need advice from a wife...

[JenniferB]

hair body language

I'm a single white woman but would like to comment on the body language question you had. When I see a man who interests me I put my hair back (mine is very long, down to my waist) so he can see my face better. That is very subtle body language on her part that she wants you to see her better and a prelude for uncovering other parts of her that you might want to see. Just my perspective... good luck, Jen

 

[TheBlackCat]

just talk to her

 

[Raunchy Randy]

You've not yet actually met the lady, but you're already asking for help in getting into her panties. Well, before you score, you've got to get to first base (or, at least get into the GAME)...

Some old-fashioned people (like me) might think that the best way to begin to do that is to (1) introduce yourself; (2) NOT focus so much on the seduction of the woman; (3) use your social skills to become a friend of hers. I mean, assuming these acts are not foreign to you, I'd think that in the process of accomplishing them, you'll be able to determine the level of HER interest in you. If all she's doing is being friendly, that will make itself clear, and you've potentially gained a friend. If she does have a sexual interest in you, you'll know that too. Then you can come back here, and we'll help you get to second base.

Seriously, human nature will take it's course; your skills (or lack of them) will be the ultimate determinor in whether you succeed with this woman. Asking the Forum to help you get where you want to be with this woman can help, but YOU'VE got to put in the work. You express yourself well, but your lack of confidence in approaching this woman seems to indicate that your social skills need work. Just my opinion.

OBTW, that e-mail thingy is risky. If she's only being friendly, you won't have to ever wory about her being friendly, again... The old-fashioned use of your social skills work best.

 

[8x6BM4WF]

Some good points Randy

 

[Kristina]

Not sure I agree with Maria about wandering about in your Speedo. I think a black man in a good looking suit and tie is lots more interesting to me than one who just calls out for me to check out the bulge in the Speedo.

If you are looking to meet her, why don't you first meet him? If her hubby is out mowing the lawn, go over and ask him about his lawn mower or some other guy thing that gets you the introduction you are looking for? After all, if she is interested in you, she is going to have a much easier time explaining to hubby why she is chatting with the "nice black man" down the block if he knows who you already.

I completely agree - there's nothing more sexier than a good looking man dressed to the nines.

HOWEVER, you ARE married and your cock belongs to your wife (unless of course she's agreed to share...).

 

[maria_canoli]

I hear you Sandy, and I know you speak from experience. But this is a women who I'm sensing needs to be lured. She wants escape from her life if only for a moment. That is what those stolen glances at him seem like to me. He needs to feed that curiosity/hunger unless of course all of this is his imagination, lol! But it probably isn't. I think he needs to fan her flame.
My guy showed it to me, and then he left me alone to think about it. soon I was looking for him. In retrospect, I see that he knew exactly what he was doing.

 

[hotblack4hotwife]

What GREAT comments. Especially from a female's perspective. EXACTLY what I needed to hear.

Comments about her body language (pulling her hair behind her ears when she sees me). Interesting. I notice her harried frustration when she shuffles to and fro in her SUV. And when she's talking to other neighbors as I drive by, I can see she can't focus and yes she returns stolen glances so slightly as not to let the neighbor's notice.

I think the overall consensus here is "JUST SAY HELLO". But I want to avoid an uncomfortable awkwardness since I rarely walk down the block in our suburban neighborhood. Makes better sense if I make this move at the grocery store. Not worried about my social skills. (I’m usually the one that gets the conversation started;-)

I definitely won't focus on seducing this woman. I just want to know if the vibe I get from her is valid. I want to see where this can lead. Of course the whole idea sounds seductive and HOT. Black husband up the street white wife down the street. Escapism, hot summer nights, sexual tension. Taboo...

lets see what the days bring

Confused in Connecticut

 

[Stretcher74]

What GREAT comments. Especially from a female's perspective. EXACTLY what I needed to hear.

Comments about her body language (pulling her hair behind her ears when she sees me). Interesting. I notice her harried frustration when she shuffles to and fro in her SUV. And when she's talking to other neighbors as I drive by, I can see she can't focus and yes she returns stolen glances so slightly as not to let the neighbor's notice.

I think the overall consensus here is "JUST SAY HELLO". But I want to avoid an uncomfortable awkwardness since I rarely walk down the block in our suburban neighborhood. Makes better sense if I make this move at the grocery store. Not worried about my social skills. (I’m usually the one that gets the conversation started;-)

I definitely won't focus on seducing this woman. I just want to know if the vibe I get from her is valid. I want to see where this can lead. Of course the whole idea sounds seductive and HOT. Black husband up the street white wife down the street. Escapism, hot summer nights, sexual tension. Taboo...

lets see what the days bring

Confused in Connecticut

Randy is dead on with the problems with your body language, attitude, game. Sending her an e-mail at a work address is just creepy. "I found you on the internet" = "I'm a creepy lifeless stalker". Maybe you are a large muscular person with a powerful physical presence and she's frigging herself to sleep over it twice a night. Maybe hubby has the same fantasy. It doesn't matter because you will never be in unless she feels 'comfortable' enough around you (while still uncomfortable enough to be turned on).

The solution is to invite both her and her husband over for BBQ with you and your wife. Talk with the husband and become a friend/normal person. Communicate strength and confidence but don't flirt with her in front of him obviously.

Now you're a normal socialized, friend who keeps his wife immensely satisfied and cheerful . If she wants something *more* she'll invite herself over to borrow power tools or something and nature can take its course. You can subtley physically flirt with her whenever husband is not around (not on first meeting).

Or you can take the suggestions from here to take the day off work and hide around in her back garden/bushes untill she calls the cops ! - yikes !

 

[hotblack4hotwife]

Stetcher

Just so you know:
I've never sent her an email
I've never called.

I AGREE. it would be stupid and creepy. I don't watch her from afar. I don't creep around her home. All I've done is gone back and forth to work.
I don't think anywone in this post suggested to "take the day off work and hide around in her back garden/bushes " eeewwww

We wave when we see each other. Her "look" gave me a vibe thus this post for more input from other women. That's it.

I won't ask hubby over for bbq. If you read previous post, he and wife once strolled by the house. She waved hello, he didn't even crack a smile. I got the hint.

 

[DaBlackBuzz]

hotblack
Use your instincts!
You know what will work on her better than all of us because you are living in the situation. All we can do is offer advice based on the limited amount of information we have. Deep inside you know what to do. If the voice inside is telling you to go for it then go for it. If the voice inside says back off then back off. Believe it or not we as men have very strong intuition about women but we let our sexy drives cloud our vision.

Seriously, I think you know what to do.
And I bet you have a plan already formulated.

 

[hotblack4hotwife]

Da Black Buzz,

thank you

And you're correct. I have some ideas. First I'm letting some time pass. Afterall crushes come n go. We'll see.

I'll keep you posted

 

[Stretcher74]

Da Black Buzz,

thank you

And you're correct. I have some ideas. First I'm letting some time pass. Afterall crushes come n go. We'll see.

I'll keep you posted

>> get the feeling hubby isn't to keen about me. 2 years ago they strolled by the house. She waved hello. He was straight faced. I took the hint that he's not too friendly.

If 2 years have passed I don't think you're likely to ever fuck this woman. 80% of the window of opportunity is within 7-10Hours of interaction within 2 weeks of meeting her.

Don't take this the wrong way, I was just/am trying to be helpful.

Consider also that women are hardly disinterested or removed observers of their own behavior in giving you advice.

Body Language: I've read 3-4 books on this and it's all very interesting. She flicks her hair so she is horny/receptive ! Wow ! Some of it it is even true. But it misses the point, which is to act confident and *know* that you are wanted.

You Said: "Gee. I wish she would just stop her car in front of my door and honk her horn to bring attention to her blossoming black-white-love fixation"

You might as well wish for her to grow a big dick and screw you with it. Maybe that would give you permission. Guys are supposed to be the ones with the balls.

Don't worry though,go ahead and procrastinate through the rest of your life, to paraphrase Hellen Keller: you'll be dead soon anyways.

All in good fun,

- Stretcher

 

[hotblack4hotwife]

It's going to happen...

Stretcher74

I hear ya brotha. But the waves and looks are getting more intense. There is no doubt now. She makes it a point to look for me when she passes by. Not shy by any means It's just a very tricky situation.

I'll keep you all posted.

 

[Raunchy Randy]

Stretcher74

I hear ya brotha. But the waves and looks are getting more intense. There is no doubt now. She makes it a point to look for me when she passes by. Not shy by any means It's just a very tricky situation.

I'll keep you all posted.

I've followed this thread since it started, and even made (what I thought was) some suggestions as to how you might proceed. I thought you'd gotten up to bat, at least...

Now, some time has passed and by way of keeping us 'posted,' you come back here and tell us what SHE'S doing. What are YOU doing?

My perception of this whole situation (if it's not something you've made up) is that now SHE'S the agressor (making a point to look for you...), and you seem to be COWERING in your home behind thick curtains, hiding. At this rate, the only way you're gonna ever be inside of her is if SHE comes in to your home and rapes you.

As I've said in other threads, BE A MAN... REPRESENT!

You're either completely lacking in self-confidence, or... You have a vivid imagination.

 

[rhino]

Man u r killing us. Grow some balls and ask her out for some GODDAM COFFEE! What the fuck is the problem? Is it the crush u got on her? Is that what is fucking with your mind? Forget that shit man! Just ask her out for coffee! Then when she says yes u can go home and jerk off till your dick blows up.

 

[hotblack4hotwife]

Raunchy Randy, Rhino, et all

I HEAR YA, I HEAR YA!!! She's but 10 houses down the block. The "looks" glances and waves are all while in the safe comfort of driving. None of you if you were smart would take the risk. What if she rejects my obvious advances and then what? Word spreads to other wives and hubby's in the burbs? "watch out, married black guy up the block will hit on your white wife". Much at stake. I have to be 100% positive I'm making the right move. Ok at least 95%.

 

[Raunchy Randy]

Raunchy Randy, Rhino, et all

I HEAR YA, I HEAR YA!!! She's but 10 houses down the block. The "looks" glances and waves are all while in the safe comfort of driving. None of you if you were smart would take the risk. What if she rejects my obvious advances and then what? Word spreads to other wives and hubby's in the burbs? "watch out, married black guy up the block will hit on your white wife". Much at stake. I have to be 100% positive I'm making the right move. Ok at least 95%.

Well, only you know how much all this is worth to you. I know a bit about risk assessment, risk management, and risk mitigation. You've assessed the risk, apparently are in the process of trying to manage the risk, in hopes of mitigating it. From your posts, you leave many of us with the impression that the risks outweigh the benefits.

If that is the case, my thoughts are that you should just leave it alone. She's probably already searching for another potential outlet for her sexual needs (assuming you haven't also misinterpreted her glances).

I did a bit of research (through your posts in other DC threads) and see that you're apparently NOT a rookie. You've engaged in 'encounters' with (at least) three other married women by your own account. Why is is that you were able to get off the mark in those cases, but this one has you stymied? Each encounter might be different, but it ain't rocket science; you size up the situation, make the necessary decisions and adjustments, and put your instincts to work. You would certainly not be the first BM to have engaged a MWF who lived in the same neighborhood.

I see myself as a rather effective erotic short-story writer. I know enough to know that eventually you have to get out of chapter one... Otherwise, the story gets stale. Get in touch--I'll help you write the 'initial contact' scenes.

 

[hotblack4hotwife]

"I know a bit about risk assessment, risk management, and risk mitigation"
"get out of chapter one... Otherwise, the story gets stale"

Good stuff RR! The difference between this situation and past situations is the first wife contacted ME. The other two their HUBBY's contacted me.

This situation is the unknown abyss. Folks my apologies for wasting your time but I can't do it. Too risky. I'm writing it off as a mere drive by flirt. I posted my questions on a women's site and I obviously got SLAMMED. I don't want to be looked at as the creep on the block. I'm going about my biz.

but... if she ever approaches me, the shit is ON!!!!

 

[Raunchy Randy]

Review This Thread!!

"I know a bit about risk assessment, risk management, and risk mitigation"
"get out of chapter one... Otherwise, the story gets stale"

Good stuff RR! The difference between this situation and past situations is the first wife contacted ME. The other two their HUBBY's contacted me.

This situation is the unknown abyss. Folks my apologies for wasting your time but I can't do it. Too risky. I'm writing it off as a mere drive by flirt. I posted my questions on a women's site and I obviously got SLAMMED. I don't want to be looked at as the creep on the block. I'm going about my biz.

but... if she ever approaches me, the shit is ON!!!!

Since this was an 'amusing thread' for me, I thought to conduct a little review just for you, Hotblack4hotwife...

I'm interested in knowing what the consensus was of his 'dilemna...'

Was Hotblack4hotwife just trying to BS us BS'ers?

Or, is he really the overly cautious would-be suitor who didn't know how to go about handling his business?

 

[hotblack4hotwife]

RR

So what were the results of your little consensus? Trust me I'm not BS'ing. But she's 10 blocks down. I can't take dumb risks. I will let you know how things progress. I'm ready if she's willing.