My name says it all.

[am_I_a_cuck?]

alabull, sadly you are right. I hate myself for doing this but its like I'm in a trap. It was a fantasy, then it became reality and I found myself and emotional wreck. My wife has taken advantage of my emotional state to go full bore and totally dominate me in a way I wouldn't never thought she could.

As I am a co-dependent she knows I can't live without her, emotionally. I have subjected myself to her humiliation and I can't get out. She has found a marriage counselor, for me. She is helping me understand my wifes affairs and how it was I that pushed my wife to do what she did. I didn't think I did, but she brings up good points about my co-dependence.

My wife is nice to me, if you guys are wondering. She doesn't come home and yell at me, or keep me in chains and such. We kiss, we hug, she says she loves me. We dine out, movies, beach, etc. On the surface we have a fairly normal marriage, except for my sadness over what is going on. And there is no doubt she is the boss, we hardly argue as I just don't talk back I suppose. I mean, if I fuck up she does take me upstairs, but its not daily or anything.

We make love a few times a week, and I do eat her often, almost daily I'd say. Granted, usually most friday night, or 2 or so saturdays are her nights out. Sometimes I think she may get a quckie from her b/f during the week. But she spends the night with me and has rarely stayed out all night, only a few times.

But yes alabull, she does bring home her pussy and I can tell its been used by another guy. She says they use a condom most of the time but I don't think so.

I hate myself for doing this, but I don't know what to do. Maybe I should find my own therapist.

 

[am_I_a_cuck?]

alabull, you said it doesn't end with me eating her freshly used pussy....what could be worse than that? I mean come on.

 

[Cuck Curious]

Wake up

Dude- wake up! You are even on the wrong website, this is a cuckolds forum, and I think even the most hard-core cuckold-ite would tell you its a mutually agreed-upon situation. There's no mutual agreement between you and your wife, you found out and she has told you to take it or leave it. The infidelity site you have gone to is more appropriate.
Did you say on your last post that you don't have your own therapist? I suppose you are going to one that your wife lined up. Wake up and get your own therapist. And don't listen to those who try to tell you to accept it and enjoy, its not based on mutual respect and love(even though your wife says she loves you, she just wants to keep the status-quo going). And the spanking aspect assures that she will(if she hasn't already)lose all respect for you. This power thing is something that will accelerate, its addictive to the person with the power(your wife)and she will come to desire more and more of it.
My advice is to get out as soon as possible and protect yourself legally and financially, not to mention physically and emotionally(you've already allowed her to cruelly abuse you in those two areas). And get your own therapist, perferably a male one. Hope you will do this for your own sake...

 

[am_I_a_cuck?]

CC, thanks. I came here to understand what cuck was as I was looking up infidelity and adultery, and they mentioned the word cuckold.

I see that I am not a cuck, I do not enjoy it at all. My wife is cheating on me, in front of my face, and trying to force me to accept it. As she knows I'm co-dependent on her it will be hard for me to say, "fuck you, I'm leaving"....I've got to do it guys..I've got to.

Someone mentioned working out, etc. If you saw me on the street you would not even think a woman would do what she is doing to me. I think the reason she doesn't bring her b'f's home is well I am a big dude. I do work out, (which doesn't mean I'm a bad ass), but I am tattooed all over, sleeved, etc. I have a buzzed hair cut, and I ride a Harley. I don't have anyone fucking with me, but one...my fucking wife. So if I lost my temper and she had her b/f over it probably would not end good....that I promise.

Why do I let her do this to me?

I am seeing a therapist she found, yes. And yes she's a woman. My sister, mom and even two of my daughters don't understand why I am allowing myself to take the blame for her past affairs, (nobody but my wife and I know about her current lover(s), they all think it was the affairs from 10yrs ago only).

The therapist really doesn't talk a whole lot about the affairs, she says when I get over my co-dependence. Then we will get into the affairs, in depth.

In some respects I feel more weak towards my wife, in some I want to say, fuck you. I do love her, but I don't feel I'm IN LOVE with her. I have never cheated and have always been faithful and this is what happens. .

I know there is a good woman for me. While I have fanstasized about my wife with another man I do not like it and as such then I am not a cuck and I am going to do something about it.

She doesn't love me, really. She doesn't respect me, so what am I holding onto? Her pussy? Its nice but most all women have nice pussies, and are nice to their man as well.

Thanks guys, you are giving me new life, hearing other men being honest with me...its not a fucking fantasy anymore, she is out there fucking guys....bitch!

But its ok, I will just bide my time and not eat her, not fuck her, and I will look for another lady friend. My sisters are always trying to hook me up with one of their friends. I meet women all the time and talk openly, I am not shy to strike up a conversation.

Thanks men.

 

[biginfl]

I think you've got the right idea. But, i also think it may be better for you in the long run to get a divorse. I went through a simular experience with my wife. I kept hanging on hoping my love would win out. I was weak and couldn't give up my sexy hot wife and turn my life upside down. So I hung on while she continued he love affairs. Years later I was disabled and was afraid I'd live a life crippled and alone. So, I continued to saty with her. She treated me well and took good care of me. She also continued to have lovers behind my back. The deceit is the worse. Now, we are a lot older and she is not very sexy any more. I'm left in a marriage of covenience and have not experienced true love. Save yourself. If you are healthy and can afford to split, do so. There will be other women and if you are lucky maybe a woman worthy of your love.

 

[am_I_a_cuck?]

Yes biginfl, I am healthy, and I do attract women. You guys, by being so honest, have opened my eyes.

I make good money, she doesn't even really work. I have a great job, and while not rich I make over 100k a yr. Our kids are all older, so no child support. My kids even told me a while back when I told them of my co-dependence and how I can't live without their mom. They were like, what? what? You make all the money, its your house, she doesn't work or anything. They think she is a controlling, hot tempered nut case, and they've told me this to my face.

I am a good person and have a good heart, I do not deserve this shit.

I will update you guys on what happens next or where I am going. I need the inner strength. First thing is I am getting a new therapist, a man, and hopefully he can help me a bit.

Thanks again guys. This may be a site for fetishes, but you guys are real and have helped, know it or not.

 

[Bradley]

Get your own therapist.

Get control of the situation. Get what you want out of it.

Look, I don't want to go into some long story or make this about me, but like every other post that starts that way, I'm going to anyway.

I had a wife. She was beautiful. Smart, funny, everything. She was someone that challenged me and that I could respect. And deep down, I think that's what we all need. Fast forward some amount of time. There was a time that I could tell she lost respect for me.

I went on a vacation with my family. I have a brother, who I love. But I make about 2x as much as him, and he has more bad habits than I do. I'm not putting him down, I'm just saying that I had to finally stand up for myself and say "Damnit, I deserve better than this." It's funny, but my sister was going through the same thing w/ a boyfriend of hers. Luckily, she did it before they even got engaged.

During the vacation my SIL said that my brother will always love her b/c she brings up his porn webpage for when he gets home from work and she sucks his dick. I love both my brother & SIL for their honesty. And I thought to myself, here's my brother who works hard, but doesn't have the drive that I do, and he gets that? And I get the sh-t that I do?

I'd fucking never get great head. And we'd only have sex on Saturdays. The sex was god-awful and she hated doing it. Well, I deserved better.

Do what you love. Think about what you want in life. What's funny is that in some ways, I bet your wife comes to respect you more if you find out and pursue what you love. I wish you the best my friend.

-- B

 

[Cuck Curious]

Good to hear it

I'm glad to hear your resolve. Stay strong, Man. You can get thru this with your life and dignity intact. We'll be here for you.

 

[marys_pet]

Best of luck to you, am_I_a_cuck. Be strong.

 

[alabull]

alabull, you said it doesn't end with me eating her freshly used pussy....what could be worse than that? I mean come on.

Hey man, if this woman is devious enough to have a self described big strapping guy like yourself submit himself to her spanking, do you think she would hesitate in shortly having you wearing panties, or locking you into a chastity device (she has already told you that you are foundered in celebacy, save sex from her, due to your not going and getting it in the past)?

When you are bent over for that spanking, what is going to be your reaction when she informs you that you are going to be wearing the new butt plug she has brought home for you...probably will tell you that it is to remind you of how she feels when you are in her, and she wants you to know the feeling, to understand.

If she enjoys your humiliation through spanking a big, grown man, she will eventually trust a bf enough to want him to enjoy the humiliation too, but will justify it to you that it is just so that bf will understand the situation better, and that he will know that you are of no real threat to him. She will eventually start to tell you that there really is not any difference in you eating his come out of her pussy, and your just going ahead and licking it off of his still-throbbing dick, that he as just pulled out of her pussy.....oh, and bf really likes having his ass licked, you know, while your down there....

and since you are already accustomed to the feel of that butt plug......well, suffice it to say that it was not YOUR dick in her that the butt plug was there to emulate.

Read some of the older posts here and other places, my assertions are not that abstract, some might even say they are quite common. You are being reeled in like the tan new guy on the cell block. You need to go out and get some pussy. If you can muster you resolve, the wives of some of the cucks here may be prospects. They would probably love rubbing their part in your "salvation from cuckdom" in their own little he-hussy's nose. Seeing them may also serve as a preminition of your plight if you don't act. Now.

 

[am_I_a_cuck?]

alabull, we've PM'd a several times, you know the deal now. Everyone else, i am getting off of this ride. I didn't sign up for this, it was a fantasy that became a reality nightmare. I don't enjoy this shit, nor do I need it.

For you guys what are cucks, and enjoy it, more power, (or lack of), to you.

As for me I'm done. I will post and update as alabull has given me some good ideas. So have a lot of posters on here, I appreciate everyones advise and help. This is a fetish site, but there is good stuff on here that applies to real life. I've gotten better advise on here than from the infidelity site, or even my therapist.

You guys are straight up, thanks.

 

[Jorge88]

There is something very important

Dear AIAC:

Well there is something very important that must be established.
Cuckolding is all about love.
It is not about abuse.
It is not about sadness or about unhappiness.

So if in your case you are sad and are suffering and crying we have a question:
Why are you still in this relationship?

Please explain why.
Because there is no valid reason for you to be in this relationship.

Also in the things you write there is a clear contradiction.
I think that you are confusing Cuckolding and Sadomasochistic relationships.
In some Cuckolding relationships there is an element of Domination and Submissiveness. But this is always something that is done because both persons in the relationship accept and enjoy this aspect of Cuckolding.

But a Sadomasochistic relationship where one of the persons is abused and is suffering has absolutely no reason to exist.

Just to remind you:
A masochist must enjoy what he is doing. Otherwise it has no point and is nothing but abuse.

So please read this post carefully and please answer truthfully.
Otherwise everything you have said has no point and no reason to exist.

Best Regards:
Jorge and Alicia

 

[Custer Laststand]

Am_I_a_cuck,

Guess I lost track of your thread; I was out of town for a while.

Thanks for all the good replies and for understanding, this is very emotional for me.

You're welcome. And yes, I can see that.

So even if a man isn't a willing participant in his wife's infidelities, or if he doesn't know, he is, by definition, a cuckold?

Yes. The definition of a cuckold is, "a man with an unfaithful wife" (where "unfaithful" means she fucks other men). It's short and simple.

I don't mean the fetish viewpoint.

"Fetish viewpoints" are marital styles adopted (or not) by particular women and their cuckold husbands.

I am being ****** to submit to my wife's desires, or seek a divorce.

I suggest choosing the former. Lots of men with more-dominant wives are submissive to them. You'll have lots of company. There's even a name for marriages of this nature: they're called femdom ("female dominant") marriages.

What does that say about me?

Nothing. In roughly half the marriages in the world (this is a crude guess, of course), the woman is higher on the "female sexuality scale" than the man is on the "male sexuality scale." This means, in essence, your wife is "better" at sex than you are; i.e., she needs more of it. Probably there are things you are better at.... playing basketball, for instance? Swimming? Maybe you understand math better than she does? You get the idea... (I hope).

I feel so horrible. I have zero self esteem, my spirit has been crushed.

Your "defeated" point of view is an expression of ancient judeochristian religious values, under which women were the property of their husbands (literally), propagated forward to the present. Ancient, irrelevant religious values are hard and take great amounts of time to get rid of, but now you need to do that. Your wife is *not* something you own, like your television set. She's a person in her own right... and she owns the rights to her own body. Here's the concept you need to adapt yourself to: sexual lust and the drive to satisfy it are NOT the same as the love and mutual acceptance necessary to sustain a marriage.

I appreciate the advise from everyone and I will read what you suggested Custer.

Good. It's been a while now.... did you find a copy of Baker's book? Have you finished reading it yet? If so, what are your thoughts on it?

While I may have to accept my wifes infidelities...

Yes, I think you will. The secret to having a continuing good relationship with your wife will be accepting her sexual needs, and recognizing that her need to fuck other men does not mean she doesn't love you. If you can become accepting of her needs, my guess is she will love you more (perhaps much more).

I do not ever think I can do some of the things guys do here. I am not judging anyone, but I dunno, its very difficult just wrapping my head around all of this.

That's OK. You don't have to do what (some) other people do. Like your wife, you are your own person.

At this point I am more on the side of what Anglebaby said, my wife has lied to me for all of these years. She came out with it all after I found out and confronted her. I don't know how much I can trust her. Sure she is telling me this stuff now and what she is going to do, but that's after I found out on my own. I don't know what else she has done over the years or what she really intends to do in the future.

Don't be so paranoid. Now that you know what's going on, you know you don't have to "trust" your wife anymore because you know what she's doing (i.e., you found out and she said yes, that's what I'm doing). In a sense, you also know the future of your marriage because your wife told you that too: she's going to continue taking lovers.

Beyond that, there's no point in obsessing over the future. As Yogi Berra put it: "Predictions are difficult. Especially of the future."

Our vows have been broken and I took them seriously. I have NEVER cheated on her in our 30 years of being married.

Yes.... you already mentioned that. You're Mr. Squeeky Clean, and you've discovered your wife is not Mrs. Squeeky Clean. Rather, she's a real woman. So, get a grip. This isn't the end of the world. It will be the beginning of a new, much more erotic marriage for both of you, if you can accept your wife for who she is and let it happen.

—Custer

 

[Saraha]

Absolutely no point in doing anything you don't enjoy. Follow your bliss whatever that might be. If you enjoy CBT, then you will attract more opportunities to experience it.

If you don't like CBT, then stop allowing it to happen, or start charging a fee for anyone who gets a "high" out of doing it to you. (shouldn't they pay for the priviledge, just as a man pays for the sex he gets from a **********?).

Our emotions tell us whether it feels good or is yucky. We should only do the things that make us feel good.

"Yucky" means our intuition is warning that this is in serious conflict with our beliefs.

If you are a slave, and you don't enjoy some of the tasks, then it is time to find a new Master/Mistress or to re-negotiate your limits or duties. It is up to you to do only what you enjoy.

If you empty rubbish cans all day as a way to earn a living, then make sure you wear a happy smile, and adopt the belief that this is the most wonderful job in the world - and make people notice how lucky you are.

In the UK, it was discovered that drivers had higher risk of heart attack than the bus conductors who walked about collecting fares. So sitting down on the job is hazardous to your health, and probably more boring with fewer people to talk to and ENJOY conversations.

If you want your life to be much happier, then be like Tony Robbins and decide what you are no longer willing to put up. If you don't like washing your clothes in a bath like he did, then focus on what you would rather have, and switch off the energy that is dragging you down.

Businesses often shed customers that are a "pain in the buttocks", so shed out of your life things or people that "piss you off". If you are in an abusive relationship, walk away even if you have to start off again with no money in the bank. Your health and self-esteem will improve as soon as the stress is left miles behind, and if you DON'T LOOK BACK you will be surprised how fast your wealth grows again BECAUSE YOU HAVE EXPERIENCE AND LIFE SKILLS OF HOW TO HANDLE YOUR MONEY WELL SECOND TIME ROUND. Many millionaires lose their money, but bounce back richer than ever. You don't lose your skills and know how ever.

The key is to do things you like doing, and to employ ONLY THOSE people who LOVE doing the things you hate doing. The world is full of people who hate their jobs, which proves that the selection processs is slanted towards people who know what to write in their CV to get a job interview,

rather than employing people who will DEFINITELY ENJOY THE WORK OFFERED.

I find it incredibly stupid that recruiters prefer to use scanners to look for key words in CVs to minimise the task of interviewing job seekers. Are recruiters that stupid and lazy?......yes, they are and all they get is a team of people who mostly hate their jobs. Only the money holds them!

 

[Custer Laststand]

Um.... say what?

Hi Ms. Saraha,

What is your post 78 (above) all about? Did you confuse "Am_I_a_cuck's" thread with "Devavu2009's" thread?

—Custer

 

[Saraha]

Custer, cucks often become cucks for the wrong reasons, and then suffer unnecessarily, when it would be so much better to get to core values, so you can "suffer with a smile" rather than "a heap of regrets, confusion and low self-esteem".

In my book, cuckolds should be on a pedestal, and Bulls and cuckoldresses should be thrilled that they exist.

Macho men rush to Lawyers fill out the Divorce papers at the slightest sign of infidelity -thereby proving their "manhood" is vulnerable to humiliation whenever another guy tries to chat up the macho man's trophy wife. A macho man lives in fear that his trophy wife will be spirited away by a "takeover bid" from a guy good at seduction.

Who is the guy with most insecurity, the cuck or the macho man? I reckon it is the macho man, although he tries to hide his insecurity. The cuck freely admits his sexual inadequacy problem, and offers his wife permission to top-up with lovers of her choice.

 

[I_am_cuck]

Bump up to fill in my new update.