I wish I had more time this morning to share, but I do not, so I'll try to be brief.
To answer Bev's questions - Sue continued to say she doesn't "love" Paul and that while they may share pillow-talk it doesn't seem to include professions of love for each other. Still, I do not know what is said in those quiet moments of theirs together - which both arouses me and sometimes concerns me. I know she is very into everything now with Paul as I'll try to expand on in the short time I have - no it wouldn't bother me if she did say she had feelings for him though, if she doesn't I suspect she is denying them - I understand that for her, some degree of emotional involvement is probably a requirement at this point - but so far, it seems to be good for her and for us as things have been good that way since I've been back. I may start a new thread in January, I hadn't really thought about it though.
I am still feeling all sorts of things since I've been back. I don't think I look at her or feel any differently about her, I still love her, but I have this deep sense of arousal that I began to feel when I was away, about her. I've told her that I loved that she shared herself so fully with him and she admitted that it was a bit of a taste of what she'd thought she'd wanted earlier when she'd spoken of wanting a "big affair" and that living with her lover for a period of time was a big part of that. When we talked about it more though, she said that this was in some ways too much and too early for both of them but more for her and she admitted she should have really gone home after Wednesday night / Thursday morning and not gone back Thursday night. She admitted that it was too much by that point and that while the sex was "amazing" (her words) that by Thursday after work when she was going to his place that she felt sort of obligated to finish the week out and to have sex with him again. The way she said it didn't sound good to me and she admitted that she wasn't ready to throw herself so far into things with him right now and she said she'd hoped that would have happened after we'd gone away skiing and not before - that it would have been something that started smaller with 1 or 2 nights in a row and not 5. But then she told me that on Thursday night she started to think about me - and how I would want her to go back with him once more while she still could (and I told her she was probably right) and how she wanted to tell me how much shed' given herself to him and that seemed to make it seem complete. I joked with her back and said "yeah, and the sex was good too!" and she giggled and said that it was.
She asked me to share how I felt and I told her what I'd shared here - I told her late Friday night that I was going to want her and want to have sex with her and I even told her that I needed to. She smiled and said she'd thought I was going to be feeling that way from how I'd sounded on the phone and how eager I'd been to hear about things (and how I was in general) when I got home. She looked at me and said "but we weren't supposed to be doing that until January" and then asked "what does this mean?" . I told her that I didn't know if there was any greater meaning other than the week away had gotten me quite horny and knowing what she was doing and I looked at her and I said that I didn't want to tell her this but I was going to and I told her that this was one of those times when I was going to want or even need her when I knew she may not be in the mood for me.
She giggled and said that she and Paul had been talking and that she'd told him a lot more about me and us (yes, she still stuck to the intermittent ED issues too) and that she looked at me and said that she wasn't surprised at hearing what I was saying and she said "as long as you use a condom, it'll be okay" and then she added that "I'll probably be in the mood by the end" and she added that she and Paul had talked about this very situation (more of which I'll have to share later or tomorrow or Thursday).
But for those of you who wondered - late Friday night - or more accurately, early Saturday morning - it was my turn to climb between her spread legs and gaze down at her nakedness while she gently rubbed her pussy to get it ready for me. Yes she teased me about "is it still wet from this morning" - it wasn't but her words still did the trick. She smiled when I tugged the condom into position and said she was hoping that I was still going to want to use them - and she added that "after last week, I was going to insist" - and she smiled even more when I told her that desire hadn't changed ( she later told me that answer had relieved her tremendously, that I still wanted to be the beta ). The obligatory teases were there for sure - including her asking "does it feel different after being with Paul so much?" and I groaned back something about "yeah, it feels tight at the bottom but not at the top" alluding to how his cock is shaped and she groaned back. It felt good to feel her pussy spasm around my cock and to feel her both get wetter and more open at that moment. And soon enough, both of our teases became moans of pleasure as she orgasmed first and then I followed just after. We lay there hugging and kissing while I stayed in her. I thought she'd reach down as I started to soften and when she didn't, I did - but she pulled my hand away and told me to "let it go, I'll clean up your mess" and we continued to lay there hugging and kissing.
