Paul as a long-term arrangement despite her professing to "want to make it for real". Just the way she's talked about how she is feeling leaves me to believe she has whatever of an end-state in mind.

 

[dutch12]

Nice scene Steve, but it really only proves my point. Sue does enough after her glow has worn off to keep you on board for now and crucially not thinking about the future.

Wisely, it seems you didn't mention your lonely feelings over the weekend, but the premise for them isn't going away. You need to find a way to talk about that if it continues without it sounding like a complaint. Of course Wednesday is not the day to talk about anything seriously, which is why Sue does quite a lot of hers then. It's a false closeness because it is not equal. She could say anything and you'd probably agree with her, whilst you seem to drive any thoughts that don't move you to your orgasm to the back of your mind, never to reappear on the night.

The gap that you caught a first glimpse of last weekend can only grow without being discussed. Sue is ******* of it and you are supressing it. Your cuckold joy outweighs it for now, but for how long?

By the way, where has the history of all your previous threads gone? It was such a rich resource of material for the site.

You are correct Peak, everything starting June 2007 is gone, except 1 thread from 2009 and his last thread "She is his". Last week all years were still there!
Let's hope Curt Bruch still has his backup. He is writing "books" of Steves journey (with Steve's Approval).
(Start from June 2007, but he doesn't use data) in Cuckold stories: called "Journal of a Journey".

 

[Curt Bruch]

You are correct Peak, everything starting June 2007 is gone, except 1 thread from 2009 and his last thread "She is his". Last week all years were still there!
Let's hope Curt Bruch still has his backup. He is writing "books" of Steves journey (with Steve's Approval).
(Start from June 2007, but he doesn't use data) in Cuckold stories: called "Journal of a Journey".

Yep, it's all true. Every post safely filed!

 

[SoonToBe]

An honest thanks here Curt!!!!

Not much new to share other than that Paul will be coming here again tomorrow evening. I haven't asked yet but it seems there's less talk now about wanting another night with him too. All part of what I was saying I am feeling, that perhaps we are approaching the plateau she's wanted.

 

[Curt Bruch]

An honest thanks here Curt!!!!

Not much new to share other than that Paul will be coming here again tomorrow evening. I haven't asked yet but it seems there's less talk now about wanting another night with him too. All part of what I was saying I am feeling, that perhaps we are approaching the plateau she's wanted.

It's my pleasure (so to speak!) Just hope that folks are following the saga which will make my labors worthwhile.

 

[SoonToBe]

They're worthwhile for me - it's a crazy feeling to read back how I used to feel about sex and all of this and to compare with how I am feeling now.

We will be at 4 months this weekend from the last time I had sex with my wife. It feels so crazy to say that. Even more because, I wonder if perhaps I've/we've finally passed the point where it seems okay now. The desires are still definitely there, but honestly, it seems to be easier and easier to think about moving forward. The urgency I had so often and so deeply felt truly seems to have abated. It's been replaced by this ongoing simmering-almost-boiling desire that seems to be incredibly fulfilling in and of itself.

 

[dutch12]

It's my pleasure (so to speak!) Just hope that folks are following the saga which will make my labors worthwhile.

Hi Curt,
Your "Journal of a Journey, Book One" has (allready) been removed in Cuckold Stories. How long were you planning to let the booklets stay over there?

 

[Curt Bruch]

Hi Curt,
Your "Journal of a Journey, Book One" has (allready) been removed in Cuckold Stories. How long were you planning to let the booklets stay over there?

Dutch, it hasn't been removed by me so can't answer the question. All I can say is that I am posting this saga to Darkwanderer.net which seems to be a bit more stable/reliable than here. (re. STB's earlier posts being removed, wtf?!)

 

[peakmb]

Curt, you seem to be being somewhat disingenuous there. Darkwanderer and this site share an ownership structure, it also operates as a pay to read site in places so your story will be generating income to them (and maybe to you). They will clearly have the technology to remove it from here if it is posting there (otherwise people will get it here for free). I can't see how you didn't know this really.

It may even be that the same powers have removed STBs posts because they so clearly are the basis for yours (either that or STB is planning the same move). It's called the Law of Unintended Consequences. Either way, it has ripped one of the hearts out of this site in order to transplant it elsewhere.

 

[Curt Bruch]

Curt, you seem to be being somewhat disingenuous there. Darkwanderer and this site share an ownership structure, it also operates as a pay to read site in places so your story will be generating income to them (and maybe to you). They will clearly have the technology to remove it from here if it is posting there (otherwise people will get it here for free). I can't see how you didn't know this really.

It may even be that the same powers have removed STBs posts because they so clearly are the basis for yours (either that or STB is planning the same move). It's called the Law of Unintended Consequences. Either way, it has ripped one of the hearts out of this site in order to transplant it elsewhere.

Peak - I am an innocent in a world of cynical people. I have no hidden agendas and if folks want to take advantage of what I enjoy doing, then so be it. I'm too long in the tooth to worry about such things. Indeed, my short-term memory is so bad that I'll most probably forget about this conversation by the end of the evening!

 

[dutch12]

Almost 11 years of a couples sexual history, the comments of followers, all gone! Whoever is behind this "putch", it's a shame.
I myself had 94 posts (in Steve's threads), just 6 left now, in his recent thread.
I don't point to anyone, but there sure is something going on.
Steve should contact the admin for an explanation and demand to replace all the content of these 11 years!
Curt's booklets are fine, but the feeling of being there as an observer is (was) only via the forum threads.
I don't think it's Curts foult, nor Steve's. I gues there is someone with commercial intends.
As I some time ago jokingly wrote Steve's journey could be a bestseller like "Fifty grades of grey" maybe someone got the same idea.

B.t.w. Curt, I did find your first 5 books on Darkwanderer! Thanks.

 

[peakmb]

Fair enough, but being ignorant of the effects does not make you innocent of the consequences. I fear that one action has led to another as the overall site's commercial interest has taken priority over its readers / users. It's a part of having such a site free at our point of use but it's sad sometimes when it happens. Still, perhaps we should hand it back to STB for now. Let's see where it goes for him.

 

[SoonToBe]

i suppose I can try to PM the site-admin.
Stay tuned.