KS,
I hope you can address the points here after your update about Tuesday evening.
I certainly don't want to delay that!
But I can't hold off posting any more. I have a million questions,which
I'm storing up for later, but I guess these are currently on the top of my mind. You've bared your
soul to the point where I identify with you, and I feel like you may be feeling
some non-erotic pain and anxiety at this point.
[Later edit: I think I was being alarmist. But I think the questions are important, and may point to problems.
Maybe Min-Ju made some explicit promises to KA, because it was hot to do so. She gets the
same thrill that KS does from making "irrevocable" commitments. So, she resolved to stay with KA at all times (if
he wished) and serve him in every way. And, to make it more of a commitment, maybe she promised him she
would do that. Maybe she even promised long before he showed up.]
Your last post said Min-Ju was at the airport with KA. While I don't
think it's probable, I wouldn't be totally surprised if she didn't
come back - just got on the plane with him. Because you may not
really have understood what was going on in her head and heart. I
feel like I don't.
[Apparently didn't happen.]
Of course, a lot has happened since your last post, so maybe it's all
good (or very bad). Probably the best I can hope for is that
it's mostly good, with some significant anxiety.
You REALLY need to understand Min-Ju's motivation for some of her
behavior. You don't want to guess -- it's easy to feel that you know
a lover's mind, and then get a truly ugly surprise. Like a lot of
guys, I know that from harsh personal experience. I don't want to
make you paranoid, but to emphasize how critical it is to find out
what she was really thinking/feeling, not to project your own feelings
onto her.
I wonder about several things:
* Why did she spend every second with him, to the extent that she
barely had time to text you a few sentences on some days?
It seems like this was painful for you in a not good way, and
it's hard for me to understand.
Maybe it was hot the first couple of days, but it doesn't seem to be
what you wanted. After the reception, it wasn't required by her
gallery duties, or the demands of being a good host. So, it must have
been what she wanted. But why? Is it even what KA wanted? Didn't he
he have some things to do that didn't involve her? If so, why didn't
she take those times to communicate more?
It seems that she chose to treat his every whim, however trivial,
as something that took precedence over your needs.
[Of course, that was hot for you at times. ]
Could it be that her fantasy was to (temporarily) play act as his
slave, not just sexually but in other ways? That would be the best
case scenario. If so, you need to learn more, so, in the future,
you can help push her buttons 1/10th as well as she has pushed yours.
You owe her that.
But that doesn't really compute for me, because KA probably would
have preferred that you not be around, and would have requested that
she not let you stay at home, and maybe, exclude you from even more
activities. She must have made a deal with him where he could keep
fucking her IF he tolerated your being around. (Maybe I'm wrong and
he wanted it. You certainly need to know.) But that's totally
inconsistent with her slave role.
[In fact, maybe she promised to be his slave, under the condition that
he had to allow KS in the house.]
* What the fuck was the dinner dismissal about on Monday? When you
said you had hit your limit, at first I thought it was just because
things had been going on so long. But, really, the turning point
was not being invited to dinner with them. I think that's when you
really decided you "kind of didn't like him." -- and I can see why.
But it's not like they needed more alone time, for fuck's sake!
Was this a drama she made up for your
benefit? Maybe it hit your hot zone, but it pretty un-erotic, given
the more sexual things she could have done. Or did KA want her to
do it? You really need to know.
[I really want to know where this came from, and whether it was
something that pushed KS over the edge, but maybe it was kind of
hot. Maybe KA wasn't enthusiastic about dinging with KS again,
or maybe MJ was just pulling KS's chain.]
* I think you projected onto Min-Ju your desire to see him leave on
Wednesday. I bet you said something about having had enough, and
that she agreed to avoid a conflict. Her affectionate behavior at
the store might well have been an effort to placate you. If she had
really hit her limit, I just don't think she would have fucked him
again.
Once the game was over, it would be hard to continue the play
acting.
So, why did she continue? This is related to the first point. Did
she resolve that she was going to act as his slave, EVEN if she'd
decided it wasn't that fun any more?
Or did she desparately want to please KA at all costs, even if she
was tired and you were unhappy? That's what I worry about!
[Worth finding out. But maybe she just promised to fuck KA
whenever he wanted, and didn't want to renege.]
* I REALLY wish you would ask her how she would have reacted if you
had asserted yourself and taken her off to bed unexpectedly when she
was hanging out with KA, as I proposed. I speculated that she would kind of like
it, but now I'm not so sure.
I'm not pushing the idea, and I'm glad you didn't do it (it sounds
like you didn't). But her answer to that question would be very
revealing.
I have this sinking feeling in my gut that she might be REALLY
upset, I guess because it might displease KA. And that crosses over
from role playing to something much more serious that you would need
to worry about.
[Maybe not so serious. If she promised KA, she might not want to
renege on that. I actually think it would be hot if she felt she had
promised him and *had* to follow through.]
Or, more benignly, maybe she was REALLY into the slave fantasy, and
part of that was serving his needs no matter what, even if she had gotten
tired of it. If you had done this, it would have blown it up, and maybe
disrupted her fantasy. If that's the case, you need to know, too -- it will tell you a lot
about her.
[I stil think you need to know.]
.